Feels like I have always known you
And I swear I dreamt about you
All those endless nights I was alone
It's like I've spent forever searching
Now I know that it was worth it
With you it feels like I am finally home
Home was what she felt when Elliot looked into her eyes. Home was in the moments when her body shivered when his hand brushed against her lower back. Home was the feeling of safety and protection when she was beside him. Olivia Benson's home resided with Elliot Stabler.
In the past forty-eight hours she almost lost him. An arrest gone wrong. It happens. They both learned it through years of training. She knew his rage had been building, but he was calming down. Elliot didn't kill the man he tried to arrest.
She fought. She battled Melinda. She battled Casey. She battled IAB. Olivia fought until she couldn't fight anymore for her partner's innocence. When she helped find it, there wasn't a personal thank you. There was a brush of the shoulders, a nod of acknowledgment and him leaving the courtroom. With every step he took, he shattered her heart more and more.
Fallen head over heels
Thought I knew how it feels
But with you it's like the first day of my life
Casey and Melinda had read the heartbreak in their friend's eyes. They asked her to go out for a drink, but Olivia didn't want that. She wanted to be alone. No... she wanted to be with Elliot. But that wasn't an option. No, she was alone... again.
Olivia had gone to a bar not too far off from the precinct. She noticed the men checking her out. Tonight, a strong body couldn't fill this aching void. Tonight only her Elliot could do it for her. But as said, it wasn't going to happen. So she finished her short drink of vodka, paid her tab and took a painful walk to the precinct. Silent tears fell from her eyes, but she would never allow Elliot to see her this broken.
She gathered her strength as she entered the precinct doors. For her benefit, he wasn't there. Whenever he was around her, her heart seemed to beat for the first time. It was unfortunate how love plagued the broken. It appeared to revive it, when really it was lengthening the kill.
As she laid in the cot across from his, she took a heavy sigh. No one was in the precinct, so she allowed the tears to come. The loneliness brought her to a dream land. A land where love with El was possible.
Cuz you leave me speechless
When you talk to me
You leave me breathless
The way you look at me
You've managed to disarm me
My soul is shining through
Can't help but surrender
My everything to you
"I want to come home," is what he said. He was ready for her to take him in his arms and make him forget the mistakes he made. He was ready to capture her lips and carry her to the bedroom they hadn't made love in in over two years. He was ready to do whatever was necessary to become a family again.
He wasn't ready to see a half naked man in their living room.
"Im sorry, El. I've moved on. You need to move on."
Those are words he wasn't ready for. He didn't want to feel the hurt. He was speechless. He didn't want to return to his apartment. He decided to go to the precinct. He needed a run. He needed sleep. Elliot needed to get his mind off the failure he had become.
When he arrived, he wasn't completely surprised to see Olivia's coat on her chair. She never rests. He quietly made his way to the crib fearing to wake her from sleep. When he stepped into the room, he was shocked at what he found.
I thought I could resist you
I thought that I was strong
But somehow you were different from what I've known
I didn't see you coming
You took me by surprise and
You stole my heart before I could say no
Olivia was sleeping. Tear tracks still moist on her cheeks. Her body found comfort in a fetal position turned toward the door. Elliot's heart saddened as he touched her cheek. What he didn't expect was for her to turn toward his hand and a warm tear escape her closed eyes. He knew that she talked in her sleep but wasn't expecting what she said...
"Elliot?"
She was sleeping. He shushed her and whispered, "Liv, what's wrong. Why are you crying?"
"Why? Why not me?"
He was puzzled. More tears came from her eyes and he attempted to wipe them clean. "What do you mean?" he asked softly.
A silent sob escaped her and he felt her body weaken. Before she was incoherent, she cried, "Why can't you love me?"
Elliot sat stunned. The fact was is that he did love her. He didn't know when it happened, but he loved her. It broke his heart to see her so broken. She had fallen asleep on his hand and he nudged her cheek softly. "Sleep Liv," he whispered. Guilt along with his previous frustrations plagued his body from sleep. He managed to escape Olivia's presence without waking her and made his way to the precinct gym for a well earned run.
Fallen head over heels
Thought I knew how it feels
But with you it's like the first day of my life
Olivia had awaken the next morning startled to see Elliot in the bunk across from her. She sighed and moved to her bag for some clothes for a quick shower. She needed to be in court for another case to support the victim. She stood, cracking her back slightly and stepped toward Elliot. She remembered at one time seeing a smile in her partner's features when he slept. That was a while ago. Now there was seriousness in his jaw and brows. She kissed his forehead softly and was surprised to hear him moan her name.
"Liv..."
Her mouth dropped. Her hand dropped to her side and she briskly walked to the showers to get focused on the case. Unfortunately, her thoughts turned to Elliot... they always returned to him.
"Liv?" Elliot asked waking up to find her area missing. Had it all been a dream? Was he newly divorced? Was he in love with his partner? The answer to the first question was no... the second questions answered yes. He sighed and moved over and quickly changed for the privilege for working for the New York Police Department. He only hoped to have the privilege to have his favorite partner by his side.
You leave me speechless
When you talk to me
You leave me breathless
The way you look at me
You've managed to disarm me
My soul is shining through
I can't help but surrender
Oh no
My everything to you
Olivia moved into her lonely apartment after a long day in court. Again she turned Casey down for dinner. She needed to think. Her mind couldn't get off of him. Of what he said. Her name in his sleep. Maybe he was waking and he could sense her. He was always a light sleeper. But she chose to believe that he was dreaming of her. But damn... what complications!
She moved to her kitchen and pulled a Lean Cuisine from the freezer. She hated what flavors were in her freezer, but she didn't want take out. She wanted enough food so she could sleep without her hunger waking her in the middle of the night.
As she placed the frozen "pizza" in the oven, she heard a knock at the door. She set the timer and opened the door quickly. She was stunned to see her partner, with broken lilies in his hand and a puzzled expression on his face. "Liv..."
You leave me speechless
(the way you smile, the way you touch my face)
You leave me breathless
(it's something that you do I can't explain)
I run a million miles just to hear you say my name
baby
"El..." Before she could speak, he had stepped to her and cupped her face with his hand. She sighed and allowed her head to fall into his strong hand and she stared into his eyes.
"No more talking Liv," he whispered. He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers in a soft and passionate kiss. The love he had for her was hers for the taken as he found himself vulnerable to a woman for the second time in the past forty-eight hours.
Olivia's heart soared. Her arms immediately wrapped around his neck and she pulled their bodies flush together. The pizza in the oven and the limp lilies on the floor were long forgotten. All that mattered was them. Love. Love left the most stubborn people speechless. And for the first time, they were happy being silent and in love.
You leave me speechless
You leave me breathless
The way you look at me
You've managed to disarm me
My soul is shining through
I can't help but surrender
My everything to you