Akatsuki Stories III: Fututsuka

Disclaimer: All events in this story have been acted out by chickens dressed like turkeys.

Chapter I

New Beginnings

Part I: Itachi

Itachi went down a tunnel as he follwed Konan and the Peins to their lair.

" Are we there yet?" asked Fat Pein.

"No." said Konan.

"Now?" asked First Pein.

" No." said Konan, annoyed.

" Now?" asked Spiky Head Pein.

" No!" yelled Konan, about to turn them into paper.

" Now?" asked Itachi.

" Of course, Itachi!" Konan said.

She opened a hatch and Itachi gazed at the lair. It was a metallic room filled with gadgets and jutsu scrolls. The floor was painted with a peirced flower. It was a dream...

" Uh, Itachi?" Big Jaw Pein poked Itachi so hard, he Tsukuyomi'd him!

TSUKUYOMI REALM

Big Jaw Pein was tied to a chair with Fat Pein. Three guys in black suits were standing in front of him.

" Oh no!" he cried, " Not this movie!"

" Where's the Punisher?" asked one of them.

" In the basement! In the basement!" sobbed BJ Pein.

" So you won't tell?" said the man, " Fine then. Remy, the pliers."

" I just told you! In the basement! The elevator's behind you!" BJ Pein cried more.

But it was too late.

" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!!!!!!"

They ripped each peircing out viciously, leaving hardly any skin on his face.

It's no over yet." said Itachi, " Wait a minute! BIG JAW? YOU scared me?"

" Of course, you !" screamed BJ Pein, " Now untie me!"

JUTSU END

Big Jaw fell to the floor, grabbing his face.

" THE HORROR!" He screamed, " THE HORROR!!"

" All the Peins hate "The Punisher" movie." Konan whispered into Itachi's ear, " They say it's "inhumane"."

Itachi sweatdropped. He walked i and the room echoed.

" THIS is the lair?" asked Itachi, " My old lair was a cave with a small TV and refrigerator!"

" Actually," said Konan," This is the Employee's Lounge. If you want to be part of the Fututsuka, you have to work at the store above!"

" So, would you like to join?" asked Long Hair Pein.

" Sure." said Itachi," Just keep me away from staples. I had a bad experience as a child...

FLASHBACK

5-year old Itachi was in Konoha Kindergarten, and he was making a painting.

" I call thee, Tsukuyomi Land"!" cried Itachi.

It was a black moon against a red sky.

" Good work, Itachi!" said Tsunade, who was the teacher," How about I staple it to your shirt?"

He nodded. Tsunade got out the stapler and...

"OOWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Blood was seeping out of his shirt. Then, the Third Hokage entered the room.

" Tsunade!"he yelled," For the last time, we use SAFETY PINS, NOT STAPLES!"

So Tsunade was fired and met a guy named Dan.

FLASHBACK END

" Ow." said First Pein.

" But you have no choice but to work with staples." explained Konan, " The names of the store is STAPLES."

"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!"yelled Itachi.

" We CAN give him the one job not involving staples!" said Fat Pein.

Itachi screamed.

The Fututsuka gathered around and explained the situations. Over and over, Itachi screamed as he rocked back and forth in the Fetal Position.

" All right, then!" said Konan, " Itachi your Staples-"

"AAAH!"

"-new Door man!

So Itachi held the door open for everybody because Konan was too cheap to get an automatic door.

And that's how Itachi began his new adventure!

To Be Continued...