Personal Hell
AN- Two fics in one night, while fighting with a spyware-infested computer. How good am I? XD Anyway, this is just a random drabble I cam up with on a whim.
Damn. Supposedly your life flashes before your eyes as you die It's quite dramatic and moving. (Not that you really need to be moved, seeing as you are already quite dead) Not for Lawliet. Rather than that, he'd just been drenched with tea.
I spend my entire life as a recluse to support the greater good and what happens to me? I die hanging off a chair covered in tea. What happened to Karma?
L sulked. Or, he would have if it is possible to sulk when you are without a tangible form. Really, he just made sad voices in his head.
Really. This is unfair. What did I do to deserve floating into nothingness? I can't even sit this way.
It really was quite pathetic. It's not like anyone can even hear you when you're dead. Or at least L was 99 sure of this. Unfortunately, as L had learned in the past minute, he wasn't always right. Otherwise he'd still be alive, until he eventually succumbed to poisoning himself with sugar. (It would take a lot of sugar. But, he was sure it was possible)
While L was lost in his thoughts, a booming voice cried into the darkness.
"This is better than hell Lawliet. You do realize that, right?"
L rolled his eyes. Death does not tend to make one a better human being.
"Nice voice. Very dramatic. Scary. What can you do to me anyway? I'm dead."
"I could send you to hell."
"Sure. Who are you? God?"
"Yes."
"Shit."
L woke up about an hour later. If there is time in eternity. You'll have to ask him that. He looked down and checked. His body was now there. Ten toes, ill-fitting blue jeans, white shirt, ten finger, full head of hair. What was wrong? This didn't seem bad to him. Then he looked up. And it all go better.
L was sitting in a room that looked like it was a banquet in preparation. Or at least the desert tables. He saw cookies. Lots and lots of cookies, all piled up on silver trays. He started drooling.
"There has to be a trap. This can't be real. I'm in hell, right?" L said aloud. "Well, what's going to happen? Am I going to be poisoned? That doesn't seem so bad."
L gathered his courage and walked to a plate of nonthreatening chocolate chip cookies. Carefully, he picked one up and sampled it.
At the first bite, it tasted fine. But, he quickly knew something was amiss. L started gagging. He spit out the cookie and writhed on the floor.
"What is this!" He then controlled himself, and looked at the cookies. There was a small card next to them proclaiming the recipe.
Chocolate Chip Cookies. Made with Splenda.
If it was possible for L to get anymore pale, he did.
"This. Is Hell."
AN- Teheheeeee. For those of you who don't know, Splenda is a common sugar substitute. It supposedly tastes the same, but I'm sure L could tell the difference. Poor guy.