A/N: This is complete and pure crack, like... there is NOTHING serious about this entire story. Nothing. LOL Written for author ohmyloki ages ago.
Knock, knock, knock.
Thor looks up curiously, glancing over at Jane beside him on the couch before he stands and walks over to the door, unlocking and opening it.
He stops, frozen, blinking a couple of times at the person in front of him.
Deep red lips slowly smile as leather-clad hip leans against the door frame. "Hey, big fella. I was sent up here. Told you were looking for some company."
"Uhhhh…"
"Thor? Who is it?" Jane peeks around Thor and her jaw drops. "Uhhhh…"
"So verbose." Standing in front of the couple is a gorgeous woman, pale skin, long silky black hair hanging past her ass. Clad completely in a skin-tight leather cat suit. There was nothing left to the imagination, between the tight fit and the extremely low cut front. Her lips are painted dark red and her large green eyes gleam with mischief.
Thor clears his throat a couple of times, his wide blue eyes skittering over the person in front of him before he frowns a little. "Wait…"
She is suddenly gone, with a flash and cloud of green smoke and a dark laugh.
"He... he is adopted."
. . . . . . . . . .
Knock, knock, knock.
There's only a brief moment before the door opens, Natasha glaring at the person on the other side before a blank expression settles over her features.
"Hey there, sweetheart. I was sent up here. I was told you were looking for some company." Perfect red lips quirk in a sultry smile, long black lashes fluttering over her gleaming green eyes.
"Hey, Barton? Did you make a call?" The red head turns her head just slightly, blue eyes steady on the woman in front of her.
"What? Nooo…?"
Natasha turns her head back fully, eyes moving down the leather clad woman in front of her slowly and carefully. "Uh huh. All right, get in here. We're just about to start."
Green eyes blink as though in surprise before a wicked grin curls her lips and she steps inside, the door closing behind her.
. . . . . . . . . .
Knock, knock, knock.
Nick Fury opens his door, one hand on his holstered weapon.
He stares, unblinking, at the woman in front of him.
"Hello, big guy. I was…" The door closes with a SLAM and a distinct sound of the lock clicking.
. . . . . . . . . .
Knock, knock, knock.
Steve stares at the door for a moment before scrambling to open it. His eyes bulge as he stares at the woman in front of him. She steps a little closer, breathing deeply so that her breasts heave and stretch against the leather covering her body.
"Hey there, big boy. I was sent up. Told you could use some company." She bats her long lashes, arching her back a little to push her heaving chest closer to Steve.
"Uh, uhm… I'm not… I don't…" Steve swallows thickly, his fingers digging into the door and making five deep indentions.
"Oh, I know. I was sent to YOU." She smiles wider, stepping a little closer.
"Uhm, I'm sorry, ma'am. I – I – I… this isn't… sorry!" He shuts the door quickly and scampers away to the bathroom, gasping. "Cold, need cold…"
. . . . . . . . . .
Knock, knock, knock.
Darcy huffs and stands up, opening the door wide with her mouth open to yell before she sees the woman standing in front of her.
Her mouth hangs open for another moment before she starts laughing hysterically. "Was this tonight?! Get your ass in here!" She reaches out, grabbing the woman by the leather and drags her close for a deep kiss, slamming the door shut with a giggle.
. . . . . . . . . .
Knock, knock, knock.
Tony looks up with a wide grin, running over to throw open the door.
"Took you long enough! How'd it go?"
Loki steps into the room with a chuckle. "Three out of six. And what, did you expect me to, what is the phrase, 'hit it and quit it'?"
"Uh uh. Darcy doesn't count."
"You did not specify. You only said at least three within the Tower. You owe me."
Tony rolls his eyes and throws a box at Loki, smirking. "Here. Take it. Get out of here, go back to your girlfriend and give her her birthday present. I can't believe she let you do that."
"Of course. Darcy knows who and what I am." Loki catches the brand new StarkPad easily then grins widely at Tony, his features shivering and changing into the gorgeous woman who was stalking the halls of the tower for the past few hours. "Or, I have a little time; I could aim for one more…" She leers at Tony, who lets out a sharp laugh, waving his hands.
"Sorry, I'm not drunk enough for THAT yet. Give me a few more drinks, and then we'll talk."
Loki lets out a soft laugh before disappearing with a puff of green smoke.
Tony smirks, pulling up the pictures of Loki in full on high-class escort regalia on his tablet. "Oh, yeah. You only THINK you won that bet, buddy. JARVIS, save all these on the secure server."