Chef Brittany:
"You have to gain weight Abrams." Coach Beast said as she sat at her desk across from Artie.
"Am I really that skinny?" Artie asked confused.
"Kid, I could snap you like a pencil on a trampoline in Fort Lauderdale".
Artie was once again confused.
"Ill tell you what Abrams, you gain weight by next Thursday and everything will be better than a stack of waffles on a puppy's pogo stick", Coach Beast smiled. Artie had wheeled himself to Brittany's locker after his meeting with Beast. He told her what happened, and a light bulb went off in her head.
"Ill tell you what, Artie. I'll make your lunches for school 'til next Thursday; you'll gain weight for sure," Brittany said.
"Sure, Brit, that's great." Artie let out a nervous chuckle.
"Your letting her cook for you?" Mike was bewildered.
"Well, if she can read, I'm sure she can cook", Rachel replied, then poked Santanna in the arm. "She can read right?
"Yes, Berry, she can read", Santanna answered, irked.
"The only problem is her cooking skills. She made me a peanut butter and jelly, only the peanut butter was actually butter with crushed peanuts and the jelly..." Santanna paused "Never mind".
Artie was nervous, but he didn't want to hurt Brittany's feelings… but he didn't want to die either.
"Maybe it wont be so bad" he said.
The next day:
"Here you go Artie" Brittany said with a sweet smile. She handed her boyfriend a brown paper bag. Hesitantly, he opened it and pulled out a Tupperware bowl with what appeared to be chocolate pudding. Artie smiled at this. He stuck his spoon into the dessert.
"Thanks for the pudding, Brit. It looks great"
Brittany smiled at this then spoke. "Oh, its not pudding Artie. It's egg plant casserole." She said this as Artie put a spoonful in his mouth. His eyes bulged.
"I think the corn flakes give it an extra crunch, don't you agree?"
Artie now knew what death tasted like. It was terrible.
The day after:
"Wow, Artie, how did your stomach survive that?" Tina asked. Artie had told her about the eggplant monstrosity, and she was seriously grossed out.
"I had to finish the whole thing. She put soy sauce in it for extra flavor". Artie rubbed his stomach while he spoke.
"Well, maybe things will be different today. Look, here she comes." Brittany came over and handed her boyfriend the infamous brown bag.
"Sorry, Artie, I had to rush making your lunch. I made you a Tunafish sandwich. I know your going to like it; this brand of tuna is Lord Tubingtons favorite. She kissed him and ran off. Artie gave a sigh of relief and took a huge bite of the sandwich.
"This is really good." Artie was happy he got a good lunch till he heard Tina laughing.
"What is it?" he asked.
"I've seen Brittany feed her cat before. The tuna she feeds him is from the Paw power company." Her eyes started to tear up.
"And?" Artie was confused and took another bite.
"Paw power is an animal food company" Tina was now hysterical with laughter. Artie dropped the Sandwich and wheeled himself as fast as he could to the bathroom.
The rest of the week and the week after was terrible for Arty's stomach. He endured hot dog and M&M surprise, Macaroni with grape syrup and slim jims and many more culinary creations that would make anyone sick. Today was the day Artie was being weighed.
Coach Beiste checked the machines stats and it was clear Artie had gained 5 pounds, which was perfect for him.
"Wow, Abrahms, I'm impressed. How did you manage this?" Beast asked. Artie looked at her with a sick face
"My girlfriend's cooking", he groaned.