A Man a Woman Could Count On
Sam ponders what she really, truly wants in a man. What would she decide? "Sacrifices" episode.
Disclaimer: These are not my characters. I'm just borrowing. There is no profit involved, unfortunately
"I am not an object to be worshipped!" protested Kar'yn. It was obvious to Sam, obvious to anyone who observed the couple, that Rya'c did put her on a pedestal. In a month – at the next full moon – Rya'c and Kar'yn would be married there at the facility, unless an appropriate planet could be found for relocation in the meantime.
"May all your problems be little ones," said Sam to the handsome young couple, giving a bit of an old-fashioned blessing on their upcoming union.
"Problems? I do not understand," replied Rya'c, confused, his brow creasing. "We will have our challenges, that is certain, as do all Jaffa, but we will stand together as man and wife!" He straightened up a little taller at this and drew Kar'yn close to his side. She nodded her agreement solemnly.
"No, no, that's not what I meant," Sam corrected hurriedly. "What I mean is, may all your problems be little ones, as in, little babies!?" Something was definitely being lost in the "translation." Darn those culture barriers!
"Little ones? Oh, of course!" Rya'c's face beamed. "We shall have many sons who are warriors, as I am, and my father before me!" Rya'c's face glowed with pride as he squeezed the leather-clad shoulder of his wife-to-be.
"And daughters, too, who are worthy warriors," added Kar'yn, simultaneously elbowing her fiancée and blushing at the thought of their almost-imminent, potentially procreative activities.
Why hadn't I noticed Daniel's arm around me sooner? Sam thought, as she caught herself patting and playing with his hand. She stopped doing so. Glancing over at Daniel's face, she could see that he was as caught up in the moment as she had been, touched by the young couple's contagious happiness. Unconsciously, they were mirroring the joy of the couple before them.
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Later, in the lab, she sighed heavily, thinking back to her botched blessing. Babies. Yes, they were on Pete's agenda. He had already told her he wanted four children. He was often setting things up, making decisions that should be theirs to make, not his. The handsome cop had swept her off her feet, given her roses, wined and dined her, and she had appreciated all the attention, she had to admit. But she was disquieted about their relationship and not at all looking forward to making wedding plans.
Then there was Jack, her CO. What a tangled mess that "relationship" was. Sam thought of the times she had approached him to tell him she loved him, when he deflected her words almost before they were out of her mouth. She felt frustrated, sick and tired -- sick of her seeming inability to just plain confront him, to get things out in the open once and for all, and tired of waiting for him to make "that move," the move she felt was his place to make. Shouldn't she stop begging, after all these years?
Of course, now that she was engaged, Jack had probably given up any inclination he may have had to make "that move." What was she doing marrying Pete, anyway, when she loved Jack? And did she really love Jack...or...for the first time she dared allow this thought... was he some kind of an authority figure from whom she subconsciously sought approval? And then there was the age difference...a difference that could not be denied, if one was truthful about it, regardless of physical attraction.
Sam closed her eyes to try to catch the tears that welled up, but failed. The drops formed and fell, spattering onto the gray- tiled floor as she tried in vain to focus on the work at hand. All she had was questions with no answers. The brilliant astrophysicist who helped save the world several times over, who was supposed to have it all together...most certainly did not.
The only person she could possibly confide in would be Daniel. He was a true and loyal friend who had offered her consolatory hugs any number of times. She knew her intelligent and capable teammate to be sensitive, honest, and honorable. Sam felt a deep and abiding admiration for Daniel's loyalty to Sha're, and for his fierce determination to get her back. "Something of the host remains" was the hopeful mantra he held onto for so long, until his wife was clearly lost to him forever.
Sam and Daniel had been through so much together, over the years, with the team. Several times she had both deeply mourned his loss and celebrated his return.
What do you want, Sam? It was almost as if her father spoke. A man a woman could count on, she answered back, one who committed but did not demand unduly, who loved and cared but did not smother.
Sam had had enough of this self-psychoanalysis. Her brain ached. Give it a rest. With difficulty, and with the help of numerous tissues, Sam finally made the shift from sensitive Sam to astrophysicist Sam, and returned to her work.
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The three of them – Sam, T'ealc, and Daniel – were working out in the gym, as they regularly did. Sam and Daniel were working with weights, albeit not on the same level as T'ealc, who hefted the largest barbells.
They were "talking shop" and discussing the recent cloned Asgard incident, along with the increasing difficulty of keeping Stargate Command and their interplanetary battles a secret from the world.
"Whew! Hot in here!" declared Daniel, stripping off his black T-shirt with one fluid movement. He threw it onto a nearby bench and then settled in for some more arm curls.
Sam looked over at Daniel... really looked at him. He was well-muscled and strong, though of course not in the same way as the hugely muscled Jaffa. His brow wrinkled slightly in concentration each time he brought the weight up toward his shoulder. His face, his body...that he was a handsome man she could not deny. Sam's eyes caressed him for a moment, and in that moment a heat not exercise-related infused her body. She felt her face flushing with embarrassment.
"Sure is!" Sam belatedly agreed, wiping her face with a towel and then looking away. "I think I've had enough, guys."
"Hey, you just got here, Sam! Wimping out already?" Daniel teased, resting the weight momentarily near his knee and squinting slightly.
"Are you all right, Colonel Carter?" T'ealc inquired solicitously, as soon as he had completed his next bench press.
"Yes, fine. Just...a little tired," she lied. "Look, guys, see you later." She exited as quickly as she gracefully could.
And what was that all about, Carter? Sam asked herself in the locker room. You have, or had, a physical relationship with your fiancée, you dream of your commanding officer, and now you're attracted to your "friend?"
But even as those thoughts raced through her mind, she knew that she had begun to see Daniel as more than a friend. What she didn't know was how he thought of her, if he thought of her in any special way at all.
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Pete has to be told. It can't wait. Sam chewed on her lower lip while she contemplated what to say. He had been out of town for quite some time, now, though they talked a couple of times a week. He had been pressing her for a wedding date. Who knows what he's apt to do next? Maybe something really off- the- wall, like buying a house without any input from me.
Sam held the phone like it was some dread object, took a deep breath, and dialed.
It was not as difficult as she thought it would be, and he took it as well as could be expected, as the saying goes. Perhaps it was not much of a surprise to him. When he moved his few things out of his half-empty apartment, he would pick up the ring.
Sam hated to hurt anyone, hated to say "no" to anyone, and yet she knew that what she had just done was right. Both her heart and her mind confirmed that, as did the flood of relief that washed over her when she finally put the phone down.
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What the...? Sam asked herself as the doorbell chimes rung loud and clear throughout her quiet home, scaring Schrodinger off his favorite chair.
It was Daniel, at her door, package in hand.
"Oh, hi, Daniel," greeted Sam. I was just thinking of you, her thoughts, but not her lips, added. "Come on in." He stepped into her living room. "So...what brings you here?"
"I just thought I'd stop by to see how you were doing," said Daniel. "Brought you some chocolates. They're...um...dark. Good for you. Antioxidants and all that. Good for the blood pressure, too."
Sam cocked her head at this last comment and glanced at the box. "So...the 'truffle treatment,' huh? I guess Teal'c must've told you..."
"That you broke up with Pete, yes. How are you doing?"
From the way he looked at her, the way his eyes searched her face, she knew that it was more than a polite question. He really wanted to know. She sighed. "Okay, really," she answered. "It was something that, honestly, I should have done earlier. I just needed...a push." She added nervously, "A reason to do it, though I had plenty already. I mean, he was a good guy and all that, but just...not...for me, I guess."
"Sam..." Daniel started, then seemed to change his mind.
Sam waited a moment for him to continue. He just shook his head. "Well, anyway...how about a cup of coffee?" she asked, moving toward the kitchen. "Oh, and thanks for the truffles, by the way."
"Coffee sounds good, sure," answered Daniel, as he followed her into the kitchen, where they made small talk for a bit.
Then, "So how's Jack? I mean, I've been so busy lately, I thought maybe you'd seen him more than...more than I have."
"Oh, I don't know that I see him any more than you do. Guess he doesn't particularly like the 'general thing.' Besides that..." she let her voice trail off. She needed, wanted to approach The Subject. She thought of the old "asking for advice for a friend" trick, but decided against it.
Her hand trembled a bit as she poured the coffee. She tried to make her voice sound casual. "Daniel...have you ever started to think of a person...a woman...in a way that you hadn't before? In a way you didn't think you would...before?" She stole a sidelong glance at him, all she dared take.
"Yes," replied Daniel, softly, "but that was a long time ago." He's stirring his coffee far more than necessary, thought Sam, who could see the movement peripherally. He seemed to be quietly collecting his thoughts.
Daniel finally continued. "What has happened to me...what I've felt...is the pain of waiting...waiting for someone I had feelings for, and wondering if she would ever have them for me in return." He turned to her, took in a deep and audible breath, let it out slowly. Then, "You, Sam."
Coffee forgotten, she put the carafe down. Their eyes met. The full import of what Daniel was saying was sinking in. Sam's tensed shoulders relaxed and she started to breathe normally again. She had couched her inquiry in vagueness, but he had answered directly. He was moving toward her, weighing her reaction, reaching out to her, tentatively. She responded. Was this really happening?
Daniel's warm lips were pressing on hers, his arms wrapped around her, his scent enveloping her. The kiss was passionate but not demanding. They clung to each other, then Daniel whispered in her ear, "Sam, I've wanted to say this for so long...I love you, love you very much." A little sob escaped Sam's lips. Daniel pushed back from their embrace and looked at her.
"Daniel, I ..." but he stopped her, pressing a finger to her tear-salted lips.
"Look, Sam, you've been to hell and back several times, emotionally, for quite a while now, between one thing and another. Let's take this slow. I'll be around, you can count on that. I'm not planning on ascending again anytime soon. O.K.?"
She nodded.
"By the way, you did a good job of steaming up my glasses," he added, grinning.
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The ceremony was finally happening as planned.
"Rya'c, your heart is pure and your spirit strong. You give me strength and joy and I will stand by your side...always," Kar'yn voiced her vows.
"Kar'yn, you are as beautiful as the sun. My love for you is like the morning rays that dawn over an endless day," returned Rya'c.
Standing side-by-side in the crowd, surreptitiously holding hands, Sam and Daniel watched the young couple before them. This time their touch was not mindless...it was purposeful and meaningful.
Note: "Those Three Words, and My Name" is a sequel to this story.