A/N: Hey guys! I had the inspiration for another poem. This one is depressing as well! I am going to write a really happy one shot to make up for all this angst!
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Guest: Thank you so much for reading my blog! I'm glad you like it! I guess it's obvious that I'm Phan!
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Phan
WARNINGS: CONTAINS SUICIDE, MENTION OF SELF HARM AND DEPRESSION! DO NOT READ IF THIS WILL TRIGGER YOU
You, me,the night sky and the stars
Under the beauty, I wonder how
I have you, oh gorgeous one
You could have better
But you chose me
The ordinary one
With brown hair and eyes
It doesn't make sense, it never did.
How someone so interesting
With ocean eyes and raven hair
Could settle for someone
So weakened and broken.
There are people better out there
Who are all beyond compare
To plain old me
Why can't you see
That I'm no good
And pack up your bags and walk away
But you never leave
Although you have the reasons to.
Here you are and here you stay
Trying to fix broken me
It's impossible, please forgive
My truly awful childhood
Please don't blame the parenting
Blame the school and the boys
Who found a laugh in hurting me
Breaking more than my bones
My spirit distinguished
My shoulders hunched
I always lived in constant fear
Of being unaccepted
And called a queer
Talking back to them never helped
It made my beating ten times worse
I've suffered in silence for many years
The razor became my best friend
Then I met you, my saviour
But you can't save me.
No-one can.
So here I am
Standing on the wrong side of London Bridge
No-one stops, they never do
I'm ignored, which makes me glad
I can be at peace at last
Free from the self-hatred and depression
That's what I have craved for too long
I pushed these thoughts to the back of my mind
Just so I could stay with you a while longer
Now it's time to go, my numbers up
I take deep breaths, two or three
Then let go of the railing
My last thought as I hit the water
Is of you, my beloved one
Please don't hate me
I'm begging you
This is what I had to do
Don't be me, broken and sad
Never walk to the place where I took my life
Don't commit suicide.
Promise me you'll carry on with your life
'Cause I'll be brokenhearted
If you jump off London Bridge like me.
A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this! Please feel free to leave any feedback in a review! I really appreciate it! Until next time!