Opinionated Delusions

AngelxFiend

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters. I just like the hobby of fan fiction.

[Mature rating] [yaoi alert]

Contains adult situations, sexual content and bad language at times.

You no like-y, you no read-y

Thanks~

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CHAPTER one.

Home.

Home is where the heart is. Home is a place you're always welcomed at. No matter what. Its someplace to always rest your weary head.

With that thought, as I stand here on the sandy beach of this once happy filled island where children ran amuck, I feel empty. Void. Out of place.

My hands ball into tight fists as my toes dig into the thick, mucky wet sand. The warm water rushing over the tops of my bare feet, washing back downward. The breeze from the seemingly endless sea brushed my long silver strands from my face. Bringing slight tears to my eyes. The sting from the air and the sting from my heart is to blame. I simply do not belong anymore. That has to be it. The darkness I once harbored cannot be overlooked. Why was it me? Why did I fall prey to it all? Was I really that weak? That foolish? I.. I always prided myself as being their leader. Their example. Instead I caused them pain, confusion and doubt. And now they celebrate our reunion on our once playground. Sora, Kairi, Selphie, Tidus and Wakka. From behind me, about eighty-five feet away from me, they sing old childhood songs over a blazing fire. They laugh so merrily. As if nothing had happen. As if I didn't-!

My nostrils flare a bit in silent rage as my teeth clutch tighter behind my lips. I didn't understand it! Fuck! Why couldn't I be as happy as them? ..Was it that same darkness that lead me to all this still manifesting inside my soul? No. Shit! What was it!? I'm not allowed to be happy. This is my punishment, but for what exactly?

"Riku!"

Being torn from my thoughts, I take a peak over my shoulder to see him. Sora. The one I secretly envied. Yes, I am older, I'm physically stronger than him. I'm his superior yet he has so much more than me! Sora has the one thing I truly want. Happiness. I turn my head back to the setting sun over the watery horizon, nonchalantly stretching my arms high above my head.

"..Yes, Sora?" I give him a small smile, scratching my fingers lightly through my soft hair.

"..Here, your fish is done." He tells me softly, handing me a skewered grilled fish on a stick. I grab it from him, examining it a bit before taking a little bite. It tasted great.

"Riku, you seem a bit distant. Is.. Everything alright?" The brunette asks me. I can feel his big, blue eyes locking on me with nothing but concern. I shrug him off, taking another bite of fish.

"I'm just tired. Its been such an unbelievable adventure." I say with a sigh, forcing myself to look at him. Man, had he grown over time. He was taller, not as bony.. Sora looked so much more mature than he used to. Do I dare call him attractive? I couldn't stop myself from frowning a bit. Luckily, the guy wasn't looking at my face.

Sora laughs sweetly, tucking his hands into his pockets. "Well you always did say we'd get off this island and have our own adventure, right?" His chuckles made my jaw clench.

"..Well yeah, I did. But hell, Sora.. I didn't want to endanger us like this.."

"But what's an adventure without a little danger?"

He's always so optimistic. "That's no excuse Sora!" I shouted at him, no longer able to mask my rage. "We could've been killed.. Or worse.. Kairi could've been without a heart forever. A fate much worse than death.."

I calmed my voice a little.

"Look at it this way, we made it back. Together. Stronger. Closer…- Riku your hand!" He cuts himself off to grab hold of my hand. Without notice, I've snapped the wooden stick my fish once hung from. The splintered wood stabbing into the flesh of my hand. My eyes widened in shock. I.. didn't even feel it at first, yet as I watched my blood run down the curve of my hand and onto his..

"..Aaaah!" I hissed in sharp pain while trying to snatch my hand away from his.

"Stop, Riku! Here!" He holds my arm tight, pulling the stick from out my hand.

I cursed as he pulled me into the water. My soaked pants instantly clinging to my legs as we walked, stopping waist deep in warm salt water. He gently peels off my glove and dips my hand into the water. Washing away the blood from our hands. I looked down at him briefly. His eyes held determination.. And slight worry. Red rings of blood circled us. It stung more.

The younger teen grabs my hand with a second hand. Using his thumbs to apply pressure, stopping the bleed. I could feel his fingers rubbing against the skin of mines soothingly. Sending sensations through me. I felt my face grow hotter.

"Would you let it go? I'm fine. Really. Thanks though.." I complain quietly, liking his remote display of affection and concern.

"That's a pretty deep puncture.." Sora says, lifting my hand up closer to his face for a better view.

"No shit, but its okay." I roll my eyes, looking over his head. I was always taller than him.

"C'mon. Lets go to my house and I'll wrap it. Besides my mom would love to see you again!" He grins his usual toothy grin.

"No, Im going home anyways so I'll do it there." I turn from him, beginning to walk back towards the beach.

"But-!" He starts yet again, running after me. I stopped suddenly. Causing him to ram into my back.

And for a brief second, I stopped breathing. Accidental or not, his arms wrapped around my waist. His face pressed into my back. The water around us rippled hard forward. Causing us to sway a bit. Sora felt so warm.. Just like his personality. And for the first time I recognized how cold I was compared to him. I gasped, caught off guard. Quickly I turned and shoved him away. I panicked. He couldn't know how vulnerable he was making me feel! I watched as he stumbled backwards and underwater briefly. He resurfaced, scattering hundreds of water drops in the air around him.

"What's with you?!" He shrieked angrily. His lips pouting so adorably. His soaked clothing sticking to his body so revealingly. God, I couldn't stop looking at him.. Why?

"Just- Just stay the hell away from me, Sora!" I shouted with equal rage, "You're not the hero anymore!"

With that I bolted away.

My feet beat against the sand as I ran with all my might. I hopped up the dock, ignoring the pounding pain that echoed through my arm from my hand. A slight whimper escaped me as I hurried to untie the ropes from the wooden block we use to keep our boats from floating away. I jumped into my boat, seizing the paddle and making my way away from that blasted island. Away from him.

6:43am.

That's what the digital clock on my desk tells me. Dimly lighting my somewhat pitch-black room with an eerie red glow. I sigh, unable to sleep is a real pain in the ass. Especially since I felt tired as hell. My eyes stare dully at the still wet pants and top that laid haphazardly on my bedroom floor. Accompanied by my underwear. I left my shoes on the beach. I didn't realize that though until I made it upstairs. Who cared.. I just took off my cold, damp clothing and crawled into my bed. Wrapping myself into the sheets.

Turning away, I advert my attention to my opened window I laid next to. I could hear the birds chirping lightly as the leaves rustle in the morning wind. My curtains swayed ghostly. I could begin to see the morning light shining against the soft satin like material. A chilly breeze rush over my bare body. Goosebumps appearing on my exposed thigh. I blink softly. Was that a rumble of thunder? I smile sweetly. Yes. Rain would put me to sleep in an instant.. I soon let my thoughts drift back into the past while awaiting the rain. The darkness I had to finally accept. To become just to get where I had to be.. Ansem.. I understand so much more now that I became you. Well.. For the most part. I laugh at myself, placing a hand on my forehead. How ridiculous! Just a mere thought… The torture was over. Now I have a new issue. A brunette one.

Buzzz! Buzzz! Buzzz!

I jump up, flinging my pillow across the bed. Scared. ..Oh, its just my phone vibrating on the desk. I curse, rolling my eyes and placing a hand on my chest, feeling my heart race.

Standing, I stroll across my room to my desk, lifting the phone as it still shook. I glace at the desk clock. 6:55am. Who could be calling this early in the morning anyways? I slid the screen up, answering the call and placed the speaker against my ear.

"..Yeah, hello?" My voice comes out low and husky.

"Hey Riku, good morning." a soft feminine voice replies. I instantly smirk a bit.

I shift my weight on my left foot, placing a hand on the back on my computer chair. "Oh hey, Kairi.. Whats up?"

"Nothing, I was just wondering if you were going to return to school today with us." She more so tells me than asks.

"To school?.." I pause a moment in thought. I planned on doing so, but I didn't know when. It wasn't like I had anything to do today, might as well. "..Y-Yeah, ok."

"Alright! God, I'm sorry for asking you so short noticed but you left so soon.. And I didn't have the chance to call you later, I was on a date." Kairi goes on to tell me. I could tell she was busy getting ready as she talked.

I hold my hand up, looking at the strange purplish color my wound was turning, leaning against the desk. "A date you say?"

She laughs softly. "Yeah. Sora asked me out as soon as you all got back! Didn't you know?"

"No. No I did not know this.." I answered quickly, my brows frowning together. I clenched my fist closed, the pain drowned out the bitter and resentful emotions that were bubbling inside me. He asked her out? And she said yes? Christ! I was going to ask her out!

"..Oh, that's weird. I could've sworn you would be the first to know. But yeah, anyways.. We are-"

"Do you like him, Kairi?" I cut her off. My tone colder than ice.

"Yeah, a lot. I feel so bad for not remembering him.." I did not want to hear that.

"Do you love him?"

Her silence lasted a bit longer than usual to that question, so I repeated myself sternly.

She finally spoke up, slightly breathing into the receiver. "…I, um.. Well yes. But I love you too, Riku."

My sea green eyes widened a bit. I was taken aback by that one. Why did she throw that in there? Was it that obvious I liked her too? I bit my bottom lip.

"..Of course. We all love each other. We're friends right?" I laughed, trying to dismiss her thought. I didn't need her knowing I was jealous.

"Yeah we all are. ..Riku.."

"Listen.. I really have to start getting ready if Im going to school today, so I will.. Seeya there." I didn't give her a chance to say anything else as I quickly pressed the end key and dropped the phone back down to the desk.

I stood there silent. My fingers pressed against my lips, slipping a nail between my teeth as I bite down on the nail in thought. They were a couple? If I didn't feel left out then I sure as hell did now. I lost her. And I lost Sora.. Wait a minute.. I lost Sora? I shook my head. Who cared? ..Well I did. Why else would I feel a sharp pang in my heart?

"What the fuck.." I murmured, more lost and confused than ever.

I stepped outside, a piece of toast held in my freshly bandaged hand. It was raining. I turned to close the front door behind me. Pausing to adjust the tie around my neck. I take another bite of toast, chewing it slowly. It tasted bland despite the butter and jelly. Holding it between my teeth, I opened my umbrella and stepped out from the shelter of the porch and into the rain. My backpack felt oddly heavy. Must have been the old books I never got a chance to return. I walked down the street, being careful not to splash water on my freshly ironed black school pants. My white, button up dress shirt laid neatly tucked into my slacks, completed with a black necktie. I wanted to make a good impression for my first day. Then again, I always made sure I dressed neatly. Call it pride. I still had it, even if I was shaken and injured..

I arrived at school less than 10 minutes later.

I didn't bother looking for anyone, instead I went straight to my locker. Unloading the books from my bag and then stuffing it towards the back. With a sigh, I grabbed my notebook and pencil case. Lucky it was a small district high school. My locker had been left alone. I looked into the small mirror that was pinned against my door. A bluish green eyed male stared back. I looked tired. Probably all the no sleep I got. Turning my head lightly, I moved in closer. Was that facial hair growing on my chin? I smiled happily. I bet Sora didn't even have pubes below his waist.. Okay, why was I thinking about his pubic hair? Gross.. I slammed the locker shut and made my way towards the main office, stroking my silver chin hairs.

"Riku!"

"Oh my GOD! Is it really you?!"

"What happened to you?"

I stood at the front of the class as a swarm of mostly girls rushed towards me. Some grabbing at me while others stood waving at me. I remained cool, as I usually did. Needless to say, I was always popular with the opposite sex. Well all but one member of the female gender. Kairi. My face dropped a bit at this thought. Instantly my eyes shot over the group of people, looking from desk to desk. Was she here? God, did I even want to see her after that phone call this morning?

Suddenly the world around me slowed down. The color drained. Everything was black and white, muted. Voided of organic life. And there she was. Sitting in the desk furthest to the left of the class room. Against the wall. She sat quietly. Watching me. A look of sadness shadowed her normally jovial expression. Was it because of me? I let my eyes narrow at her. It was just her and I. …Of course it wasn't because of me. I valued nothing above her. I was willing to sacrifice myself.. My friends and family.. Sora.. For her! So theres nothing I could ever do to deserve the look she was giving me.

Briiiiiiiiiinnnng!

Whatever zone we entered disappeared as fast as it appeared as the first bell rang. Signaling the start of my school day. The gang of questioning students dispersed as the teacher entered the classroom. I followed suit, moving down the aisle of desks. The only seat available was behind her. I exhaled briefly in disapproval.

Moving past her without a glance, I sat down slowly. My eyes glued to the back of Kairi's pretty head. There she was. So many questions filtered through my head. Soon I saw her shoulders tense a bit. She turns her head, her soft brown hair shifting as she peeked over her shoulder at me. Our eyes met in a silent gaze. I cracked a smile at her. I couldn't help it. She was cute. I loved her. More than Sora could ever. I suddenly tore my eyes from her, slouching down into my seat and looking out the window. It was grey out, still raining.

"Riku…" She whispered.

"..Yeah?" I answered, now looking down at my hand as I twirled my mechanical pencil around.

"Are you mad with me from earlier?" She asked me, turning in her seat. Facing me fully and placing a warm hand over mines.

Instinctively, I lace my fingers with hers. Caressing them ever so softly. I lean forward, lowering my voice to keep our conversation private. I already knew people were watching my every move..

"Kairi, we're not kids anymore.. It would be childish of me to be upset with you. I only hope Sora takes care of you like you desire to be taken care of." I say softly, staring into her eyes once more. Trying with all my might to mask the complete and utter heartbreak and anger that threaten to engulf me.

She nods gently, smiling sweetly at me before thanking me and turning back around. I smiled back, until she was facing the front of the room once more. Only then did I let my smile fade away. I sit back into my chair, tucking some silver strands behind my ear in thought.

Oh how I longed to be back into my oblivion.

For the most part, my day hurried by. Most likely because I was lost in my own miserable thoughts.

I think back to our earlier days. Carefree kids, wanting to run away from our island of security. To search for other worlds together. Not knowing what exactly we were asking for. But besides that, Sora and Kairi.. I knew he liked her. He must have known I liked her too. Why else were we constantly competing for? But.. Who did Kairi truly like? ..was it him all along?

"..Riku!"

I look up, being snatched from my thoughts. A brunette teen grins happily at me. I bit my lip.

"..Sora.." I say uncomfortably.

"Yo! We finally have a class together. Even if it's the last period of the day." He smiles, crossing his arms behind his head classic Sora style.

I stare at him, trying to put together just whatever the hell he was talking about.

Oh.. Gym class was my last class for the day. And I have it with.. Sora.. I was doing so well avoiding him all day. I could handle sharing class with Kairi. I didn't mind pretending to be perfectly fine with everything. Just being the same ol' Riku she remembered. Her smile was rewarding enough. The way her soft lips curled upwards.. I would imagine kissing those sweet lips of hers when she wasn't looking. But with Sora now, I couldn't help but feel so coldly towards him. I was slowly hating him. Hating that he tore what I most wanted from me. Hating how warm and open he was. How gentle yet so brave.. So much stronger he was now. As children, before Kairi, he was so soft and easily scared. Yet I was the bigger one, the braver one so I always watched out for him. I never let anyone bully him or bother him. And when he cried, like he always eventually did, I was there to make him feel better. Either that or he used that to sucker me out of my candy or ice cream. ..That little idiot. I smiled outside my mind. For the first time all day I smiled a genuine smile.

I finally acknowledged what he was talking about, standing from my chair and collecting my things. "Um, yeah. One class a day together. How will you ever survive without me?" I teased, feeling normal for once.

Sora laughed, pushing me lightly out the door. "Hey, I'll carry that. Hows your hand?"

I watched as he took the books I was carrying in my bandaged hand. Quickly I was flooded with the memories of the day I got hurt. How mean I was to him when he was just trying to help me. Yet he acts like it didn't even happen. Here he comes to my class to walk with me to gym. ..Maybe he deserved Kairi more than I did.

"Thank you, Sora.. I'm sorry about yesterday. I didn't mean what I said.." I tell him, guiding him towards my locker.

"Oh, no sweat. Its ok." He smiled, handing me the books as I put away my things and grabbed my gym clothes.

After I closed my locker door, I swiftly hung an arm around his neck. Pulling him into me in a weird affectionate kind of headlock. "You're a good guy, Sora. I missed you." I pulled him along towards the gym.

"I..missed you too. R-Riku!" He says while squirming against me, trying to pull free.

…Why aren't I surprised?

I shook my head slowly, covered in mud from head to toe. I held the football under my arm as Sora was being forced to stay after class to do chin-ups for royally screwing up and causing my team to lose. But hey, I knew what I was getting into when I recruited him right away. Sora was never that good at sports. I wanted him on my team though. After all, he's my closest friend. It was dumb to have outdoor gym anyways. It was still drizzling out here for Christ's sake. Mud was everywhere. On top of Sora's skills. That's only asking for disaster.

The rest of our classmates had gone home for the day. But I decided to stay with him. The coach made it clear he couldn't leave until he finished every last one of his chin-ups. And from the looks of it, the last one would be the one to kill him. The brunette clutched hold of the bar with all his might. His eyes squeezed shut, his teeth clutched tightly. His nostrils flared as he inhaled loudly. His feet dangling about a foot from the grass. He was a lot muddier than myself. Earth clotted into his unruly brown locks, smeared all over his limbs and face. It was a pity. I dropped the football to the ground with a slight smile. He was a trooper alright. Seeing that I was staying, the coach trusted me to make sure he did all two hundred and fifty-five chin-ups before he left. What a hassle.. So I agreed to cut him some slack and let him duck out early, but he refused. I don't know if he really is that noble or perhaps slightly retarded…

"Come on, last one." I say, looking around a bit to make sure we were in the clear before I walked up directly behind him.

"Shit..!" I heard him curse under a muffled tone.

Wrapping my arms around his thighs, I lifted him up. Completing his torture. I then stepped back a few paces, pulling him away from the bar and setting him down on the ground beneath me. He smiles at me and I smile back. Happy to help.

"I can't believe I screwed up and caused us the game. I'm sorry Riku.. I let everyone down." Sora says softly, leaning against me. I helped him back into the school and towards the boys' locker room.

"Don't worry about it, I didn't expect us to win…. Eh… I mean.." I cut off, looking down at his sulking face, "..I mean, it didn't matter if we won or not! It's just a damn game. Don't let all that shit coach said upset you neither. You're a very special person.. That.. isn't a potato humping fag.." That was quite creative.

"You're right.." He says, limply sitting on the bench, rubbing his arms.

I pulled off my soiled top and tossed it on the bench next to him. "Hell yes I'm right. Without you, everyone would've been dead most likely."

Sora looks up at me with his big, blue doe like eyes. "..without us, you mean." He says with dead calm.

I stood there for a while. "Yeah.. Okay, sure. Without all of us." I smiled with a nod, before walking away to the shower area. Turning on the hot water full blast.

I walked back over to the bench where I sat back down next to Sora. He still hadn't removed any of his clothing, yet he sat there staring down at the floor. I smiled softly. "What's wrong? You look down."

He shook his head gently, looking up at me. "I'm just tired.. And, and my arms are really sore."

I could tell that was only part of it. Something was bugging him. Perhaps it was guilt from holding something back from me. His best friend. But I didn't push it. No, I'll make him feel bad enough that he'll just spill it out. With that in mind, I slid closer to him. Taking his arm in my hands. I watched as he looked on silently. His lips parted as if he was going to protest. A quick, stern glance up at him quickly killed whatever he was going to say. I then began to massage his arm muscles. They felt a bit bigger than I remembered. As my fingers prodded, I smile up at him. He swallows hard. His cheeks turning a nice rosy color. Good. Just a little more and he'll be crying out to me his secret. That he's going with the girl of my dreams..

"Does this help it feel better? Sora?" I ask ever so gently. So kind and lovingly.

"Yeah a lot better. I should shower now.." He says dully while ghosting past me towards the already going shower head.

I smile a bright, toothy smile. Almost laughing! He was so fricken easy sometimes!

I slipped off my gym shorts and boxers quickly. Grabbing the body wash from out my gym bag and turning on my bare heels towards the shower area. Of course whoever planned out the locker room totally threw out the idea of privacy. The showerheads were lined up on the same wall, surrounded by open tiling and a few floor drains. That's about all. But whatever. Its not like that sort of thing mattered. I've known Sora almost all my life. We even took baths together. A simple thing like this shouldn't matter…

I froze.

He was already undressed and under the steamy running water. Brown, murky water ran down his body as he rubbed at his arms furiously. Oblivious to my rude gawking at his nude, wet body. I couldn't look away.. From his pouty pink lips, down his chest where that silver chain he always wore laid. The crown resting against his skin between a pair of light red nipples. I remembered to breathe before allowing myself to keep observing. Yes 'allowing'. I regained control of myself, yet I did not wish to move on. I followed a stream of water down his developing abdomen, over his navel.. Down to the soft patch of pubic hair I earlier doubt existed. Right down to his limp shaft. I felt my heart pound. Just as hard as the falling water pounded his slightly tanned skin. Before I knew it, the plastic bottle of soap slipped from my hand and hit the floor with a loud smack. I cursed it. Bending down, I picked it up and looked over at the other male. He was now looking at me with a smirk.

"I didn't bring my soap, mind if I use some of yours?" He asked, his eyes half lidded as the water ran down his face.

"No, I don't mind." I replied, turning on a second shower. The water came out cold. I was glad.

I handed him the bottle and began wetting my skin and hair. Taking quick glances at Sora as I went. I liked what I saw and I wanted to keep viewing.. Without him knowing of course. Sora was too busy lathering up his thick hair to care or notice. I came to a complete halt just watching, like an idiot. He looked up at me confused before mouthing a silent "oh" and handed me the bottle back. I took it with a nervous chuckle and proceeded to soap myself up. Closing my eyes and taking deep breaths. This was bothering me! Since when did I enjoy looking at another guy's naked body? Especially Sora! I was suppose to be mad at him. I was suppose to hate him..

"Rikuuu.." A whine forced my eyes open.

I ran a hand through my wet, silver hair. Pulling it out of my face, blinking water from my eyes. "What is it?"

He turns in a few circles, trying to reach for his back. It was a cute display.. Revealing more of his body to me. Making my nightmare worse, I was growing erect fast.

"Riku, can you wash my back? It feels like there's dirt still on it.." He groans looking back at me. I cover my groin with the body wash bottle.

I move over behind him. Keeping my distance a bit. There was still a smudge of dirt there. I eased him forward under the water, rinsing it away. Beneath the dirt however, there was a slight cut. Most likely from all the tackles he received. I traced a fingertip over it, trailing it down his back slowly. I wanted to explore his whole body this way.. God, I was getting so flustered from this..

"That tickles.." Sora giggles a bit, with a shudder.

"Oh, Sorry.." I withdrew my hand quickly "You have a cut back here.."

"Great.. Just don't get soap in it." The younger one sighed, pressing the front of his body against the tiled wall under the showerhead.

"Mm.. it's cold kinda. Feels good against my achy body.." He goes on to say as I squeezed a little pile of soap into the palm of my hand. Still trying to take deep breaths.

I smeared the soap over his back in small circles. Forcing myself to remain calm and act natural. This was just a phase. Oh please let it be a phase! I made quick work, grabbing his arms and instructing him to step backwards off the wall and into the water. I was so busy trying to seem normal that I forgot about my now fully erect manhood. I pulled him back.. And into me! I gasped loudly as I felt his moist body press into it. I poked him! He knows! I tried to push him away, but it was too late.. Oh fuck it was too late.. The brunette turned to look at me with wide eyes. His mouth parted in surprise. A light blushing covered his cheeks. I felt my whole face flush with embarrassment. It felt like my heart stopped as well. I kind of wished it had. I covered my face with my hands, I didn't know what else to do! I was ruined..

A few moments like this passed. Only thing heard was the running water and my breathing. I couldn't take it anymore! I turned to run. I had to get away from him. Once more. But before I could take a step away, something grabbed my arm. I paused and looked over my shoulder horrified. It was him! He was stopping me. His eyes held slight amusement and acceptance. I knew he wanted to laugh at me. Call me gay and everything else his mind could conjure up. I wasn't going to let him though.

"Riku.. Its okay. It happens a lot for no reason. Its natural." He tells me gently.

"It wasn't for no reason!" I shouted back at him before thinking. I then slapped a hand over my forehead.

"..It wasn't?" He sounded so confused. "Then why?"

I shook my head. No! This wasn't about me! All this was suppose to be about him and Kairi. I turned back to face him fully. The bottle of body wash still clutched in my hand. I shook with rage.

"Shut up! Why didn't you tell me about you going out with Kairi!? Since you're so understanding, Sora!" I screamed at him.

The younger male stood completely still, shocked once more. He adverts his eyes to the floor, scratching through his hair. It was his turn to be put in a tight squeeze.

"What? Cat got your tongue?" I taunted.

He looks up at me with glossy sorrowful eyes. He stutters quietly, unsure what to say. So I cut off his nonsense.

"Yes I know! ..I thought we were suppose to be tight, Sora! You don't hold out from each other! You knew how I felt about her! Maybe this was suppose to be some kinda lame joke, huh? Laugh at me behind my back.."

"No! Riku, I just didn't know how to tell you! I didn't want to hurt you-" He began desperately.

"BULLSHIT!" I yell once more, throwing the bottle at him. It slammed loudly against the wall beside him, squirting blue liquid along the tiling.

Sora jumps at the sudden violence, brown hair clung to his face. I breathe heavily. My hands clutched into tight fists at my sides. The teen slowly looks up at me with pleading eyes through his wet chestnut hair. He looked so hurt, so sorry. My hands eased out of their tight fists, I felt bad for exploding on him.. It wasn't like I was totally angry with him for that.. No, there were other reasons behind my rage.. Conflicting reasons..

"Look, Riku.. I just.. I honestly didn't know how to tell you. I don't want you mad at me like this. But I swear I was going to tell you soon." He inches closer to me, grabbing my injured hand. The bandages soggy and slipping off.

"You didn't know, huh? How about, 'Hey, I'm fucking Kairi.'.." I snorted, running my good hand through my long, hair. I felt the grip on my hand tighten.

"Its not like that! We.. We haven't even kissed on the lips yet.." He says quietly. I looked down at him, dumbstruck.

"Riku.. Please don't be mad at me.. I'm sorry. I really am." Sora spoke sweetly, removing my ruined bandages.

I shook my head, not sure what else to say. He sort of killed my coveted rage.. As usual something is ruined for me. I move from him. I hear him whisper my name as I turned off the water and moved past him to the locker room to get dressed. It was getting really late and I wanted to get away from him. The both of us nude like this.. couldn't result in anything good. Making my way towards my belongings, I could hear him following behind me. Our wet feet making smacking sounds against the cold hard floor. Sora calls out again to me softly, but I ignore him. I slam my things around grabbing hold of my towel and quickly drying off. I roughly dried my hair with the towel lastly, while slipping on my underwear and pants. Then the tank top wore under my shirt. I didn't feel like wearing the shirt though. I then piled all my things into my bag. I turned to see him standing off to the side watching me with teary eyes. What the hell was with him?

"Stop sulking and get your stuff together." I barked at him.

"Promise me you're not mad.. " He says in a low tone.

I moved towards his still nude frame. "I'll get it for you then.." I say walking away, grabbing up his muddy gym clothes from off the shower room floor.

But as I walk back past him, he grabs my tank forcefully. My eyes widened at his sudden aggressiveness. He pushes me backwards and against some empty lockers with a loud bang. His sky blue eyes burned into mines. His knuckles turning white. Water trickled down his forehead as he glared up at me.

"Stop it Riku. Stop it. I know you're not mad anymore.. So just say you forgive me!" His voice came out shakily despite his glare.

I quirked a brow. "..If you know so much, then why do I need to say it?" I challenged the younger guy just to see how he would react.

"I..Just need to hear it. I won't forgive myself until I actually hear you say it. I never wanted to hurt you.. You're so very important to me. You've been acting so distant… I don't want to lose my best friend.. I love you.." He says so endearingly, dropping his head.

He truly touched me. I smiled, feeling any hostility towards him completely dissolve. I felt him tremble, so I held him there against me. He buried his face into my chest. Wetting my top. I didn't care. I just wanted him against me. Like old times.. Often when we were young, the only way to calm Sora was to hug him tightly. it's a secret we had. I made him swear he wouldn't tell anyone we held each other like that. That was only for us to know..

I trailed my hand up against his back to the base of his neck, giving it a light squeezing. "I forgive you."

With my injured hand, I lifted his chin. His pretty lips smiled brightly for me. So delectable.. I wanted to.. Feel them against mines. My lips burned to meet his for the first time. Shit, what was wrong with me!? My heart was pounding so hard. My eyes glued onto Sora's little lips.. And before I could catch myself.. I bent down and kissed him. Those very lips I was just thinking about! My body betrayed me so ruthlessly. I was grateful.

I closed my eyes with a small moan. His lips felt wonderful against mines. He didn't fight me. Sora kind of just stood there. Shocked I'm sure, but I couldn't tell. I opened an eye to see a wondrous sight. His eyes were closed too! He was kissing me back..

"Mmm.. Soraa.." I breathe his name, seizing his bottom lip between my teeth.

He whimpers softly. Turning me on. My hands instantly shot down to the fly of my pants, unfastening them. I was running on pure instincts. And my instincts wanted one thing.. His hands down my pants.

"Nnn, Riku! No, wait.. I.. um.." He panicked, pushing himself away from me.

"Wha.. Whats the matter? What is it?" I panted, still against the lockers with my pants now open and lips slightly reddened from the suction of our sensual kiss.

Sora continued to back away. He stood there naked in front of me. Looking quite peculiar. I gave him a sexy, sly smile after I licked my lips of course. To show how much I loved that.

"Sora its okay. It can be our secret. Just like old times." I assured him, moving closer to him; I pulled my tank top back off. Tossing it aside.

His eyes widened. I saw his manhood twitch to life. "..I don't.." He started, backing up against a neighboring wall.

"Don't be so frightened.. It's me, Riku. Remember when we were kids.." I began, pressing my body against his shaking one; pinning him. "..We had our hugging secret. Well I think its time we graduated."

Before he could reply, I had my mouth over his again. I was intoxicated over the taste of his lips. It was ecstasy. The brunette squirms softly, his mouth so soft and warm against my own. I laced my fingers between his, holding his hand tightly. My mouth trails down his neck. Tasting his body. My second hand roamed the side of his thigh. Brushing against curly hairs of his genitalia area. I feel his body quiver. His clammy free hand shot up, his fingers burying deep into my damp hair. Pulling with a loud moan. A moan equivalent to angels singing a chord of absolute harmony and joy…

I press my lips against his ear, breathing heavily. "Its okay Sora.. Baby.. I'm not confused anymore.. I understand exactly what it is I want.. What I always wanted. You. Its been you. Not Kairi.. Not power. Not to belong or fit in. Its always been you. I love you!" I laugh happily, kissing him deeply once more.

Our tongues met briefly. Yet soon I met teeth, lips then nothing.. He let my hair go, then pulled his hand from mines. I was pushed back giving him room to walk past me, with his head down. I watched his naked form bend over to collect his belongings. His erection standing firm. I just wanted to show him the emotions harboring inside me; by clutching his hard-on and making him climax loudly. Together. I wanted us to experience this together. We were virgins. Who was better suited to take that from each other than him and me?

I watched silently as he began to dress. I just stood there, topless, hoping he would at least say why he stopped us. Not until he was fully dressed in his school uniform did he look back over at me. A look of disappointment and more confusion. I didn't understand what he was thinking. I just told him what I was going through and how I felt. Christ! I poured my heart out to him in a heated passion.

"Sora, what?" I asked, trying to smile and cover the worry. I fear I made the biggest mistake of my life just now..

"Riku, I'm with Kairi now." Was his only words to me before he disappeared around the corner and out the locker room. Leaving me there alone with my thoughts.

[End Chpt]