A.N:# ForAdam # HunterDontSupportBullying
This story is to show you never know what's going on is someone's life. Bullying is never okay. Words have and can kill. Always strive to be kind.
Disclaimer! I do not own Supernatural or its characters. All credit go to the wonderful creators of Supernatural and its actors.
Monday March 9th 2015
"Move fag," Zack said, pushing Castiel into the lockers as he and is posse walked past him. Cas lost his grip on his books and they fell to the floor at his feet. He pushed his glasses back where they belonged before bending over to retrieve his books. He looked up at them with hatred, but quickly looked away when one of Zack's posse, Dean looked over his shoulder to where Cas was.
This treatment was nothing new. Ever since he arrived in this crappy town and started at this crappy school he had been bullied. Every day he was called a fag/faggot, crybaby, pathetic. The list went on but those were the main ones. He also got picked on for being so quiet and for his hand-me-down clothes.
"They are jerks," Anna said, helping him collect his books. They both straitened and she gave him her usual smile. "Don't let them get to you," She added kindly before handing him his geometry book.
"Thanks," Cas said shyly, taking the book she offered. She gave him another smile before joining her friends.
At least he had someone in this crappy school who was nice to him. With a sad sigh Cas walked from the school and started down the street. It took him about forty-five minutes to walk home every day but it was better than taking the bus where Zack would pick on him. He also enjoyed the silence and scenery. He liked taking the short cut through a bike path that went through the woods. The trees never rejected him.
Once he was home he threw his bag down on the sofa, before going to the kitchen. He checked the time on the Oven. It was three forty. He had ten minutes before he had to leave to pick up Hannah from his grandmother.
He went to the fridge and pulled out a bottled water. He drank it on his way to his mom's room. He peeked in and found her awake watching The Wedding Planner. "Hey mom," He said, walking to her and sitting on the bed. "You look good today," He said softly, giving her a smile.
"I feel good today," She replied, her smile was a sight for sore eyes. These days she spent most of her time sleeping or in pain. He loved when she smiled. It made her look young and healthy again. He could almost pretend the lung cancer didn't exist if it weren't for the oxygen tank and nasal cannula. "How was school?" she asked like she did on her good days.
Cas took his mother's hand in his own, giving it a gentle squeeze. "It was good," he lied, giving her a shrug. He didn't like to worry her over his school issues.
She chuckled, well the best she could anyway. It was more of a breathless raspy sound. "You lie," she replied. Cas just gave her a smile as he rubbed the top of her hand with his thumb.
"I need to go get Hannah from grandma, but when I get back we can watch a movie before I start dinner if you're up to It," he said after a moment of silence.
She smiled again. "Oh I would love that!" she said with as much enthusiasm as she could. "What movie shell we watch?"
"I have a gift for you," He said, standing and going to her dresser. He opened the top drawer and pulled out the movie he had put there about three weeks ago now. He had been waiting for her to have a good day to give it to her. He pushed up his glasses as he walked back to her.
She took the movie from him and the smile was accompanied with happy tears. "A Walk To Remember," She said happily. "Where did you find it?"
"Amazon," Cas replied happily. He loved when he pleased her. "I need to go, but I will hurry back," He said as he left the room.
It was only a ten minute walk to his grandmother's and like every day she had Hannah ready to go. "Hello dear," She said to him from her living room chair.
"Cassy!" Hannah exclaimed as she jumped up from her coloring book and ran to him.
"Hey princess," he said, lifting her into his arms. He looked at his grandmother, "Do you need anything before I leave grandma?"
She thought on it a moment before saying, "No I think all is well." She leaned over and pulled out her yarn and hook. "How's Livie?" she asked referring to his mom. She was his grandmother on his father's side. They moved out here so she could help take care of Hannah. She was a wonderful person and had been there even when his father wasn't.
"She's having a good day. We are going to watch a movie," he announced this like someone might announce they won the lottery.
"Oh good," she replied with a genuine smile. "Give her my love and tell her I will see her in the morning. I will pick Hannah up tomorrow since I have errands."
"I will," Cas replied. He helped Hannah pick up her mess before going to the door. He reminded his grandma that he had work the next night so he wouldn't be there to get Hannah until ten, then left. He carried Hannah so they could get home quickly.
By the end of the movie Cas was wiping tears off his cheeks. His mom had seen this movie a few years ago and loved it so she had expected Jamie to die, Cas however didn't. "Wasn't that wonderful?" she asked him with a yawn.
"Yeah," he replied. It was mostly the truth. It was a good movie, but anything with cancer and death these days always left him feeling sad and depressed. She closed her eyes and nodded her head. She didn't have to tell him that she was tired. He already knew that by the time the movie was over she would want to sleep.
"Want to help me cook dinner?" he asked Hannah in that tone you use with kids to excite them.
"Yeah!" she exclaimed. She kissed their mother on the cheek before scrambling off the bed and out the door with the energy only three year olds have.
Cas laughed as he followed behind her. She always loved helping him cook and he enjoyed it too.
The rest of the night went the way all nights went when he had a day off. They ate dinner at the dining table, watched an episode of Dragon Tales, then Cas helped Hannah with her bath and got her dressed for bed. Usually by this time it was between eight and eight-thirty and he would read her a book before tucking her in. Then he had to do homework before showering and going to bed himself. There was the rare occasion that their mom would join them for dinner but she mostly took broth and crackers in her room.
Wednesday March 11th 2015
Out of all the classes Cas had to take he hated PE the most. Not only was he not that great with a ball, but he had this class with Zack and a couple of the guy's posse and Michael, was just as much a jerk as Zach was. So as usual when he walked into the locker room to dress out Zack started on him.
"Everyone hide your junk, Fag boy is here," Zack said, howling out a laugh.
"Hey fag boy, are you going to cry in the middle of class today?" Michael said, then proceeded to pretend to cry.
"Hey guys did you see what Heather was wearing today?" Dean said, taking their attention off Cas. He hated that the guys picked on him, but was too chicken to say anything.
Cas ignored them as he did every day. Once he had his locker open he quickly changed as he thought of Dean. They had four classes together and Cas hated to admit he had a crush on the green eyed man. Dean was also nicer than his friends. Sure he never stopped his buddies from picking on him, but at least he never joined in.
"Watch where you're going fag," Zack said after Cas ran into him. They were playing basketball and Cas managed to stumble into him. He turned to walk away, but Zack grabbed his shirt. "You need to apologize fag."
"Careful Zack, you might make him cry," Michael laughed.
"Come on guys, leave him alone," Dean said, throwing the ball to Michael who didn't see it coming. The ball smacked him in the head. He turned on Dean with a growl, then ran at him with raised fist. Zack forgot about Cas as his attention went to his friends. Michael swung at Dean who quickly ducked out of the way. Before either of them got shot in, coach Larry was breaking them up.
This was normal behavior for them. By the time they got back to the locker room the incident in the gym would be far behind them. Cas rolled his eyes at them. It was hard to be in a room full of people who didn't seem to have mentally aged past the age of twelve.
To be fair, he supposed he was the one who was the freak. When his mom was diagnosed with lung cancer three years ago he had no choice but to grow up. Sure, at first things didn't change too much, but as time went on she got sicker, and now she wasn't responding to treatments.
Cas shook the thoughts from his head. There was no way he was going to cry in the middle of class again. He did it once when he first started here. His mom was in the hospital and things weren't looking good. She had insisted that he go to school and he followed her wishes. He couldn't keep the tears back and now he would never live it down. Assholes.
Dean followed the guys into the locker room and the first thing he did was find Castiel with his eyes. He was where he should be, at his locker quickly changing back into his worn clothes. He didn't let his eyes linger too long, if the guys ever knew his darkest secret his life would never be the same.
When he tuned back into Zack's and Mike's conversation he knew they were making fun of Castiel. It was their favorite thing to do, and if it wasn't Castiel it was some else.
"Hey Dean, do you think Castiel cries during sex?" Zack asked him loud enough for Castiel to hear.
Unable to stop himself Dean looked over at Castiel, who slammed his locker closed. Castiel looked up and ocean blue eyes looked into his. The connection only lasted a second but it was long enough to get Dean's blood rushing through his veins. "Why you wanna know?" Dean asked teasingly. "You wanna give it a go?"
"Ew," Zack said, disgust clear on his face. He punched Dean's shoulder as he walked past. "Come on, let's get to lunch."
Lunch was uneventful and as usual Dean was late to their art class. Cas watched out of the corner of his eyes as Dean took his seat next to him. They had assigned seating in this class so Dean had no choice but to share a table with him. There were supposed to be three to their table, but Lucy was often absent.
Their teacher, Ms. Shay clapped her hands together as she did at the beginning of every class to get their attention. "Good afternoon my artist," She said in her usual cheerful tone. "As you all know we spent last week studying the human face, learning techniques on proportions and shading. "This week we will be working on portraits. Look to the person next to you, they are your subject." She paused for a moment as they all looked around. "Those who have not turned in their abstract project, you have until tomorrow before I start taking off points for it being late." There were a few people who groaned. "You've had two weeks people." She said as she started handing out the paper they needed to use for their portraits.
Chatter started to fill the room as they got their paper and started pulling out their art supplies. Cas wished he could disappear. How was he supposed to draw Dean Winchester?
"Here," Dean said to him as he placed the paper in front of him. Cas looked up and was surprised to see the warm smile Dean was giving him. Even though they have been sitting next to each other for months, they had never really spoken to each other.
"Thanks," Cas said, looking away and praying Dean didn't see him blush.
"Hey ah, I'm sorry about Zack and them. I don't know why they have to pick on you like that," Dean said in a rush. He shifted in his seat as if he were uncomfortable.
Cas looked over at him with shock. Did Dean just apologize for those ass hats? "It's whatever," Cas replied with a shrug. He really didn't know what else to say. It's not like the others were sorry for their actions.
"So how do you want wanna do this?" Dean asked.
He looked at Cas like he was actually interested in an answer but Cas wasn't sure what Dean meant. "How do I want to do what?" Cas asked, his voice cracked a little. He'd never had a conversation with Dean before. He cleared his throat as he waited for Dean's responds.
Dean chuckled a little. It was a deep pleasant sound that made Cas give him a small smile. "The portrait? You want to start or do you want me to start?"
Cas shrugged. "Why don't we both do it at the same time?" He suggested. He'd never drawn a person before and he wasn't sure he could.
"I have always found it easier to draw when my subject isn't moving," Dean replied. "How about I come to your place later today? I can draw you then. Than we can get together again so you can do me," He said, rubbing the back of his head. Okay so saying "do me" gave him images he didn't need, but secretly welcomed.
Cas couldn't believe what he was hearing. Did Dean just voluntarily agree to hang out with him, twice? "Um, well today isn't good because I have to work until ten, but tomorrow is okay." He said, hoping this wasn't some kind of mean joke.
"Awesome," Dean replied with a smile. They sat in awkward silence before Dean asked, "So where do you work?"
"I work with my uncle Raphael. He owns the Unique Furniture and Décor off Timberland Drive," Cas replied with a shrug. He needed something to do with his hands so he settled with fiddling with the hem of his shirt.
"Cool. What do you do?" Dean asked. He had been wanting to talk to Castiel like this since he first arrived, but never found the opportunity. It didn't help that the people he hung out with bullied him.
"I mostly cut the wood my uncle needs to make the furniture and stuff. I like to watch him make the stuff. The guy is amazing. I mean his partners are good too, but I like my uncle's style," Cas replied.
"Do you ever make anything?" Dean asked curiously. He liked the way Castiel blushed and looked away.
"No, I'm not artistic," He replied, still looking down at his hands. He looked up when Dean chuckled. "What's funny?" Cas asked. Was Dean picking on him? He looked away before Dean could answer.
"I have seen your art Cas. You are more artistic than you think," Dean replied. He hoped it was okay that he called him Cas. Again Cas blushed. Dean's stomach fluttered. He liked when Cas blushed.
Cas looked up at him when Dean called him Cas. Only his mother ever called him that. He liked the name coming off Dean's lips. "Thanks," was all Cas said, because it was the only thing he could think to say. "You're better than I could ever be," he added truthfully. Dean was a wonderful artist. His drawing of calla lilies was simply amazing. Even better because it just so happened that Cas' favorite flower was calla lilies.
Dean shrugged it off like it was nothing. "Lots of practice," he replied.
The smile that Dean gave Cas reached his beautiful green eyes and made Cas' heart squeeze. Dean was everything he wanted but could never have. No one in his family even knew he was gay. Hell, even Zack and his Posse didn't really know he was Gay, it was just something they assumed because he spent a lot of time with Chris, who they did know was gay. Chris moved away about a month ago and Cas missed him. School was lonely without him. Anyway, he'd had his eye on Dean since he'd first arrived. He had bumped into the guy when he was late for class that first day and it was instant attraction. At least on his part.
Cas jumped when the bell rang. How had it been forty-five minutes? "I will see you tomorrow?" Cas said with uncertainty. Sure he would see him at school, but he was asking about after. Though it occurred to him Dean may not know that he meant after school.
"Yeah, see you tomorrow," Dean replied as he stood. He paused at the door and looked back to Cas as he put his things into his book bag. He really wished he could be friends with the guy. He felt like he didn't have to lie to Cas to be accepted. If his friends knew the truth about him they would laugh in his face and he would be in the same boat as Cas.
"Dean!" Zack Called from the door a little ways down. "What's the hold up?" He asked, throwing his arm around Mike's shoulder. Dean walked over to them, bumping Uriel's and Alastair's fists. "So party, my house, this Friday," Zack announced. "Rents are going to be away for the weekend."
Dean could almost feel that Cas was walking by and confirmed this when he looked over his shoulder to the dark haired boy. Man, there was something about those blue eyes that met his for just a second that drove him crazy.
"Hey faggot, why don't you go to an all-boys school. Bet you could get all the dick you want than," Michael said to him.
Dean's heart fell the way it always did when they started in on Cas. Which was, sadly, every day. He wanted to tell them to back off and leave Cas alone, but he couldn't. He couldn't put himself in that situation and for that he truly hated himself. He watched as Cas walked past them with a look of sadness that he tried to hide.
Cas ignored them the way he always did. He tried to keep up his usual mask of uncaring on his face and hoped it did what he wanted it to. He hoped that if they thought this didn't bother him, then they would eventually stop.
"Hey, I was talking to you!" Michael snapped when Cas didn't give him the response he wanted. He grabbed at Cas and threw him against the locker, grabbing him by the caller of his tan shirt. "I was talking to you crybaby," He spat.
Cas looked him in the eye. "Fuck you," He replied as the anger built in him. He was so tired of this. He did nothing to these people. Why couldn't they just leave him be?
Michael drew his fist back, then threw it forward where it met Cas' cheekbone, knocking his glasses off his face. Cas was shocked that Michael hit him; things had never been physical before. He had to blink a couple times for his vision to come back to normal. "Don't ever talk to me like that, fag," Michael said, before a teacher Cas didn't recognize broke them apart and demanded to know what was going on. Cas didn't speak as they were escorted to the dean's office. Yeah this was what he needed, a referral for getting into a fight that he had no choice but to be in. He put his now broken glasses on his face and thanked god he had an extra pair.
By the time they got out of the dean's office school was over and he was running behind. Thankfully, because of his clean record, he had gotten off with a warning. Michael, however, had to go to detention the next day. He and his posse were most likely going to blame this on him. It was just another reason for them to hate him. Great.
His uncle was already waiting on him when he got home and grumbled to him about making them both late, and that if it happened again he would have to find his own way to work. He went on to say that he needed to be more responsible, he was seventeen after all and would be graduating next year.
Work was the same as always, long and tiring, and by the time he was dropped off at his grandmother's and got Hannah home, fed and in bed, he was exhausted. He, however, had homework to do and if he hoped for any kind of future, he needed to keep his grades up.
He hated that he had to work, but with his mom sick he had to work. Sure, her disability helped and they had help with her medical expenses, but her money alone wasn't enough. So he had to work to help keep food on their table.
At least his mother was asleep when he arrived home. Hannah had wondered what happened to his face, but with her, he could tell her he ran into a tree and she would believe him. His mom, on the other hand, will know someone hit him and he knew she would worry. At least for tonight she could rest well.
With a sigh he pulled out it trigonometry book and got to work. He hoped it wouldn't take long. He would like to get some sleep.
Thursday March 12th 2015
"Nice shiner faggot," Zack said to him. It really sucked that their lockers were so close.
Cas ignored him as he opened up his locker to grab his books for the remaining classes. He wore sunglasses this morning so his mom didn't notice it. Thank god, because he was not looking forward to that conversation. His stomach was also in knots about Dean coming to his place later. Well, if it actually happened anyway.
He was nervous because Dean came from money. Well kind of. Dean wasn't super rich, but his dad was well off with his mechanic shop and all. So they had more money in a week than Cas saw in a month.
"Why don't you bug off," Anna said from her locker.
They all laughed. "I would say that it's pathetic that your girlfriend has to protect you, but we all know you like dick," Uriel teased. "Maybe that makes it even more pathetic."
"Have you guys seen that new movie? The one with that hot blond chick?" Dean asked them, desperately trying to avert their attention. It worked as they all started naming off random blonds they thought were hot. As they all walked away, Dean looked over his shoulder at Cas who looked awful. Between the hurt on his face and the shiner Cas looked broken and that made Dean sick to his stomach. How could he sit back and watch this crap happen? Oh right, he was afraid to be where Cas was. He didn't know how the bullied dealt with the bully's.
Cas finished getting his books from his locker and looked over to where Dean was watching him. Their eyes met for a moment before Cas turned his back to Dean. He hated that he crushed on Dean. He really did.
"You got my boy in trouble," Zack said, cornering Cas in the locker room shower. He usually didn't shower but today they were outside and it was hot, so a lot of them hit the showers.
Cas' heart beat hard in his chest as Zack's posse cornered him. He was naked with the exception of the towel around his hips. He eyed is clothes that were in his bag on the hook closest to him. For some reason he noticed Dean wasn't there and that somehow made this easier. He waited for them to get it over with. Whatever it was.
"I'm talking to you faggot!" Zack said, pushing Cas into the shower wall. Cas stumbled a little on the wet tile but was relieved he was able to keep his balance.
"Leave me alone please," Cas mumbled. He wanted this to stop and couldn't understand why they chose him to bully. Was he really that much of a freak?
"Aw," Raphael said. "He wants to be left alone." He snickered at Cas, the others joining in.
"You think after you getting Mike into trouble we are going to let you be?" Zack scoffed. "We are going to make your life a living hell, Fag." Zack said, before nailing him in the stomach with his fist.
To Cas' relief coach Larry showed up, scattering the guys like he was a predator and they were the pray. "What's going on here?" He asked with authority.
"Nothing coach," they all said in harmony as the fled the showers.
Coach Larry gave Cas questioning eyes, but he just shrugged and said that nothing was going on. He gathered his things and went to his locker, thankful that the coach showed. There was no telling what those ass hats would have done to him.
Dean waited impatiently at their table in art class. He saw the guys go in the showers shortly after Cas and he knew what they planned to do. He made an excuse as to why he couldn't join them and the moment they were out of sight he went to the coach and told him he heard fighting in the showers.
Oh god what if he was too late? Would they really do what they said they were going to? Of course they would, when they got together they were too stupid to think straight. His stomach ached with fear, was he too late?
The relief that fled through Dean when Cas walked into the room was tangible. Cas looked a little pale, but overall he seemed untouched. Oh thank god. Cas took his seat next to him slowly, almost looking like he wished he could sit anywhere but there. "Hey," Dean said so quietly it was almost a whisper.
Cas wasn't sure what to do. He wanted to tell Dean to go screw himself, but he liked talking to Dean, even if it was only a few minutes a day. What was wrong with him? "Hi," He said, his gruff voice deeper than usual. He cleared his throat and pushed his glasses up his nose.
Dean struggled for something to say as the late bell rang. He watched as Cas avoided looking at him. Cas' eyes followed Ms. Shay as she walked around the room going on about the watching the lighting on the subject. You had to make sure when you did the shading you pick a point of light.
"We still getting together after school?" Dean asked hopefully. He was really looking forward to spending time with Cas. He had already made up a lie to his friends. He could see Cas swallow.
Cas looked at Dean unsure what to say. Should he really be mad at Dean for not standing up for him? It wasn't like they were friends or anything. Dean owed him nothing and it wasn't Dean doing the bullying. Though he really did wish Dean wouldn't let them. However, Cas could understand that if Dean stood up to his friends he could be in the same boat that he was in.
"Sure," Cas replied after a moment. It wasn't like it would hurt his reputation to be seen with Dean. "Do you want to get started here? Then we can finish up at my house. That way you don't have to stay too long," He suggested. He didn't want to make Dean uncomfortable for longer than needed.
"I really don't mind," Dean replied. "If I didn't want to, I wouldn't have suggested it in the first place." Dean's knee bumped into Cas' and he knew he should move it, but he didn't want to. If he had it his way a hell of a lot more than their knees would touch.
Cas flashed a little as he looked away. Did Dean not realize that they were touching? Cas thought about moving but any contact with Dean was welcome. Again he was surprised that Dean genuinely seemed to want to go to his house after school. "I walk home," Cas said to him. Not that it really mattered how he got home. "It takes about forty-five minutes, then I have to get my little sister from my grandmother's. So you should come at four. I should be home and settled by then."
"Or I could give you a ride," Dean suggested, then wished he hadn't. As much as he wanted to be with Cas, he didn't want his friends knowing about it. They would never understand.
Cas saw Dean flinch and it didn't take a genius to figure out the problem. Dean didn't want to be seen with him. "No, that's okay. I like the walk," Cas said, giving Dean a small smile.
Dean nodded his response as he wondered if Cas ever truly smiled. Sure his lips curled up at the corners with what you could call a smile, but it wasn't a true one. It looked like it was put there by force instead of pleasure. Dean looked away with his next thought. Did his home life suck as much as his school life? Was life unfair to him in all aspects?
"So you have a sister?" Dean asked. He wanted to know as much about Cas as he could.
"Yeah, Hannah. She's three," Cas replied. "Do you have siblings?" Cas asked in return. He had always wondered if Dean was an only child. Actually there was a lot Cas wondered about Dean.
"I have a little brother, Sam. I call him Sammy even though he hates it. He's thirteen," Dean replied, glowing like a proud parent. "How about your parents? They going to be home?" Dean asked.
Cas looked sadder than usual as he looked down at his hands. "My dad's a deadbeat. He has never really been around." Cas shrugged like it didn't matter. "My mom's great though. She more than makes up for my dad being gone."
Dean was confused. If Cas was truly okay with his dad being absent, why did he look so upset? He didn't know what to say next. He wanted to pry and find out what had Cas upset, but at the same time he wanted to let Cas have his privacy.
They were quiet for the rest of the class. Cas watched as Dean doodled in his sketch book. He had no idea what Dean was attempting to draw, but he didn't want to ask either. Dean's tongue stuck out as he concentrated and Cas thought it was so cute.
He also didn't understand why they couldn't draw each other here, but he didn't argue it. He just didn't see the point in it. It wasn't like he had plans or anything.
Once the bell rang they all filed out of the room as usual and Cas made his way to his locker. He only had English homework tonight so he didn't have to carry all his books home.
When he opened his locker he found a folded piece of paper. He read it before crumbling it up. Why don't you just die already? No one wants you. The paper read. He didn't have wonder who it was from. He could hear snickers from behind him.
"That's good advice isn't it?" Zack asked and his posse laughed.
Oh yeah it was just soooo funny, Cas thought as he shoved his books into his locker. It was just freaking hilarious. He slammed his locker shut and quickly walked away. This time he didn't bother to see if Dean was there, he didn't want to know.
Hannah Sniffled all the way home and it worried Cas. Grandma couldn't handle sick Hannah which meant he would either have to find a babysitter or miss a couple days of school. Either way he couldn't miss work. They needed the money. That was also the problem with a babysitter, they cost money.
"I 'm hungry," Hannah said, giving his hand a light squeeze.
"How about mac and cheese? I can make you some when we get home," Cas said, squeezing her hand back.
"Yeah!" she exclaimed, looking up at him with a huge grin. She started humming a happy tune Cas didn't recognize. It wasn't a surprise though, she had all these shows she watched while she was with grandma.
By the time Cas had finished making the mac and cheese their doorbell rang. Hannah looked up at him in surprise. They rarely had visitors and he didn't tell her about Dean. He still hadn't believed that Dean was going to show. Cas looked at the time on the oven, it was three fifty-nine.
"One moment!" He called out. Cas placed Hannah's plate in front of her, then went to the door. He looked through the peep hole and was honestly surprised to see Dean standing on the other side. Cas opened the door and the smile that spread onto Dean's face nearly took Cas' breath away.
"You came," Cas said, his shock clear in his voice. He stepped aside and waved Dean in.
Dean looked around as he entered. The house was smaller than he was used to and a bit more cluttered, but it was homey and it suited Cas. "So where do you want to do this?" Dean asked, pointing to his sketch book as he did so.
Before Cas could reply Hannah ran to him from the dining room. She hid behind his legs, holding one of them close to her as she peaked around him to Dean.
Dean laughed. "You must be Hannah?" He asked her. She didn't reply and Dean laughed again.
"We're not used to company," Cas said. He pick Hannah up and brought her back to her food. Dean followed him into the dining room. "Is in here good?" Cas asked as he put Hannah in her chair. "I can't leave Hannah by herself."
"Yeah this is great," Dean said, sitting down in a chair. He opened his sketch book and pulled out the paper they were supposed to use for this assignment.
Cas didn't sit. He was too busy watching Dean. He seemed so out of place here. What would Dean's friends think of him if they knew he had come here?
"You gonna sit?" Dean asked, a smile still on his gorgeous face.
"Yeah," Cas replied, feeling a little flushed. He hadn't meant to stare. He took a seat across from Dean.
There was nothing but silence as Dean started to draw on his paper. Occasionally Hannah would ask a question, or tell them about what she saw on TV. She informed them that she wanted the movie Frozen for her birthday. She often made Dean chuckle and Cas really loved the sound.
After a while Dean stopped and looked up at Cas with sad eyes. "That note, the one in your locker. It's not true you know. You are wanted," he said randomly, before getting back to work.
Cas looked down at the table. What was he supposed to say to that? Outside of his family he wasn't really wanted. Hell only his mother and sister really wanted him. Well he supposed his grandmother should be added to that list. His uncle could care less though. The only reason uncle Raphael gave Cas the job was because Cas' grandma made him. He supposed no matter how old you get you listen to your mother.
Cas looked over at Hannah who was coloring in one of her books. She was always so content doing whatever she could do. "Hannah would you go check on mom?"
"Yep," She said, putting down the red crayon she was using. Cas had checked on her earlier when they had gotten home. She was having one of her bad sleepy days.
"Your mom's here?" Dean asked. He had thought they were alone in the house. Well with the exception of Hannah.
"Yeah," Cas replied. He sighed heavily. "She's got lung cancer," He added because he could see the question in Dean's eyes.
"Oh," Dean said softly. "I'm sorry to hear that man."
"Yeah, me too," Cas said. He gave Dean another one of his forced smiles. "Anyway. How are we doing?" Cas asked, changing the subject.
Dean looked at Cas and wished he knew what to say. There was a lot of times Dean wished he knew what to say to make Cas feel better. "I'm almost finished," Dean said, putting his attention back on his work. So Cas' home life was sucky too and that made Dean sick to his stomach. He didn't want Cas hurting.
"Cassy I made you something," Hannah said, returning after being away for a while. She handed Cas a piece of paper. "It's me, you and mama," She said, pointing them out on paper.
Dean watched as a real smile spread on his face, and he inhaled slowly. If he had thought Cas was gorgeous before, it was nothing compared to the way he looked with a true smile on his lips.
"I see that," Cas said, taking Hannah into his arms.
"I love you Cassy," She said, resting her head on his shoulder.
Dean had to smile at this. He had a similar relationship with Sammy. To him family was everything so it warmed him that Cas was close with his sister.
"I'm done," Dean announced after a few more minutes. Cas watched as Dean smiled at his work. "It's not perfect, but it'll do," He said, holding it up for Cas to see.
Cas' mouth popped open. "Are you joking? That's amazing!" Cas said, reaching for the paper. It looked just like him and the shading seemed professional. "Thanks for leaving out the shiner."
Cas looked over at Dean and was surprised to see that he was blushing a little. "Yeah, it's nothing really," Dean said, rubbing the back of his head. As for the shiner, Dean couldn't stand to see the bruising on Cas' face and he planned to keep this picture.
"Well I can promise you that mine will look nothing like you," Cas replied, giving Dean another real smile. "This is simply amazing."
Dean watched Cas as he looked at the picture. Cas' approval meant more to him than he ever thought it could. Not to mention that damn smile that seemed to make his heart flutter. "I'm sure you will do just fine."
Cas looked over at the time on the oven and couldn't believe that it was already eight. "Time flies," Cas mumbled.
Dean looked over at the clock too and raised his eyebrows. "Sure does. You want to come to my place tomorrow? You could draw me there."
"I work tomorrow and I would have to bring Hannah." as if on cue Hannah stirred in his lap with a cough. "And I think she is getting sick," Cas added. He stood, holding her close. "I need to feed her and get her to bed. It's already her bed time."
"Okay," Dean said as he stood. He put the picture into in sketch books and packed his pencils away. He hesitated for a moment. "The day after tomorrow, my house. Hannah is welcome." With that Dean left, leaving Cas to wonder why the hell he was so insistent on hanging out.
Saturday March 14th 2015
"Where are you going anyway?" Cas' mom asked, giving his a small smile. Cas sat on her bed, giving her hand a squeeze.
"I'm going to Dean's house so I can draw him. It's for art class," Cas said, giving her a smile. He was super nervous about going, but he didn't want to not show.
"Is that the boy who was here the other day? Your sister seemed to like him a lot," She said.
"Is there anything I can get you before we leave?" Cas asked her. She wasn't looking to well, but she had already insisted he go.
"No, no," She replied with a smile. "You go and have fun. I will see you when you get back," She added. Hannah got onto the bed at that point and hugged her mom close. Cas kissed his mom's forehead before picking up Hannah.
"We should be home by eight," Cas said before leaving the room. He closed the door quietly behind him, hoping she felt better later. Maybe they could have dinner together.
"You ready Hannah? Cas asked her. She gave him a smile that told him she was already reeling better then she was yesterday.
"Yeah," She replied. She slipped on her boots and they were on their way.
Walking up to Dean's house was like stepping into another universe. Okay so their how wasn't like Hampton's huge, but it was pretty big. The lawn was super green and had a garden bed. The house was so white it looked like it was painted yesterday. It was two stories high and had a wraparound porch. Or at least it looked like it wrapped around.
"Wow," Hannah whispered from beside him. "So pretty," she added as they made their way up the porch steps.
Cas didn't have the opportunity to knock before the front door opened. A small gangly kid stepped out, with a smile on his thin face. "Oh, you're not Jess," The boy said with a smile. "I'm Sam," He added holding out his hand. Cas took it as he asked, "So who are you?"
"Oh, I'm Castiel. I'm supposed to meet Dean here," Cas replied.
"Sammy, who is it?" Dean called from inside the house.
"It's Sam!" Sam grumbled back, then added, "Some guy named Castiel and a little girl."
Dean appeared at the door. He was wearing a blue plaid shirt and ripped faded jeans. His hair looked as if he didn't bother to brush it. He wore his cocky smile as he invited them inside.
The inside was just as nice as the outside. It was classy but comfortable. Dean led them in into a room that had a fireplace, sofas and a table that sat two. "We can do it here," he said, taking a seat at the small table.
Cas removed his book bag and gave Hannah her dolls. He watched her for a moment as she sat on the floor next to the table. Again he was thankful that she was easily occupied. He pulled out the paper and pencils next and placed them on the table.
Dean watched as Cas set up his things. He thought for sure that Cas would look out of place here but it somehow seemed right. He gave Cas a smile when he looked up at him. Cas seemed unsure when he put his pencil to the paper, but he seemed to get into it after a minute.
"Dean, your mom and I are leaving. Money for take-out is on the kitchen table," his dad paused when he saw Cas.
"Who is this honey?" Dean's mom asked. She walked up to Cas and held out her hand. "I'm Mary," She introduced herself. "That's John," She added, using her eye to indicate who she was talking about.
"Castiel," Cas replied, taking her hand. He looked at John and gave him a nod.
"Well, he his polite unlike your other friends," She said to Dean, patting his shoulder. "We will be back by ten. Sam is waiting for Jess so make sure you order enough food to feed all of you."
"Yeah okay," Dean replied as his parents walked from the room. He looked over at Cas who had already gotten back to work. "What did you do yesterday?" Dean asked, trying to strike up a conversation.
Cas shrugged. "Went to school. Went to work. Went home," He replied. There really wasn't much to say and he really wasn't used to sharing his day.
"Anything exciting happen?" Dean asked, hoping to get more out of him. He really wanted to know everything he could about this blue eyed boy.
"Well, at school I got bullied like I do every day and at work I'm usually alone. No use trying to chat over the sound of the saw," Cas said, without looking up from his work.
Dean looked down feeling ashamed. Yeah he supposed nothing at school was ever fun for Cas. Not that he ever helped matters. He didn't know what to say after this so he just stayed quite.
"How was last night's party," Cas asked after a while. He recalled Zack saying something about his parents being out of town.
"I wouldn't know. I didn't go," Dean replied. The way Cas looked at him made him chuckle. "Why does that surprise you?"
Cas looked at Dean for a moment longer before answering, "I guess I assumed you guys were a unit. If one goes you all go."
Dean chucked. "Well I have been to a lot of his parties, enough to know they are all the same. Drinking, dancing, someone gets laid," Dean shrugged. "I went to Sam's debate club's contest thing. He wants to be a lawyer you know. My mom couldn't be happier," Dean beamed.
"What about you? What do you want to do? Cas asked. He was surprised that Dean would rather watch a debate than go to a party, but he let it go.
It was Dean's turn to shrug. "I don't know. I mean I can turn a car inside out and put it back together again. My dad wants to pass his shop on to me when the time comes, but he says it's up to me. I'm not sure I want to be a mechanic, but I have no idea what else I could possibly be. I'm not as smart as my brother."
Cas cocked his head to the side. "You could be anything you put your mind to. You're smarter than you think you are," Cas replied. "You just have to assert yourself."
Dean looked away and Cas could have sworn he saw blush on his cheeks. He shook his head. No, that wasn't possible because Dean wasn't gay.
There was some more small talk as Cas continued to draw and soon he was done. It didn't take as long because Cas wasn't nearly as artistic as Dean. However Cas had to admit he did a pretty good job. "It's not as good as yours, but it's not bad either," he said to Dean.
Dean got up and walked around the table to Cas. He leaned over him to look at the picture. One hand resting on the table, the other on the back of the chair. "Yeah you did good, and I can help you make it better if you would like," Dean said, so close to Cas he could feel Dean's breath on the side of his face.
Cas pushed his glasses up. He was tongue tied for a moment so he just looked at the picture until his voice came back. "You want to work on it?" Cas asked.
Dean chuckled. "I meant I could instruct you. Nothing really needs changed, you did great. Just some shading here and there."
Cas nodded and Dean got to work. Apparently shading was an amazing thing. With Dean's help the portrait looked better and better and Cas was actually proud of it. He had never been able to draw a person before. Sure this was no masterpiece, but he still liked it.
"There," Dean said, still super close to Cas. "See you did awesome," He added with a smile.
"Well, Hannah and I should get going then," Cas said, starting to put his stuff into his bag.
"Why don't you stay for dinner, then I can give you guys a ride. My baby has to be a lot better than a bus," Dean suggested. He wasn't ready for Cas to leave. He wasn't sure he would ever be ready for that and that was a problem.
"Your baby?" Cas asked. Did he really call his car baby?
"Yeah my car. Shut up! I know it's weird, but I have worked on her so many times. When it got totaled a year ago I thought she was done for, but she came back," Dean chuckled nervously, while he rubbed the back of his head.
Cas gave him another genuine smile. "Okay," he said. There wasn't much else to say on the subject. He looked over as Sam walked into the room.
"Hey Dean we are starved," Sam said, walking into the room with Jess on his hand.
"Who's that?" She asked, pointing over at Cas.
"I'm Castiel and this is my sister Hannah," Cas said in introduction.
"I was thinking chinese?" Sam asked. It was really up to Dean what they ate.
"You guys cool with that?" Dean asked Cas.
"Sure. It's been years since I have had Chinese." Cas replied. He was glad no one asked why. He supposed that Sam probably didn't care, and Dean maybe had already put it together.
Cas had fun while eating dinner. Sam and Jess were both vary animated in their story telling and they kept everyone laughing. Hannah joined in with her own little stories. It was nice that she was socializing. He couldn't wait for her to start school so she could have friends. Sure she was happy with what she had, but Cas knew she was missing out on things.
"There's a playset outside, can we take Hannah out?" Jess asked, as she stood from the table.
"I wanna play!" Hannah said excitedly. "Please Cassy?" She plead, popping out her bottom lip.
Cas laughed at her. It felt funny to laugh so truthfully. "Yeah I guess," Cas replied her. He watched as they left the dining room. Sam and Jess were once again hand in hand.
"How long have they been together?" Cas asked Dean. He took another bite of his bourbon chicken.
"Officially? For about four months. They've been inseparable since they were in diapers though," Dean said with a grin. He watched Cas eat for a moment. He loved the sound of Cas' laugh, though he only truly heard it once.
As they were packing away the leftovers and taking care of the trash the doorbell rang. "I've got it!" Sam called out.
"I thought he was outside?" Cas said as he placed a container in Dean's fridge.
Dean shrugged. "Bathroom break?" Dean said with a smile.
"Sup D, what's…" Zack walked into the kitchen and the moment he saw Cas he paused and the confusion on his face was almost laughable.
Dean froze where he was. Oh shit, what was he going to do? The rest of the guys filed in behind Zack. "What's with the…" Mike started to say, then stopped when he saw Cas.
Cas froze too. He was in the middle of throwing away some trash. He moved his eyes to where Dean stood, completely shocked. Apparently he hadn't thought this would happen.
Zack cleared his throat. "I didn't realize that you guys have hired help," Zack said, going to the only conclusion that was acceptable.
Cas looked over at Dean, his heart pounding in his chest. Zack gave Dean an out and Cas knew that Dean was going to go with it. There was no way he would tell his buddies that he invited Cas here or even worse asked him to stay for dinner.
"Yeah, you know. I hate cleaning," Dean said, feeling horrible. He couldn't even get himself to look at Cas.
Zack snorted. "Well fag boy is a good choice." Zack looked over to Cas. "Maybe now you can buy yourself a new personality," He said with a laugh. The others joined in. "Add some new clothes while you're at it."
Cas didn't know if Dean was laughing too and he didn't want to know. He felt hurt and hot all over. He had never been so humiliated outside of school before. To make everything worse, he was still holding trash in his hands.
Cas walked slowly to the trash can and threw away his load. His mouth felt dry and he was shaky with anger. He couldn't believe that Dean would do this to him. Then he felt stupid for ever thinking that Dean would stick up for him. Whatever he did he swore he would not cry. Though to be honest, the tears were threatening to flow.
Luckily the table was clean so Cas could just grab Hannah and leave. He went to leave, but the guys were blocking his way out. "Doesn't he need to pay you?" Zack asked, his arms crossed over his chest.
"Yeah," Dean said, pulling his wallet out. He crossed the room and put the money in Cas' hand. He felt sick with guilt and he hoped Cas could forgive him, though his hopes weren't high. What he was doing was plain awful.
"Dude, you touch it!" Mike exclaimed, making fake puking sounds.
Cas pushed through the wall of guys. He needed to get out of here. He grabbed is bag from the room with the fireplace before going to the back door. He was thankful he'd already put Hannah's dolls away. He called for Hannah, who wasn't ready to leave. All the while the guys were watching and snickering.
"I don't want to leave yet Cassy!" Hannah cried.
"Yeah Cassy, this place is a palace compared to yours," Uriel said with laughter.
"What is this? Bring your kid to work day?" Alastair added, receiving fist bumps from Zack.
Cas didn't reply as he picked her up, trying to sooth her. He practically ran from the house then. He could hear the guys yelling things at him, but he didn't care to know what they were saying. Assholes, the whole lot of them.
Cas walked angrily all the way to the bus stop before he realized he missed the damn thing because Dean was supposed to give him a ride home. Now angry tears fell down his face. He hated them so much and he hated himself for not being likable. He hated his life and if it wasn't for his mom and sister he would end this. He was nothing more than a gay pathetic crybaby.
"Don't cry Cassy," Hannah said, pulling on his face so she could give him a kiss. Cas held her closer as his tears got heavier. He sat down on the bench with her and held onto her because his life did depend on it. It was sad that he needed his little sister this way, but it didn't change the fact.
Hannah played with his hair as he cried it out. It was something he did to her when she was sad. It didn't take long for him to get himself back under control. They had a long walk ahead of them.
He sniffed and wiped the tears away. He looked at Hannah and hated how sad she looked. "I'm okay princess," He said, giving her a smile. He didn't want her sad.
"We missed the bus, so we have a long walk ahead of us," He told her, taking her hand. It would take them about two hours to get there and she was going to be really tired by the time they got home. Not to mention it was going to be past eight so his mom was going to worry.
"My feet hurt," Hannah complained after about a half hour. Cas picked her up into his arms. Thankfully she really wasn't heavy.
When they came up to Cas' school he never thought he would be so happy to see it. This meant they only had a little longer to go. He was just past the school when a car stopped behind him. It was dark and the headlights shone into his eyes so he couldn't see who it was. Whoever it was got out of the car.
"Cas!" Dean's voice called out, as he made his way toward them.
Cas stood there in disbelief and anger. He couldn't believe that Dean actually thought he would want to see him after what happened. "Fuck off," Cas replied, anger seemed to fill every ounce of him and he felt hot all over again. He started to stalk off away from Dean.
Dean ran after him. "Come one at least let me give you a ride home," Dean said, walking slightly behind Cas.
"No!" Cas shouted. He hated Dean right now and he wasn't sure he would ever get over this. He stopped and spun around to face Dean. Dean stopped in his tracks. "You know I thought you were different. I thought that you were better than them, but I guess that was just wishful thinking because I liked you. Because I thought you were attractive and I wanted the guy I crushed on to be a decent guy. I guess this is what happens when you see what you want to see instead of what's in front of you!" Cas said in a raised voice. He couldn't believe he had just told Dean all that, but what the hell would it matter anyway?
"Cassy don't yell," Hannah said, placing her hands over her ears.
Dean closed his eyes as he licked his lips. His heart squeezed. Cas crushed on him? God what had he done? He felt like the biggest asshole in all the world. "Cas, I'm so sorry," he said, his voice braking. "You're right, I'm an ass, and I don't deserve your affections. Just let me take you home and we can pretend like we never talked."
"No Dean," Cas said. "I never want anything from you." With that Cas walked away and Dean let him. Cas was confused on what Dean meant by 'I don't deserve your affections.' Did that mean he wanted them? Cas shook his head. Of course that's not what Dean meant. He wasn't gay.
Dean got back into his car and banged his hand on the staring wheel. He really messed up this time and now he would never get back on Cas' good side and that thought just broke his heart.
Hannah was asleep by the time they got home and Cas' muscles ached from carrying her. He put her in bed before going to check on his mother. He stretched before opening the door to her room. "Mom?" He asked.
There was no response, but he could hear her wheezing. He turned on the light, his heart dropping. She was barely breathing. He went to her quickly, making sure none of her tubes were kinked. They weren't.
He picked up the phone with a shaky hand and called nine-one-one. How long had she been laying here unable to breath? "Nine-one-one, what's your emergency?" the operator asked.
Cas gave her his name and address before saying, "I need an ambulance, my mom can't breathe."
Cas stood when the doctor walked into the waiting room. It was now three in the morning and Cas hadn't heard anything for hours. "How is she?" he asked, bracing himself for the worst and praying for the best.
"She has a collapsed lung and she has pneumonia. There's also some fluid build-up and it looks like the cancer has spread some." Dr. Oakley rubbed his forehead. He had been with this patient from the beginning and things weren't getting better for her. "I have to be honest with you Castiel, things aren't looking good."
Cas took a deep breath in as the tears stung at his eyes. He had been waiting for this, expecting this every time she ended up in the hospital. Expecting it so it didn't hurt so bad, but it didn't work. This hurt so much he wasn't sure what to do with it. "How…" He cleared his throat. "How much time do you give her?" He asked, the tears escaping his eyes.
"I don't think she is leaving this hospital. The liquid build up and the collapsed lung we could treat fine, but with the pneumonia and how bad it is?" He didn't say any more. He knew that Castiel was well aware of what all this meant. He paid attention and learned what he needed to care for his mother. Most boys his age wouldn't have wanted to bother with it.
"Okay," Cas said, mostly to himself. He wiped at the tears on his face and was glad the doctor gave him a minute to compose himself.
"Can we see her?" Cas asked. He looked over at Hannah who was laid out on two chairs.
"Of course," Dr. Oakley replied. He waved Cas to follow him, waiting for him to gather up Hannah.
Cas watched his mother from the door for a moment before going in. She somehow looked smaller and paler then before. She looked at him and gave him a smile from behind her mask. "Hey," She said breathlessly.
"Hey," Cas said, laying Hannah on the bed next to his mom. "How you feeling?" he asked. It was a loaded question, but it was something you did when someone was sick.
"I feel like a million bucks now that you're here," She said, then coughed a little. It didn't sound good at all.
"That's probably the drugs talking," Cas joked, trying to keep things light. He was sure she knew she was near her end, but he would be damned if he let her be sad.
She patted the bed on the opposite side from where Hannah was laying. Cas sat and she reached up to rest her hand on his cheek. He covered her hand with his. "Don't be sad Cas," She said, then paused to breath. "You are an amazing person and I'm proud to call you my son."
The tears started again. This was feeling like a goodbye and he wasn't ready. He nodded at her because he couldn't find his breath.
"Don't cry," She said giving him a smile. "I get to go someplace where pain doesn't exists. A place where I get to watch you grow and get married. Maybe adopt some babies."
Cas looked at her with surprise. "Adopt?" he asked her. He had never told her he was gay. It just never seemed to come up and he wasn't sure how she would feel about it.
"Did you honestly think I didn't know? You're my son. I know everything." She paused again to catch her breath. She moved her hand from his face, but held his hand as tight as she could. "I know you better than you think. I know you're bullied," She squeezed his hand. "Don't let them get you down. You are better than all of them put together and I love you for every part of you."
"I love you too mom," Cas replied, kissing her hand. He loved her so much.
Monday March 16th 2015
Dean sat in his second period class and wondered where Cas was. This was the first class of the day he had with Cas. He waited, expecting him to show up late, but he never did.
"Did you guys notice that Fag boy isn't here today? Maybe he finally got lost," Zack joked at lunch.
Dean bit into his sandwich with anger. He was sick of the way they treated Cas and sick of being a part of this group. He just didn't know what to do about it. This group of guys had been his friends forever.
"Yeah, he's probably at home crying," Mike added in. Like the idiots they are they all made fake crying faces.
"Hey Dean you okay?" Uriel asked.
At first Dean didn't understand why Uriel asked, but he realized that he was crushing his empty soda can. "Yeah I'm fine," Dean said. He let go of the can. "I will catch up with you guys later. I need to see my teacher about getting my grades up," Dean lied as he stood. He really just needed to get away from them before he did something stupid.
Friday March 20th 2015
"I'm hungry," Hannah said. She had been getting antsy spending so much time here.
Cas looked at the time and decided it was close to dinner time. "Okay, what do you say about McDonalds?" he asked.
She jumped up with excitement as she said, "Yeah!"
Cas had to smile at her. It wasn't often he was able to treat her, but he still had the money Dean had given him and he figured he might as well use it. He wasn't giving it back. Not after what Dean did. Besides, Hannah could use the play time.
"Mom, we will be back. I'm going to take Hannah to get dinner," He said. He took her hand like he always did as he spoke. He was terrified to leave without saying goodbye because she could be gone when he got back.
"Oh…Kay," She said. She was getting bad and the doctor said it was anytime now. Hannah climbed onto the bed and hugged her. He wondered if Hannah would remember their mother and decided she would because he would be sure to talk about her as often as he could. His mother was worth knowing.
Cas kissed his mom's cheek. "I love you, mom," He said. Giving her a smile. "I will see you later," He added, hoping it was true.
"Love you mama!" Hannah said, also kissing her cheek.
"Love…you…guys…too," She replied slowly. Cas went to move but she squeezed his hand. Well sort of. "Take…care…of…each…other," She took a couple struggled breathes. "I'm…so…tired."
Cas covered her up and kissed her cheek again. "Don't worry mom. I will always take care of her. Get some rest," They walked to the door and Cas just knew. He just knew this was it! This was the last time he would ever hear her voice. "We love you mom."
They stayed at McDonalds for a hour before Cas had to insist to Hannah they needed to return. She fought him a little but in the end he won. They walked quickly back and when they arrived their mom was sleeping.
An hour later grandma showed up to take Hannah for the night. She stayed for a bit, showing her sorrow. Castiel often forgot how much his grandma liked his mother and it warmed him to know.
"You sure you don't want to come? You haven't had a good rest for days," grandma asked on her way out.
"No, I need to be here. I don't want my mom to die alone," He replied, giving her a hug. She gave him a smile before leaving with Hannah.
Cas looked back to his mom. The doctor came in a few minutes after they returned to inform him she would most likely be gone tonight. She had a seizure while they were gone, causing her to slip into a coma. She wasn't breathing well and the infection in her lungs was spreading. She had also signed a DNR (do not resuscitate) and asked not to be put on extensive machines. When it was her time she wanted to go.
Cas sat down next to her and took her hand. He watched her for a little bit and pretended she was sleeping. He was glad Hannah was gone for the night. He didn't want her to have the memory of watching their mom die. He didn't want it either but he couldn't let her die alone.
A nurse came in and injected something into her IV. "It's morphine. We want to keep her as comfortable as possible."
Cas thanked her as she left the room and looked back to his mother. He swallowed before speaking. "I'm not sure you can hear me. They say that you might so if you can, just listen," He had to swallow again as he held back the tears. "I know you're worried for us, but we will be okay." He gave her hand a squeeze. "I will take care of Hannah and tell her of you whenever I can, so you don't have to worry about her forgetting you," again Cas swallowed, as he wiped at the escaping tears. "We will miss you mom, but you can let go. You don't need to suffer any longer."
Cas rested his head on the bed and when her machine started to beep a little while later he didn't have to look up to know what was going on. She was gone. He knew that nurses came in but he didn't move. He stayed there, holding his mother's hand, while he cried for her.
Monday March 23 2015
Cas slowly walked into school Monday morning. He was currently staying with his grandmother who insisted they needed some kind of normalcy so she sent him off to school. Tomorrow morning they would have the small funeral. He wiped at his red eyes and knew he was going to hear it from Zach and his posse and hated them for it.
He went to his locker, walking right past them. He could see Dean watching him out of the corner of his eye, but he didn't bother to look back. He would never forgive Dean. Never.
Cas opened his locker and a few pieces of paper fell from it. He pushed up his glasses not bothering to pick them up and read them. He couldn't, however, stop from seeing a few words. Fag, crybaby, die.
"Aw look Zack, it looks like crybaby's been crying," Michael said as he pointed at Cas.
Anna looked over her shoulder and sighed. Would these guys ever give it up? "Why don't you guys find something better to do?" She said to them as she walked over to Cas. He did look like he had been crying. "You okay?" She asked him, eyeing the paper at his feet. She gave them a nasty look as she caught a few of the words on the papers.
"I'm fine," Cas said, closing his locker. "I need to get to class," He said walking away from her.
Dean watched as Cas walked away and his heart hurt. Cas had been crying and he feared it was more than what happened Saturday. He had been worried that Cas was gone all last week but it wasn't until now that he considered the idea that something might have gone horribly wrong with his mother.
As Cas walked into second period he was ambushed by Dean. "You okay?" He asked him the moment he walked in. Cas looked around a noticed that as usual the other students were still outside.
"Careful Dean. You could be seen with me," Cas replied anyway. He didn't want to do this right now. He was in no mood to deal with Dean.
Dean grabbed at his arm, stopping him from walking away. "Cas please. Is it…Did something happen to your mom?" He asked. Cas closed his eyes and looked away as fresh tears slide down in face. Dean's heart dropped as he let Cas go. Before he knew what he was doing he was holding Cas close in a tight hug. "I'm so sorry." he said, before pulling away just in time. The late bell rang and the others started pouring in.
Cas walked into the locker rooms feeling sick. This really was the worst period of the day. He was almost to his locker when Zack and Michael grabbed him, dragging him to the showers. He struggled to get away, but he couldn't. They pushed him into a shower, Cas slipping on the wet tile, and turned the water on, getting him soaked.
"You gonna cry, crybaby?" Michael teased while the others laughed.
"We thought for sure you were dead when you didn't show up last week. Too bad," Zack added.
Cas closed his eyes and cursed the tears that slid down his face. He was so done with this crap. He might as well do what they want. Who would really miss him anyway? His mom was dead, Hannah would be too little to remember him. He closed his eyes as he considered the idea. His mother did say the afterlife was a peaceful place where you didn't hurt and he was so tired of hurting.
"What the hell is that matter with you people?" Dean snapped as he walked in. This was it, he was finished doing nothing. He went to Cas, turning off the water before helping him up off the floor. "You okay?" he asked him.
Cas' eyes popped open the moment Dean had spoken. Was Dean seriously sticking up for him? But why now?
"What the hell are you doing?" Zack spat at Dean.
"This has to end Zack. You guys have had your fun, now leave him be!" Dean snapped. He looked at Cas who was looking back at him with wide eyes.
"You're defending the crybaby?" Michael asked in a shocked tone.
"How's your mother Mike?" Dean asked, throwing him off his game. Mike looked at him with confusion. "Cas' mother died within the last few days. You guys mean to tell be you wouldn't cry if your mother died?"
All the guys looked perplexed at this. "Yeah, well that doesn't excuse him being a fag," Zack said, trying to excuse their behaver.
Dean couldn't believe he did it, but he grabbed Cas' face and planted a kiss on his lips. Dean's heart pounded in his chest when Cas returned the kiss. He wasn't sure how long it lasted before they pulled away, but kissing Cas was the best feeling. Dean looked into the faces of his shocked friends. Well, probably ex friends now. "You never truly know someone in this place. I'm gay and I have been your friend your entire life! Does that change the way you feel about me? Does that mean you guys will now make fun of me too? " Dean said to them. His voice raising as the anger flowed through him. "Why does it matter if he is gay? Why does it matter if sometimes he cries? Why does it matter where he buys his clothes? You guy know nothing about him or his life so how can you judge him? I bet if you were in his shoes you guys wouldn't be able to hand it. You should be ashamed. I know I am," He took Cas' hand and led him to the door.
"Your mom really died?" Uriel asked before they could leave.
"Yeah, she had lung cancer," Cas replied dryly.
Uriel scratched his head. "I'm sorry man. That really sucks," He said, feeling like the biggest jerk ever. He had never considered something like that before.
Cas turned and left without another word. He didn't know how to respond to that anyway.
Cas and Dean didn't really talk much during the class and neither did Zack and his posse. They seemed too dumbstruck as well, but Cas was sure they would be back on their game tomorrow.
Cas, on the other hand, was trying to decide if he should forgive Dean or not. On the one hand Dean had really hurt him and he was still smarting from it. On the other hand, Dean did do a brave thing. It was hard to stand up to your friends. Not to mention that Dean did it for him.
Cas looked over to Dean who was busy trying to hit the ball. He supposed he could forgive Dean. Maybe now they could be real friends. Maybe even more than that if that kiss meant anything. Man, he hopped it did because kissing Dean was heaven.
After they dressed back in, Dean waited for Cas. "I'm sorry about that kiss," Dean said shyly, though he wasn't truly sorry.
"I can't believe you stood up to them for me," Cas replied. He wasn't sorry about the kiss.
"I'm sorry I didn't do it sooner. You never deserved what they gave you," Dean replied. He really truly did.
"I don't think what you did is going to change the way they treat me," Cas confessed. What Dean did was only going to get himself bullied.
They walked in silence for a moment before Dean grabbed Cas' hand. "At least now you don't have to do it alone," Dean replied. "I mean, if you don't want too," he added sheepishly.
Cas gave Dean's hand a light squeeze. "I would like that very much," he said, and for the first time in forever he felt like he would truly be okay. He didn't know what the future would bring. He didn't know if what Dean did would change anything. What he did know was Dean did a brave thing standing up to his friends like that. What he did know was that with Dean by his side he wouldn't be alone. What he did know was that Dean probably saved his life today, and for that he would be forever grateful.
I hope you have all enjoyed. Reviews and Comments are appreciated. Thanks :D