Hi, this is Polar with his very first FANFICTION.

Now since this is a parody, and therefore I will be poking fun of, satirizing and out right mocking Romance Fics, I have no doubt in my mind that this is going to offend someone. Therefore, I have taken the precaution of putting in various WARNINGS, I advice you to read them first.

WARNINGS; I will be making fun of things I love: The Straw Hat Pirates,

Things I Hate: Ship to Ship combat,

Other series and their respectful FANBASES: Naruto, Kingdom Hearts, etc,

Things I would criticise but fear doing myself: Making characters Too OOC,

Things I try to avoid reading: BAD FANFICS,

Things I accept but extremely rarely read: YAOI,

And most of all: Myself.

Also as title suggests, Parody or Not, this is a LuNa pairing story (which basically means this story is most likely going to mainly centre around them) so despite being a fan of it, they will likely be the most tormented characters in the fic.

3D2Y

Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece. That honour goes to Eiichiro Oda.

Thank you Shadowonthewall6 for your instructions for uploading this story who apparently got it from Foxchika17 who got it from Yukoneechan who got it from Yasaonnachan.

Now then, let my first fan fiction BEGIN!

Prologue

It was a worm, peaceful day in the New World. The sun was shining, the clouds were fluffy looking, the waves were calm, the wind was still. The Thousand Sunny Go was having a particularly easy time sailing the vast ocean without a single natural catastrophe in sight.

Sunny's Captain, Monkey D Luffy, was currently on the figure head, staring ahead, waiting for the next island to come into view. Sanji was rechecking the food stock to plan lunch. Nami and Robin were in the Woman's quarters, discussing about a few books they recently gotten into reading. Franky was in his work shop, preparing a new invention, with Brook sitting and entertaining him as he worked. Zoro was leaning on the main mass taking his afternoon nap with his trusty swords at his side. And lastly, Ussop and Chopper were sitting at the side of the ship, fishing for whatever species that happen to bite their bait.

In short, it was a pretty dull day.

"You know," Ussop started, finely breaking the silence. "Not that I'm complaining, but the New World isn't as ridiculously dangerous than it was said to be.

"Yeah," Chopper agreed. "But we haven't gotten to the New World in the actual Manga and the author doesn't seem to want to just make something up.

"Ooh, that makes sense…wheat, you mean this isn't Conan?" Ussop stared at Copper confused.

Chopper thought for a moment, then looked at Ussop. "Nope."

"And this isn't apart of the Anime, is it?" Ussop asked again, with rising worry.

Chopper began to look worried as well and now sweating he answered, "I guess not."

"Then that means…OH NO!" Ussop squeaked as he leaned his head on his left hand.

"That's right!" I exclaimed. "Your apart of my fan fiction."

"WHO ARE YOU!" Both Ussop and Chopper screamed at voice in the sky.

"I'm the Author and Narrator of this, soon to be, compelling story." I answered proudly.

"Well, at least we can voice our complaints with this one." Chopper Commented positively.

"Don't worry Chopper, this may be my first fan fic but I assure you, I'm better than all those whose other losers out there."

"Oh really?" Ussop said, not convinced, "And what genre is this, action, adventure, comedy, OH PLEASE DON'T SAY IT'S HORROR!"

"Don't insult me!" I snorted, "Like I would Wright about those boring genre's."

Ussop and Chopper sighed in relief.

"It's Romance!" I announced.

Ussop and Chopper looked up, "THAAAAAATS EEEEEVEEEEN WOOOOORSE!" They screamed in absolute horror.

"HIS IS TERRIBLE!" Ussop shouted, "WE HAVE TO WORN EVERYONE!"

"ZORO!"

"STOP YELLING CHOPPER!" Zoro bellowed after being woken up from all the yelling, "What is it?"

"I-it's a-a emergency!" Chopper replied

"What could be so important that you had to wake me up from my nap?" Zoro asked, closing his eye to try and go back to sleep.

"WE HAVE ANOTHER FANFICTION ON OUR HANDS!" Ussop answered loudly.

"And." Zoro said uninterested.

"AND, THE GENRE IS ROMANCE! Ussop clarified, emphasising ROMANCE.

Zoro's eye shot open as wide as it could, "….That is a emergency!"

Zoro was instantly to his feet, "Gather the crew, tell them to meet up here and let them know what's happening!" He ordered in a serious and commanding tone.

"What about you?"

"I'll go worn the Captain."

XXXXXXX

The whole Straw Hat Crew were now outside, each one taking the situation with different expressions ranging from stoicism to worry.

I must of been making a good impression.

Luffy stepped forward, "I'm Monkey D Luffy, nice to meet you." He greeted.

"I'm the Narrator, the honour is mine."

"Well, I guess he's a guy." Nami commented in a whisper.

"A guy trying to do a Romance story." Ussop added "That means he is a really girly guy or dangerous psychopath who escaped from a asylum."

"Maybe he's writing a porn story, that would make more sense." Franky suggested.

"Or maybe he is a sick homosexual trying to force one of us on to each other." Sanji said rage building at the thought of him with a male.

"Oh my, the anticipation is killing me!" Brook lamented, "Though I happen to already be dead Yoohomhm!" Brook joked but as he began to laugh, Robin kept him quiet with the hands she sprouted on him.

"Perhaps he is just a simple male trying to express himself in a more intermit way." Robin suggested.

Nami looked at her sceptically, "I half expected you to say something morbid." Nami retorted and Robin just shrugged.

"I can hear you all you know!" I interrupted them.

"Hey!" Luffy yelled, "Leave my Nakama out of this!"

"Oh don't worry." I answered deviously, "I'm only interested in YOU and one other MEMBER of your crew."

"Really, who?" Luffy asked as the rest of his nakama backed away slowly from a certain crew member, much to the Navigator's rising horror and the cooks rage.

"Nami of coarse!" I answered.

Luffy and Nami looked at each other in the eyes, as the wind softly blew through their hair and it was as if in that moment, they both began to think as one. "Figures!" They sighed as they lowered their heads in a depressed manner.

"Why you!" Sanji yelled as he stepped forward, "How dare you force my Nami-Swan to that shit-for-brains of a captain!" Sanji bellowed ignoring Nami's angry exclaim of "I don't belong to any one!"

"I'm not forcing them, I'm getting this obvious cute couple to be together!" I defended loudly, "I can already hear the wedding bells ringing as 'The Future Pirate King and Queen' stand at the alter, Luffy in a suit and a red long coat hanging from his shoulders and Nami with a gorgeous wedding dress and a tiara, as the newly weds kiss each other passionately and..." I continue to fantasise, ignoring Luffy's angry exclaim of "I'm not Marrying anyone!"

As the crew listened to my fantasy, their reactions varied a little but the best one was definitely Nami's sudden red cheeks.

Sanji on the other hand, "What gives you the right to say they will marry!" Sanji sieved, just about ready to burst into frames.

"Because, I'm the Narrator." I answered very proudly, as if that needed to be explained.

"Not if I have anything to say about it!" Sanji burst into flames of pure passion and rage, and then tried to attack but clumsily slipped off of Sunny.

"Impressive dart braw!" Zoro commented on load enough for Sanji to hear.

"Shut up murimo!" Sanji yelled back.

"Be careful everyone." Robins warning got their attention, "As the Narrator, he can manipulate the coarse of the story, the actions we make and possible even the things we may say, think or feel." Robin explained causing the crew to get even more worried.

"No I can't." I denied

"I presume that's why Sanji inexplicitly slipped in such a humiliating manner." She explained further ignoring me.

After explaining herself, Robin got the urge to excuse herself, get a sea-stone collar, two handkerchiefs and a lot of rope. She then proceeded to go to the Woman's Quarters, secure the sea-stone collar around her slender neck, stuff her luscious mouth with the first handkerchief and tied the second handkerchief over her mouth and nose. She then tied her ankles with one set of rope and above and below her knees with two other sets of rope together and preventing her legs from separating and hidden under her ankle length also got another piece of rope and tied it to her sea-stone collar. She tied the other end to her bed, preventing herself from leaving it. She then made a small set of handcuffs out of rope and tied it to another piece of rope. She tied the other end around her ankle bindings. She began to then to make a larger set of a handcuff like figure and slide it in her arms from behind herself, try to pull her arms apart and trapping them as the rope tightened around them. Lastly, she reached for the handcuffs she made earlier, took it, and slid her hands in the openings, one at a time, before trying to separate them, trapping them as well. Her lovely, slender and beautiful body was trapped in a tight and secure hog-tie, bound to her bed by the rope tied around her caller and unable to say anything but cute inaudible muffled sounds. She now struggles, testing the ropes, trying to call for help to see the effectiveness of gag, feeling the uncanny flutter of her heart beat as she realizes just how helpless she is in her self-bondage. She kept struggling, contempt to keep doing so until she ever breaks free or someone comes to rescue her.

"No I don't." Robin said in a calm, yet dangerous voice as she completely ignored my whole paragraph?

"Oh come on," I complained, "Do you have any idea how long it took me to write that?"

"I do." she answered flatly, "But I am not going to put myself in such a humiliating situation for both your amusement and to get me out of the way and preventing me from helping my nakama."

"Man, this guy could possible be a bigger pervert than me!" Franky commented in amazement.

"Ai." Brook agreed, "I'm getting a nose bleed just thinking about Robin-san inflicting such a helpless predicament upon herself, though I shouldn't have any blood to bleed in the first place YOHOHOHOHO!

"Don't worry Robin-Chwan!," Sanji announced in his love-love state. "If you are captured by this shitty narrator, I will personally see to it that you are rescued, free, and safe within my arms!" He said this as he imagined himself as a heroic prince on a white horse, riding towards the captured Princess Robin from the evil dragon Narrator. He defeated the Dragon swiftly with the power of love and Princess Robin began to kiss Sanji in a long passionate embrace filled with love.

You wouldn't see me clogging up a story in author appeal.

Robin however, once again got the sudden urge to excuse herself and..."

"Zoro-San," Robin called from beside him, "May I sleep with you tonight, in the crows nest, with the door locked and with no binding equipment?"

"If you have to and as long as you don't disturb my nap." Zoro answered.

"OH COME ON!" I exclaimed.

"Seeing how he's definitely Pairing you two," Zoro started, now talking to Luffy and Nami who had gotten over their depressive state, "You should extra careful, there's no telling what this guy is capable of."

"Right." They both said, determination in Luffy's and Nami's eyes.

And with that said, Zoro persuaded Robin to private part of the ship where he proceeded to...

"No!" Zoro said with a dangerous expression.

"AAAAAHHHHH FINE" I whined in defeat, "But you haven't seen the last of ME!"

"WHAT, you mean your coming back?" Chopper asked frightful.

"OFF COARSE!" I answered in a load boastful voice, "This is only the Prologue, I will write this story to the very end, no matter how long it takes!"

As I write this last part, the crew began to really understand just what they were in for.

Luffy and Nami once again look at each other in the eyes, while Nami looked at him worriedly, Luffy looked back with a reassuring smile, to tell that it will be okay. (That absolutely must mean that they are in LOOOVE!)

Despite the possible danger, Luffy found himself with a wide smile, somehow knowing an adventure was on the horizon.

TO BE CONTINUED

See what I mean by undoubtedly offending someone.

By the way, that bit about Robin, is that ONE BIG paragraph or multiple swished together?

Just so where clear, the Narrator is ME.

Reviews, Advise and Criticism would be appreciated.

I'm Polar and I hope you have enjoyed this, Later.