Understanding Temperance

What has Brennan been hiding from Booth all these years? What will he do when the person he thought he knew best turns out to be someone completely different? Can he cope with her past?

Disclaimer – I don't own Bones, but I wish I did

Note – so I'm new and would like pretty much any feedback, whether you think its crap and I should go far far away or whether its readable and not as corny as I made it sound in the summary.

Booth glanced over at the alarm clock, its glaring red numbers imprinting into his eyelids the time: 3:27am. Groggily his fingers fumbled to find the nightstand, knocking over the lamp that resided there in the process, with a thud his phone joined the lamp on the floor.

Who the hell calls at this time? Who the hell is awake? Booth questioned. Bones supplied that little irritable voice that plagued him daily about his feelings towards Bones

"Bones, why are you calling at such a god-forsaken hour?"

Her next words made him leap out of bed and throw on the nearest clothes. He bolted to the hall where his shoes lay haphazardly strewn over the floor, hopping as he attempted to put on a sock whilst searching for his shoes.

"Shit" he swore out loud, "where's my other shoe?"

Finally locating the offending object, Booth grabbed a jacket to brace himself against the falling snow. Her words ran over and over in his mindthe sheer desperation and pain in her voice made him want to strangle whoever had broken her so much that she sobbed his name over the phone. He replayed the conversation, albeit one-sided conversation over in his mind.

"Booth" came her sobbing voice, normally so confident and self-assured

"What happened Bones? I'll be right there."

She hadn't answered just repeated his name over and over. Don't worry Bones I'm coming, I won't letting anything hurt you, I'll protect you. God he would kill the bastard that had hurt her.

Racing down the deserted roads, Booth turned on the sirens for effect, as he ran a red light. Pulling up to her apartment building in record time, he decided that the elevators were taking too damn long. Glancing around he located the stairwell, pushing his weight against the heavy door he bolted up the stairs going two at a time, until he landed outside of her apartment door, slightly out of breath, his heart pounding more for fear of what he would find behind the door, then from his minor workout.

Emptying his pockets he spotted her key, he fumbled to open the door, frowning when he realised that the dead bolt was undone. He had always told her to keep it on; god knows what kind of creep could break in like that and hurt his bones.

Shit did I just call her mine? Where the hell was Bones?

Noticing the shattered porcelain and glass in her kitchen, his heart rate picked up considerably, running through his mine all the horrific things that could have happened to Bones. Drawing his gun he silently padded down the hallway into the living room, the place was clear.

"Bones?"

Receiving no answer but quiet sobs, he frowned when he saw her, worry etched all over his face as she glance up at him, tears threatening to join the ones that have already tracked their way down her face.

"Bones, what happened? You had me worried."

Internally, Booth felt himself relax as he realised she hadn't been attacked, but it still didn't explain why there was broken glass strewn over the floor, and why the Temperance Brennan looked so broken. Rushing to her side he noticed blood on her hands as she rocked herself, her hands clasping her knees.

"Bones, it's alright, I'm here what happened?" His question was greeted by silence, he gently climbed into the bed with her wrapping his arms round her, muttering soothing sounds, what the hell had happened?

"Promise me you won't leave me Booth, promise me?" Brennan grabbed at his arm, her piercing eyes were a pale blue, a colour which Booth had only seen once, when she had had to identify the remains of her mother. Gods what had happen to her?

"I promise, I won't ever leave you. Okay?" He kissed her forehead to reassure her, it seemed to have worked as she rested her head against his shoulder, sleep soon took her away. Booth untangled her from his arms, and lay her down to sleep, she turned and mumbled something incoherent and then she was peeling back once sleepy eyelid to glance at him. Her voice was raw from all the crying, and her eyelids were puffy but Booth couldn't think of anyone more beautiful than her, than his Bones in this moment. Reaching his hand out to cup her face, she bestowed upon him a small smile, placing her tiny hand on his she pulled him down to her face with surprising strength.

"Please stay with me tonight" she requested. Booth thought he wouldn't be able to leave if he tried. Lying down next to her he put a protective hand around her waist as she snuggled against him. He inhaled deeply as the smell of her shampoo wafted into his nostrils; pulling her tighter to him.

Brennan woke to find something weighing down her entire midsection, following the arm to its owner she recognised that it was Booth. Crap we didn't sleep together did weShe was conflicted she reasoned that she should be grateful that it was Booth who had shared her bed, at least she knew him, but the logical rational part of her said that she had crossed that invisible line with her partner. Her problems were just that, her problems. She instantly regretted calling him last night. But the events that led to that phone call soon overwhelmed her; she forgot where she was as she struggled to breathe, the memories, threatening to choke her. Her body thrashed as she remembered their innocent faces, her laughing, and kissing them, her babies, the ones that those bastards had taken away, she remembered arriving at the crime scene so numb that she couldn't comprehend who would have wanted to kill her family.

Booth had a rude awakening, he felt the warm body in his arms thrash against him, orientating himself he saw the cinnamon coloured hair and last night's events came tumbling back to him. He placed his arms around her, but it was no use she just kept fighting him, as though he was an unknown assailant.

"Hey…hey Bones, it's Booth, your okay, you're in your own house. Just relax, Bones, breathe for me baby." Crap Booth thought did I just call her baby? It had gone unnoticed by her as she collected herself.

"Booth, I'm so sorry I just…" her voice died out as she mumbled the last few words

Placing his hand under her chin, he titled her head to make her look at him

"It's okay, just tell me what's wrong, okay?" The pain that was evident in her eyes made him want to grab her and kiss her until she forgot, but for now that would be a foolish move.

Brennan saw the concern that was evident in his eyes. She hated that she was so vulnerable right now, he could ask her anything, how she felt about him and she couldn't lie, she just felt so exposed. But she knew him; he wouldn't take advantage of her. What she hated more was the fact that now her problems would inevitably become his as well. He was like that taking on everyone else's problems, hers and Parker's. God he doesn't need me to burden him too.But the concern that was etched in those chocolate coloured balls enticed her to mouth the words

"I don't know where to start."

"At the beginning would be nice."Cracking a smirk at her to ease the situation, he reached his hand out to hold her small one in his.

"How about you go grab a shower, and I'll make breakfast, then we can talk. It'll give you some time to think."

Brennan nodded vigorously and headed to the bathroom, she felt like crap. Glancing into the mirror she saw puffy eyelids glance back at her. These past two weeks had been wreaking havoc on her life, she knew she had to offer Booth and explanation for her behaviour, but once he knew, he might just shut her out forever, and she need him there, even if he didn't know what she was going through he was there, her rock. Come on Brennan, suck it up he needs to know. What are you going to do when he comes by one day unannounced and sees you playing house? Plucking up the courage to walk out the bathroom door and tell the one man she trusted the truth was going to kill her, but she owed it to him.