!Case Closed One Shot
The Dumbest Detective Ever!
Rinnng, Rinnng, Rinnng, Rin……..
Me: Hello?
Inspector McGwire: Hello Haley!
Me: oh, inspector McGwire wuz up?
Inspector McGwire: We have a case to be solved and if ur not busy u could come down and give us a hand.
Me: That depends who else is coming?
Inspector McGwire: Well Richard and Jimmy, why?
Me: Oh just curious that's all.
Inspector McGwire: So will u or not?
Me: Yeah sure, why not.
Inspector McGwire: Great!
Me: Um…so where exactly is it anyway?
Inspector McGwire: Don't u watch the news?
Me: Uh..No not really.
Inspector McGwire: Its down Partridge Road, 2 houses to the right.
Me: Ok got it, I'll be right there, later!
Inspector McGwire: But… (Beep Beep Beep) I didn't give her the directions, oh well.
Oh yeah a case to solve yes. Jimmy's going to be there too and I cant wait to see the look on his face when and how I solve this case. He'll probley be mad at me for a while but oh well its worth it. Ok time to go, now Partridge Road is ……I forgot to ask for directions oh man. Oh well I think its this way……no that's a dead end then this way…..no I came from that way.. oh where is it? Oh there it is, oh yeah who's smart.
Me: Sorry I'm late somebody forgot to give me directions but anyway I'm here. Oh hey Jimmy long time no see!
Jimmy: Haley, what r u doing here?
Me: I was invited duh! Anyway lets get on with the case so where's the body at?
Richard: Right over there!
Me: Eww, ok wow. So it looks like she was stabbed to death.
Jimmy: Then where's the murder weapon?
Me: That is an excellent question but would the murderer leave the murder weapon behide lets think!
Jimmy: No but there's no stab marks.
Me: oh then she was shot!
Jimmy: There again there's no bullet hole.
Me: Then she was pushed off the second floor railing.
Jimmy: Well duh the railings broken u moron.
Me: Duh Jimmy, anyway where's the suspects?
Richard: There's Mark the gardener, Beth the librarian, Jake the chief, Dan her husband, Jill her sister, and Jeff her brother.
Me: Ok so where r they?
Richard: There on there way here.
Me: oh, wait by car?
Richard: No there out back behind the house.
Me: Oh.
Richard: Here they come now.
Me: Ok Mr. Chief dude where were u on the night of the murder?
Mark the Chief (Suspect 1): I was on my way home.
Me: Likely story, ok Gardener dude where were u?
Mark the Gardener (Suspect 2): I was outside in the shed.
Me: Getting a weapon maybe?
Mark the Gardener: no to get my tools to cut the weeds.
Me: Yeah sure. Ok what about u Jill were u jealous of ur sister?
Jill the Sister (Suspect 3): No I would never kill her and why would I be jealous?
Me: Whatever, u the librarian what about u?
Beth the Librarian (Suspect 4): I would never do such a thing and I was in my library which is down stairs not up.
Me: Right!! Then that leaves the husband and the bro, what of u?
Dan the Husband (Suspect 5): I was just getting home at the time and that's when I saw her so I called the police.
Jeff the Brother (Suspect 6): And I was with my girlfriend, Rosalina.
Me: Good for u!!
Jimmy: R u trying to say they're all guilty?
Me: Why would I think that, were u?
Jimmy: No!
Me: Ok then. This could take a while, u wouldn't happen to have spare rooms would u?
Bob the Butler (Suspect 7): Yes we do I'm the butler. But I'm afraid there's only 3 rooms so 2 of u will have to share a room.
Me and Jimmy: Great!!
Bob the Butler: I'll show u to ur rooms. This one will be the inspectors and that one will be for Richard. As for u to ur's is right here and yes there r two beds, good night.
Me: Well that's good. Ok this ones mine.
Jimmy: Fine.
Me: Fine, good night!!
Jimmy : Night!
!Morning!
Jill: AHHHHHHHHH!!!
Me: What is it? OMG!!
Jimmy: The librarian's……
Me: Dead!! But why would she hang her self?
Jimmy: Maybe she didn't hang her self.
Me: True, well that rules her out of the suspect list, oh well. Can somebody get her down?
Mark the Gardener: I will, Jeff call the police!
Jeff the Brother: Right!
Me: Ok so one of u here wants to get rid of most of these people or all of them. I just have one thing to ask, why people in ur right minds would kill ur family?
Jimmy: oh yeah that'll draw out the killer.
Me: Fine don't answer me. Its time to point out the killer anyway.
Inspector McGwire: U kno who it is?
Jimmy: No she doesn't.
Me: Yeah I do?
Jimmy: Then who is it?
Me: It is…….the potato guy.
Jimmy: But there is no potato guy.
Me: oh, then it is the milk man.
Jimmy: There's no milk man.
Me: Ok it was Barney the purple Dino.
Jimmy: U r really stupid aren't u?
Me: Shut up I don't see u trying to guess who it is.
Jimmy: It's the….
Me: No this is my case and it is Larry the cable guy.
Jimmy: He's in a movie!
Me: Lookie Mr. smarty pants I'm solving this case not u. Anyway it is…..rinnng, rinnng, rinnng, hold on for a sec. Hello? Oh hey Jesse I'm kinda in the middle of something so I'll call…..OMG he did? I didn't think he would do that, wow. So did he break up with her? Lord! Ok I'll see ya bye! So where was I? Oh I am so sorry about that he tends to call at the worst of times. Anyway as I was saying the killer is…
Jimmy: Oh come on its not like ur going to get it right.
Me: Yes I will. It was either the Gardener, Cook, the Sister, the Brother, or the Husband.
Jimmy: Well duh.
Me: The notes of truth always prevails and it was u, wasn't it Mark the Gardener?
Mark the Gardener: No.
Me: Ok….Jill?
Jill: No it wasn't.
Me: Then it was the cook!
Jake the Cook: Hell no!
Me: Ok….
Jimmy: U r so slow,. Just because they say they didn't do it doesn't mean they didn't.
Me: Jimmy r u mad at me?
Jimmy: What do u think?
Me: Well in that case the notes of truth always prevails and it was…u Jeff.
Everyone: No way!!!
Me: Oh but yes way. He played it all kool going to the phone to call the police. But that was 30 minutes ago, they would have been here by now. He killed is sister and the librarian.
Inspector McGwire: But why her?
Me: He killed is sister cause she had everything and gave him nothing in return. As for Beth she over heard him talking on the phone to one his buddies about this and that's what lead to her death.
Jimmy: How did u kno?
Me: I figured it out by the way he wasn't sad about either one of them so I stayed up last night to follow him that's when I heard everything. Oh and my friend Jesse is a cop so he's on his way here with his squad. I gave him a text message last night to call me later.
Jill the Sister: but why Jeff?
Jeff the Brother: Cause sis never cared about anyone or anything but money, she deserved to die. And Beth couldn't keep her big mouth shut she never could so I had to get rid of her.
Jesse: Sorry were late.
Me: Hey Jess its that dude right there.
Jesse: Alright ur going down town with us pale. Well looks like my jobs done here so I'll just go, see ya later Haley.
Me: Later Jess.
!10 Minutes After!
Inspector McGwire: Well done u solved another one.
Jimmy: What, u mean this wasn't ur first time?
Me: Nope, oh and I knew who the killer was the whole time.
Jimmy: ……….What?!!!
Me: I just wanted to annoy u. Later I hoped u enjoyed the show.
Jimmy: HALEY!!!!!
Me: Hahahahahaha!