I thought this up while writing a part of Intervention. At first it seemed
just something for Jamie to say then I thought "Golly gee, wouldn't a story
just concerning that be just as much fun as having the poor kid say it? Oh!
I smell pudding!" After having my pudding I decided it was a good idea and
so I set about to write a tale about traumatizing children.
Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men, or any related thingamabobs.
Once Repressed
Jamie Madrox AKA Multiple or in the comic Multiple MAN, awoke suddenly. According to his alarm clock it was 2:12, but the sinister being could not be trusted for its several early goings off. What had caused him to awaken, he wondered. The mystery was solved moments later. "Oh man, I have to take a shit," whenever Jamie was alone he was given to swearing as he was whipped repeatedly with towels whenever he swore in the presence of anyone who thought it inappropriate for someone of his minor age to use such wordage. So down the hall he went searching for a bathroom. Searching, because the professor was liable to turn a bathroom into a game room as he saw fit, and build new bathrooms in strange places. Such as in the middle of the kitchen. Finally Jamie found what he sought and after using the bathroom to its purpose he returned to his room, hoping in his absence it had not been turned into a billiards room. Then Jamie heard something. It sounded like the professors wheel chair, but save looking for a potential bathroom victim, what would the professor be doing at this hour? Jamie took it upon himself to find out and hid in a conveniently placed towel closet. For some reason he heard Justin Timberlake's 'Cry Me a River' playing and, *gasp* could it be? The professor was singing along! GOOD GOD! Jamie peered through the crack in the door and watched in horror as Xavier went by singing along to JT in a wheel chair decorated with yellow flowers and other vibrant colored ribbons, and worst of all.. in a dress! Holy Lord. So shocked was the boy that he passed out and was only jarred awake by Kitty screaming because Amara had reached the bathroom before she did, once again. Jamie's neck hurt like a bitch from having slept against a wall. Also his brain hurt from having seen what he had seen the night before. Maybe I should tell the others, he thought, but would they believe me? Well maybe, because it would explain why everyone kept having dreams about Justin Timberlake. "Guys!" he shouted as he raced into the kitchen, still in his Winnie the Pooh Bear footie pajamas, with the flap on the back so he wouldn't be so troubled as to pull them down in incident such as the nights bathroom expedition. "What is it Jamie?" Roberto asked, as Roberto was his best friend as indicated by the fact he'd let Jamie borrow his pug fugly tuxedo to a concert. Or maybe he lent him the pug fugly one to embarrass him, but anyway. "I saw something really disturbing last night," he said. "And what would that be?" Jean asked with such pleasantness it made everyone there want to punch her teeth in. "I saw the professor wheeling around in a dress singing along to 'Cry Me a River'." Everyone stared at him for a moment then burst out laughing. "I really did!" he insisted, but to no avail. "C'mon, Jamie, it was just a dream. A rather disturbing dream, but a dream nonetheless." "Shut up Jean! No one asked you!" he shouted. For a moment Jean looked taken aback then she remembered that the only opinion in the world that really mattered was hers because she was absolutely perfect in every single way, and she frolicked away out of the kitchen. After that everyone went back to what they were doing and completely ignored Jamie as they often did, due to his shortness.
*******************************
Later in school (I assume Jamie is in school as he was once seen getting homework help from Rahne) Jamie was trying to concentrate on his work but doing so was impossible due to the traumatizing effects the professors abnormalities had on him, and because the kid behind him smelled funny and was breathing heavily, which just creeped him out. C'mon, he thought, concentrate. Now, why DID the chicken cross the road?
"Jamie!" the teacher said sharply because she was a mutant hating bitch and always called on him first unless he actually raised his hand. "What is your answer?"
"Ummm.. I don't know?" he said.
"You weren't even paying attention were you, Mr. Madrox?" before he could answer, "Detention!" Gosh darn it all to heck! The other students laughed and Jamie considered running into a wall and making a trillion other Jamie's and commanding them to take over the world, but then decided he was too lazy and just sat there like the lump that he was.
So during Jamie's hour long detention for not knowing the answer to the age old question, 'Why did the chicken cross the road?' he doodled pictures of the professor in a dress. Then the Detention Master, the principle of the middle school, Mr. Zimp (heehee) waltzed in, his mind numbing superiority over two, count 'em TWO grades, eighth and seventh, making his head swell until it seemed ready to pop with pomposity.
"Mr. Madrox, what on Earth are you drawing?" he asked with exaggerated incredulity at the thought of a man in a wheelchair wearing a dress.
"I...uh... I really saw him!" he said helplessly.
"I'm going to recommend to your guardians that you get some professional help." Mr. Zimp said drastically. Gosh darn it all to heck again!
***************************
That night Jamie kept waking up because he thought he heard JT's girly voice undulating down the hall. Finally he fell into a deep, but frightening sleep, as he dreamed he was being chased by Justin in a wheelchair singing and in a dress much like the professors. Then his subconscious realized it wasn't in his dreams, he was really hearing it and so he forced himself to wake and burst into the hall. There sat the professor, hands folded on his lap and looking as if it were perfectly normal to be just sitting in the hall in the middle of the night.
"Professor...I could have sworn I heard...."
"Heard what Jamie?" he asked with utter and believable innocence.
"I...never mind. It was just a dream." And so poor Jamie went back to bed. As soon as the professor was certain the fool child was sound asleep he ripped off his ugly brown jacket and black sweater, which he wore everyday without fail to reveal underneath a red dress with yellow dancing flowers decorating it and continued down the hall singing "Cry me a river!"
"I knew it!" Jamie said, as he had been watching the professor from the crack under the door. "Now to send this to Americas Funniest Home Videos!" Then he saw that the camera was not on.
"No. No! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
The End
Now wasn't that stupid and pointless? Of course it was if it was written by me, Anelram the Mighty! Now I'm off to go play in the snow!
Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men, or any related thingamabobs.
Once Repressed
Jamie Madrox AKA Multiple or in the comic Multiple MAN, awoke suddenly. According to his alarm clock it was 2:12, but the sinister being could not be trusted for its several early goings off. What had caused him to awaken, he wondered. The mystery was solved moments later. "Oh man, I have to take a shit," whenever Jamie was alone he was given to swearing as he was whipped repeatedly with towels whenever he swore in the presence of anyone who thought it inappropriate for someone of his minor age to use such wordage. So down the hall he went searching for a bathroom. Searching, because the professor was liable to turn a bathroom into a game room as he saw fit, and build new bathrooms in strange places. Such as in the middle of the kitchen. Finally Jamie found what he sought and after using the bathroom to its purpose he returned to his room, hoping in his absence it had not been turned into a billiards room. Then Jamie heard something. It sounded like the professors wheel chair, but save looking for a potential bathroom victim, what would the professor be doing at this hour? Jamie took it upon himself to find out and hid in a conveniently placed towel closet. For some reason he heard Justin Timberlake's 'Cry Me a River' playing and, *gasp* could it be? The professor was singing along! GOOD GOD! Jamie peered through the crack in the door and watched in horror as Xavier went by singing along to JT in a wheel chair decorated with yellow flowers and other vibrant colored ribbons, and worst of all.. in a dress! Holy Lord. So shocked was the boy that he passed out and was only jarred awake by Kitty screaming because Amara had reached the bathroom before she did, once again. Jamie's neck hurt like a bitch from having slept against a wall. Also his brain hurt from having seen what he had seen the night before. Maybe I should tell the others, he thought, but would they believe me? Well maybe, because it would explain why everyone kept having dreams about Justin Timberlake. "Guys!" he shouted as he raced into the kitchen, still in his Winnie the Pooh Bear footie pajamas, with the flap on the back so he wouldn't be so troubled as to pull them down in incident such as the nights bathroom expedition. "What is it Jamie?" Roberto asked, as Roberto was his best friend as indicated by the fact he'd let Jamie borrow his pug fugly tuxedo to a concert. Or maybe he lent him the pug fugly one to embarrass him, but anyway. "I saw something really disturbing last night," he said. "And what would that be?" Jean asked with such pleasantness it made everyone there want to punch her teeth in. "I saw the professor wheeling around in a dress singing along to 'Cry Me a River'." Everyone stared at him for a moment then burst out laughing. "I really did!" he insisted, but to no avail. "C'mon, Jamie, it was just a dream. A rather disturbing dream, but a dream nonetheless." "Shut up Jean! No one asked you!" he shouted. For a moment Jean looked taken aback then she remembered that the only opinion in the world that really mattered was hers because she was absolutely perfect in every single way, and she frolicked away out of the kitchen. After that everyone went back to what they were doing and completely ignored Jamie as they often did, due to his shortness.
*******************************
Later in school (I assume Jamie is in school as he was once seen getting homework help from Rahne) Jamie was trying to concentrate on his work but doing so was impossible due to the traumatizing effects the professors abnormalities had on him, and because the kid behind him smelled funny and was breathing heavily, which just creeped him out. C'mon, he thought, concentrate. Now, why DID the chicken cross the road?
"Jamie!" the teacher said sharply because she was a mutant hating bitch and always called on him first unless he actually raised his hand. "What is your answer?"
"Ummm.. I don't know?" he said.
"You weren't even paying attention were you, Mr. Madrox?" before he could answer, "Detention!" Gosh darn it all to heck! The other students laughed and Jamie considered running into a wall and making a trillion other Jamie's and commanding them to take over the world, but then decided he was too lazy and just sat there like the lump that he was.
So during Jamie's hour long detention for not knowing the answer to the age old question, 'Why did the chicken cross the road?' he doodled pictures of the professor in a dress. Then the Detention Master, the principle of the middle school, Mr. Zimp (heehee) waltzed in, his mind numbing superiority over two, count 'em TWO grades, eighth and seventh, making his head swell until it seemed ready to pop with pomposity.
"Mr. Madrox, what on Earth are you drawing?" he asked with exaggerated incredulity at the thought of a man in a wheelchair wearing a dress.
"I...uh... I really saw him!" he said helplessly.
"I'm going to recommend to your guardians that you get some professional help." Mr. Zimp said drastically. Gosh darn it all to heck again!
***************************
That night Jamie kept waking up because he thought he heard JT's girly voice undulating down the hall. Finally he fell into a deep, but frightening sleep, as he dreamed he was being chased by Justin in a wheelchair singing and in a dress much like the professors. Then his subconscious realized it wasn't in his dreams, he was really hearing it and so he forced himself to wake and burst into the hall. There sat the professor, hands folded on his lap and looking as if it were perfectly normal to be just sitting in the hall in the middle of the night.
"Professor...I could have sworn I heard...."
"Heard what Jamie?" he asked with utter and believable innocence.
"I...never mind. It was just a dream." And so poor Jamie went back to bed. As soon as the professor was certain the fool child was sound asleep he ripped off his ugly brown jacket and black sweater, which he wore everyday without fail to reveal underneath a red dress with yellow dancing flowers decorating it and continued down the hall singing "Cry me a river!"
"I knew it!" Jamie said, as he had been watching the professor from the crack under the door. "Now to send this to Americas Funniest Home Videos!" Then he saw that the camera was not on.
"No. No! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
The End
Now wasn't that stupid and pointless? Of course it was if it was written by me, Anelram the Mighty! Now I'm off to go play in the snow!