Hello...sorry for disappearing off the face of the Fanfiction world... School has been living hell (Marching Band started and we marched for effing 10 hours last week!) and I have a 5 page paper due in less than a week -_- And I still haven't picked a topic DX
On the bright side, I got inspiration for an original novel, and have cranked out over 50 pages in little over a week. :) It's been taking a toll on my inspiration for Fanfiction, but whatever.
For once I am actually going to participate in a fandom week/day/celebration/thingy! It is currently Fairy Tail Angst Week so I figured I could post some sad shit and get away with it.
This is rated T for swearing and implied character death. I recommend looking up a sad Fairy Tail soundtrack playlist while listening, that's what I did while writing. I hope you all enjoy :)
When a Dragon's Soul Breaks
A Oneshot Written for Fairy Tail Angst Week
Two days.
Two days was how long it was supposed to take. Just 48 hours, and then she'd be back by his side. She was supposed to have come home to him, snuggled with him into the night, whispering "I love you" until they fell asleep. They were supposed to spend hours glued to each others side, laughing, talking, cooking, dancing, kissing...everything. It was supposed to be the ideal day. All she wanted was a little alone time beforehand, a chance to prove herself by taking a solo job.
She promised him she'd be home. And he believed her, because she'd never let him down before...ever.
Until now.
A year and a half. That's how long she's been gone for. That's how long he's had to enter her house alone, calling out her name into the empty rooms. That's how long he's been crying himself to sleep, worried sick for her. That's how long he's been waking up before dawn after a horrible nightmare...and finding himself alone.
He loved her. Damn, he loved her. She was his heart, his soul, his love, his life. He didn't care what over people thought about him... He didn't care if they believed he was childish or stupid. He was going to cling onto his every last memory of her like it was his lifeline. Which, in a way, it was.
His friends all thought she was dead. He had overheard them discussing a funeral at one point, only to stop when Lisanna said, "But how would Natsu feel?" For once, they actually gave a shit about how he felt in this situation. In his heart, she was still alive, even though every logical part of his body was whispering, "She's dead, you dumbfuck."
Not that he would ever listen.
"Natsu," Happy says sternly, tugging on his friend's filthy white pants. "We're going inside." Natsu refuses to look at his friend, instead focusing on the cobblestone street. With a sigh, Happy tugs on Natsu's pant leg again. "Natsuuuu. C'mon... It's been over a month since we went to the Guild Hall...please?"
Natsu finally spoke. "No. They're all going to be judgmental pricks just like last time. I want to go home and go back to bed."
"You'll never fall asleep, Natsu," Happy replies. "Stop making excuses."
"You're acting like you're my boss," Natsu snaps, pulling his pant leg out of his Exceed's grip. "I said no, and that's it. I am not going in there."
Before Happy could say anything in response, the doors to the Guild Hall swung wide open. Kinana smiles at them, holding the door open. To the duo's surprise, the guild is completely silent as they stare at Natsu and Happy in the doorway. Two seconds later, they resume talking like nothing happened. Natsu blinks, shocked. Weren't they going to say something about his appearance? He hadn't changed, showered, or brushed his hair in the last four days. He'd also barely eaten or slept. How could they go back to their lives like nothing was wrong? Natsu was conflicted: he wasn't sure whether or not that this was a good thing.
He slowly approaches the bar, ignoring the many of his guildmates that said hello. He sits down on a stool, then gazes at the wooden counter in front of him. Mirajane smiles as she passes him a mug of fire. "Hello, Natsu. Here, have this, it's on me."
Natsu eyes the glass, but does not touch it. "Why hasn't anyone said anything?" he asks bitterly. "Do I look normal?"
Confused, Mira responds with, "Well, don't you want to be treated normally? Last time you were here you got upset when we confronted you about it, so we all agreed to not say anything." She picks up a glass and starts cleaning it. "I'm not sure if you want to be hearing this kind of stuff right now, but Loke and Lisanna are dating. Isn't that great news?"
"Yeah, I guess," Natsu replies harshly. "Congrats to them." Mirajane's shoulders sag. She could see the emotional pain written all over Natsu's face. He was hurting, and badly. At this point, Mira wonders if Natsu will ever smile again.
"Look who finally decided to show up." Gray's voice carries from across the hall as he approaches the bar. Natsu turns around on his stool, then stands up to face Gray. "Good to see you, glad you finally got up off your lazy ass." Natsu doesn't reply, instead eyeing Gray as if he was looking for something. "What's up?" Gray asks, attempting to be normal.
"How do you not see this?" Natsu says coldly, indicating himself. "How blind are you, Gray? Can't you see I'm not in the mood to joke?"
"Do you want us to me honest with you, Salamander?" Gajeel grunts from where he sat next to Levy. "Because in all honesty, you look like fucking shit."
"Gajeel!" Levy gasps, shocked.
"Yeah, is that what you want?" Gray suddenly jumps in again, sounding a little pissed off. "We're just trying to get your mind off this, because honestly, you're being an immature idiot! The rest of us miss her too, okay? Lucy was our friend too! I understand, you guys dated for, what, a year? But still, man, pull yourself together! You're wasting your life in depression! Take a job so you can finally pay for your own damn bills! Go out in the world and do shit! Live your life!"
And then, Natsu finally snaps. Tears pour from his eyes like waterfalls, creating thick, damp lines. His teeth are gritted together in anger and grief. His eyes are filled with pain, nearly hidden by the tears. "You...fucking...asshole..." Natsu's whole body is shaking from his sobs.
Suddenly, he raises his voice. "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, OKAY?! YOU DON'T GET IT AT ALL! HOW DO YOU THINK IT'D FEEL TO LOSE SOMEONE YOU LOVE THAT MUCH, HUH? DO YOU EVEN REALIZE WHAT SHE WAS TO ME? SHE WAS MY GODDAMN SOULMATE! I COULD FEEL IT! THERE'S NO ONE ELSE IN THIS WORLD FOR ME BUT HER!"
His legs begin to feel weak, as if they're ready to collapse, but he remains on his feet. "I COULD BURN EVERY DAMN INCH OF YOUR FLESH AND IT STILL WOULDN'T EVEN COME CLOSE TO THE PAIN I'M FEELING! LUCY WAS MY EVERYTHING! SHE'S NOT SOMETHING I CAN TOSS ASIDE AND FORGET!"
Finally he falls to his knees, sobbing uncontrollably. "You...have no idea...how it feels...to miss someone so much you feel like you could die... You have no fucking idea...of what it feels like to try to tell someone your emotions and only have them to tell you to grow the fuck up... You will never understand...how it feels...to have part of your heart cut from your chest... Y-You...have no id-dea..." Natsu's voice wavers, then trails off into loud, uncontrollable sobbing.
The rest of the guild watches in shock as Natsu breaks down in front of them, slowly falling apart on the Guild Hall floor. They are all speechless, completely shocked by Natsu's words and raw emotion. Never before had they seen him like this...he normally was so strong...
"Natsu..." Gray says slowly. "You're right, I'll never understand. But that won't stop me from telling you to go do something with your life because-"
Natsu slams his fist into the wood floor with a loud BANG, cutting off Gray's sentence. The punch is so weak and sloppy that it doesn't even get close to causing a crack. "I thought you all were family..." Natsu snarls, his voice sounding slightly hollow. "I thought I was safe here..." His eyes glinting, he leaps to his feet. "BUT I GUESS NOT!" he screams, running towards Gray with an outstretched fist. "YOU BASTARD!" He pulls back his right elbow, preparing to land a blow right on Gray's jaw. Barely inches before he makes contact, however, he stops. All anger and hatred is gone in a flash. His arm hovers there, in mid-air, as he whispers, "I thought we were family..." His voice cracks weakly, causing multiple members of the guild to shed a tear.
Very slowly Natsu lowers his arm, shaking. He then walks out of the guild without another word, his eyes stone. He walks as if he's lost all hope and life, his shoulders slumped and his head down. He has just given up on trying to be strong. The door of the Guild Hall closes shut behind him silently, leaving the rest of the guild to stand there in silence.
Suddenly, Erza speaks up. "Happy, come with me. We need to make sure he doesn't try to do anything stupid." Eyes widen around the guild at Erza's horrible implications as Happy and Erza solemnly exit the hall.
The duo find Natsu sitting by himself on Lucy's windowsill, gazing downwards at the ground below him. His legs are swinging in constant momentum, left than right. His eyes are empty and unfocused. Erza sadly approaches the windowsill, looking upwards at her friend's face. "Natsu?" she says gently. "I'm so sorry of what Gray said to you...he means well, you know."
"If you're just here to defend him, go away," Natsu replies, his voice hollow. "I don't want to talk about him right now. I don't want to talk about anything, really..." His shoulders shake. "I just want Lucy to come home..."
"I know," Erza whispers just loud enough for him to hear. "I know, Natsu...we all do..."
Happy flies up to the windowsill, wanting to be by his friend's side. Natsu reaches out a gentle hand to stroke Happy's head, as if trying to comfort him. It made Erza smile sadly, a feeling of hope in her chest. The bond Natsu and Happy have is just as strong as ever. "Natsu..." Happy's voice is shaky. "I miss Lucy too..." He sniffs slightly. "I wanted you and her to get married."
Natsu jolts in shock, surprised at Happy's words. It took him a moment to register what his friend said, but when he finally calmed down, he spoke. "I have a ring..." he whispers. "I...I was just waiting for the right moment..." He clenches his scarf tightly, tears streaming down his face. "But now...it's too late... That chance will never come..."
"Natsu..." Erza calls up to him, trying to be soothing. "You do realize that she may not be dead, right? You may still have a chance."
Natsu looks up at Erza, his legs stopping swinging. "Y-You really...you really believe that she..."
"I believe she's still alive..." Erza lets a few tears fall. "I don't care if the others believe she's dead, we've had miracles before...like Lisanna. This is no different. No one even saw her 'die', so there's an extreme possibly that something came up..."
Fresh tears coat Natsu's cheeks as he chokes out,"Er-Erza..." He doesn't even bother to wipe away his tears. "Th-Thank you... Thank you for giving me hope when I had none... Thank you for helping me remember..." He strokes Happy's head lightly. "You too, little buddy..."
He stands up on the windowsill, facing the sun. "Lucy..." With a look of pure determination on his face, he stands tall. "I'm coming for you."
Ugh. Bad ending... T-T
(I know it seems like Gray was being a bit of an asshole, but he was trying to help Natsu see that he's wasting his life in grieving. Since he's Gray, he can't just flat out state that he's worried about Natsu, genuinely cares about him, and sees him as a brother. So, he dances around his words, and it all just comes out wrong.)
I may write a sequel to this where Natsu finds her, but it'll be later, simply because it wouldn't fit with Angst Week.
I hope you enjoyed, please tell me how I did. :) Love you guys.
~ForeverDreamer12, signing out.