Okay, I realise that if I haven't said anything about Reira in the story, my title just did. (Most of you get it right- Right?)
D/C: NO! I do not own any of Ai Yazawa's gorgeous imagination, and hence do not own her characters... DUH!
Maybe that was it. She just didn't know. Everything in a life has a balance, and perhaps Hachi was a victim to that belief more so than anyone else she knew, but they always say that no two things can be in harmony- when one thing is going perfectly, the other will dissipate into nothing.
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Nana and Hachi wandered lazily back to the apartment, linking arms so they could carry the weight of numerous shopping bags. The weekend seemed to have passed so quickly, one good thing after another and it figures that the days would blur Hachi thought. They had almost made it to 707, when, with her free arm, Nana reached over and started to poke Hachi in the ribs.
"Stop it!" Hachi giggled, her knees buckling slightly. "Y'know, I just knew it, can't you leave me and my beautiful new shoes alone, or are you that jealous that you want me to drop the bags?" She questioned through giggles. Nana merely responded by poking her more. Hachi finally lost her balance from the torture at the apartment door. Nana, leaning over Hachi and chuckling, opened the door clumsily and the two women would have fallen through the apartment door, if it weren't for the two figures occupying the space inside it.
"Takumi?" Hachi dropped the bags. She followed Nana with her eyes as she shrugged, strode over to the window sill and picked up the packet of Black Stone Cherry that was resting there. A silence hung in the room, shattered by the cry of "MUMMY!" Hachi instinctively bent down and enveloped Satsuki in her arms. Hachi's glance moved softly over her daughter's face, and saw her lip start to curl in thought "You were meant to be back yesterday y'know... Did you forget?" What made her feel worse was the knowledge that a nine year old had no real grasp of sarcasm, so the question was purely genuine and the guilt hit her at full force. "I ..." Hachi started slowly.
Nana stood at the window, back towards everyone else. She clicked her lighter sharply, and cocked her head slightly leaning into the flame to light the cigarette. She breathed the smoke into her lungs, closing her eyes, allowing herself to shut out the world for two seconds. Despite this, she knew Takumi was behind her. "Hachi," Nana began in her low tone "maybe you and Satsuki should go out for a bit, I mean she's not in Tokyo that often..." In the back of her mind Nana prayed that Hachi would see as just a gesture - but she knew Hachi wasn't Naïve- not anymore. Knowing exactly what Nana was doing, Hachi stood behind her defender's decision, and led her daughter out of the apartment.
Both Nana and Takumi waited for the "click" of the door closing and listened for the footsteps fading away. Nana moaned indifferently exhaling smoke as she did so, slowly turning to face Takumi.
"What are you doing?" Takumi questioned, his monotone voice remaining characteristically calm while his eyes glinted threateningly.
Nana lifted her head, a wry smile spreading across her face as she did so. "Sharing an apartment. Why? What does it look like?" She questioned raising an eyebrow provocatively.
Takumi stepped forward, glaring down at her. Nana stifled a laugh before taking another drag of her cigarette, not intimidated by the height of him in the least. She watched as his hands curled into fists.
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"Why does she keep coming back here?!" Takumi demanded the tension in his voice now perceptible.
"Hmm – You tell me, both questions you asked me, you could've answered them yourself." Nana responded still smiling. She didn't often take pleasure in seeing people angry anymore, but this was Takumi, an exception.
Now they were staring each other out, Takumi glaring, livid, while Nana merely smirked as she blinked expectantly, waiting for his answer:
"Is it for money?"
"No."
"Does she still worship the fact you're famous?"
"Nope, not really, she's not twenty and gullible anymore."
"Is it for sex?"
Nana laughed self deprecatingly, "You'd like to think so wouldn't you?" She paused waiting to see how much his temper would build then – "No."
There was a hissing sound as Takumi drew in breath through gritted teeth, then he lunged at Nana, grabbing her shoulder forcefully. "What is it then?!" He yelled.
Nana looked him up and down, glaring as she put weight behind her shoulder and shoved the hand off just as forcefully, walking to the other side of the apartment. "C'mon Takumi," Nana started again as she pushed herself up onto the countertop, "you're telling me that you seriously don't know what it is?" She questioned once more, laughing.
The silence answered for him. Nana sighed, "How do girls stay friends – hmm? By secrets, jokes, shopping, lunch, oh, and before I forget – strawberry cake. Give a girl strawberry cake and she will change the World." Nana allowed herself to reminisce for a moment, swinging her legs absent-mindedly.
"But those things," Takumi interrupted her thoughts, "they're all so simple."
"Mm..." Nana replied taking another drag of her cigarette, "they are aren't they? And the fact that you were so surprised at the simplicity of them, tells me you don't know Hachi well at all."
Takumi stormed over to Nana, and she met his glare unflinching. "How dare you! I know my Wife!!" He shouted.
"Oh, really?" Nana questioned sarcastically. Did you know that I've been getting phone calls from her for the last six months, asking me the same thing every other Friday night? The fact that you're not home again, because of 'writing new song material' or so she's been told by you!" Nana felt her chest tighten as the rage started to take control. "And y'know what the saddest thing is?!" She screamed, "Hachiko actually believes every single word of it, because she is a good wife. So, she stays up, cooks you a meal that you never eat! Tucks in a daughter and a son that you, most of the time don't kiss goodnight! Strangely enough you are the only one left who makes her seem devastatingly naïve! And while all this is happening, I get her tears over the phone, so I tell her more lies -that 'I'm sure you'll be home soon' and that 'you love her'". Her voice broke weakly at the end of the sentence, and she paused blinking back the tears that were beginning to glaze her eyes over and took a deep breath.
Nana began again in a lower, much darker tone. "Ask me again Takumi, why she keeps coming back here."
"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were accusing me." Takumi Hissed, his eyes tightening.
"I am." Nana retorted, "Because the room numbers of hotels that she told me between sobs, were exactly the ones that Ren gave me when he was 'writing new material.'" Nana studied Takumi's face as the shock slowly wrote itself across his features. "... Tell me, Takumi, or I will force it out of you."
Nana watched as Takumi subdued his hands, then – silence. She strode towards him, livid at his response, and stared, forcing him to look up and meet her gaze. Nana inhaled, slowly took the cigarette out of her mouth, and blew a cloud of smoke in Takumi's face and whispered through it: "Were you fucking Reira?" She raised her eyebrow expectantly. Nothing. "TELL ME!!" She yelled, "I NEED HER TO KNOW THE TRUTH!!" Nothing. "Takumi, I think you should know, I'm not as nice as your wife," and with that Nana raised the still- smouldering cigarette to Takumi's neck. She watched, incandescent with rage as he winced.
"Yes." Takumi answered submissively. "And why would you use that word?"
"Because it's the truth, you did fuck Reira."
"That's not how I meant- He attempted to answer back weakly.
Nana screamed: "Because it was Shameless! Is that a good enough reason to call it that?!" She let go of the cigarette and stamped it out with her toe. The sound rebounded off 707's walls.
"So Ren was sleeping with her too?" He asked, now frightened of the figure walking toward the window once more.
"Well," Nana began, putting up an all-too-visible sarcastic front, "I've heard sleeping with two people behind the other's back is tough. Reira was keeping track of you both, hence the same room numbers only different places each time."
"H- how long have you known?" He stammered.
"Six months."
"But Ren died just over a month ago." Takumi answered back his voice breaking, the shame gradually overwhelming him.
"Well then, I guess he was sleeping with your princess before he died then, huh?"
"Aren't you hurt th- Takumi started, only to be interrupted once more.
"I care about Hachiko." Nana answered the pain showing in her voice as tears welled at the back of her throat. "Ren's gone."
"Please, don't tell her ... I – It'll..."
"I'm telling her Takumi, the only choice you get is whether you are here or not when I do." Nana said darkly.
She turned once more to face Takumi, and was not surprised by the ashen face staring back at her. Her eyes followed him at he walked out.
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The instant she heard the door close, Nana felt an unbearable ache wash over her that all this time she had been holding in. She pushed herself up onto the table, put her hands together, resting both thumbs on her bottom lip and allowed two tears to etch themselves into her cheeks. A while later, still sat perfectly in the same position, she was shaken out of the melancholic state by the familiar sound of a key turning in the lock. She dashed the tears away hastily; got up, and paced in the five seconds it took for Hachi to open the apartment door.
"Hey, Nana." She said beaming.
"Hey," Nana said, clearing her throat and smiling back.
"Where's Satsuki?"
"I just got a call from Takumi, telling me to go back tomorrow, he said he needed to run into work, but I think he said that because he wanted to spend more time with Satsuki and Ren," said Hachi, smiling sweetly while closing the door behind her.
The expression on her friend's face nearly killed Nana, but at least she didn't know yet.
"You seem awfully quiet," said Hachi pouting in thought.
"Its fine – I'm fine." Nana checked herself. "We were just talking."
Hachi giggled as she put yet more shopping bags down. "You guys don't talk, you fight. You've been that way ever since I can remember."
No answer.
The lack of sound told Hachi everything she needed to know. She picked her head up from the shopping and walked over to Nana. Her heart sank as she saw her friend staring at the floor.
"Hey," Hachi coaxed softly as she placed her hands on Nana's shoulders, the maternal side of her become surprisingly evident. "I need you, to tell me what's going on." As soon as she felt her shoulders start to shake she wrapped her arms around her.
Nana's eyes widened, and as the tears welled up something crossed her mind. This was all wrong. She should be holding Hachi, not the other way around, but she couldn't remember the last time when she was this petrified. A few moments passed, until finally Nana found the strength to form words. "H- Hachiko... please just tell me you're happy with Takumi."
She waited, and soon felt Hachi's grip tighten.
There was a silence that both women could almost feel. Nana pushed Hachi gently away, breaking the embrace and holding her by her shoulders. She stared, fixated on Hachi's eyes, terrified. "Tell me, Hachiko."
"I – Hachi began, dropping her head. "I am," she answered quietly.
"You're lying!" Nana shouted, her voice straining in an attempt to overcome the pain she felt.
"Tell me you love him!" She insisted.
"I do." Hachi answered back listlessly.
"Tell me why!"
Nothing.
"You're lying! If you loved Takumi, you could tell me why!"
Hachi didn't answer, she knew it was the truth. "I just wanted you to think- she started weakly, tears now running down her face.
"I knew what you wanted me to think, because I wanted it for you! I wanted you to be happy! But the truth is," Nana continued her voice breaking, "that this," she pulled Hachi's wedding ring from her finger, "if you don't love him, means that he owns you!" With that Nana dropped the ring, the silence as it fell, was shattered by the sound of the impact as the ring, and all the promise it carried with it hit the floor.
Hachi stared up at Nana, tears gathering in her eyes, then falling as perfectly as raindrops down a window pane. Nana stared back, still coming to terms with what she had just done.
Hachi swallowed, her expression changing slowly to a glare, breaking free from Nana's grip. "Isn't that what we have here? Don't you own me?"
Nana felt a tugging in chest as she responded, as if her friend's answer had taken the oxygen out of her: "What we have, it doesn't compare. It's mutual."
Hachi felt an uncontrollable anger build up, and shouted: "Maybe we should have asked Ren that! Now that he's gone you just decide to try and take me away from my life, because you can't handle it, I won't replace him for you –
"Wh- what if I could tell you, something that would make you stay?" Nana began, the fear almost overwhelming her speech.
Hachi waited, tears still falling.
"What if I told you, Nana continued "that while you wondered where he was all those nights for the past six months, he was sleeping with Reira."
Nana watched the inevitable reaction, as Hachi clapped her hands over her mouth and the tears continued to fall silently. She shook her head twice and then fell into Nana's arms, sobbing painfully. All that could be heard was pathetic, muffled "No's." Nana whispered softly, "I can't ever own you, Hachiko... The only thing I've ever wanted to do was protect you... Who ever said you came second place to Ren?"
Nana had only just realised what she'd confessed, and with it came a horrible feeling, similar to the feeling of missing a step on the stair in complete darkness. Both let go of one another, equally as shocked.
Nana walked to the door, turned her back to it, and slid down, no strength left in her body. She laughed at first, allowing tears to fall, relieved at finally saying what she had been wanted to say for a long time, but a great ache overcame the relief and she began to sob. She tugged weakly at her top, then clutched her arms about her as if not knowing where the pain was coming from. She curled herself into a ball, head between her knees. She only moved when she felt Hachi's hand.
Staring up helplessly, Nana said, her voice shaking, "Please, understand me when I say this, I cannot live like this, because I can't live without you."
________________________________________
"Aw, c 'mon." Hachi giggled, "This isn't fair, one of these – mm." She was interrupted by a kiss, it was difficult to speak when your lips were pressed to someone else's.
"One of these days," Nana said moving down and speaking in-between kissing Hachi's neck, "I will reach - number one- and you- if there's any justice in this world- will be queen."
"I think you've had too much to drink," Hachi breathed, laughing at the sensation on her skin.
A muffled laugh came from Nana and she retorted: "And I say, you can never have too much to drink."
"Be nice, I have Ren and Satsuki this weekend, that was mine and Takumi's agreement remember? Satsuki's only just managed to get the whole you and me thing, and she's older, what on earth are you gonna tell Ren?"
Nana raised her eyebrow sneakily and waited.
Hachi burst into laughter.
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