About reasons and accidents
"I found a reason for me
To change who I use to be
A reason to start over now
And the reason is you"
It's sad to admit it. But this time, Padfoot, with all his fleas, is right. I am changed. And I feel different. Moony already told me that too. And I know that seems unbelievable, but even Wormtail realized that. And if Wormtail is able to realize something I'm pretty sure that it must be quite obvious.
Hexing Snivellus still is funny, and everything... I'm a marauder and I must honor that. But some things had lost their old fun.
Moony says that it is the sense that took ages, but it is finally in my head. But not to much, he uses to add. He says that this is only a consequence, after seven years in this castle I grew up. But he (and also I) knows that this is not the truth. This change has a name. And last name. And awesome red hair.
Sometimes I ask myself what the problem is. But it's useless; I evidently know what the problem is. Nowadays all my problems (and solutions, I must add) ended up in her.
The truth is that she had asked me (very, very loudly by the way) to be a better person. And I'm trying. This is not like James Potter does what him is told to, anyway telling me what's wrong about me is not the same as ask me to be better. But be different for my redhead, makes a lot of sense.
James Potter is a full in love. And he makes changes (well, not huge changes) for love.
I'm pathetic.
"So she said what's the problem baby?
What's the problem I don't know
Well maybe I'm in love (love)
Think about it every time
I think about it
Can't stop thinking about it
How much longer will it take to cure this
Just to cure it cause I can't ignore it if it's love
Accidentally in love"
Why? It's impossible to ask myself another question. Why??
Why him? Why it had to happen with me? I've always complained about him. I've always thought his thing with his hair stupid (well, I sure thought so, but I don't know what I think right now, because I may have changed my mind without even notice it). I've tried so hard to not feel this way. Like an idiot. Like an idiot in love.
I'm trying to handle with it. First step was admitting it. First to myself, then to Alice. Second step was stop to scream with him. It was not that hard. It may sound weird, but he is much quieter. Responsible, maybe.
Now I'm trying to decide the third step. Things don't have two steps, it just don't, you know??? It's always three. And unfortunately those don't come written in any book.
Maybe the third step is ignore it. But that wouldn't make any sense, since I was already ignoring before the first and second step. I would go back, and to be where I am right now was pretty hard. Maybe third step is telling him the truth. I also doubt that it is. If telling him that I like him is a step, is definitely not the third. This one is really distant. I don't know what to do now.
He stopped asking me out. I can't blame him. I would have given up in much less time. And that isn't like I would make any difference considering all the girls he dated.
The truth is tough and bad. I felt for someone that doesn't want anything serious with anybody(and I think that he never will), and that doesn't like me anymore (if someday he ever had), and don't want anything with me. And this guy, although idiot and arrogant, is something else for me (Eww… that sound disgusting).
I'm stopping right here. This is all a huge accident. Time will heal me (but do not ask me how long it will take).
In the library hallway, two students were walking without paying much attention. Lily Evans was going out of the library, to her bedroom. And James Potter was looking for his friend, Remus. Well, don't need to say that walking without attention you run the rink of running into someone, and that's what they did. In that moment, they changed a look.
_ Sorry Lily.
_ It was nothing James... My fault.
He smiled. He had never heard the redhead calling him for his first name. She smiled too. They went back to their own ways, when James decided to try again. He hadn't done that for a while.
_Hey Lily!!
_ Yes?_ she turned into his direction.
_ Would you like to … hum.. Well we have Hogsmead tomorrow…
He wasn't expecting an answer different than no. But hope is the last one to die. And it became grower when she smiled to him.
_ Yeah.. Meet me on the garden tomorrow morning.
He couldn't be more surprised. Actually, it would be pretty obvious that he didn't believe if you had looked to his face. When he got that wasn't a joke, or something, he gave the biggest smile on earth.
_ You won't regret it, redhead.
And then they continued their ways smiling to themselves.
END
A/N== Hey!! Well, that's my second fic in english, the only one that my english teacher actually read it... But if there's something weird about language, please, review me!!
And it was not that easy to put it in english!! So pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! Let me know if someone like it!!
xoxo!!