Disclaimer- My psychologist has helped me come to terms with the fact that I don't own Twilight, Stephanie Meyer does.
Edward POV
I was bored totally, and completely bored. Bella swan love of my damned existence was currently having one of her notorious human minutes, joy. It felt like its been an hour. Does it take her this long to take a shower?
I glanced down at my watch, crap it, it's been thirty seconds.
How to occupy my time? I could review my day. Let's see Emmett being an imbecile, Alice shopping, and Rosalie being self absorbed, nothing new.
Then there was that vile mike Newton asking Bella out. Oh, what I wouldn't give to kill him. I wonder how many ways I could kill him.
The ways to kill Mike Newton
Death by:
Knives
Pink sparkly blenders
Cars
Medieval torture devices
Angry violent ducks
Tree crushing his passing car
Jessica
Mutts (Jacob would enjoy that, but most importantly he would make it very painful)
Toasters
Ninjas
Suffocation
Starvation
Suddenly I felt something warm on my cheek. I jumped a little, but then was calmed by a laugh that belonged to an angel, my angel.
"Finally, I surprised you!" my angel said, with another heart warming laugh. That warmed even my cold dead heart.
My reverie was interrupted by her taunting voice, once again. "So what were you thinking about? You looked like you would have drooled, if you could have."
"I was thinking about Mike."
She laughed, "So you were thinking about how hot mike would look in a frilly pink tank top."
"No, I was imagining ways to kill him; my favorite was death by medieval torture devices."
"What about death by evil, demonic leprechauns" she suggests as she yawned.
"Sleep, my love. Dream happy dreams of Mike dying terrible, violent deaths."
She soon was asleep, so I decided to go change clothes. I was almost out the window when my love spoke.
"Mike", she sighed. WHAT!
I waited anxiously for her to continue.
"Mike…….must……..die!" she screamed, as I held back laughter.
"Attack, my evil leprechauns, attack!" she screamed.
'And this' I thought, while I laughed silently, 'is one of the reasons I love her.'
A/N: sorry if they are a little off character.
Review, give me criticism!