Fingers dug into silver locks. Nails digging into the flesh of his scalp. Trapped in the solitude of his allotted room. Hidan's mind was spinning though that could be due in part to his previous actions of bashing his own head against the wall. Blood trickling down his features as curses were bellowed. Curses towards himself, curses towards the woman, begging pleas for forgiveness of the great Lord.
Stupid. Idiotic. A complete imbecile. "Fuck...FuckfuckfuckfuckFUCK!" Hidan's muttered screaming could easily be heard through his door. Not that he cared much. How could he have kissed her. They were comrades. Nothing more. Nothing more. But then why did his chest burn and his heart start to race when he saw that infernal woman. Why. Why was this happening?
Sure he preferred Konan's company compared to most. The woman was quiet and rarely interrupted his preaching for and about Jashin when so many simply cut him off. Most retorting and belittling his belief like that of his partner, Kakuzu. Bloody heathens the lot of them. Konan on the other hand. Actually asked questions. Wanted to learn even if she couldn't, wouldn't convert to bathe in Jashin's holy light. Of course Hidan couldn't give away everything. Some of the scriptures and teachings were for the holiest of servants' eyes only.
Then why was this happening? This was a sin...but then why did it feel so. Good. Why did it feel so nice, calming to be near Konan. These feelings of attraction were building. Once Hidan had realized what was happening. The pain that grew and was so different from what he was use to. Progressively Hidan began to avoid the woman. Deliberately, practically running away to avoid the sensations. The lust to touch her skin that looked so soft. Oh how he wanted to simply stroke his fingers across her cheek. To brush that one loose strand of hair back behind her ear. Such illusions were only satiated by running fingers through his own hair...a suppressant really that made him long to touch her even more.
Forehead resting against the wall. Hands drawn upwards to cradle his head. Eyes dull and passive as they stared at the floor. Shit. SHIT. Stop thinking about her. You have to stop. You have to stop these fantasies Hidan! But he couldn't. Longing and lustful dreams plagued his mind at night while fantasies swirled before his eyes in the day. Growing restless, tormented. Jashin would not approve of his wants that were confused for needs. Needing to touch that woman. To feel her beneath him. Feelings and notions torn as his lord had yet to intervene. To provide hush whispering guidance and comfort when such feelings stirred. The same when the indistinguishable need for affection was sprouting for Kakuzu.
For months, Jashin has remained silent. Even when Hidan attempted prayers, his lord refused to speak. But the albino was sure his loyalty was not questioned. That the zealot was indeed still the messiah's favorite as immortality still ran through Hidan's veins. Waiting in silence was becoming too much. Far too much when adorned with the rising emotions and constant efforts to avoid The Angel. The sin of Envy and Greed were gripping his soul. Envious of those lowly heathens that worship at her feet while the intentions of Greed began to form to make Konan belong to him and him alone.
Plunging a knife through the flesh of his palm. Cringing as the serrated edge punctured through the other side with the all too familiar sight and scent of crimson blood trickling down the blade. Staining his paler skin. An effortless endeavor to draw the symbol of his cult on the floor. The queasy sensation filling his mind as the final line was completed, the connection made to the mighty lord, Jashin. Prayers that were by now a mixture of dire desperation and empty expectation.
Hidan allowed his mind to wander, to blank and shut off as was necessary for all of his prayer sessions. Idly pressing the hilt of the knife that was still pierced through his hand against the floor. Holding it in place as a means for him to pierce the other. A mockingly cruel gesture of folded hands. Magenta hues remained half lidded, all too accustomed to such dull pain to show any emotion. "Jashin, the one true Lord of all. I, your most loyal servant beseech you. Rid me of these thoughts and purify my tainted soul so I may once again stand in your praising light..." Hushed prayers meant for only one to hear. Waiting like countless times before for Jashin to come. He use to be so hasty, so willing to speak to the immortal. However, the Lord of all was silent these past few months. No matter what Hidan attempted to make contact. Now at wits end, fear long since passed and replaced with emptiness, expecting the same result as before. The latter becoming far too true as pursed lips were drawn. Head idly leaning down so Hidan's forehead may press against the stained flesh of his hands.
A noticeable twitch of his shoulders. The familiar scent of brimstone wafting, permeating his room soon to be followed by the slow thumping footsteps of someone from behind. Hidan knew better than to look. The last time he did so in the beginning of his teachings was met with his eyes being split within his skull. Left blind for months until his immortality fixed his problem. Jashinists were only allowed to see their highest Lord when their sacrifice was received.
Eyes clamped shut as the presence manifested. Always standing behind but he could tell. Hidan could always tell what his Lord was doing. The way he stood, if he was upset, if he was near or far. Relief that his prayer was at long last heard and hopefully...possibly Hidan would be allowed to hear the voice of Jashin once again for reconciliation.
"Lord Jashin...Forgive me for I have-" Cut off by the brash and echoing tone behind.
"Sinned?" A snide, jeering laugh that fluxuated between the voice of a man to a child before settling back to the previous demeanor. "I know everything. Everything that you do and think of, Hidan." The presence moved. Coming closer, far closer than Jashin has before in Hidan's years of servitude. "What to do...Oh what to do with my festering welp."
Hidan was forced to flinch, teeth clenched together to avoid uttering a sound of discomfort. The scent of fragrant death was strong. Hands...Or what he assumed to be hands clamped down on his bare shoulders. Blistering cold that burned his flesh. Fear grew, seeded deep into his soul and seemed to flourish under the touch of Jashin.
"Your mind is festering like a disease. Filled with this woman...Just like before with that decrepit man you travel with." Nails dug into skin. Blood would not spill forth, but the feeling remained. Of flesh and muscle being torn and pulled. Agony accompanied by the burning flames of hell blistered under Jashin's touch. A new sensation fo something slick falling against the back of Hidan's neck. The feeling of tar that Hidan swore he could hear sizzling.
As soon as the torture started it was lifted. Granted amnesty and relief as the nails removed themselves. A chilling chuckle that fluxuated from female to male this time around. "I've been watching the heathen that plagues your mind...Your deepest wish is to make her yours. Don't even try to lie to me, child. It's. All. Up. Here." To place emphasis a sharp nail was tapped against Hidan's temple.
The priest could only listen. Any words that were to spoken were already known. All there was to do was to listen and accept the punishment. Expecting the same abuse from when his affections were made known towards that miser bastard. Flinching and shrinking down, away from Jashin's touch.
An inhumane hiss of a noise. Nails trailing across Hidan's spine before digging in once more. The shock ridden sensation of being skinned. Muscle torn off of bone. But that wasn't the worse part. Already having broken his silence, Hidan cried out. Tearing his hands free from the knife to keel over as Jashin stepped inside his body as if it were a suit. As the entity forced its way inside. Control over Hidan's body was taken away. Stuck as a witness as his body was no longer his to own.
It hurt like a bitch. To have two souls walking around in a single body. Adjusting, slowly rising to his feet to test out this newfound body. A dull grimace towards the wounds of Hidan's hands.
Stuck, forced into the back of his mind, forced to watch as if his life was now some sort of movie he had no voice in. Or rather the only individual to hear his cries and pleas being Lord Jashin. "Lord Jashin, what is the meaning of this! If you were in need of my body than I assure you I will fulfill your demands!" A desperate attempt. No matter how loyal Hidan was to this entity. Lose of control was the worse possible punishment to be received.
"What I want...is something you are too diffident to acomplish for my plans. I grow bored...my followers are spread thin as well as my patience. It's time I've come to the material plane to...speed things up."