Er... Please?

By Greenfly

Disclaimer: I own nothing recognisable. I'm just borrowing everyone for a bit of my own twisted fun. ;-)

"Go out with me Evans."

"Bugger off Potter."

"Evans!"

Lily glanced up at James' genuinely shocked face and reddened slightly. She looked down at her plate.

"Sorry, I-"

"Evans, Evans, Evans…" Sirius tutted from where he sat. "What the hell are you apologising to this munchkin for?" Sirius shook his head and draped an arm over the said 'munchkin' whilst simultaneously taking a huge bite out of his chicken leg. That guy had talent, Peter thought mournfully from where he sat between Remus and Lily's friend Hannah.

Noticing Hannah for the first time, Peter turned to her and winked suggestively causing her to shudder, but bat her eyelids a second later when Sirius did the same. But then silly-Sirius tried the same tactic on the Evans-monster and he got an eyeful of pumpkin juice for his trouble.

"AHHH!" He squealed, bouncing in his seat and hitting the gravy dish with his knee, so that it upturned and hit Remus in the face.

"AHHHHH!" Remus screamed as he tried to dodge the barrage of hot gravy and bashed into Peter as he fell backwards off the bench.

"AHHHHHHHHH!" Peter shrieked as he fell forward and his face landed in the butter dish.

Not wanting to be left out; "Argh!" James yelled in a manly voice, as he dived forward and rugby tackled Lily Evans off her chair and onto the floor.

"HAHAHA!" Hannah erupted as she dissolved in giggles and went to join Remus under the table.

James was pleased to note that from the way he and Lily were laying, his face was very close to hers. He reached up a hand to ruffle his hair but a shriek of pain halted his movement. He had just jabbed his elbow into Lily's rib… Oops.

"Get off of me Potter." She hissed. She could NOT lie on the floor during dinner between the Ravenclaw and Gryffindor tables with the infamous James Potter on top of her for much longer and still have any dignity by the end of it! If only he. Would. Get. OFF! (Each thought was punctuated with an ineffective push).

James Potter just laid down on her more heavily and made himself comfortable.

"Go out with me Evans?" He whispered in his most seductive voice.

"ARGH!" His only reply was a most painful knee in the groin. With another push he was off her, Hannah handed Lily her books and they were out of the hall, the entire school whispering in their wake.

Remus feebly crawled over to where James lay hunched in pain before collapsing next to him and resting his cheek against the cool floor.

"I think that went rather well. Don't you?"

James growled in response as Sirius dropped to the floor and rolled his way over, resisting the urge to squeal "Whee!" as he did so. His rolling came to a stop next to James and he patted James on the back.

"Merlin Prongsie, why did you have to pick a feisty one, eh? She can pack one mean kick." He smiled in remembered appreciation of that talent.

James whimpered in pain again as he slowly withdrew his protecting hands and tilted his head enough to see Sirius.

"What I don't get," Said Remus from behind. "Was why you lunged at her?" James ignored the question as he gingerly twisted onto his back, not noticing Peter who by now had raised his sorrowful head out of the butter dish and finally spotted his fellow Marauders huddled like piggies in a row on the floor. Never one to be too far behind, Peter dived from his seat towards them, managing to land across all their three middles. The scream made by those three men was not dissimilar from the one that James had made earlier, but would be remembered throughout Hogwarts' history nonetheless.

Grinning like a Cheshire cat, Ciana slipped out of the hall. Lily would love to hear what had happened after her dramatic departure, and Ciana was just the friend/dormmate for the job. How could Lily ever have lived this long without her? Ciana wondered as she tucked an extra bread roll into her pocket. She did not know. She just… she did not know.

But she couldn't wait to tell Hannah and Lils what had happened. They'd be rolling on the floor much like three of the Marauders were currently doing, only with laughter.

Much like Snape was currently doing.

And that was certainly a sight to see.