Title: Brave Enough

Author: Angel Leviathan

Spoilers: Anything, everything.

Disclaimer: Stargate Atlantis, characters, concept, etc, aren't mine.

Notes: Really really random, but the idea wouldn't leave me alone. Its basically trying to explain why Teyla always calls Ford by his first name in new season. I admit I don't know a great deal about either character, so I could be talking crap for this entire fic, please excuse me.

The evening found them in the back of the mess hall, he tapping away at his laptop, she writing down neat lines of print in the old language of her people, finding a certain security in the knowledge that only she could read it, even if the contents were of no interest to anybody but herself. She understood the need for reports to be written, and, even though few 'official' documents were often asked of her beyond details of any missions she was present for, felt that she should keep a record of the minor details that only held any importance to her. She might have called it a diary, but it wasn't, for the details within weren't personal enough to name it as such, wary of secrets gone astray.

He leant back and stretched, blinking several times, trying to focus on the laptop screen again.

"Lieutenant?"

"Yeah?" Ford answered.

"If you are tired, should you not go rest?" Teyla proposed.

"Nah, I'm nearly done," he sat up and shook his head as he 'signed' and dated the document.

She caught the frown on his face, "What is it?"

He shrugged, "Nothing much."

"It obviously concerns you a great deal," she'd learnt to see past the often childlike excitement and exuberance he usually displayed, and already knew, if only from having to become a good listener to be a capable leader, that when anybody stated 'nothing' it was always 'something' even if they were intent on not sharing.

"…Its just weird," Ford replied, "…I mean, I get called 'Ford' about a million times a day, but it still makes me want to look round for my dad. He was always 'Ford'. I was 'Ford's boy'," the faraway look in his eyes was replaced with a tinge of sadness, "When he was alive. When he and Mom were alive."

Teyla broke their eye contact for a moment, "I did not know your parents had passed away."

He shook his head, "Its okay. …It was a long time ago…I was still a kid," his voice was quiet, "…And if you were leader of your people…"

"Then my family are also gone," she nodded.

"I'm sorry."

"It too was a long time ago. I do not even remember my mother," her expression was thoughtful, as if she were trying to conjure an image of her, "My father always said she was wise and beautiful, and I would like to think of her as such. But I realise that any husband who loved his wife would say the same of his…"

Ford smiled slightly, "My Dad adored my Mom. You could see it in eyes when he talked about her," the smile faded, "…In a way…I'm glad they went together. I don't think they could've lived without each other," he shut the lid of his laptop.

"People say my father was different after my mother died. But I would not know him from the man he was before she was gone. She was caught in a culling, as he was. …I once heard him say she was trying to hide me…protect me…" she closed her eyes, "…I do not like to think about it. I was little more than a baby."

He reached across the table and caught her hand, twining his fingers with hers, keeping hold of her when he felt her increase the pressure, "My parents died in a car crash. I don't even remember who was driving. I didn't want to know, in case I blamed them. …Sometimes I wished I'd been with them."

"I understand how you feel…" Teyla said softly, looking back up at him, "…More than you know. I did not want to lead my people. I was still a young girl. And in my eyes, both my parents had died because they would not leave me. I did not deserve to be alive when they were gone. And I certainly did not deserve to be leader in my father's place."

"But you followed in his footsteps."

"As was required of me."

"…I guess I had the choice. Back then, I wanted to be like my Dad. I wanted somebody to be snapping orders at a 'Ford' again. So I signed up. I don't think it was a mistake. Sometimes I do…sometimes I wonder…if he'd've wanted me to be the one who thinks up new ways to kill people…but he protected his family…and I want to help everyone here…" he looked away, embarrassed.

"But you are really Aiden…not Ford…" Teyla answered, hesitantly.

He shot her a smile, "That's me."

"…In some ways, I am glad I am not as needed by my people any longer…I wonder if I was ever needed…but it is not where you feel needed, but where you feel you can do the most good, is it not? Even if you are uncertain at times."

"You do a lot of good, Teyla. With your people and here. And if you ask me, the Major's stupidly brave to want to spar with you like he does," he laughed quietly.

"You have to find your own way in the world, I have heard it said. I could not, did not, fight until I became leader of my people."

"I guess you don't know what you're capable of until everything's gone. Its why I signed up. I love my grandparents and my cousin, but part of me was gone…I wanted it back. I wanted something back anyway. Just to make a difference, you know?"

She nodded, "You have to be lost to be found."

"You should write that down," he smiled.

"Maybe I will," Teyla returned the smile and picked up her pen with her free hand, "Aiden."

Ford was silent for several moments, "…Thank you."

She simply glanced up at him and inclined her head, silently. She knew what he was thankful for. And she was thankful simply because he understood. Her and himself.

Fin