Owen and the Rabid Fangirls
Rated PG-13
By Lady Leah of Chaos
Beta Read by Dragon's Dreams
A/n: I'm only rating it PG-13 because of what I might put in later. Also, the beginning is kinda stupid but it gets better so keep reading.
Disclaimer: There's a bunch of stuff here that I don't own, but that's not my problem.
Chapter 1
Once upon a time, Owen was sitting on a jolly pony, being jolly. The pony's name was Jolly. Owen rode Jolly into the forest. He was having a jolly good time, when he suddenly heard a shriek.
"That's not a jolly noise!" said Owen. He and Jolly went to see what it was. It was a box of chicken nuggets!
"Wow! I love chicken nuggets! How jolly is that?" Owen said to Jolly. He dismounted and walked over to the box of chicken nuggets and started gobbling them down. By the time he realized chicken nuggets do not shriek, a rope tightened around his foot and he was hanging upside down in a tree.
"THIS IS NOT JOLLY! Owen yelled.
"We got him!" voices came from behind the tree. Five girls ran out of the wood behind him and cheered. All were wearing very short skirts and their hair was in long ponytails, except for the brunette who hated skirts. They formed a circle around him and continued cheering.
"Let me down," Owen begged.
"Will you run away?" asked a very tall blonde with many freckles.
"YES!" Owen yelled.
"Then the answer is no," the blonde said.
"Alright, alright, I won't. Just let me down," Owen whimpered.
"Coming down!" another blonde yelled. She pulled a rope and Owen fell down onto a bed of rose petals.
"OUCH! That wasn't jolly!" Owen exclaimed, "There was a thorn in those petals!"
"Oops." Another blonde grinned maliciously.
"Who are you?" Owen glared back. The only brunette of the group grinned.
"We, my dear Owen of Jesslaw, are your fan club." Owen stood up in a daze. He stumbled for a minute, and then looked at the girls.
"I have a fan club?"
"DUH!" The girls said in unison.
"Wow! That's jolly!" Owen said excitedly.
"I'm Leah, and I'm the president... I can boss everyone around!" a hyper blond said.
"I'm Samantha, and I'm the vice-president... If I kill Leah I can boss everyone around!" a very tall blond said.
Leah threw a tranquilizer dart at Samantha.
"I'm Gretchen and I'm the secretary!"
"I'm Becky and I'm the treasurer..."
"I'm Rose. I'm the salesperson. I like to persuade people. I can be very persuasive..."
"Umm..." Owen stuttered, "You're not rabid fan girls, are you? Joren got killed by his and..." They all smiled revealing very sharp teeth.
"What did you expect?" Owen turned the color of old oatmeal.
"By the Way, why did you say Joren's fan girls killed him? I thought he died during the ordeal," Becky said with a puzzled look.
"He did," Owen said gravely, "But it wasn't the Chamber that killed him."
"It wasn't?" the fan girls chorused.
"Nope," Owen said, "It was his fan girls." All the fan girls gasped.
"What did they do?" Gretchen whispered.
"Half an hour before he left, they snuck in with bows and killed him," Owen said quietly.
"He looked like he had lost all the hope of sunrise," Rose whispered.
"You would too if your fans turned on you," Leah replied. Suddenly she started giggling uncontrollably. The other girls joined in and soon they were all cracking up.
"What's so jolly and funny?" Owe asked in a confused manner.
"It's that we were Joren's fan girls for a while," Leah said between laughs, "But when you came, we decided we liked you better."
"We never quite forgave him for beating you when you were pages," Samantha explained, "We had to find some way to get back at him."
"You mean... you killed Joren?" Owen asked pathetically.
"Oh, that's right, we did!" Samantha said and laughed.
"It was fun, wasn't it? With all the blood and the guts... ah the good days," Rose giggled. The others joined in.
"Wait! We didn't kill him! We tranquilized him! They thought he was dead, so they buried him alive!" Leah said after a minute.
"Do you think we used too strong a tranquilizer?" Rose pondered aloud.
Owen ran.
"After him, girls!" Leah yelled, pulling out a crossbow and a quiver of tranquilizer darts. All the girls cheered and pulled out bows and darts of their own. All let out a war cry and rushed down the road where Owen had ran.
Running as fast as he could, Owen sped to the castle and burst into Lord Wyldon's office.
"My Lord, my lord. Help me! HELP ME!" Owen screamed. Lord Wyldon looked up mildly from his paperwork.
"Help you with what?" He inquired.
"THEY'RE AFTER ME!"
"Who's after you?"
"THE RABID FAN GIRLS!" Owen yelled, and began running around in circles.
"Rabid fan girls?" Wyldon repeated incredulously.
"They're crazy! They trapped me with chicken nuggets, stuck me with thorns and they killed-"Owen stopped abruptly as Leah, Samantha, Becky, Gretchen, and Rose all burst into the room. Leah walked over to Owen and grabbed him. With a tranquilizer resting on his neck, she kissed him on the cheek and whispered, "A good squire never tells..."
"What business have you with my squire?" Lord Wyldon demanded.
"Oh, shut up, you old fart," Leah said impatiently.
"That's Lord Wyldon to you. I demand proper respect!"
"Samantha?" Leah said. Calmly, Samantha pulled out her crossbow, loaded a tranquilizer dart, and shot Lord Wyldon in the shoulder.
"OH MY GOSH, YOU JUST KILLED MY MASTER!" Owen yelled.
"Shut up kid. It's a tranquilizer. He'll be up in, oh, I'd say about five hours," Samantha said confidently.
"Five hours?!" Owen exclaimed.
"And he won't remember a thing," Leah said smugly, "We made the formula ourselves."
"On second thought, we'd better give you some, too... to add to the over all effect of kidnapping you and knocking a lord out that could have us killed for this, but we shouldn't think about that because he won't even know we were even here... so I'll just shut up," Rose thought aloud. The last thing Owen remembered before he blacked out was a dart aiming straight at his chest.
Rated PG-13
By Lady Leah of Chaos
Beta Read by Dragon's Dreams
A/n: I'm only rating it PG-13 because of what I might put in later. Also, the beginning is kinda stupid but it gets better so keep reading.
Disclaimer: There's a bunch of stuff here that I don't own, but that's not my problem.
Chapter 1
Once upon a time, Owen was sitting on a jolly pony, being jolly. The pony's name was Jolly. Owen rode Jolly into the forest. He was having a jolly good time, when he suddenly heard a shriek.
"That's not a jolly noise!" said Owen. He and Jolly went to see what it was. It was a box of chicken nuggets!
"Wow! I love chicken nuggets! How jolly is that?" Owen said to Jolly. He dismounted and walked over to the box of chicken nuggets and started gobbling them down. By the time he realized chicken nuggets do not shriek, a rope tightened around his foot and he was hanging upside down in a tree.
"THIS IS NOT JOLLY! Owen yelled.
"We got him!" voices came from behind the tree. Five girls ran out of the wood behind him and cheered. All were wearing very short skirts and their hair was in long ponytails, except for the brunette who hated skirts. They formed a circle around him and continued cheering.
"Let me down," Owen begged.
"Will you run away?" asked a very tall blonde with many freckles.
"YES!" Owen yelled.
"Then the answer is no," the blonde said.
"Alright, alright, I won't. Just let me down," Owen whimpered.
"Coming down!" another blonde yelled. She pulled a rope and Owen fell down onto a bed of rose petals.
"OUCH! That wasn't jolly!" Owen exclaimed, "There was a thorn in those petals!"
"Oops." Another blonde grinned maliciously.
"Who are you?" Owen glared back. The only brunette of the group grinned.
"We, my dear Owen of Jesslaw, are your fan club." Owen stood up in a daze. He stumbled for a minute, and then looked at the girls.
"I have a fan club?"
"DUH!" The girls said in unison.
"Wow! That's jolly!" Owen said excitedly.
"I'm Leah, and I'm the president... I can boss everyone around!" a hyper blond said.
"I'm Samantha, and I'm the vice-president... If I kill Leah I can boss everyone around!" a very tall blond said.
Leah threw a tranquilizer dart at Samantha.
"I'm Gretchen and I'm the secretary!"
"I'm Becky and I'm the treasurer..."
"I'm Rose. I'm the salesperson. I like to persuade people. I can be very persuasive..."
"Umm..." Owen stuttered, "You're not rabid fan girls, are you? Joren got killed by his and..." They all smiled revealing very sharp teeth.
"What did you expect?" Owen turned the color of old oatmeal.
"By the Way, why did you say Joren's fan girls killed him? I thought he died during the ordeal," Becky said with a puzzled look.
"He did," Owen said gravely, "But it wasn't the Chamber that killed him."
"It wasn't?" the fan girls chorused.
"Nope," Owen said, "It was his fan girls." All the fan girls gasped.
"What did they do?" Gretchen whispered.
"Half an hour before he left, they snuck in with bows and killed him," Owen said quietly.
"He looked like he had lost all the hope of sunrise," Rose whispered.
"You would too if your fans turned on you," Leah replied. Suddenly she started giggling uncontrollably. The other girls joined in and soon they were all cracking up.
"What's so jolly and funny?" Owe asked in a confused manner.
"It's that we were Joren's fan girls for a while," Leah said between laughs, "But when you came, we decided we liked you better."
"We never quite forgave him for beating you when you were pages," Samantha explained, "We had to find some way to get back at him."
"You mean... you killed Joren?" Owen asked pathetically.
"Oh, that's right, we did!" Samantha said and laughed.
"It was fun, wasn't it? With all the blood and the guts... ah the good days," Rose giggled. The others joined in.
"Wait! We didn't kill him! We tranquilized him! They thought he was dead, so they buried him alive!" Leah said after a minute.
"Do you think we used too strong a tranquilizer?" Rose pondered aloud.
Owen ran.
"After him, girls!" Leah yelled, pulling out a crossbow and a quiver of tranquilizer darts. All the girls cheered and pulled out bows and darts of their own. All let out a war cry and rushed down the road where Owen had ran.
Running as fast as he could, Owen sped to the castle and burst into Lord Wyldon's office.
"My Lord, my lord. Help me! HELP ME!" Owen screamed. Lord Wyldon looked up mildly from his paperwork.
"Help you with what?" He inquired.
"THEY'RE AFTER ME!"
"Who's after you?"
"THE RABID FAN GIRLS!" Owen yelled, and began running around in circles.
"Rabid fan girls?" Wyldon repeated incredulously.
"They're crazy! They trapped me with chicken nuggets, stuck me with thorns and they killed-"Owen stopped abruptly as Leah, Samantha, Becky, Gretchen, and Rose all burst into the room. Leah walked over to Owen and grabbed him. With a tranquilizer resting on his neck, she kissed him on the cheek and whispered, "A good squire never tells..."
"What business have you with my squire?" Lord Wyldon demanded.
"Oh, shut up, you old fart," Leah said impatiently.
"That's Lord Wyldon to you. I demand proper respect!"
"Samantha?" Leah said. Calmly, Samantha pulled out her crossbow, loaded a tranquilizer dart, and shot Lord Wyldon in the shoulder.
"OH MY GOSH, YOU JUST KILLED MY MASTER!" Owen yelled.
"Shut up kid. It's a tranquilizer. He'll be up in, oh, I'd say about five hours," Samantha said confidently.
"Five hours?!" Owen exclaimed.
"And he won't remember a thing," Leah said smugly, "We made the formula ourselves."
"On second thought, we'd better give you some, too... to add to the over all effect of kidnapping you and knocking a lord out that could have us killed for this, but we shouldn't think about that because he won't even know we were even here... so I'll just shut up," Rose thought aloud. The last thing Owen remembered before he blacked out was a dart aiming straight at his chest.