It breaks Aaron's heart having to lie to him. Everytime he cracks a little more when he sees the sadness in his lover's eyes. It tears him apart, asunder, leaves his core shattered, not being able to tell him that the friend he is grieving for, is actually alive and more or less fine. She is living in Europe, has taken on yet another identity while they are all trying to find the man who tried to kill her. She has been there before, if it weren't so tragic, it would actually amuse him that they all believe that she's dead without question.

Aaron Hotchner hates lying. It is a part of his job, pretenting to sympathize with criminals to get them to confess or to let go of hostages and through years of training he knows he has become a good liar. Still it is not something he enjoys doing. But this is different. Keeping something from the man he loves, worships and adores, making him feel a pain he doesn't have to feel, it is burying Hotchner alive. He knows he doesn't have a choice. He knows that only Agent Jennifer Jareau and Emily Prentiss' mother can know about it as long as Ian Doyle is still at large, but that doesn't change the fact that he is feeling like scum, lying next to Spencer in bed, watching him as his tears slowly subside.

„I am sorry, Aaron, I know it's been two weeks but..."
„Shh, it's okay"

„No, it's not. I'm crying all the time, like a baby, when I should pull myself together. I mean we all miss her yet you are as stoic as ever"

„Spencer, it is okay. Crying is not a weakness. Spencer..."

„What is it?"

„You, you love me with that everlasting... I really believe that you love me"

„I do, Aaron, I love you"

„Spencer, I need to know something, I need to ask you something"

„Sure, anything"

„What could you never forgive me?"
„What?"

„What is the thing you could never forgive me for?"

„Where is this coming from, Aaron?"
„Please, Spencer, answer the question"

„What I could never forgive you... If you were to tell somebody things I told you in private, I guess. If you told anyone what I look like naked"

„You mean graceful, ethereal, beautiful, delicious..."

„Aaron!"

„I'm sorry but that's how you look..."

„Aaron!"

„Seriously, these are the things you could never forgive me?"

„I wish. Oh, Aaron, I wish I could tell you I could never forgive you for doing something like this. I wish I could tell you I'd never forgive you for breaking the law, for killing somebody. I wish I could tell you I could never forgive you for cheating on me. I wish I could tell you I could never forgive you for leaving me..."

„But?"

„But I am afraid there is nothing I could never forgive you"

And when Spencer kisses him passionately to confirm these words, Aaron feels both more guilty and more relieved than he had before. He feels more guilt because he does not deserve Spencer. He does not deserve the trust Spencer puts in him or the unconditional love he offers him. He wants him to be happy, to have somebody who isn't lying to him. But he loves Spencer just as much as Spencer loves him. And he swears to himself, he will do everything possible to ease his pain. He swears to himself, he'll make all this up to Spencer. Aaron knows that neither of them can predict what is going to happen and Spencer might change his mind. He might have said these words without considering all the possibilities Aaron could wrong him and when it came down to it, he might realize that he could never forgive him for lying to him about the death of Emily Prentiss. But for tonight Aaron feels a little bit better and he pulls Spencer into his arms.