Hello, all. Sorry for being MIA. I know a lot of you are waiting for an update to The Weight of Expectation, sorry the wait is going to continue for a bit. Working that story is driving me nuts. I'll have it up eventually. Hopefully this little 2-shot makes up for it in some small way. This is a future fic and somewhat of a Jackson character study set somewhere after season 10, so everything that has happened up to 10x15 is cannon, the rest is pure speculation and imagination! Beware: this story is un-beta'ed, there's lots of dialogue, and some angst so if that's not your thing, then steer clear of this story.
Note: All references to Harper Avery will pertain to Jackson's father (not grandfather) unless stated otherwise.
Here Be Dragons
April Kepner-Avery wasn't always a very observant person. She didn't sit and watch, she wasn't still. She moved; sometimes erratically, sometimes dramatically. It was no surprise that she'd found her calling in trauma, a specialty that required constant action, quick analysis, fast thinking.
Her husband was the opposite. Jackson was thoughtful, calm. His actions were measured. His specialty, Plastics, was also no surprise. Rationale went into figuring out how to reattach someones skin almost seamlessly. He had to listen to his patients desires and concerns, process them, and to the best of his ability - give them the results they were looking for.
In short, they were complete opposites but somehow they worked, fit together as seamlessly as reattached skin, and loved as dramatically as any two people could.
But (and there is always a but, isn't there?) even the most well matched of people face the unpredictable, the unplanned, the unexpected; the dragons.
How they slay those dragons shows the real meat of a couple...
1
Watching Jackson was an indulgence: something April could do for hours on end and had. She knew when her husband was happy or upset or irritated. She knew when he was in the mood to grab her and make fast, passionate love, and when he wanted to go toe-curlingly slow. She knew him so well in fact, that she understood Jackson's current disposition to be angry. Not the kind of angry that made his brows draw together and his face frown up. No, he was the kind of angry that was so subtle, no one would know it unless they knew him.
The man standing before her husband, she didn't know at all. She'd heard a bit about him here and there over the years she'd known Jackson but that was it. He was a perfect stranger, except he wasn't, not quite. How could he be a stranger when he reminded her so much of her husband?
Standing in equal height to Jackson, he wore his graying, sandy hair cut close, his eyes were a more piercing than his son's green eyes, but the slant was the same, the dusky lashes. He even moved like her husband, smooth and confident. So he wasn't exactly a stranger, not quite.
"It's good to see you, Jackson." His voice was low and evenly measured. He extended his hand to his son, a proffering.
April watched as Jackson swallowed hard before replying, his hands remaining firmly in his lab coat pockets.
"I wish I could say the same."
The older man dropped his hand, breathing heavily. "I guess I deserve that."
"Guess so."
There were no inches being giving on Jackson's end and against her better judgement, April felt bad for his father. It was that nagging soft spot inside of her, the one that had made her (a full adult at the time) cry on her father's shoulder and plead with him not to sell their fat, ready-for-the-dinner-table pig (later named Jacks) to the Marshall's. The same soft spot that made her weepy every thanksgiving when those same Marshall's brought a freshly plucked turkey to their door for her mother to roast.
April sometimes felt too deeply, and now she was sympathizing with a man that she should probably be wary of for her husbands sake. She blamed it on the slump of his shoulders and the defeated look in his eye. He put her in the mind of a kicked puppy. It tugged at her chest.
"Jackson?" April called, stepping forward, making her presence known.
Her voice appeared to shake something within Jackson. He took a step back from his father, his attention snapping to her. He looked relieved. "April." Her name was a thank you on his lips. Wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her close to his side, he introduced her to his father. "This is Harper Avery Junior, my father. Harper, this is my wife, April." The pride in his voice was unmistakable. Even after all of the months that had passed since that fateful day last winter, she still got butterflies hearing him refer to her as his wife.
Harper's smile was Jackson's smile. Straight teeth, face alight. He looked in awe at his son and then to her. "April, very nice to meet you." He shuffled his feet, seemingly unsure if he should shake her hand, hug her or pat his son on the back.
April made the decision for him, offering her hand for a quick, slightly awkward greeting. "Thank you, you too."
Harper's hands were Jackson's hands. Long, slim fingers, strong, capable.
After an unbearably long silence where Jackson and April stared at Harper while he stared at them, April forced her lagging brain to come up with something to say. "So what brings you here… to Seattle?"
"Yes - uh - a case. I'm working on a case at The University of Washington."
"Of course." Jackson's tone was sardonic. "What else would bring you out of your self-imposed exile?"
"Son, I wanted to see you as well."
Her husband noticeably flinched at the 'son' endearment. "I find that hard to believe," he replied.
"I don't expect you to believe me but if I could just -"
"What? Explain?"
April would call what they were doing 'yelling' but the more contentious they became the lower their voices went. "Maybe now isn't the best time," April asserted, stopping the back and forth. "Maybe you would like to have dinner?" The proposal surprised Harper (she could tell from the way his brows rose) and angered Jackson (she could feel his disapproving eyes on her) but she pushed on. "At our place. Tonight."
"Yeah, I don't think that's a good-"
"I'd love to," Harper cut in before Jackson could rule the offer out all together.
"Great," April said with more enthusiasm than she felt. "I'll just write the address down. Be right back." Her hand was shaking as she scribbled the address to their apartment on a post-it that she grabbed from behind the front desk. She steadied herself with a deep breath and an internal pep-talk that convinced her she'd made the right decision in inviting Harper to their home. When she returned to Jackson's side the two men seemed to be partaking in a mutual silence which April strongly believed was for the best. Whatever they had to say to each other should be said in private, not in a room full of gossiping doctors and nurses.
After handing the post-it over and setting a time, April said her goodbye and pulled Jackson away with her.
"I really wish you wouldn't have done that," Jackson huffed. "I don't have anything to say to him."
"You may think that, Jackson, but it's obvious you both have a lot to say."
He stopped walking abruptly. Taking April's hand, he leaned against the wall by a water fountain. His eyes closed on a exhale. "I can't believe he showed up here." The anguish in her husband's voice was palpable.
"Jackson," April whispered, clasping his hand hard between hers. "Hey, I get it."
He shook his head. "You don't, April. You have no idea."
That was a point she had to concede. April really had no concept how he was feeling inside. She could imagine, she could empathize, but she'd never know his pain. April had always had her father in her life; sheltering her, guiding, loving and forgiving. How could she understand? "Let's just make it through tonight, okay? You can get it all out with him in private."
Jackson sighed, resigned. "Alright."
"Alright?" A hopeful smile cracked the corners of April's mouth.
"Yes, Alright." Jackson pulled her to him. "Anything for you," he murmured, bending to kiss her. "See you tonight."
"Okay."
April followed her husband's retreating form as he walked away. The smile that had tilted the corners of her mouth just moments before; quickly souring.
Dinner at the Avery's usually meant a three course meal minimum. April was nothing short of a fantastic hostess. She loved to entertain their friends whenever she could come up with a reason to have a get-together at their apartment.
Their families were another story. The first time Jackson and April brought their families together had turned into a big disaster when Kimmie confiscated a very expensive bottle of Merlot, and hid out in Jackson and April's bedroom drinking it only to emerge a walking, talking tornado. Catherine had been thoroughly entertained until Kimmie decided that the way in which Jackson ruined April's dream wedding was wrong. Libby and Alice chirped their agreement. With Jackson under attack, Catherine became terribly affronted and made that well known to all of the Kepner's. Jackson's grandfather of course backed up his daughter-in-law, which April's mom didn't take kindly to, when he "suggested" that maybe April might be a gold digger, otherwise why would she run off with his Jackie at her dream wedding? Karen Kepner had burst into hysterical tears. And then an huge argument ensued between the Avery's and the Kepner's as Jackson and April looked on in horror.
After that fiasco, they decided to never entertain both their families together again, and that when they entertained the Kepner's, all alcohol would be locked away.
Tonight would be a different type of entertaining. There would be no funny exchanging of medical stories between friends, or arguments between family. There would be tension and awkwardness and questions that Jackson wasn't sure he wanted to know the answers to.
April had to work later than she thought she would, so Jackson was left to decide the menu. He stopped at a pizza place on his way home and picked up a large pepperoni. He knew April would have created a beautiful meal if she'd had the time, but his father didn't deserve her kindness anyway so pizza it was. He arrived home fifteen minutes before his father was set to arrive, giving him enough time for a quick shower and to straighten up a little.
Time ticked by and there was no Harper Avery Jr. He checked his watch, the clock on the stove and the microwave.
Ten minutes late, fifteen, twenty, an hour. He wasn't coming.
It was the story of Jackson's life: Invite dad to his little league game, dad never came. High school graduation; no show. College graduation; he sent a card. It read: "congratulations graduate" that was it.
Jackson hadn't really thought this time would be different, even if he secretly wanted it to be.
A key clicked in the door. Jackson wasn't sure when it had happened, but he'd come to find comfort in that sound. It signaled that his wife was home, that he'd have a soft place to land after a long day, that his life was pretty damn great. So what, Harper didn't show? He had April and that was more than enough. "Hey," he called as she walked in.
"Hey, I got takeout from that really good place on the corner by Joe's," April announced tipping up on her tip toes to give him a kiss. Her eyes flicked to the living room, her expression dropping. "He didn't show?" The disappointment in her voice was apparent.
"No."
"I'm sorry, Jackson. I shouldn't have forced it." April set the bag of takeout on the kitchen counter then discreetly wiped at her eyes.
Now Jackson was mad. It was one thing to let him down, but to let April down was unforgivable.
"Hey, hey." He pulled her into his chest. "Don't be."
"It's just -" Her words were muffled against his chest. "You were right, it was a bad idea."
"You couldn't have known."
April pulled back. "Look at me?" She said exasperated. "You're comforting me and he did this to you."
Jackson tilted his head, studying her face. "He did it to you, too."
April busied herself by pulling out the takeout. "You know what? I'm going to shower. How about takeout and pizza by candlelight when I get out?"
Jackson couldn't help but smile at April's attempt to make the best out of a crappy situation. "Sounds perfect." He caught her arm as she started for their room. "I love you."
April flattened her palm against his chest. "I love you, too, Jackson. I really wish-"
"No more about my father, okay?"
"Okay."
He grinned down at her. "How about we take that shower together?"
"But you already showered," she argued, cutely missing the point.
"I know."
"Oh. Oh." She turned to walk away, then coyly looking back, red curls bouncing between her shoulder blades, she asked, "You coming, Mr. Avery?"
How could he ever resist?
Nervous didn't begin to explain the junior Harper Avery's current disposition. He'd spent way too much time in the specialty store looking for the perfect bottle of wine to take his son. As he walked the isles (picking up bottles, setting them back down) it hit him just how little he knew his own child. He didn't know if Jackson drank red wine or white or if he didn't drink wine at all and would prefer a bottle of top shelf Brandy or Vodka or should he just take beer? After he decided on a bottle of Chardonnay that the teller pushed him into getting, he stared for even longer at flowers to take to April. Did she like roses? Pink, white, yellow? Or was she a lily type of person? He groaned and grabbed a selection of purple tulips that reminded him of Spring, hence April, and set out to the address on the post-it.
He was late. Over an hour late, but better late than never, right?
As he knocked at the door, his heart pounded in his chest. His stomach felt on edge.
He didn't know his son at all and Jackson was angry with him, rightfully so. This night could go badly. Very, very badly.
When there was no answer, he knocked again.
This time he heard fumbling with the lock and hushed voices on the other side of the door. Jackson pulled it ajar and poked his head out. "Oh."
His son was wearing only a pair of sweats. "Did I catch you at a bad time. Am I too late?"
"Actually, yeah."
"Jackson, who is it?"
Harper couldn't see April but he would bet that she was in a similar state of undress.
"Nobody," Jackson responded, staring him straight in the eye.
That took the wind out of his sails. "Look, Jackson-"
The small voice of his son's wife made Jackson look away and behind the door.
They spoke in hushed tones. A lovers quarrel over him.
After a moment, Jackson reappeared. "Come in," he said, begrudgingly opening the door wider and stepping aside so that Harper could pass.
He took in his son's apartment in one quick sweep. It was very grown up, sophisticated, very Avery. "Nice place."
"Thanks."
April, who had disappeared before he walked in, now reappeared. She was wearing jeans and a t shirt, her red hair was wet and pulled into a ponytail. "'Hi."
"Hello. Sorry for being late."
Something passed between she and his son as April handed Jackson a shirt, something that Harper couldn't make out. It was the secret language of lovers. He wasn't privy.
"That's okay, she said. You're here now. Oh!" She walked to the table and blew out two lit candles.
So he'd interrupted them. "For you," he extended the tulips to April, a peace offering.
Her eyes went wide. "Oh. Um. Thank you," she said, taking them. "How sweet."
"I didn't know if you'd like roses or lily's… tulips."
Jackson shoved his shirt over his head and pushed his arms through. "Wild flowers," Jackson informed, adjusting his shirt.
"I'll remember that next time."
"If there is a next time," Jackson grumbled under his breath.
"These are fine." The nudge April gave his son didn't go unnoticed. "They're gorgeous. I'm going to put them in a vase."
April left them standing there and went to poke around in the kitchen but her stare, he noted, never quite left them.
"I brought white," Harper handed Jackson the bottle of wine he'd painstakingly decided on.
The muscle in his son's jaw jumped, similar to his when he was agitated. "We're more red wine drinkers."
Jackson didn't reach for the bottle so Harper set it down on the table. "Pizza," he remarked.
"And takeout," April chirped. "Hope that's okay."
They ate in a strained silence that his son's wife did her best to fill up with encouraging topics that should have led to great conversations but instead went nowhere. Harper appreciated her effort but Jackson wasn't biting and he was floundering, faced with the hard truth that he really didn't know his son. Pushing that reality down because he couldn't face it, not here not now, he decided to try a safe subject. "So how did you two meet?" he tried.
Jackson cleared his throat, glancing across the table at April. "We met as interns at the former Mercy West."
So there was a topic Jackson would talk freely about.
"Before the merger then?"
"You know about the merger?" April asked. Where Jackson seemed to shy away from more hard-hitting topics, April had no problem diving head first into them. He respected that about her, but it admittedly put him on edge.
"I keep up with most medical news," he assured her. "So you've been together for years then?" Harper tried to steer the conversation away from himself.
Another shared look between them. "No, not years," April told him.
"We were friends first," Jackson added.
"Good foundation for a relationship."
"Yeah," Jackson agreed, smiling.
"Where have you been practicing... if you don't mind me asking?" April inquired.
Harper cleared his throat, reaching for his wine glass. "I have a private practice in Paris, France."
"Nice."
He smiled at April. He had misjudged her. She wan't the mild do-well wife he'd initially read her to be when she invited him to dinner. Not at all. She had teeth, sharp ones, and she used them. "Indeed."
"So what do you do when you're not working?" The annoyance in Jackson's voice did not go unnoticed.
"Well, I travel."
"Really? Did you remarry? Have a new family?"
Harper choked on his wine. He coughed hard into his napkin.
"I'll get some water," April excused herself.
When Harper caught his breath again he found his son lounging back in his chair staring at him, waiting. "So…?"
"No. I didn't remarry and I didn't have any more kids. After the way things ended with… it wouldn't have been right."
Jackson leaned forward, picking up his glass. "How considerate of you," he said cynically before taking a sip.
"Son, I'd really like to explain myself."
"I don't need an explanation. Maybe when I was ten and the only kid whose father didn't show up to Boy Scouts camping trips. Or when I was 13 and got my first girlfriend, maybe I needed you then. When I went to medical school; would have been nice to get some advice from you. But I'm thirty-one now, I'm a grown man. I'm married. What could you possibly have to tell me that would matter or change anything this late in the game?"
"Some water," April said. Her gaze was fixated on Jackson as she set the glass down, communicating in that secretive language again. "Well, I have an early morning," she announced.
Jackson and Harper both stood.
"Thank you for your hospitality, April. I hope to see you around the hospital."
"You're welcome and that would be nice." Her eyes followed Jackson as he made his way to her side.
"I'll be there in a few."
Harper diverted his eyes to the panoramic view of the city while his son kissed his wife. He heard a whispered "love you" from them both and then April was gone.
"You've made a really nice life for yourself," he said standing before the windows, looking out. His son had, despite Harper not being there to guide him, turned out really well. Harper knew his father and Catherine wouldn't have had it any other way, though.
Jackson joined him. "Thanks."
"How is Catherine?"
"She''s-" He seemed to struggle for the right words, "-herself. In a relationship, running the foundation."
"She always excelled at that stuff." Where he had failed, Catherine had been everything that the elder Harper Avery could dream of in a child. Smart, dedicated, loyal to the family name.
"Look, Harper. Its been... interesting but I'm tired and ready for this night to end so-"
"Of course." Harper faced his son. "Thanks for having me. Maybe one day we can really talk."
"Maybe."
Harper stood outside of his son's apartment long after the door had been closed. After he'd left Boston, he didn't spend much time thinking about what he'd left behind. He didn't dwell on his family; not his overbearing father, or talented wife, not even his little boy who had looked up to him like he was the greatest person on the planet. He couldn't think about them because he'd remember how hard his father had worked to build the Avery name, and how wonderful and passionate Catherine was, how Jackson thought of him as a super hero.
It had been a bad idea to drop in on Jackson, but it felt necessary. Harper was reaching a point in his life where he had more days behind him than in front of him. That kind of realization made a person reevaluate decisions. So he'd walked into Grey-Sloan and asked for Jackson Avery. Seeing the child he'd left behind (a virtual mirror of himself, save his mothers' coloring) had floored him. He'd always known that he was missing something by leaving. He just never knew exactly what it was. Seeing Jackson, being in his presence, in his home, Harper now understood that what he'd been missing all of those years had been his son.
"Where is he?"
April didn't have to turn around to know her that her mother-in-law was the one asking the question. She looked up just as Catherine reached the nurses station. Closing her chart, she replied. "Catherine! Good to see you. Jackson is in surgery right now. He should be out soon."
"Not Jackson, dear. Harper. Where is Harper?"
April worried her bottom lip. She hadn't thought about Catherine finding out that her ex husband was in town. "I don't know," she answered honestly.
Catherine huffed, exasperated. "I can't believe he had the nerve to show up at this hospital."
"Um, Catherine, there's something you should know."
Catherine's eyes narrowed. "What's that?"
"Jackson and I… we had dinner with Harper last night."
Catherine leaned in. "You did what?"
April looked around at the curious stares shooting in their direction. "Can we?" She motioned to an empty on call room.
As soon as the door was closed behind them, Catherine went into a tirade sharp enough to skin the hide off a cow. April couldn't do anything but try to explain whenever Catherine let her get a word in edgewise. Explanations were useless anyway, since Catherine was having none of it. After Catherine had gotten it all out she took a deep breath. "How is Jackson?"
April wished she could say her husband was great, splendid, never better - but the truth was he wasn't any of those things at all. "He's been... withdrawn."
Catherine sat down heavily on the thin on-call room bed. "I'm not surprised. Jackson hasn't seen his father since he was a little boy."
And she had forced his hand in sitting down with the man and now her husband was barely talking to her. Tears stung the back of her eyes. "It's my fault and I feel horrible. If I wouldn't have invited him - if I had just left well enough alone." April heaved a pitiful cry, threw her hands up, and sat down next to Catherine.
"Here, here." Catherine wrapped an arm around April's shoulder. As sharp as Catherine could be, she was first and foremost a mother. "This is my fault. I knew he was coming, I should have warned Jackson. I didn't think he's actually go looking for him though. He's never done it before."
Catherine's admission about knowing Harper was coming surprised April. "Wait," she said sitting upright. "You knew he was coming?"
Catherine sprang to her feet. "I need to find Jackson, what OR is he in?"
April stood. "How exactly did you know he was coming? You've been in contact with him?"
"April, I don't have time to discuss this."
"Make time." April couldn't believe she'd just spoken like that to Catherine of all people. She slapped a hand over her mouth.
Catherine spun on her heel, facing April, surprise contorting her face into a caricature of sorts.
"Or not?" April added in a very small voice.
"Oh, what-the-hell! Harper is here for us to split assets and sign divorce papers."
"What?" April was stunned. "You're still married to him?"
"Yes."
"Really?"
"Yes. Jackson doesn't know and I don't want him to know."
April shook her head. "I can't keep secrets from Jackson."
"That's really sweet, April, and I appreciate that you love my baby so much, but you're going to have to keep this to yourself. Like you said, Jackson has been withdrawn. Do you really want to send him retreating further by telling him that his parents are still married?"
April thought about it. Catherine did have a valid point but it didn't feel right; lying. "So Harper's lying to him and you are too, now I will be. If he finds out, he might not forgive me."
Catherine grabbed April's hands imploring her to see things her way. "Then we make sure he doesn't find out."
Catherine Avery had called her soon to be ex-husband five times in the hour with no response. It wasn't surprising, but it was annoying. Harper had always been that way even before they married. Distant, quiet, hard to understand. But he'd also had his moments of romanticism. He was idealistic and free spirited, handsome and witty. She had fallen in love with the latter Harper and tried to find a way to deal with the former. Unfortunately, that hadn't lasted very long and their marriage dissipated.
There had been no blow up, no fanfare, they simply dissolved into nothingness over time. When Harper left it hadn't been unexpected, though is decision to not return home, even periodically for Jackson, had been.
She could have divorced him years ago, but he insisted that she remain an Avery and take his place at the foundation. It had seemed like a good idea at the time and she'd had the backing of the elder Harper - so, young and naive, she had agreed. That decision had worked out very well for her. She'd taken up the reigns at the foundation, helped the senior Harper form it into what it was today. She'd left her mark.
But what exactly did that mean if it resulted in her only son being mad at her for lying to him most of his life. Though it wasn't that she had ever told Jackson that she and Harper were divorced, but she'd let him assume it and never corrected the assumption.
Now, Harper was back and meddling in things he shouldn't be. The last thing she thought he'd do was seek out Jackson. When she'd gotten word from Richard that he'd shown up, Catherine was on the first thing smoking from Boston to see the mess he'd left in his wake. And what a mess it was. April was crying, Jackson wasn't talking and she was close to being outed as a liar.
Catherine rounded a corner and entered an observation deck. She hit the intercom. "Hey sweetheart."
Jackson looked up. She could tell he was frowning behind the mask. She smiled at him anyway and sat down.
Jackson was her pride and joy. For a long time she worried that he might end up like his father but he'd stepped up when it counted and had become a man that people could depend on. He was a great son, a great husband, a great hospital administrator. She wondered how long it would take his father to mess all of that up?
Jackson met his mom in the empty board room. He had a strong suspicion as to why she had shown up, but he was sure she'd be happy to find out that he wasn't pressed for a relationship with his father and he'd been avoiding Harper's calls and texts since he'd last seen him.
"I know what this is about," he said, taking a seat at the head of the table.
"Do you?" Catherine sat down in the seat to his right.
"I'm not looking for a relationship with him so you can stop worrying."
"I'm not worried."
She lied horribly. Her voice always went up an octave and she drew out her last word, placing too much emphasis on it.
Jackson gave her a look that said he wasn't buying it. She waved him off. "If you say you're not then I believe you. It's best not to go down that road anyway. Nothing there but heartbreak."
He figured as much which was why he was avoiding his father at all costs. Still, there was a part of him that couldn't help but be curious. That part wanted to dive into a relationship with his father head first, find out everything there was to know about him. He saw bits of himself in his father and was a strange thing to find yourself in a stranger. But if he sought the questions he was looking for then what? Would his life be improved for it? He didn't know and he wasn't at a point in his life where he wanted to take a chance and find out.
"April says that you're upset, not talking much."
"I'm not upset."
Now he was lying. He was upset but not with April. He was upset with himself for letting his father's reemergence in his life screw with his head.
"Then why would she say that?"
"I don't know; she's April, she worries?"
"Do you really think I believe anything you're saying. I'm your mother, I know when something is bothering you."
"Mom." His voice was a warning. He didn't feel like going there with her.
She put her hands up like a white flag. "Fine, I get that you don't want to talk to me about it but you should share it with your wife."
Jackson looked skeptical. The words coming out of his mother's mouth surely didn't belong to her. "You've been fighting tooth and nail to keep me your "baby boy" since you found out I was married and now you suddenly want me to talk to April and not you?"
His mother sighed. "I was wrong."
Jackson's brows shot up in surprise. "Wow."
"Stop it," she chastised.
"Sorry, I'm just surprised. I've never heard you say that before… can you say it again?"
"Never."
"Fair enough."
They shared a smile.
"But you should tell her. Whatever you have going on in your head, don't leave April to wonder. Listen to your mama on this one."
Jackson nodded. "I will." The words tasted like a lie on his tongue.
"Good." Catherine seemed satisfied. She leaned over and kissed his cheek then wiped her lipstick away. "I'm off to find Richard."
Jackson was left alone in the boardroom. He stared out over the empty seats from his place at the head of the table. This huge responsibility had been handed to him. He didn't go looking for it, he hadn't even wanted it. One day he woke up a surgeon, and that night had gone to bed majority owner of a hospital not having done anything to deserve it other than being born an Avery.
If Catherine hadn't forced it on him would he have been content with not pursuing more? Would his passions have taken him out of Seattle? Would he have eventually shirked his legacy like his father?
The answers to those questions were too close to yes for his liking.
April prepared food like she was cooking for ten, not two. She accounted it to her farm-girl upbringing. Growing up in the way she had, getting up before the sun and making enough food to feed an army then coming home at night to do the same thing, was a hard habit to break. She didn't know how to cook to scale. Her fellow Attending's thanked her for it since the fridge in the Attending's lounge was always full of food courtesy of her over-cooking. But her husband would rather she didn't feed the whole hospital on a regular basis.
It had taken much restraint to forgo the family pack of steaks at the store and instead go to the butcher and get two nice filet's cut to order. Even more restraint was taken to keep the side dishes down to a salad and baked potato. This meal was for just the two of them. It was Jackson's favorite and she was making it specifically for him, for tonight.
Her motives for this romantic dinner were not entirely pure. She wanted to make up for the disastrous dinner with his father, she'd been beating herself up about what a bad idea that had been for days. And there was something else she wanted to discuss, something that she hoped Jackson would be receptive to.
Jackson walked in the door just as she set their plates on the table.
"Right on time," she said.
He stopped in his tracks, his eyes landing on her in wide appreciation. "You look so sexy."
April couldn't help her blush. She looked away and pushed her curled hair behind her ear. "I wore this just for you." It wasn't something she would normally wear because they didn't get out of the hospital much and the places where she could wear the tight, strapless mini dress that hit right below her ass were few, but tonight was special. "You like?" She teased.
"I love."
"Come, sit."
Jackson closed in on her. She could see the predatory intent in his green eyes and it made her hot all over. "How am I supposed to focus on eating when the only thing I want to devour is you?" He pressed her body against the counter with his own, his fingers trailed up the back of her thighs.
April clamped her inner thighs together, trying to fight the increasingly pleasing throb between her legs. He did this to her always, turned her wanton and feverish. She bit back a moan as his lips met her neck, the scruff of his beard scraped enticingly against the crook of her neck and she desperately wanted to feel that scruff somewhere else, somewhere lower. She pushed him back. "Later," she told him, short of breath. She tried to extricate herself from him but Jackson didn't budge.
"I've hardly seen you in days, dinner can wait." He wasn't patient with his kiss, it was intense, demanding. Their mouths fought for superiority, nipping and biting. They became lost in the dance they were so familiar with, pushing and pulling and grabbing. "Should we take this to the bed?" He breathed warmly against her mouth.
April's dress was up around her hips, the delicate panties she'd picked out just for him, down her thighs. "Wait." She tried feebly to bat him away but Jackson hooked his finger to her panties, dragging them further down until they dropped at her ankles and he followed. "Oh God." It was what she wanted. What she wanted really, really bad, but there was something else. Something she needed to say... but Jackson was spreading her legs apart with his hand and then his tongue flicked hotly between her legs, his scruff rubbing delightfully between her thighs. April bit down on her bottom lip, her eyes closing on a sigh. She cupped the back of his head, urging him to go faster, lick harder, to do more - and he answered, oh did he answer.
Jackson knew he was a lucky man for many reasons, the most important one being that April was his wife. As he watched her lithe form sleeping beside him, he wondered what he'd done to deserve her? He'd walked away, didn't try to understand. He started seeing someone else seconds after he broke it off with her. He didn't tell her he wanted her when he knew he did. He let her go back to another man when he shouldn't have. He'd almost watched her marry that man all because of his pride.
Jackson moved red hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear. Her lashes fluttered.
"You're still up." she whispered, turning her naked body into his.
"Yeah."
"Watching t.v.?" He could hear in her voice that she was drifting back to sleep.
"Nah, something better."
Catherine Avery dropped her purse unceremoniously onto the neatly appointed table. "You went to see Jackson."
Piercing blue eyes stared up at her. Time had done Harper Junior good, she couldn't deny that.
"You look great, Catherine," he said, standing to pull her chair out for her.
"Thanks. You don't look so bad yourself." She took her seat and waited for him to join her before getting back to her point. "Now, why did you go to see Jackson?"
"I was curious."
"Really, that's it? You couldn't have just asked me how he was doing?"
Harper shook his head. "I had to see for myself."
"Well I hope that you're happy with the upset you caused," Catherine snapped.
"What upset?"
"Your son's wife feels like it was a huge mistake trying to get you two to talk because your son has gone into his reflective shell and refuses to share his feelings about you."
Harper pressed his fingers to his eyes. "It wasn't my intent to cause trouble."
"It never is."
He casually leaned back in his chair. "This is going so well," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
"What excuse did you give him for showing up?"
"I told him I was working on a case that brought me to the University of Washington."
"Hmm."
"I had to tell him something believable," Harper replied, defensively. He ran a hand through his sandy hair. It had gone white at the temples but it was still full.
Catherine waved her hand, dismissing him along with the likeness she saw to Jackson. She reached into her bag, coming out with a folded set of papers. "You can have your lawyer look them over. I'll need them signed before the week is out."
"Why the rush on these papers? We've been married for over thirty-four years and out of the blue you decide it's time to divorce."
"I have my reasons."
"I'm sure you do." He grinned at her.
His smile was magnetic and Catherine found that she was smiling back before she mentally admonished herself and stopped.
Catherine stood, hooking her purse on her shoulder.
"You're not going to stay and eat?" Harper asked, getting to his feet.
"No. Suddenly I don't have much of an appetite. Before the week is out," she reminded, pointing to the papers. "Take care, Harper."
April was late. It wasn't the first time she'd been late during her relationship with Jackson. There was the time when she was falling into bed with him left and right and beating herself up about it every step of the way. That had led to a spontaneous proposal, followed by a breakup when her excitement over not being pregnant had been too much for Jackson to deal with. She'd hurt him then.
The next time had been a two months after they'd gotten married. April had been scared but excited about the possibility. She knew it was early in their marriage but she couldn't think of anything that she wanted more than to have a baby with her husband. This time she didn't tell Jackson. She did what she should have done the first time and snagged a pregnancy test from a supply closet and shut herself in a restroom. She waited an achingly long sixty seconds before looking at the stick in her hand and then she screamed. She was pregnant. And then she cried.
She was pregnant.
April wrapped the pee stick up in paper towel and threw it away. She sought out Arizona to discreetly ask for a blood test just to be sure. The results were conclusive, she was having a baby. They were having a baby.
When she got home, Jackson was passed out on the couch. She put her stuff down and straddled him. He blinked slowly, staring up at her. "Why are you smiling like that?"
"Because. I know something you don't know," she sing-songed.
"Hey." He thrust his hips up and April playfully slapped his chest. "What is it?"
April couldn't contain her smile. "I'm pregnant."
"What?" His initial shock worried her.
"Pregnant," she repeated.
"Pregnant," he mimicked, his voice full of wonderment. April watched as his features went from confused to surprised to elated. "We're having a baby!"
She nodded rapidly. "Yes!"
Jackson pulled her down to him and kissed her silly.
They were amazingly happy for a week and then devastatingly sad. The obstetrician's only answer was that "it sometimes it happens." But they already knew that because they were doctors. There wasn't an explanation for why they'd lost their baby. They'd never know and they understood that, but it didn't stop the pain. It didn't stop them from having to live through the anger. It hadn't stopped April's tears or Jackson's subtle retreat into himself. No amount of understanding could stop the heartbreak of knowing that one day there was a tiny heartbeat inside of her and then one day it was gone.
This time April was wary. There wasn't any excitement, just an overwhelming feeling of uncertainty. She was three weeks late and hadn't even taken a test. Her reasoning for not finding out was simple; she felt that not knowing could save her from possible heartache. What she didn't know couldn't hurt her, right?
And then there was Jackson. He was walking around like a zombie wanting to do nothing but work and have sex. He'd taken her so many times in so many places that she was starting to feel used and that was irrational because he was her husband and he desired her. If only he would talk to her. If only she hadn't invited Harper into their lives. If only she had stayed on the pill after the last time. If only.
April stared at her naked reflection in the mirror. Her breasts were tender and swollen, her mood was weepy. She was most likely pregnant. She placed a tentative hand over her lower abdomen. "If you're in there, don't leave us," she whispered.
Jackson wished he could say he was surprised to find his father waiting for him when he walked into Grey-Sloan, but the truth was he'd been expecting him to show up any day.
"You're still here," Jackson commented unfazed by the other mans reappearance.
"If you don't mind, I'd like to spend the day with you. Watch some of your cases, maybe catch one of your surgeries."
That stopped Jackson cold. "You're serious?" Jackson faced his father in a challenging way and his father took the same stance.
"Yes."
There was a long silence where Jackson stared curiously at Harper, trying to figure out what exactly his game was. "Okay," Jackson finally agreed.
It wasn't that bad, Jackson reluctantly decided, having his father around. The man was a wealth of information, sometimes unneeded, sometimes unwanted, but most times interesting and surprisingly helpful. If he'd had his father around his whole life to dole out unneeded, unwanted but most times interesting and surprisingly helpful information, who knew where he'd be in life right now. That thought scared him, because his life was good. It was great actually.
"So when are you leaving?" Jackson asked when they sat down in the cafeteria for lunch.
Harper rubbed his scruff. "I don't know. I was thinking I might stick around a while longer. If that's okay with you?" His father's stare was direct.
"Don't you have patients or something back in France?"
"Yes, but I have a son here... whom I want to get to know."
Jackson shifted in his seat uncomfortably. How long had he wanted for a relationship with his father? And now that it was here staring him in the face, he wanted nothing more than to run from it. "You can't just walk out on your patients because you suddenly feel like it," he snapped. Jackson pushed away from the table. "I gotta go. I have rounds."
He felt shamefully childish as he walked away.
Trying to get to know his son was a lot harder than Harper thought it would be. For some naive reason, he thought that Jackson would be more receptive to his attempts, maybe open up a little and let him in. Day after day, he tried and day after day he failed in one way or another. He was slowly realizing that he wasn't going to get anywhere with Jackson without learning about him first and since he couldn't seem to learn anything about Jackson through Jackson, he decided to try the next best person.
Harper found April in the ER skillfully directing doctors, nurses and paramedics. As an observer, he could see what Jackson loved about April. She had no problem stepping up and getting her hands dirty, throwing herself into her job, but there was still an underlying sweetness, something warm and understanding. A perfectly balanced dichotomy.
She looked surprised when she noticed his presence but she handed off a chart to a passerby and maneuvered through the crush of people to reach him. "Dr. Avery, is everything alright?"
"Everything's fine. When you get a chance, may I talk to you in private?"
She was hesitant and he remembered what Catherine had told him about April thinking it had been a mistake to invite him into their home. He softened his approach. "Coffee when you get a chance. That's all I'm asking."
April worried her bottom lip between her teeth. "Okay. Maybe in an hour at the shop on the corner?"
"Perfect."
Harper watched April disappear back into the movement of the ER, putting people back together again, completely in her element.
A few things that April learned about Harper Avery Junior during their coffee meet up:
1) He took his coffee black.
2) He was very smart (no surprise there) and could charm the pants off of a snake.
3) He wasn't much like Jackson at all.
While April had initially thought that Jackson was very much like his father, thirty minutes alone with him had convinced her that they couldn't be anymore dissimilar if they tried. Harper was careless where Jackson was thoughtful. Harper was suave where Jackson was dapper.
What she couldn't quite figure out is what his angle was, what it was that he wanted with Jackson, with her? If he'd come to seattle to sign divorce papers then why was he still around?
She'd answered countless questions about Jackson as best she could without elaborating too much. She felt wrong disclosing so much about her husband to a man she wasn't sure he even wanted a relationship.
"You said that you two got married late last year, right?"
April gulped down the last of her coffee. "Yes."
"How did Jackson propose?"
"Um… he told me he loved me and that he wanted to be with me. We got married." That was the long and short of it as far as Harper's knowledge needed to go. "When will you be leaving?" April toyed with her empty cup of decaf.
"Funny, Jackson asked me the same thing today. Like I told him, I might stick around a while."
That set off alarms, buzzers, warnings in April's head. The intrusion of Harper into their lives had already put a perceptible distance between she and Jackson. She didn't want to be a jerk but she wanted him on the first thing smoking back to the City of Love.
"Is that wise?" She asked, hoping that she didn't sound as worried as she was. "I mean, maybe it's too much for Jackson right now."
"Too much for Jackson or too much for you." He tilted his head, staring at her in a ruminating manner.
April shot her gaze back to her cup. Now she was nervous and she was having a hard time dialing it back. "I don't… why would you say that?"
He leaned forward to force eye contact, his stare was direct. "I don't know, a feeling. Am I right?"
April narrowed her eyes, affronted. "You have no idea the trouble you've caused. Jackson isn't himself. He's…" she searched for a way to put his distance into words without sounding selfish and bratty. "He's different. So yes, if I could have it my way, you would be gone."
"April-"
"I have to get back to work," April interrupted, glancing down at her watch. As far as she was concerned the inquiry was over. She stood up quickly, careening the bag she forgot was sitting in her lap to the floor, it's contents spilling everywhere. "Crap." She bent to retrieve her things, her hands mixing with Harper's as he attempted to help. April carelessly shoved her belongings back into her bag and stood up, pushing hair behind her ear. Harper was standing before her with his hand extended, a sheet of paper between his fingers. April snatched the paper from his hand too quickly and stuffed it in her bag. "Thanks."
"You're welcome. Take care of yourself."
April found herself frowning hard as she walked out.
There was little April and Catherine had in common other than a mutual respect and an insane amount of love for Jackson. They were as different as night and day, but Catherine was finding that there was one commonality between them and that was the Junior Harper Avery Jr. He had to go.
When April called her close to hysterics, going on and on about Harper and how he told her he might stay for a while, Catherine shot up in bed. "Don't worry, baby. I'll take care of it."
Catherine slipped out of bed, leaving Richard behind to sleep and searched her suitcase for a phone number. She closed herself in the bathroom and turned the water on to drown out her talking before she dialed.
"Bonjour."
The ER was overflowing after a major pileup on the I-5. Doctors shouted orders to nurses and paramedics wheeled in a never ending stream of patients, rattling off injuries, handing them off, then running out to bring more in.
Jackson found April weaving in and out of gurneys, directing her ER like a chorus conductor. Jackson looked on, impressed, proud and slightly jealous. For all of his wife's perceived neurotic tendencies and spasticity, April was graceful under pressure. She had an uncanny ability to keep a level head while things went to shit around her. Jackson lacked that ability. He compartmentalized, unable to deal with everything at once like a well adjusted human being.
She was better than him. Had always been better than him and more and more he wondered how he had gotten so lucky.
"Jackson?"
"Hey." He faced his blood splattered wife swathed in yellow. "I have a consult."
"Oh."
They'd become this way, stilted and awkward. He hated it then hated it even more because it was his fault.
"Will you be home for dinner?"
"Yeah."
"Well, okay."
Someone called out for April and she ran off. Jackson watched her go, feeling her loss of her presence intensely.
He wanted, no, needed to talk to April. That was something he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt. The problem was that when he got the chance - when she flat out asked him - he couldn't or wouldn't (he wasn't sure which) tell her how fucked up he felt inside. Maybe it was because he didn't know how to express his feelings all that well (he wasn't a well adjusted human being, after all), maybe it was because he didn't want to talk about his father, maybe it was because he was a coward - he didn't know. All he knew for sure was that his once happy marriage seemed to be running through his fingers like sand and he wasn't doing enough to catch it.
April was annoyed with her husband and she hated herself for it. As he sat across the dinner table from her, head bent over his food, barely speaking, she wanted to do nothing more than to reach across the table and shake him. Violently. Instead she chewed harder than needed on a forkful of pasta.
"I want to talk," she declared, lowering her fork,
Jackson leaned back in his chair, interested. "Okay."
"What's going on with you and your father?"
He closed his eyes on a sigh. "April, I really don't want to get into this."
April rolled her eyes. He reacted just as she suspected he would. Clammed up and said nothing.
"I had coffee with him today."
The anger that flashed in his green eyes was unmistakable. "And why did you do that?"
"Because he asked."
"You couldn't have run it by me first?"
"I didn't see the need."
Jackson stared hard at her for a moment before he pushed away from the table, leaving her behind. April sat there in disbelief until she heard the shower start then she she got up and all but threw the dishes into the sink. She resented Harper and sometimes felt that she was dangerously close to hating him, which terrified her. She was a Christian, hate was frowned upon. She'd never said the word, let alone felt it and now here she was struggling with the foreign emotion. Trying to convince herself that what she felt for Harper wasn't hate but anger at how his arrival had strained her marriage. Before Harper they were never like this and now this was all they seemed to be.
If they weren't arguing about something stupid, they weren't talking at all or they were having sex - which didn't solve anything but at least made her feel connected to Jackson in some small way.
April walked into her room, blinking back the sting of tears. Jackson was there with a towel slung low on his waist. "Why won't you talk to me?"
"I don't know what you mean."
"Come on, Jackson. You're snapping at me like crazy. I wish you'd just tell me what you're feeling. I want you to let me in."
Jackson frowned at her. "Don't you know you're as in as anyone has ever been?"
"Maybe that was true in the past, but not lately. Ever since your dad showed up-"
"I don't want to talk about him. Why won't you let that go?"
"See, there you go, snapping at me."
"You call that snapping? We're having a conversation."
"Argument." April crossed her arms over her chest.
"Whatever." Jackson went into their closet. April followed.
"You did it again."
"What?"
"Snapped at me."
"April," he said defeatedly.
"I want to talk to you."
"So talk." He threw his hands out at his side when he didn't say anything. "I'm standing here waiting. Talk."
April felt her eyes well up for the second time. "Not like this." She turned her back on him, walking back out into their bedroom.
"You want to talk, then you don't want to talk," Jackson said following close behind. "Stop acting crazy and make up your mind."
"You're turning into a real asshole, not much unlike your father."
Jackson jerked back like she'd slapped him.
"Oh, God. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it." What was wrong with her, with them?
She felt like they were devolving faster than she could keep a handle on. Tearing at each other, snipping, hiding things, lying. April burst into tears.
Jackson grabbed her arms and pulled her to him. She buried her face against his bare chest. "What's happening to us?"
Tangling his fingers in her hair, Jackson tugged her head back so she was looking at him. He kissed her tear stained cheeks and then her mouth. She could taste her salty tears on his lips. "I love you," he whispered against her lips," backing her up to the bed.
They fell back with Jackson tearing at her clothes, yanking them off. Once he had her naked he slammed himself inside of her, snatching April's breath away. It didn't take long for her to climax. It never did lately. A squeeze of her tender nipples, a nip at her neck, the cupping of her ass, any little touch from him could send her tumbling over the edge. Jackson followed not long after and they lay there, completely sated with nothing resolved.
"You're all glowey."
"Glowey?" April repeated her friend's word uncomfortably.
Arizona shrugged. Yeah, glowey.
"Thanks? I think."
"No really. Your hair is shiny, your face is glowing. You look radiant. What's your secret? Good sex?"
It would be funny if the topic didn't make April insanely uncomfortable.
"That's it, huh. You two still in your honeymoon phase. I remember those days," Arizona said wistfully.
April moved closer to her friend so she couldn't be heard by anyone else. "I'm glowey, as you put it, because I'm pregnant."
Arizona's eyes grew wide. "What?"
"Yes." April smiled for the first time in ages. "12 weeks."
"Congratulations!" Arizona hugged April hard.
April lowered her voice. "If we can just keep this between us..."
Her friend nodded. "Of course. You guys want to keep it to yourself until you're further along, I get it."
"Arizona," April sighed. Arizona had been the first to know about the last baby since she'd given April the blood test. She also knew how devastating it had been to miscarry. However, she had no clue that April's marriage had hit a rough patch. "Jackson doesn't know yet."
Arizona's smile faded into worry. "Should I ask why?"
"No. Don't ask. Just keep it between us, okay?"
"Yeah, whatever you want."
April spent the next ten minutes on her knees, releasing her breakfast into the toilet.
Thanks for reading! The final part to this story will be up shortly. Just got to edit it.