A/N: This is a prompt which came from a drawing I did on tumblr. Prompted by a friend on tumblr who I might link this to if she is interested. I wanted to implement a more happier tone but there are instances of melancholy. Here are two long chapters for your enjoyment and I think I added enough of Hiroki suffering in this and I hope I break some hearts with this story.
Thank you for all for your wonderful comments on my fics. Tell me what you think and happy reading.
-Lucicelo
Whispers in the Darkness (Part One)
Hiroki made the journey inside of his home. He stumbled a few times but he placed his hand on the wall to steady him. In haste, he turned on the light through slamming his hand on switch. The light illuminated the hallway. Kicking off his leather shoes, he left them on the ground. He was too lazy to pick them up. No one went to visit him at his home, not even his parents. They gave up on trying to contact him for courtesy reasons. All they sent to him were omiai pictures of prospective brides. Beautiful women suited for the Kamijou name. Despite their outward appearance, they stirred no feelings inside of his heart. His stagnant self who went through the motions of everyday life. He wanted to sleep. Sleep his problems away while he rejected everything that hurt him.
His parents denied his sexual orientation. It angered him. Which made him cut ties with them but they always managed to locate him. They pounced on him, denying their only son was defective. His life turned darker in his teenage years. He chose to hide himself from everyone. Labeling himself as an introvert, he lead a solitary existence. His dreams turned into his escape. Having the image of a dark haired man with eyes as blue as they sky, he slept his days away.
His job as a literary professor gave him some social interaction. The other professors avoided him. Students had their noses in their books. Hands writing every word of his lectures on sheets of paper. They presented no rude behavior to him. He saw their blank faces when they lifted up their heads. No remote expressions as they filed inside of the room and sat on their seats. The scratching of their pens and pencils filled the classroom. Echoing inside of his mind as he droned on about his lecture. He enjoyed the words written on the text but his soul remained hollow.
It was as if he saw everything in black and white. In this world, nothing brought him joy.
From behind him, a sequence of bells rang. The loud sounds made Hiroki cringe as he covered his ears. Peeking over his shoulder, he saw the slot on his door jiggle. His frown grew deeper. His eyes didn't leave the mail slot and he listened for the bells again. He rubbed his eyes, he thought he imagined the corners of the door illuminated a sickly green. He guessed it was another proposition of a new bride who wanted to meet him.
At the thought, his stomach dropped. He turned all the way around and backed away from the door. Needing this distance brought him reassurance but it didn't rid him of the problem.
Not another one.
Every single day another call of bells came through his door when he returned from his job. New brides were mentioned through those letters. Their pictures sent in the mail, clogging up his box. His parents wanted him to warm up to the idea. He was getting married to someone else. A person he didn't care or love.
Their painted faces and awkward smiles. Kind eyes and long dark hair. Beautiful for other men in the world but not for him. He didn't want any of them. None of them.
His parent relentless pursuit to marry him off sickened him. These people lacked the kindness of his other parents. They supported his feelings for his husband. In fact, they didn't bat an eye when he confessed his love for his husband. Fuyumi held him in her arms, congratulating him with tears in her eyes. She cried along side his mother-in-law, who joined in the motherly embraces. His father-in-law pulled him into a tight hug, bawling about their wedding. His husband's kindness came from his father. Soshi patted his shoulder. His brown eyes told him everything. Filled with pride and joy.
Those reactions brought him relief. At least in another world he had the approval he desired.
His eyes went toward his left hand. The gold band was missing. No tan line. His finger was perfect in skin tone with no indentations. His finger was void of the pressure that the ring provided. The link to his marriage. A link to his husband's tender smile and encouraging words. He imagined his voice whispering in his ear to make it through the day. His comfortable warm presence.
Upon entering his dreams, he imagined his husband in front of him. His hand stretched out with a content smile. The red cloak he always wore bellowing in the wind. Telling him, welcome back, kissing his knuckles as he pulled him in his arms.
A small letter passed through the slot, landing right in front of his feet. Hiroki crouched down while he kept his eyes on an overhaul of large manila envelopes went into the slot. They littered the floor as Hiroki tore his gaze away from them. Ripping the envelope open, he took out the neatly folded letter. He got up on his feet and unfolded the paper. His eyes narrowed at the sender.
His father.
Which read: Hiroki, contact us immediately before we cut ties with you once and for all. Higurashi Aimi is a perfect wife. She is one of the candidates in the pile we sent out to you. Disregard your mother's tasteless picks. Do not mess this up.
The paper crinkled in Hiroki's hands as he crushed it in his hands. His hands trembled with fury.
"Fuck you. Go to you hell you miserable fool."
Hiroki threw the paper ball against the wall. Bouncing off and landing on the floor, he stepped on it. He kicked it away from him. Flinching back, he ran toward the small kitchen space and looked through his pantry. Once he found what he searched for, he grabbed all the alcoholic drinks he could carry. His arms were heavy with them as he went toward his bedroom.
He almost tripped on a book but he remained on his feet. A few of the bottles fell from his arms and crashed. Making a mess of the dirty floor. He managed not to slip on the alcohol and crack his skull. In his room, cobwebs filled every nook and cranny. Darkness spread through the cracks, making the room darker. The thick curtain concealed the light from the outside world from entering in. He avoided his dusty and unkempt books. He swayed and tried keeping a grip on all the bottles in his arms. Some had dropped earlier but he didn't care.
Opening a bottle, he chugged it down. He did the same to each bottle in his arms and dropped them on the floor. Ignoring the crashes, the fact the remaining the liquid stained his books, he kept his trek toward his bed. He stopped caring for his book collection a long time ago. Lack of care and maintenance after so many years had ruined them. The passages reminded him of the dull world he resided in.
A quake went through his body as his mind spun. His stomach churned and he felt the need to purge. He kept on drinking the alcohol. Dropping the rest on the ground, they shattered and nicked at his feet. He felt no pain. His knees hit the side of the bed. Making himself steady, he crawled on the bed. Laying on his side, he ignored the hardness of the bed. Scooting more up, he held his knees to his chest. He didn't want to fall off the bed before he went into his deep sleep.
It happened multiple times. Interrupting his return to his dreamland. His teeth clenched. Gripping the sheet, he closed his eyes. Counting backwards, he let out a deep sigh. Imagining everything in his dreams, he let his body slack onto the rock hard bed.
He wanted to go home.
The home which held everything that worked to his favor. No one hurt him like in his reality.
Moments later, he passed out.
Rustling out of unconsciousness, Hiroki's nose wrinkled.
Birds chirped high above him. He heard their flapping wings as they flew away. The sun hit him straight in the eyes. A fresh smell of soil reached his nose and his hand curled into a fists. Bits of grass were in between his fingers. Opening his eyes, he squinted them to accommodate the sun. When his eyes adjusted, he saw an array of trees surrounding him as he laid on the soft grass. His senses overloaded as he observed the area from his spot.
He couldn't believe it.
A huge smile formed on his face as he sat up. Looking down, his dull gray suit was replaced with a white thin shirt, tucked inside high waist brown slacks. He wiggled his toes inside of his boots. Inspecting his body, everything from before got replaced with comfortable clothing. He checked the area around him and picked up a rope bound book. Flipping through the pages, all of the words in his eyes turned legible. Getting up on his feet, a gust of wind hit the wet spot on his back. Shivering, he rubbed his arms and began walking through the forest. His legs were on autopilot.
Hiroki went onto a path without any grass. Leading toward a huge building off in the horizon. He hurried along, holding his book to his chest. Ignoring the feeling of the wet fabric clinging to his chest, he gulped. His heart quickened and he ducked away from a branch on time. The side doors of the castle came to view and someone stood there. His tall height and distinctive red cloak paused Hiroki in his stride.
Recognizing him as his husband, Hiroki hesitated in running to his side. He bit his lip, tugging it harder with each passing second. His husband walked around in front of him. Missing the fact he stood right behind him. All he waited for all day was to come back and see him. His fear of going back to his monotonous life made him stand still. Anything which made him pass him relocated him back to that hard and cold bed.
He didn't want to go back anytime soon.
The man turned and Hiroki saw his husband's dazzling smile and blue eye. "Hiro-san!" He ran toward his side, Hiroki noticed he slicked back his hair again. Not that he minded the style, he grew used his shaggy appearance when they stayed alone in a room together.
He kind of wanted to mess up his hair on purpose. Then again, it somehow messed up at the end of the day. His assistance wasn't required.
Hiroki uttered in nervousness. "Nowaki.."
Nowaki stopped in front of him with a big smile and pulled Hiroki into his arms. "Hiro-san, where have you wandered off to this time?" He pecked Hiroki's forehead, Hiroki's skin was cold to the touch. "Did you sleep after reading your literature in the forest again? You should take your warm cloak if this is going to happen often."
Hiroki shrugged his shoulders. "It happens." He wrapped his arms around Nowaki and burrowed his face into his chest.
Nowaki touched the wet spot on Hiroki's back as he sighed. "All of these sleeping habits of yours worry me." Taking off his red cloak, he took a step back and Hiroki lifted his head up. He put it on Hiroki's shoulders, smoothing it out. "One of these days I might catch you sleeping next to a lake if I'm not careful."
Hiroki huffed. "I'm not that bad. It's not like the last time where you found me in some bushes."
Nowaki snickered, "You are not helping yourself." He placed the clasp to make sure the cloak kept around Hiroki's shoulders. "So, is my beloved ready for lunch?"
"Lunch?"
"You woke up just in time and I came out here to search for you." Nowaki caressed Hiroki's face. "We can always have lunch in the library. The rest of the family are out visiting some neighboring lords and won't come back until dinner. So we can enjoy ourselves without anyone else disturbing us."
Hiroki arched a brow. "But..don't you have any duties now that your parents are gone for the day?"
Nowaki answered. "I finished everything I had to do." He lifted Hiroki's hand and kissed the back of his hand. "You have me for the rest of the day."
Hiroki's face warmed up as Nowaki gave his hand another kiss. "You can always stop doing that, you already got me to marry you." He knew Nowaki's answer, it was only to get him to confirm his husband's affections.
Nowaki smiled before giving his hand another kiss. "Never." He pulled Hiroki close to his chest and held his hand close to his chest. "I can't stop what comes naturally to me."
Hiroki's lips quirked up in time for Nowaki to kiss him. Nowaki's warm hand cradled his face as they lost each other in their contact. Wrapping his arms around Nowaki's body, he gripped the back of his jacket. Keeping him close, he put more pressure into their kiss. Nowaki responded with eagerness and they broke contact. For a moment, they stared at each other before locking lips again.
"Your highness!" A young lad exclaimed as he hurried to their side, his eyes widened when he saw their compromising position. He addressed Hiroki as well. "Ah, and your highness. Excuse my interruption."
Hiroki broke the kiss and hid his face in Nowaki's chest. The same guy found them again. Nowaki shielded him with his large frame but he felt his chest quivering from his laughter. Nowaki found it amusing that they still got caught with a simple kiss. Back in their courting stage, all of the staff and their parents caught them. No one managed to find them when they went toward much explicit territories.
A kiss was a harmless gesture. Nowaki saw no harm in expressing their love. He almost made a game out of which of the servants haven't caught them kissing. Hiroki still expressed slight mortification if the staff was one who frequented their presence.
The servant stopped near them and bowed with a red face. It seemed like he always caught them kissing and he had not gotten used to it. "The kitchen staff are wondering when you will have your lunch."
Nowaki answered, "We will have it in the library. Isn't that right, Hiro-san?" Hiroki mumbled a confirmation and Nowaki heard it well enough. "Yup. We will have our lunch in there."
"I'll tell them immediately, your excellency and your excellency." He bowed again before he jogged away toward the castle.
When he disappeared from sight, Nowaki kissed the top of Hiroki's head. "He's gone now."
"These people have to stop catching us. It's getting ridiculous. Don't they know a thing about atmosphere or waiting until we go out in the open ourselves?"
"Well...at least it wasn't when I got on my knees under the table to-"
Hiroki clasped his hand on Nowaki's mouth to cut him off. "Don't jinx it." Nowaki mumbled something else, the creases around his eyes gave away his amusement. "And don't say anything about what I do to you." He took his hand off of Nowaki's mouth and flicked his forehead. "I'm hungry, let's get going."
Nowaki interlaced their fingers in silence. He lead Hiroki down the usual path with a shortcut to their destination.
Hiroki's content smile didn't leave his face.
They spent a nice platter of sandwiches with tomato soup. Hiroki had gotten over his slight aversion to tomatoes after he had the head chef's cooking. Not to offend the Kamijou family's head chef but he didn't cater to his tastes. He always managed to tease him when he added something he hated into the food. Fuyumi's etiquette prevented him from picking them out. He didn't do anything to upset her. Whenever it happened, she never yelled at him. She talked to him at length before putting in her punishments.
Hiroki slurped the rest of his soup before drinking his last bit of wine. He didn't feel full. Half the time, he didn't hear the growl of an empty stomach. He claimed hunger but he didn't think he needed to eat anything. When he ate, he tasted every single flavor. This scared him a bit. It almost made it seem like his dreamland was real.
Then again, he felt every single one of Nowaki's touches when they slept together. When he woke up, his skin remembered each one of his kissed and his caresses. He shouldn't question anything about this place.
It made him over think and confuse his own mind.
Nowaki clasped his hands together. "I have a surprise for you."
"A surprise?" Hiroki looked up at Nowaki as he moved his plate away from him. "What did you do this time? Plant a whole rose garden like last time? Sanction this library for my collection?"
"No, silly!" Nowaki grinned as someone knocked on the door. "I'll go get it." He got up from his seat near the window and went to the door. "Yes?"
"I hope I didn't miss him again." Came a feminine voice, Hiroki's heart jolted when he heard that familiar tone.
"Not at all, he's right here." Nowaki opened the door and let his mother-in-law inside of the library. "I managed to catch him after one of his naps."
Fuyumi tutted. "Hiroki, you need to stop lazing around all the time." She smiled regardless. "You are married now, you can't sleep in random places like when you were a child."
Hiroki got up from his seat and almost ran to her side. He held her close in his arms and buried his nose in her hair. Hiroki basked in his Fuyumi's rose perfume. Her dark brown hair pinned back in an intricate style. He missed the bejeweled pins in her hair. She moved back and pressed her red lips against his cheek, leaving a mark. Her delicate hands brushed aside his bangs from his eyes as well as the lipstick mark on his cheek. Staining her fingertips.
They let out a laugh as she took out a handkerchief to clean her hands. Hiroki didn't once relent on his hug. At least he placed his hands on her sides as she gave him another peck on the cheek. Again, staining his cheek red. Fuyumi laughed this time while Hiroki had a playful frown.
Nowaki remained in his spot with the biggest smile on his face. It fascinated how every single time Hiroki saw his mother he ran to her side. Almost like each time was the first time he saw her. Fuyumi's presence always made Hiroki a lot better. If anything, a visit from either one of his parents had him in high spirits. It surprised him that they didn't question the prominent circles under Hiroki's eyes. They grew worse but it might turn out as a trick of the light. Hiroki had them since he met him as teenagers.
He saw her worried eyes lingering on her son whenever she left the castle. Fuyumi commented on Hiroki's constant napping each time she arrived. She suggested a tea to brew at night but Hiroki drank half of it before sleeping. Not that it helped at all. He still had nightmares. Maybe she knew the reason why Hiroki had a permanent look of tiredness when he slept often.
Pushing those thoughts from his mind, he let out a deep sigh. Thinking about such things would ruin the light atmosphere in the room. He didn't want them to notice his distracted face.
Hiroki lead her toward their seating area. "You need to get a better lipstick. Or at least a lighter one."
Fuyumi snickered. "Sweetie, there's nothing wrong with the color. Your cheek needed some color anyway. It's adorable when you get all huffy over your husband that your face turns all red."
Hiroki turned to her with a frown. "I don't get huffy over him." He addressed Nowaki. "Do I get like that Nowaki?"
Nowaki went to his side and rubbed his shoulders. "Yes you do." He kissed the top of his head. "It's tame compared to all the klutzy episodes I had when I was near you. I could hold onto a sword when you walked past me."
Hiroki snorted. "Shit, I actually forgot about that." Fuyumi concealed her smile with the back of her hand. "Thank you for reminding me. So when you try teasing me again, I will bring those up."
"Hiro-san!" Nowaki whined as he held him from behind. "You told me it was endearing."
"It still is." Hiroki patted Nowaki's hand.
Nowaki grinned at Fuyumi who winked at his direction. "Fuyumi-san, why don't you stay here and catch up with Hiro-san? I just remembered I have something to do." Nowaki sing songed as he pecked Hiroki's forehead and released him from his arms. "Don't miss me too much."
Hiroki knew that was false, Nowaki always left for a while when the Kamijou's came to see him. He ruffled Nowaki's hair, "Try not to enamor more girls. I don't need the staff telling me the latest gossip about another girl trying to catch your eye."
"I don't do it on purpose, I can't control someone else's feelings toward me. Besides, I only have eyes on you." Nowaki gave him a quick peck on the lips. "But I know a few who have crushes on you too."
"Liar," Hiroki huffed as Nowaki said his goodbyes and left the room with a spring to his step.
Hiroki turned to Fuyumi and saw her big grin. "Is something wrong?"
Fuyumi chuckled. "Oh nothing," She sipped some of her wine before waving her free hand in a dramatic fashion. "Just that you act just like your father."
Hiroki's face warmed as he turned away to hide his face. "Yeah right."
"Yes, exactly like him," She dabbed the sides of her lips with a handkerchief. "Now, tell me who caught you two kissing this time? I overheard another story through the staff on my way over here." Hiroki snapped his head to look at her, she burst into laughter.
Hiroki thanked the young woman who filled his bathtub as he watched her leave the room. Once the door clicked closed, he took off his clothes and his ring which he placed on top of his closed. Then, he got into the hot bath water. He sunk into the warmness and felt the tenseness of the day leave his body. Breathing in the rose scented oils mixed into the bathwater, he kept his nose above the water. He stared at the candles littering the room. They had a whole section of the castle for themselves. When the King and Queen retired, they would move to the other side. Something he hoped happened way later when he settled well into his marriage.
Nowaki's parents still had youthful appearances. Many citizens believed Nowaki had not aged up and had surprised faces when they saw him helping out the poor. Hiroki accompanied him on many occasions but he noticed the children responded better to Nowaki's gentle smile. He was better suited to teenagers who respected his tough exterior and his blunt words. He was due on visiting the commoners school to help out the teachers with their teaching curriculum.
Just because he married a prince, didn't mean he forgot his teaching roots. He went through many years of school and had a teaching position. Nowaki supported him when he continued on teaching, but had to quit months after their wedding. The accumulation of his new role as the prince's partner, studying everything Nowaki learned since childhood, and suffering out of these dreams made him crazy.
So much for a peaceful and happy dream he had during his romance with Nowaki. Although, he knew marrying Nowaki changed a lot more than having a ring on his finger. He should had expected these changes.
Getting out of the bath, Hiroki dried off and put on his sleeping clothes. He went through the door which lead into the main bedroom and noticed no one was inside. Hurrying to the bed, he jumped onto the bed and cuddled into the soft sheets. He went underneath them and laid his head on the pillow. Everything on this bed was like a soft cloud. He didn't want to leave this for a cold hard one.
He grabbed one of his books from the bedside desk and propped himself on the pillows. He started reading the place he put a bookmark in. As much as he loved reading, he didn't enjoy reading about something dull which pertained to the subjects Nowaki learned.
"I'm back." Nowaki smiled as he entered the room and closed the door behind him. "It turned out I did have something to do. Sorry I took so long coming back."
"Welcome back." Hiroki muttered, turning a page from the book without looking up.
Nowaki kicked off his shoes and moved them to the side with his foot. "Did your mother talk about anything new?"
Hiroki disconnected from the text when he heard the word mother. He stiffened as he looked up. Thinking he left this place without his knowledge. He saw Nowaki taking off his cape and draped it on one of the plush chairs. Humming a song with a smile. Hiroki relaxed against the pillows. Nowaki had meant Fuyumi not that other woman.
"She asked who caught us making out again. She talked about something f-father is doing." Hiroki bit the inside of his cheek, he hoped Nowaki didn't catch his slip up.
Nowaki chuckled. "I keep telling you, we need to keep a list with us and put a check on the name. I already have some parchment put aside so we can get started on writing the names of the staff we have here in the castle."
Hiroki shook his head as he turned his attention back to his story. "It seems like a waste of paper. You can keep a mental list if you want but we have to learn stealth."
Nowaki tossed his clothing into the dirty pile for one of the staff to pick up in the morning. "But it won't be anymore fun that way." Quickly washing his face, he patted his skin dry before putting on his sleeping pants.
With a twinkle in his eye, he hopped onto the bed. Hiroki glanced at him with an arched brow as he placed his book on the nightstand. They remained eye contact as Nowaki scooted closer to him. They exchanged no words. The fire in their eyes and the itch to touch each other was evident. They had gone too long from any intimacy. To feel the pleasure thrilling their bodies. The release.
Nowaki cupped his cheek and kissed him. Getting on top of Hiroki, he caressed his sides. Making sure to keep their lips connected, the feeling of Hiroki's warm skin made him shiver in delight. Breaking the kiss, he nibbled on Hiroki's ear and placed his hand underneath his sleep shirt.
Hiroki ruffled Nowaki's slicked back hair which made him giggle. "Hiro-san..." They shared another brief kiss as Nowaki pushed up his shirt halfway. "Just tell me not to wear it like that anymore."
"I like messing with it." Hiroki informed him as he tugged down Nowaki's pants. He purposely brushed his hand against Nowaki's hardening cock. "Why did you even wear pants?"
Nowaki snickered. "Hiro-san, I thought you wanted us to continue?" Hiroki flicked Nowaki's nipple with an arched brow.
Nowaki shuffled out of his pants. He tossed them over his shoulder, he worked on helping Hiroki out of his shirt. His hands wandered all around his soft chest, lingering on areas which made Hiroki groan. He sucked different sections of Hiroki's neck, careful not to leave any visible marks. Most of the time, he left them on that lovely torso. He left hickeys in each place he kissed. His grinned at the reddening skin.
His breath hitched when Hiroki wrapped his hand around his dick and pumped it a few times. Hiroki didn't hesitate in applying pressure, Nowaki almost wanted to kiss off the smirk his husband had on his face. Nowaki regained some focus as he managed to push up Hiroki's shirt over his face which made him let go of his cock. He missed the contact but tossed the shirt over his shoulder. Their eyes connected as Hiroki's hands wandered his chest. Nowaki didn't break eye contact as he tugged off Hiroki's sleep pants. Palming Hiroki's hardening cock and watched him close his eyes with a moan.
He stopped his ministrations, earning a glare from Hiroki. He smiled as he reached over to their nightstand and took out their small container of oil. Opening it, he dipped two fingers, coating them well. Then, he pressed a finger inside of Hiroki's hole. Hiroki hissed his breath as Nowaki caressed his inner thighs to distract him. When he felt Hiroki was comfortable, he added another finger. Hiroki locked lips with him as Nowaki rubbed their cocks together. Nowaki added one last finger and made sure he stretched Hiroki well.
"Nowaki, hurry up." Hiroki told him as he sighed when Nowaki removed his fingers from inside of him.
"I don't want you saying I made you sore tomorrow morning." Nowaki said cheekily as he positioned his cock. "But I know you enjoy feeling everything after a rough night."
Hiroki rolled his eyes as he kissed Nowaki. "Stop holding it against me or I will bring back your clumsy sword handling." His fingers brushed against the back of Nowaki's neck, making him shiver. "Go on."
Nowaki grinned as he pushed himself inside of Hiroki. Focusing on not thrusting in with abandon. The slow approach annoyed Hiroki more than turned him on. Although, there were days they relished in the feeling. This was not one of those days. He had stretched out Hiroki with the oil but he didn't want him to feel pain. He watched his face. Observing him for any indication of him to continue.
Hiroki's toes curled as he bit his closed fist. He breathed through his nose as he relaxed. Trusting his husband without any doubt in his mind. Nowaki's hand rubbed his dick to give him some pleasure while he adjusted. Moments later, Hiroki nipped Nowaki's lip and wrapped his arms around his neck.
He whispered in his ear. "Start moving..."
Nowaki breathed out as he pulled out half way before thrusting inside. They both moaned. Nowaki began at a slow pace, trying to find Hiroki's sweet spot. He took some time before he lost himself in the pleasure. He rotated his hips with each movement. When Hiroki groaned out his name, he knew he found it. He hit that spot while rubbing his dick at the same time.
Hiroki scratched at Nowaki's back, using his thighs and held Nowaki close. His prostate rubbed with each thrust as he moaned out Nowaki's name. Kissing and nipping Nowaki's throat, leaving some marks in areas which his jacket almost hid. He loved seeing his marks on Nowaki. His name growled into his ear. He shivered and his legs gripped him tighter. He didn't want him to stop thrusting. He was almost to his peak.
Tossing his head back onto the pillow, his hands held onto the sheets. He felt like he melted onto the bed. His body tingling from Nowaki's kisses and nips in certain area. He cried out when Nowaki sucked his nipple. His warm tongue circling and his teeth biting the area. He used his own hand to touch the other one while he tried keeping his eyes on Nowaki's eyes. Nowaki's eyes scrunched up as he kept pushing inside and let go of his nipple. Uttered his name with breathlessness, Nowaki opened his eyes. Hiroki saw those blue eyes filled with passion. His hands threaded through Nowaki's hair and grabbed onto the strands.
Pulling hard enough to make him whine, he loved having his hair pulled. "Ah Hiro-san...enough please..." Hiroki loosened his grip and Nowaki nipped at his neck.
"N-Nowaki...I'm getting close." Hiroki muttered. "Nowaki..."
Nowaki panted out. "Me too." He pumped Hiroki's cock with each thrust, hissing when Hiroki's fingers dug into his back. "Hiro-san-"
Hiroki came without another word, his walls closing in on Nowaki. His cum splattered his stomach, cooling his warm skin. They shared a sloppy kiss. Nowaki thrust a few more times before he collapsed on top of Hiroki. Emptying himself inside of Hiroki as he laid kissed on his cheeks. Hiroki's trembling hands ran through Nowaki's hair and rubbed the crescent moon indentations on his back. He felt a little bad that Nowaki had to deal with them in the morning.
Nowaki pulled out of Hiroki and used a random cloth to clean Hiroki's stomach. He let the afterglow take over as he cuddled against him. He placed his head on Hiroki's chest and listened to his heartbeat. Hiroki's arms wrapped around him and kept on caressing his skin. Nowaki loved the moments after they finished having sex. They ended up cuddling until they fell asleep.
Sighing, Nowaki lifted his head up when Hiroki stopped moving his hand. Hiroki went into dreamland. He smiled at the image before placing a kiss on his chest. Half the time, he went to sleep hours later. Sometimes, he caught Hiroki in a nightmare and held him through the night.
He touched Hiroki's hip. This pleasurable night shouldn't had brought on any of those awful dreams.
Punching the pillow, Hiroki shivered from the coldness of his bedroom.
There was no large body draped over his chest. He checked his left side, his husband was not in sight. Usually, he rolled over in his sleep or clung onto him like a snake. Nowaki had a natural heat which made him a perfect person to hold onto. He would had made his presence in this room tolerable. To have his strong arms hold onto him as he blocked away the cold night.
He heard his own breathing and his beating heart. Aggravation filled his insides, making him tremble. His undergarments, dirty and wet with his release. He got off of the bed and bolted to the bathroom. Locking himself inside, he held back a choked sob as he slid down onto the icy floor. His neck had lingering tingles from his bites, his marks. Touching his neck, he poked at the spots he knew got marked.
He scrambled up his feet and checked himself in the mirror. They disappeared. Any indication of their lovemaking didn't resurface on his skin. His eyes darted all around the mirror to check on any change. Nothing. Yet, he still felt everything. The residue of his caresses and his kisses. It made him angry.
Curling his hand into a fist, he slammed it in the mirror. The glass broke, clattering on the floor as the blood flowed from his cuts. He didn't feel anything. Continuing on hitting the glass, he wanted to pass out. He felt no pain. Nothing coursed through his cuts or his battered fingers. This angered him even further. He stopped his fist and backed away from the bathroom.
He stood near the window when a bell gonged.
A deafening noise which made him shut his eyes and cover his ears with his hands. When it ended, he took off his hands from the sides of his head. His arm went limp on his side, blood dripping onto the floor.
He knew the indication of that noise.
The front door shook with intensity as a variety of thuds came to his ears. The bright green light peeked from under the door. Trying to coax him out of the room. More letters no doubt. Envelopes filled with pictures of women. Angry letters threatening him to marry one of them or get cut out of the family. This routine had turned into something so expected he wasn't shocked.
He didn't move a step away from his bedroom. There was no point. He heard it each time he returned back to his world or before he went back to his dreamland. He didn't question anything. Nothing changed. Only the days when he left this place for his job.
His eyes prickled with tears. Using his arm, he wiped them away.
Nothing he ever did there brought him happiness.
In the morning, Nowaki pulled Hiroki close to his bare chest. He had rolled away in his sleep and he noticed he wasn't holding onto his husband. Sighing, he made sure to cradle him in his arms while he blocked him away from the cold.
Whispering sweet words into his ear. "Hiro-san...time to wake up.." He watched Hiroki's face scrunching up but didn't wake up. "Do I have to kiss you awake again? I will try ticking your sides if you don't get up. You know I'm not lying." Nowaki said in amusement as he pecked Hiroki's forehead. "Hiro-san?" He pinched his cheek and Hiroki didn't wake up to swat his hand away.
Putting his weight on his arm, he lifted himself up the bed. He stared down at Hiroki and watched the tears dribble down his face. Now, this was a new feature of Hiroki's nightmares. He never cried to such an extent to where he sobbed. Nowaki remembered Hiroki cried when they said their vows. Unless, Hiroki cried when they were apart from each other. His duties as the future king had him away with his father often.
At the realization, he stabbed him in the heart. He didn't want to think about it much less voice it out loud. On his wedding, he vowed to protect Hiroki. This unseen force in Hiroki's dreams was intangible.
Biting his lip, he wiped those tears away with his hand. He didn't move from his bed to do his morning rituals. His body wouldn't had complied even if he wanted to move. Someone from the staff always knocked on his door in the mornings. He would wait on them before he left the bed.
He tried asking Hiroki about his dreams, Hiroki shielded himself and answered nothing. His bright brown eyes glasses over and he stiffened. The last few times he tried asking him, it turned into a disaster. Hiroki avoided him for days in a separate bedroom. He might ask Hiroki's parents when they came around to visit on the week of their anniversary or when he didn't have a packed schedule.
Knowing the mystery might help Hiroki gain some proper rest.
Hiroki stared out of the window, his fingers dug into the skin of his unmarred arm. He applied enough pressure to draw blood. The blood went down his arm, staining the sleeve of his shirt. His eyes, listless. No life inside of them. He must had done something in his life to get this horrible life. Maybe in a past life, he did a huge wrong which transferred on the current life. He might have the most horrible luck. The decision on which one affected him best made his mind boggle.
His tears managed to get out of his eyes. Trickling down his face as he rubbed them away with his shoulder. He hated crying. It did nothing but bring out his grief and his anger. Although, in some occasions, he let himself get lost in a good sob. This didn't happen too often. He didn't relent on his arm, bleeding out will make him pass out.
All he wanted to do was sleep but he couldn't manage it. His eyes remained wide open. Any alcohol or sleeping medicine didn't help him.
They made him dazed without doing what he wanted. Making him pass out into world where the people cared for him. They treated him with love and respect. Everything he desired due to the lack of feelings in this world. Every single day, he returned to this darkness. Dampening his spirits after a wonderful day with his family.
Putting more pressure on his arm, he didn't flinch from the pain. His jaw clenched in agitation as he held back slamming his arm to the wall.
Nothing worked.
Half the time, he wondered how many times he hurt himself. Any time he woke up, he didn't have any injuries to his skin. No dull pain. With the consumption of copious amounts of alcohol, there was no hangover. Most of the time, he paid no attention to such details. Yet, he couldn't ignore why it turned harder to sleep.
It made him wonder if he imagined everything in his life. Everything he ever did to himself left no marks on his skin.
Nowaki attempted to remove Hiroki's fingers from his arm. They only dug deeper but didn't break his skin. They healed much quicker this way. He tugged at Hiroki's fingers again. His eyebrows furrowed as he rubbed Hiroki's sides. He tried seeing if any affection would transfer into Hiroki's dreams. He assumed every night since their wedding night, Hiroki had nightmares. He took notice one night when he had a bout of insomnia. Witnessing him moving around in the bed, he had distress clear on his face. Something he tried hiding from him when he went through their usual routine.
He didn't blame him for any of the small injuries he received. Hiroki slept through anything which made it impossible for him to wake him up. The bags under Hiroki's eyes grew darker. Hiroki seemed stressed out from whatever he dreamed about. The scratches didn't bother him throughout the day. He thought about the ones left during their nights of passion. Those distracted him throughout the day.
Sighing, he buried his nose in Hiroki's hair. Inhaling the rose scent which clung to him. Hiroki loosened his grip on his arm and Nowaki took it back. He gazed down at the area and saw no blood. There were only crescent moon shaped marks. He sat up on the bed as he cradled his forearm close to his chest. Good thing he wore long sleeves or he would get questions.
Nowaki placed a kiss on Hiroki's brow in forgiveness. He saw his face calming down to an extent. This brought him some reassurance as he fluffed the pillow under Hiroki's head. He even tucked him in so he wouldn't shiver from the cold. The fire had gone out in the middle of the night which brought in a chill through the whole room. He might have someone bring in extra firewood to keep it longer.
"Nowaki..." Hiroki muttered as he reached out for him.
Nowaki held his hand and kissed the palm. "I'm right here, don't you worry."
Someone from the staff knocked on their door.
"Your highness? It is almost time for breakfast."
Nowaki placed Hiroki's hand on his chest as he answered. "I will be ready in a little bit." Nowaki got up from the bed and got near the door. "Make sure to bring Hiro-san some breakfast later. He is still asleep and I don't want to disturb him."
"Right away, your highness." She told him.
Nowaki heard her leave and he took out his clothes for the day from their wardrobe. He placed them on the bed as he went through his preparations for the day. When he heard Hiroki groaning in their bed, he checked on him for a bit before resuming his routine. This happened a few more times and kept an ear out when he quickly washed himself. He made sure his hair was slicked back before he put on his clothing.
When he put on his shoes, he checked himself in the mirror. Making sure he had all of his piercings in place and everything was impeccable. At times, Hiroki managed to wake up and ruffle his hair before walking away with a whistle. Nowaki frowned as he stared at his well brushed hair. He would do it himself but it didn't have the same feeling. He turned away from the mirror and almost laughed when he saw Hiroki sprawled on the bed.
Nowaki chuckled as he tucked Hiroki back into bed. He added another blanket for safe measure before kissing him. This happened a few more times and he leaned back on his feet. Once he got to the door, he blew Hiroki a kiss before leaving.
TBC