A CASE OF DEJA VU
Chapter 1
Dressed in her blue and small white dotted house dress, white pearl necklace and earrings, low heeled black shoes, and perfectly coiffed hair, Hyacinth Bucket is alone in her kitchen, quietly humming a familiar tune while flitting around picking up the remaining dirty breakfast dishes off the table, and placing them on a tray to carry them to the sink. As she dons her rubber gloves to wash the dishes, the phone rings.
Hyacinth says to herself, "Oh, that's bound to be somebody of importance!"
Removing the rubber gloves on her way to answer the phone, she lifts the receiver and says in her most pleasant melodic voice, "The Bucket (pronounced Bouquet) residence, the lady of the house speaking."
She listens for the caller to reply. Then most cordially she responds, "Ohhhhh, Hello, Mrs. Hudson! Well it has certainly been a while, hasn't it, dear? Tell me, how are you doing over there on Baker Street in London?"
And as she listens to Mrs. Hudson reply, she takes a dry yellow dust cloth out of her house dress pocket and proceeds to dust off the phone, the Knick-Knacks and shelves by her white slim line cordless phone with caller ID, one button automatic redial and call waiting features. She then walks around in the general vicinity inspecting for dust in other places near her cordless phone.
"Oh yes, Hyacinth," replies Mrs. Hudson, "it has been a long time. I am doing fine. Got a new tenant upstairs. A young man who claims to be the world's only consulting detective. He did me a favor a few years back when my husband got himself arrested in Florida for dealing drugs."
"Reeeally, Dear? Oh my! Did he help get your husband acquitted?" Hyacinth says sounding surprised.
"Oh no, he helped to make sure my husband got the death sentence!"
When Mrs. Hudson said this Hyacinth's eyes seemed to short circuit and started blinking rapidly before she could respond. Then regaining her composure she thinks she surely must have heard Mrs. Hudson incorrectly and she asks, "He-he-he he did what, dear?"
"You heard me Hyacinth! Anyway that was a very long time ago and I have moved on with my life. I have moved back here to London and live comfortably off the money I inherited from my dead husband's estate. And letting out the flats in this building, which I also inherited, helps a bit, with the extra income needed for the herbal soothers I need for my hip."
Hyacinth empathetically responds, "Yes, dear, I do remember how that hip had caused you so much distress at one of my candlelight suppers." Then changing the subject, and being inquisitive, Hyacinth asks Mrs. Hudson, "Tell me more about this young man you are letting out the upstairs flat to. Perhaps he has been to the university where my Sheridan attends and they know each other."
"I don't think so, Hyacinth. Sherlock…that's his name….is much older than your son is."
"Sherlock? What kind of name is that, dear?" Hyacinth asks as politely as possible.
Very matter-of-factly speaking, "Sherlock Holmes…is his full name," says Mrs. Hudson. "I don't know what kind of name Sherlock is. But it fits him to a 'T'. He is one who gets bored easily. So with a name like 'Sherlock' you can bet no one else is going to have that name…in his line of work anyway. And that is just the way he likes it."
"I should say not!" replies Hyacinth. "So what exactly is a consulting detective?"
"Well, when the police are investigating a case and can't seem to solve it, which Sherlock says is all the time, they call him in to help them find clues and evidence. He is always doing some kind of experiments in his flat. Once when they were investigating a case….
Hyacinth interrupts Mrs. Hudson, "They?"
"Yes…I also let the room above it out to Sherlock's assistant, Dr. John Watson."
"So that means you have 2 new tenants, then?"
"I guess you could say that, but I tend to think of them as one unique couple. They are always together…rarely apart…unless Sherlock sends John out to do something for a case they are working on. And as I always say, 'Live and let live…that's my motto!' Anyway, as I was saying, Sherlock does quite a lot of experiments in the kitchen of his flat.
Once when they were investigating a case, I came across some real eyeballs in the microwave."
Sounding confused Hyacinth asks for clarification, "So you are their housekeeper and landlady?"
"Oh no! I'm just the landlady, not their housekeeper!"
"So why were you snooping in the microwave?"
Sounding a bit perturbed, Mrs. Hudson says, "I wasn't snooping Hyacinth. I knew the boys were out investigating a case and my microwave oven had just broken down while warming up a brewed pot of tea left over from earlier. So I went up to their flat to use theirs. That's when I came across the eyeballs in the microwave."
"Oh I see, no pun intended, dear!"
And they both giggled a bit after that.
Mrs. Hudson continues, "So, as I was saying, I didn't inquire what was going on when they came home. I just left them there. Didn't warm up my tea either, so I made a fresh pot. But later, Sgt. Sally Donavan was over with Detective Inspector Lestrade and some volunteers doing a pretend drugs bust to remind Sherlock that the case they were working on was not his alone….it belonged to Scotland Yard and they were just letting him assist them, therefore Sherlock needed to hand over any evidence he found on the case to them. That's when Sgt. Donovan asked him if they were real eyes and he said they were and told her to put them back because it was an experiment he was doing."
Hyacinth, in her proud as a peacock melodic voice says, "He sounds as smart and intelligent as my Sheridan!"
Mrs. Hudson didn't know what to say to that so she just let it pass. She had met Sheridan only once but she definitely could tell he isn't as intelligent as her Sherlock.
"I won't keep you much longer, Hyacinth. I called to invite you to come have tea and biscuits with me one afternoon this week so we can chat and get caught up on what has been going on with each of us."
"Oh that would be lovely, dear! I gladly accept your invitation. What day would you like to serve me tea?" asks Hyacinth.
That last remark didn't even phase Mrs. Hudson for she has known Hyacinth long enough to know that with Hyacinth, it is all about Hyacinth. But for some reason, Mrs. Hudson likes her and enjoys her company any way.
"How about the day after tomorrow, Hyacinth?"
Hyacinth breaks into a big smile and excitedly says, "That would be perfect, dear! It just so happens that my husband, Richard, has an appointment with an accountant in London that afternoon to discuss his finances as he has just been offered early retirement. He can drop me off at…is it…221B Baker Street?" she asks quickly fumbling through the pages of her address book to find Mrs. Hudson's address.
"Yes, Hyacinth, that's the correct address."
"Wonderful! Richard will drop me off at your flat, say at 1:30, and we can have a nice visit, and when he is done with his appointment, he can return to fetch me to take me home."
"Sounds lovely, Hyacinth. See you then."
"Yes, dear, see you day after tomorrow at 1:30 in the afternoon. Good-bye, Mrs. Hudson."
"Good-bye Hyacinth! See you soon!"
Part 2
After Hyacinth hangs up the phone, she makes her way back to the kitchen to wash her breakfast dishes.
She dons the rubber gloves once more and proceeds to fill the sink with very warm soapy water. She thinks to herself that there is no use in using the dishwasher as there are only a few pieces to wash: 2 beakers, 2 saucers 2 cereal bowls, 2 spoons and a small pitcher used to hold the milk for both their cereal and coffee, and she can have them washed, dried, and put away before the dishwasher even completes its first cycle. As she is washing the dishes by hand she is struck with a brilliant idea! And she calls out loudly for her husband to share it with him.
"RICHARD!?"
Richard is in the living room sitting on the new suite reading his morning newspaper and chooses to ignore the first calling.
"RICHARD, RICHARD BUCKET! I KNOW YOU ARE SITTING IN THERE READING YOUR NEWSPAPER. PLEASE COME INTO THE KITCHEN AS I HAVE SOME EXCITING NEWS AND A BRILLIANT IDEA TO TELL YOU ABOUT!"
Richard lowers his newspaper a bit and looks out over the top of his reading spectacles and rolls his eyes. He thinks to himself what could she possibly be up to this time. Not really excited to hear what his wife has up her sleeve, he takes his time folding his newspaper and getting up to go into the kitchen. He slowly makes his way there and pretending to be interested says, "Yes, Hyacinth! What is on your mind?"
"Guess who telephoned me this morning, Richard?" she says excitedly.
"Mrs. Hudson?" For he could hear Hyacinth talking to Mrs. Hudson on the phone.
Still excited and using her best self-restraint, she says, "Yes, Richard! She invited me over to serve me tea and biscuits the day after tomorrow. And since you were already going to be driving to London, I just thought you could drop me off, go to your appointment and fetch me when you were done."
Happy that his wife had something to look forward to, Richard says, "It sounds like that will work, Hyacinth, now what's your brilliant idea?"
"Well, Richard, you know I am not the kind to go empty handed to someone's home who will be serving me tea and biscuits, I thought it would be a very lovely idea to take some of my award winning English roses, the kind that Her Majesty has growing in her garden, to Mrs. Hudson tomorrow afternoon!"
"That's a very lovely idea, Hyacinth!" agrees Richard.
"Good! I knew you would approve, so on the day after tomorrow, just before we leave, Richard, I want you to cut the prettiest, healthiest, and most colorful roses from my rose garden, put them in a container with enough water to keep them at their freshest to take to Mrs. Hudson."
"Yes, Hyacinth!", and he bows to his wife as if he were bowing to the Queen.
"Richard Bucket! I will NOT have you mocking me and treating me disrespectfully by bowing to me as if I were the Queen."
"I'm sorry Hyacinth! But you bark orders at me as if I were your servant and you WERE THE QUEEN!"
"Richard Bucket…." and just as she is ready to chastise her husband for what she thought was a cruel remark, the phone rings again.
Richard thinks to himself, "Whew! Saved by the bell!" and goes back to the living room to finish reading his newspaper.
In her usual lyrical voice, Hyacinth answers the phone, "The Bouquet Residence, the lady of the house speaking…." then she stops and listens to who is calling and responds, "NO YOU MAY NOT HAVE AN ORDER OF #56…THIS IS NOT THE CHINESE TAKE AWAY!"
Before Hyacinth hangs up her phone she listens carefully for an apology and doesn't get one. She thinks to herself how rude some people are. You would never find her doing that nor her Sheridan. Then she goes back into her kitchen to finish what she was doing.
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