I am the nerdfighter that went there, I wrote a vlogbrothers fanfic. It's the first fanfic I ever wrote, it was inspired by a lovely dream I had, and I hope you'll enjoy it.
If John or Hank Green ever get to read this, and I sincerely hope they won't, I meant no disrespect. I love what you do, and this is just my way of enjoying my fangirlcrush.
For the sake of clarity; when someone's name is at the top, they're doing the talking. The story also alternates between past and present. It starts in the present; John is sitting at his desk.
John
He held a picture in his hand. He hadn't looked at it for many years, had maybe even forgotten he ever had it. He shook his head. Forget about it? About her? How could he?
But he had wished for that very thing, he had begged for it, directing his prayer to a god that didn't care to respond or didn't hear him. Make her go away, he had plead. The pain is too much.
And she did go away, in a way. He put her in the smallest corner of his mind and never thought about her again.
Until he saw her again, today, earlier today. She had been sitting on a bench. At first he hadn't recognized her, because she had her face in her hands, bright red hair sprawled over her shoulders. Normally, he would just have walked on. I mean, he couldn't fix the whole world, right? He had seen her, thought something along the lines of 'I hope that lady is okay' but wasn't planning on actually checking on her. He had things to do, books to sign secretly.
As he came closer, he could see her shoulders contracting. So she was crying. He didn't want to intrude, so he started to turn away. And just then, she looked up.
She didn't look at him. He could only be thankful, if she had glanced at him, he probably would've gone through his knees right there and then. But she didn't see anything. Her brown eyes were empty.
The shock of seeing her face again made him sit down next to her. He didn't know what to feel first. Anger, regret, fear. Fear was the biggest one. What is she got up right now? And walked away? He should make her see him! But it was like he had lost the power to move a limb, or even his mouth. So they sat there, together. For the first time in many years.
Katherine
"Mom, you're scaring me!"
I could feel the tears streaming down my face. I hated myself for crying, I hated that I wasn't one of those people that just started smashing things when they got angry. Instead, an overwhelming feeling of sorrow swept over me, and no matter how hard I fought it, the tears would always come.
"Stop crying, you little cunt! Did you think I would fall for that? Did you think it would bring you sympathy? I can see right through you, you liar. Liar! Clean this up. You're good for nothing, you will amount to nothing, I'm ashamed having you in my house. You're worthless," she finally hissed.
Every word stabbed me. I had heard them countless times, always the same message in a slightly altered sequence, but they didn't cease to hurt.
"I'll do it, just please stop yelling at me," I blubbered. Oh, why did I have to sound so pleading? She's right, I am disgusting.
She smiled, the ugliest smile she had. It looked more like what you'd expect from a wolf. Her lips would fall back over her teeth, all the way up her gums. And she squinted her eyes. It made me feel like she wanted to lunge for my throat. I turned away to get the mop.
"Don't turn away from me, you little cunt!" Fatal mistake. I ignored the instinct to cringe, it took everything I had. It would just make this last longer. If she could get one good swing at me, she might stop after one.
But blackness is all that came.
