Super Mario Bros. Mishaps
Disclaimer: I don't own SMB.
The Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom had been taken hostage by an evil wizard named King Koopa Bowser. The people of the Mushroom Kingdom were turned into evil creatures and King Koopa's army of Koopas started to raid the Kingdom taking all the Toad's treasure and putting it in '?' boxes. Until our hero...the Super Mario Bros. stepped up to kill King Koopa!
Mario spawned on some pathetic 8-bit level. "Hmmm...1-1 huh?" Mario said to himself and looked up at the top of the TV screen. "Where is my 64-bit colors!" Mario asked frantically. He started to run back and forth across the orange dirt. "Ah...oh well!" Mario said and walked to the left of the screen only to find he couldn't move backwards. "HEY! WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA!" Mario yelled. "You can't move left!" The announcer shouted. "Oh okay then." Mario said and walked right. He saw a Goomba under a bunch of '?' boxes. "AHHHHH!" Mario yelled and jumped up on the brick blocks. "HAHAHAHA! I AM HERE TO EAT YOUR HAMBURGERS AND FRENCH FRIES!" The Goomba exclaimed and looked up at Mario. "Umm...Mario you might want to get going you only have 59 seconds to complete the level or you'll die..." The announcer reminded. "But this French Frie eater is scaring me!" Mario screamed in a tiny voice. "FRENCH FRIES!" The Goomba yelled and revealed it's 2 fangs. The TIME IS RUNNING OUT noise played and the music started to play faster. "Mario! You can just step on his head!" The Announcer said sarcastically. "I can?" Mario asked and jumped on the Goomba.
The Goomba opened it's mouth and swallowed Mario. "Oops!" The Announcer whispered. Mario punched his way out of the Goomba. "SEE! NOW LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!" Mario yelled and flipped off the announcer. Just then the Timer ran out and Mario died. "MAMA MIA! TIME'S UP!" Mario screamed and fell through the ground and off screen. Bowser jumped down from the top of the screen and laughed evilly. "BWAHAHAHA!" He laughed. "HEY! GET BACK TO YOUR CASTLE!" The Announcer ordered. Bowser flipped off the announcer and jumped back into the sky. Mario respawned and finished the level this time.
MUCH, MUCH, MUCH later Mario has finally made it to Bowser Land. "So this is where King Koopa is huh?" Mario asked. Hammer Bros. jumped down next to him. "HEY! IT'S MARIO!" One yelled. "IT'S HAMMER TIME!" The other added. They both began to throw Hammers at Mario. Mario leaped into the air and grabbed one, becoming...HAMMER MARIO!! DUH-DUH-DUH! A whole bunch of flashly lights surround Mario's sprite. Shigeru Miyamoto pulled up in his motor cycle. "HOLD-ON! MARIO! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HAMMER MARIO UNTIL SUPER MARIO BROS. 3! AND THERE IS MORE THEN 8 COLORS ON YOU! THAT COULD CAUSE THE NES TO FREEZE! I'M AFRAID I NEED TO GIVE YOU A TICKET! DON'T LET IT HAPPEN AGAIN!" Miyamoto yelled and drove off. Mario kicked the Hammer Bros. into a bottomless pit. "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET YOU WASTE OF SCALES!" Mario yelled and ran off into Bowser's Castle.
Bowser looked at Mario through a telescope. "DAMN! He'll be here soon! I better stop smoking those cigars!" Bowser yelled and coughed up flames. Mario jumped over the flames and jumped next to Bowser. "ENOUGH OF THAT ANNOYING MUSIC!" Mario yelled and shot the stero with a shotgun. Miyamoto was about to come out on his motor cycle again but Luigi had chained it around the announcers neck. Miyamoto zoomed off and Announcers neck snapped off his shoulders and blood squirted all over the TV screen. Bowser was throwing Hammers and shooting fire at Mario. "DAMN CIGARS! I NEED TO THROW ALL THESE SPARE HAMMERS INTO THE LAVA!" Bowser exclaimed. Mario ran under Bowser when he jumped up into the air. "I wonder what I do now!" Mario asked confused. Just then a Hammer bonked Mario on the head and he died. "MAMA MIA!" Mario yelled. Luigi jumped up next to Bowser and waved his hand for Bowser to face him. "I still got some extra Hammers! Damn you Ebay for sending me so many!" Bowser yelled and threw them at Luigi.
Luigi jumped above Bowser's head and was about to grab the Axe but Bowser threw a Para-Goomba on Luigi. "AHHHHHHHHHH!" Luigi yelled and the Goomba only left a skeleton when he was finished. "BWAHAHAHA! THE SUPER MARIO BROS. ARE OUT OF LIVES! NOW THEY HAVE TO START ON WORLD 1 AGAIN!" Bowser exclaimed. Little did he know the Toad's had already freed the Princess, they didn't tell the Mario Bros. just to piss them off and make them play for hours on end to get rid of them. Back at the Princess' Castle a pathetic 4-bit Yoshi and the Princess were having sex.