"Learn from your parents' mistakes—use birth control!"
"You are living proof that man can live without a brain!"
Josh walked over to the crowd and saw the usual—Haylie was insulting Mike and vice verse…again for like the billionth time, it was still pretty awesome to watch and laugh.
"You're the reason God created the middle finger," Mike said.
"Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?" Haylie asked.
"Are you always an idiot, or just when I'm around?" Mike asked.
"Are your parents siblings?" Haylie asked.
"You're not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately," Mike said.
"Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?" Haylie asked.
"You're a mouse studying to be a rat," Mike said.
"There is no vaccine against stupidity," Haylie said.
"Careful now, don't let your brains go to your head," Mike said.
"You are the biggest no-talent I ever worked with," Haylie said.
"You are living proof of reincarnation. No one could possibly get to be so stupid in just one lifetime," Mike said.
"At least there's one thing good about your body. It isn't as ugly as your face!" Haylie said.
"You are the kind of person who, when one first meets you, one doesn't like you. But when one gets to know you better, one hates you," Mike said.
"You are better at sex than anyone; now all you need is a partner," Haylie said with a smirk on her face.
"Don't you need a license to be that ugly?" Mike asked.
"Your luck to be born beautiful, unlike me, who was born to be a big liar," Haylie said.
"Well, they do say opposites attract….so I sincerely hope you meet somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cultured," Mike said.
"I heard that you were a LadyKiller. They take one look at you and die of shock," Haylie said.
"Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn," Mike said.
"How did you get here?" Haylie asked, "did someone leave your cage open?" She asked.
"I hear that when your mother first saw you, she decided to leave you on the front steps of a police station while she turned herself in," Mike said.
"Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent," Haylie said with a smirk on her face.
"I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!" Mike said.
"The wheels are turning but the hamster is definitely dead," Haylie said.
"We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips move," Mike said.
"All of your girlfriends kiss you with their eyes closed. Considering your face, that's the only way they could," Haylie said.