Her smile.
When he looked at white roses, he saw her smile. The first time he had given one to her was the day after they met. He had wanted to do something special for her.
Collins had walked into Angel's apartment, one hand behind his back, the other carrying a bag of his things from the loft.
"Angel?" he called, "I'm back!"
Angel hurried out to greet him when she heard his voice. He'd been gone less than an hour, but she had missed him. Setting his bag on the floor, Collins wrapped one arm around her, placing a soft kiss on her lips and leaning down to whisper in her ear.
"Got something for you." He smiled a little shyly at her.
Angel's face lit up with surprise and delight as Collins brought his hand from behind his back, holding a single white rose. He'd wanted to get red, but this white one had been so beautiful, so perfect, that he had immediately known it was the one for her.
Angel's smile was so bright, so beautiful. It made his heart swell with love for her. She took the rose and placed it beside her bed, explaining to him that she wanted to be able to see it when she went to bed, when she woke up, whenever she looked over.
Angel had kept the rose there for over a week, only removing it once the petals wilted. Collins remembered now how sad she had looked. He had asked her why, and she had told him that he was the first person who to ever give her a rose. That she wanted to be able to keep it forever, to remember. Collins still couldn't believe that no one had ever given a rose to this amazing creature.
From then on, whenever Collins walked by a street vendor selling roses, he would pick one up for Angel. Each time, he would simply place it beside her bed, in the same spot she had placed the first. Angel would come home from drumming, or wherever she had been, and go in to the bedroom to change – she liked being out of drag when she was at home. As soon as she saw the rose, she'd just come back out and smile at him. Collins would smile back, and then she would go back into the room, reappearing later in sweats and a t-shirt.
As Collins looked down at the rose in his hands, he thought about what a simple thing it had been. It wasn't something they discussed. Collins never announced that he had bought her a rose; Angel simply smiled when she received it. But her smile, it lit up the room. It was always as bright as that first time, and Collins found himself falling deeper in love with her each time he saw it.
Collins took a deep breath and walked into the hospital room. Angel was there, sleeping as she often did these days. Collins placed the white rose on the small table beside her bed before leaning over and kissing her cheek softly.
"Hey baby," he whispered, knowing she needed her rest, but wanting her to know he was there.
Angel stirred, shifting slightly to face him. He smiled down at her, stroking her hair, and asked, "How are you feeling, Angel?"
Angel didn't answer him right away, and for a moment he thought she hadn't heard him. He was about to ask her again when she turned her head to look at him.
Her smile. Collins felt tears burning his eyes as she smiled at him, seeing the life return to her, turning her back into the vibrant Angel she had been before entering the hospital, if only briefly. She didn't say anything, but it was enough. Collins leaned down and gently took her in his arms, pressing feather-light kisses on her lips.
Climbing onto the bed, Collins lifted Angel into his lap. He wrapped his arms tightly around her, keeping her close to him. As Angel relaxed into him, Collins whispered his love for her, fighting back tears. He rocked her gently, pausing when he heard her faint voice telling him she loved him. Then she was still. After a moment, Collins finally let the tears flow, still holding her, continuing rock her, to tell her how he loved her.
A white rose symbolizes love that is stronger than death. As Collins held his love, he glanced over at the rose and remembered her smile. His Angel was gone, but he would always have her smile.