NOTE: I may not follow the events of the series and re-write some parts.

„Oh can't you see
You belong to me
My poor heart aches
With every step you take"

Isobel was going home after her visit to Lord Merton. It was late in the night. She wanted to go home after he told her about his illness but he insisted that she should stay. So she did. But it was very hard for her, knowing about that terrible thing, and eat or talk. It hurt so much. And now she was sitting in a car alone with her thoughts, just looking outside to the dark streets.

When she arrived home she couldn't think of anything else than having a nice hot bath and just relax, and forget about her remorse. But it wasn't that easy. She was lying in the bathtub and suddenly tears started running down her cheeks. She was struggling with her own feelings and couldn't put herself together. But what was the purpose of her behavior? Am I afraid of losing him - she thought - or is it the shame I feel because I refused him? Nothing was clear and suddenly Matthew came into her mind. _Oh dear._She wasn't ready to lose someone dear to her heart again. No, not again. Maybe it was the loneliness she was afraid of. But her mind wasn't clear, she couldn't find answers to her questions. Then dr. Clarkson's face was the next thing coming into her mind, and it just made her more confused.

Xxx

Isobel's night was a catastrophe. Most of the time she was just lying awake. She tried to exhaust herself with some reading but it wasn't working at all. In the morning she woke up early, and after a light meal, she left for the hospital. It was the only thing she could possibly think of, going there and get herself busy with some work.

The day passed so quickly, it felt so good to just focus on the sick people and their problem. She didn't even eat much, and at the end of the day, she felt so tired that she couldn't even think of anything. But before going home she wanted to speak with the doctor, she needed the ask his opinion of Lord Merton's condition. Maybe he could help - she thought - and maybe he could save me from this nightmare. So she went to his room but no one was there, and she decided to wait for him there.

Maybe an hour or two had passed when he finally walked in. Richard himself was tired too and couldn't wait to get home and get some rest. He was the last to leave the hospital. Or at least he thought he was. Walking into his room and finding Isobel sleeping at his work desk made him surprised and delighted at the same time. Before doing anything he couldn't help himself just standing at the door and watching her. She seemed so lovely and peaceful sleeping there, so alike to a beautiful painting or to a majestic instrument. He walked towards her and gently shook her while murmuring her name. Isobel he firstly said. It was improper but came out so naturally. And after Mrs. Crawley. He hoped she didn't notice it, that he had called her by her first name.

She looked at him with watery eyes and smiled at first when she saw him. But only for a minute or less. Now she was standing up and getting herself together.

-Oh, dr. Clarkson, I'm sorry that you find me like this. I just wanted to speak with you...

-It's alright, Mrs. Crawley! Don't trouble yourself with excuses.I believe you were just tired, you worked so hard today.

-No, no. I mean yes. I had a great amount of work to do today and also I didn't even sleep last night. - she looked at him very confused - So do you have a moment for me doctor? I have to talk with you about a very serious matter.

-Please, sit down and tell me about it. I'm at your service.

So she told her about Lord Merton, his condition but not a word about her struggling with her feelings. But he could tell it was about more, that she was overwhelmed with fears. Oh how much he wanted her to share it with him, but he didn't want to force her. Maybe someday she will trust him more, maybe one day he will have a bigger part in her life...

-So you want me to have a look at him? - Finally, the doctor asked.

-Oh yes, very much. You know that I admit that the doctors in London have a very great knowledge but I believe more in you and your word. I will speak with Lord Merton and I will bring him here on Friday if it's good for you. - now she was standing up, getting ready to leave - And you must know that I'm really grateful for your help.

-I will do my Mrs. Crawley, please don't forget that you are not alone. You don't have to face it alone. - With these words, he squeezed her hand and looked deeply into her eyes.

After this scene, she left quietly. She was more confused now, but also she was more comfortable. It is so good to have a friend like him, Isobel thought. She is very lucky to have him.