AN: I've wanted to write this for some time. Birthday fic for Mello. Kinda early
Consumed.
Always, perpetually consumed. Earth shattering, pulse pounded, heart stopping, body devouring, would stop your life for, consumption. Some call it love but I'm perfectly positive that word doesn't hold any use for anyone anymore. It's thrown around and sprinkled on things that people don't really care about. Even in it true form 'love' still isn't good. Love would mean fuzzy, warm and happiness.
Well let me tell you that love is most certainly not what this feeling is. I don't think there is a proper word for "want them so badly I could quite literally devour them and maybe live in their skin", obsessive maybe?
The way he smells, walks, even how he goddamn breathes is like a small monster waiting for me to be just vulnerable enough to swallow me whole, if that hasn't already happened that is. It stalks me then crawls inside of me to rot. To beautifully rot. I welcome the creature and wait for it to eat my insides out. His eyes alone do that.
He's like a shadow, dark and always there but never able to touch. Just to look at. He touches me how he damn well pleases but if I speak or look at him with want he throws me away like dying cat. Sadistic bastard. Slinking around me like smoke, choking my lungs like the cigs. Maybe that's why I smoke more when he's around, I want to suffocate. I want to die in his poison.
He's sulking on the balcony. Gorgeous scowl on his twisted face. Gnarled by a viscous fire. His breathe coming out as smoke, just like a monster. Curling up on himself to keep warm in this bleak weather. I think he likes it. His gaze is far away, far away from me. Always.
Just to look at.
I grab a cigarette and join him in the freeze. He doesn't acknowledge me, not that I was expecting him too. I rub the back of my neck where he once left a nasty bite mark during one of his many fuck rampages. I love that mark. Lets me know that every once in a while he needs me even if for a quick violent fuck.
I flick on my lighter and that catches his eye. He stares me down while I take the first inhale. Wonderfully toxic. I catch his ice gaze and we don't say anything for a long time, we're just lost. He breaks the air with a slight chuckle and turns away.
"Fucking killin' yourself." Voice like absinthe, deadly but beautiful.
"Living with you isn't helping either you know." Moot point, I'm already dead.
He sneers at me.
"Fucking leave then you useless shithead." Scary thing is that he means that. I shrug. He knows I won't leave, he knows how much I need him. Want him. He taunts me with it, keeps it over my head. Leverage for him. Fucking bitch.
He stands and turns to me his eyes hard. He snatches the cig from my mouth and takes a long drag, smoke slithering from his sinful lips. I don't think I've ever wanted to kiss him this much. He would shoot me in the balls if I even tried. He places the cig back in my mouth and leans toward my ear, breathing warm air onto my neck. He lightly bites my lobe, probably the most gentle he has ever been with me.
"We're just a bad romance babe."
I lightly laugh at that. Yeah I guess we are.
"Your fault. You ate my heart." He stares at me again. He's looking for something in me but I'm not sure what. His gaze falls to the ground and he puts his forehead on my chest. I'm literally frozen. I don't breathe, I don't move in fear of shattering whatever the hell he has decided to do. As quickly as it happened it stopped he lifted his head and pushed past me back into the apartment.
My eyes followed him until he stormed into his room and slammed the door. My fingers were starting go numb in the cold. In fact all of me felt numb. I don't know what just happened, I don't even know how to feel, think, or even what to say if he was still in front of me. Speechless.
He ate my heart and then he ate my brain.