Seeing Red
The house smelled like coffee that morning. It wasn't the usual strong Belgian coffee the family had grown so accustomed to but the scent of commoner's instant coffee. Hikaru loved instant coffee. I happily smiled to myself as I poured him a mug, taking special care to add exactly two spoonfuls of sugar. Quietly I hummed to myself while walking up the stairs past the master bedroom. My mother was just leaving for work. She gave me a knowing look as if she too was aware of what a big day it was. I grinned to myself so proud of the day I'd created just for us. My heart fluttered alarmingly. I was nervous. I'd never been nervous around my brother before.
I padded my way across the soft carpet to his king sized bed, right next door to my room. His slim body was tangled in the sheets and yet his face was so peaceful and undisturbed. I set the coffee down on the nightstand next to his cell phone and crawled into bed with him. He moaned quietly at the weight redistribution in the bed. Uneasily he rolled over and looked at my familiar eyes. I rubbed his back until he was awake enough to speak. The birds chirping outside the window quieted and the near silent beating of the fan was the only sound to be heard above our breathing.
"Good morning Hikaru," I greeted with a smile, "I've made you coffee," I announced, brimming with happiness. He wiped his eyes sleepily. I watched him slowly awaken, life coming to his eyes and apparently hunger to his stomach. The very shirtless Hikaru rose from the bed and sat up looking at me with curious eyes. He knew something was different today.
"Good morning Kaoru," he said with a grin.
The rest of the morning was just time wasted before I could have lunch with him. The host club was always a joy, but today it seemed to drag on particularly long. I spun the tea cup handle around from one side to another while Hikaru smiled at all the right times and laughed along with our customers.
"You'll have to excuse Kaoru today ladies, I may have kept him up a little late last night," Hikaru said, almost furtively.
"Hikaru don't tell them that," I whined. The girls' squeals reached a higher decibel. Hika placed a finger on my chin.
"Don't be ashamed Kaoru; I'm not," he drawled, slowly letting the brotherly love sink in. The girl on the left began to cry silently to herself.
"Oh Hikaru!"
"Kaoru," he breathed, his breath hot and his face nearly unbearably close. It was true that he'd kept me up, though the girls' imaginations were a bit off on why exactly that was. Hikaru had put off his sociology homework until the last minute and required my assistance until the wee hours of the morning. We'd fallen asleep together in his bed, but even Hika knew that information was private.
"Goodbye boys," one of the girls dismissed, her eyes still glazed over from the spectacle.
"I hope you're rested enough for the dance tonight Kaoru," the curly haired, bawling one muttered, concerned.
"Don't worry I will be," I promised, winking at her for good measure.
"Maybe we can lie down and take a nap, Kaoru," Hikaru suggested as we walked away. The ladies fawned behind us, engulfed in the flames of moe. He chuckled to himself then looked at me. "It's almost too easy now," he laughed, reaching to fix my tie. "I wasn't joking about that nap though."
I couldn't help but feel the warmth radiating off of him today. Something good had happened today, I just didn't know what. Hikaru linked arms with me and walked me to the music room door. I complied with his whim of being in contact with me, I of course wouldn't complain about that.
"Kaoru, excuse me for a moment, I have to talk to Haruhi," he said as soon as we crossed the barrier. I smiled and nodded, hoping he wouldn't take too incredibly long. Our picnic was set up beneath our favorite tree on campus. All of my hard work would go to waste. As soon as I was outside the school I found our maids straightening the picnic blanket.
"Hitachiin-sama," they said in unison, curtsying low. I nodded to them, checking the premises.
"Yes, thank you… I'll see you at home, make sure Hikaru's and my dress clothes have been dry-cleaned and ironed. Goodbye," I said quickly, expecting Hikaru to be right out.
"Our pleasure Sir," the one on the right promised.
After sitting there for quite some time I lounged back on the tree. Hikaru was right; perhaps a nap would be good. I had half a mind to blow off my afternoon classes with Hikaru and head home early. Slowly the heat of the afternoon went to my head as I drifted off to sleep. I dreamt of our night together on the dance floor. Our matching jackets mother had designed would sway perfectly with our classically trained bodies. We'd hold each other all night long and at the end of it all I might even get a goodnight kiss out of it.
"Kaoru," he whispered sweetly into my ear. "Kaoru," he repeated. "Kao! Wake up, class is going to start in five minutes," Hikaru demanded, allowing me to realize the unfortunate truth. My picnic had been a failure. I swatted at his face. He chuckled as my hand caught the tip of his nose.
"I just want to stay here, lay here with you for forever," I murmured. He curled down next to me and nuzzled his head into my shoulder.
"As soon as the ball is over we can, maybe not for forever, but at least for a couple hours," he promised, rubbing a hand down my cheekbone. I turned to face my magnificent twin.
"Hikaru, would you go to the dance with me?" I asked, a smile still plastered on his face.
"Well, I'm going to see you there, Baka," he chuckled. I raised an eyebrow.
"Is that a… no?" I whimpered, not expecting that answer at all.
"Of course not! I'm just not going to go with you. I have to drive Haruhi," he said, picking at his nails.
"What does her father think of this?" I asked, hoping Tamaki had given him a thorough beating for asking her out.
"Oh, he gave me his blessing. It should be fun, she's wearing one of Mother's outfits," Hikaru stated, sitting up and packing the picnic. My jaw dangled, useless. "Well, best be off to class," he said, rolling his eyes, time for sociology. "I'll see you there!" he yelled over his shoulder to me. I tucked my knees up close to my chin and sobbed. "Haruhi, wait up!" I heard faintly in the distance.
What was I to do? My eyes brimmed with saltwater tears as I imagined Haruhi in one of Mother's silky new numbers dancing up close to Hikaru, their skin touching and they faces so close that they were breathing the same air. My eye twitched at the thought. I could feel my face contorting unpleasantly and in combination to my tears I probably looked like some strange boy with vengeful allergies. I suppose it was my fault that I'd pushed them together, but this, this was barbaric. I'd built up the courage to say the words, forbidden to be said and he'd violently shot me down. I stumbled to the corner, completely abandoning my basket, blanket and false hope. I collapsed with my forehead plastered to a column near the entrance.
"Hitachiin-kun," a tiny voice squeaked from behind me. I didn't even look up from my defeated position to see who the mousey voice came from. I groaned to myself, sounding very much like a monster, or perhaps a dying animal.
"Go away."
"I'm sorry," she meekly stated, "Have I upset you?" I wept into my hand and wiped my face dry.
"No, I'm sorry," I mumbled, still drying my eyelashes. She smiled and blushed slightly to herself. I nodded. "It's Kamiko right? I saw you earlier today."
"Uh-huh!" she exclaimed before calming herself and nodding again. I looked up at her with fascination.
"It's Kaoru," I explained, knowing she was very much confused. I stuck out my hand for her to shake. She took it gladly. "Kamiko, are you going to Host Club's ball?" She shook her head. "Would you like to?"
"Really? I would love to go with you Kaoru-kun!"
"Seven then?" She nodded ecstatically.
That night I spent hours preparing myself for, no doubt, the worst host club activity yet. Not only was it a date-dance, I also didn't get to be with Hikaru all night. I didn't really want to be with him at the moment as I was still incredibly angry with him for humiliating me. My hair didn't want to behave in the slightest and my eyes, no matter how much I poked and prodded them, still appeared sad and depressed, like a puppy that'd been smacked on the nose.
"Kaoru-sama," one of the black-haired maids addressed me. I looked up from my miserable reflection. "I had your coat cleaned and ironed. They're hanging on your dresser."
I nodded to her, attempting to smile to her, but merely grimacing. She curtsied and exited the room, most likely frightened for my sanity. I dressed myself, wishing that I had someone to dress myself for. Kamiko was a nice girl, a huge fan of our brotherly love, but even still I wished I had my brother at my side.
I was ready before Hikaru was and so I took the nicer car. It was his loss right? Haruhi was used to roughing it, I'm sure she could handle driving in the Mercedes. I padded down the stairs to the front door and attempted to slip out without anyone noticing. I wasn't exactly proud of the situation I'd found myself in.
"Kaoru!" Mother shouted from the living room. She emerged with her camera in hand. "I want pictures of my boys," she insisted looking at me proudly, yet also sympathetically. "Hikaru," she yelled upstairs, her little girl voice floating up the stairs. Hikaru peeked around the corner, seeing my matching coat.
"Yes Mother?"
"Come down here for pictures," she demanded, coming close to snapping her fingers at him. He heaved a sigh and stumbled down the stairs. We stood next to each other in front of the front door, nearly two steps apart. Mother giggled. "Stand closer I can't fit you both in the frame." I refused to move any closer and Hikaru had to shuffle a few steps.
"Is this good?" he asked, hoping he didn't have to awkwardly move any closer. She snapped the camera a couple times and I reached for the doorknob.
"No! Wait, boys act like you love each other," she said, camera still held to her eye. I slid half a step closer and Hikaru slung an arm around me. I gasped in shock before smiling for the picture.
"Can I go now?" I complained.
"Oh, my beautiful boys, I hope you have a wonderful time tonight. I have to show your father how cute you look," she mumbled, hurrying off to the living room.
Hikaru and I made awkward eye contact for nearly a minute before he turned away to return upstairs. As he walked up the stairs I saw that the tail of his dress shirt stuck out. I hoped nobody noticed.
The chauffer drove me to Kamiko's house at a bearable pace. I was becoming used to driving with Hikaru and speeding the entire way there. Some of my fondest memories were in the car at least ten miles over the speed limit. One time we'd even convinced Boss to come with us, needless to say, he didn't not agree to come with us ever again.
We made average time on the way there. And her house looked to be a normal Class A home. I should have been nervous about approaching her, but I wasn't in the slightest bit. I straightened my tie and approached the door. When I rang the doorbell there was no answer. I knocked again, still no answer. I called her cell phone. She didn't pick up. I called her home phone number; I heard it ringing indoors, but still no reply. Defeated and extremely upset I returned to the car.
"Bring me home," I demanded, so morose and melancholy that the driver didn't even bother to ask why. It may have been my anger that caused me to see red, or the blood in the back of my eyelids, perhaps that happens when you get in a car crash, but the last thing I remember before the hospital was seeing blinding red.
"Kaoru," a voice whispered. My eyelids felt heavy under the medication, leaving it difficult for me to lift them. I felt a soft hand caress my hand, rubbing small reassuring circles into my skin. It felt like the day I had scratched my cheek in Karuizawa. I twitched my head slightly out of pleasure.
"Kaoru," Hikaru breathed urgently. "Kaoru, are you okay? I was so worried. I'm so sorry," he said, his voice reducing to a watery mess by the end of his statement.
"Does everything still work?" I asked, wiggling my toes. I heard him chuckle. His hand stopped rubbing, but remained on me as reassurance.
"Yes, the doctors say that you'll be fine," he promised, leaning down and kissing my cheek, "Thank goodness."
"Oh good," I sighed, finally raising my eyelids slightly. "How was the ball?"
"I don't know," Hikaru meekly stated.
"You didn't go? But what about Haruhi, and Tamaki's blessing?" I anxiously rattled off. Again, I saw Hikaru's face light up with laughter.
"I was just going to give Haruhi a ride. Tamaki didn't bless anything but I did get Fujioka-sama's permission to drive her," he said simply. "You really were quite confused weren't you?" I nodded slightly, feeling a headache arouse. I groaned. He jumped to his feet, putting a hand to my head.
"I'm fine, just an ache."
"Kaoru, I was so worried," he said, his voice cracking and water droplets landing on my bloody sleeve. I looked at him. His eyes watered so profusely there was no way he was using artificial tears. I smiled grimly at him. He noticed my expression.
"Help me move," I muttered, trying to shift my weight to one side of the bed. I felt my ribs tighten and the bruises on my arms ached with a dull pain. My knees were banged up and I was sure there was a gash on my forehead judging by the region of numbness on my face. Hikaru lifted me up slightly, honeymoon style and moved my small, fragile body to one half of the bed.
"Why did you-?" he began.
"I believe you still owe me that nap," I whispered, suavely. He laughed and nodded, furtively wiping his eye. Hikaru lied down in the bed and held me close. I fell asleep to a warm embrace and the scent of instant coffee.