1.
They're late.
They are extremely fucking late and Bellamy knows exactly what he's walking into when they finally arrive at the gates.
A six hour scouting trip had turned into a two day nightmare all because Bellamy had let some kid with a bad hairline do the tracking instead of the Spacewalker. Turns out he needed that fucking idiot more than he'd ever admit. Now he had eight of his best men, exhausted, annoyed, and probably unwilling to ever volunteer for a scouting mission again. He could still hear them complain even as they entered camp. Of course their gripes would be nothing compared to what he knew he was in store for. Octavia would be livid.
He'd promised her he'd be back by nightfall. She probably thought he was dead. He'd be fucking furious if it were the other way around. It doesn't surprise him when the first thing she does when she sees him is tell him he's a selfish asshole and then hug him like he'll float away into the sky without her weighing him down (sometimes he thinks he might). What does surprise him is that the Princess hasn't managed to make it down to join their welcoming party. He figured she'd stomp over to him and demand to know what had happened, what they had found, why it took so long. Then she'd tell him he was an idiot for poor planning and wasting resources, and not including her precious Finn when he knows the kid is the best tracker they have. He's far too fucking tired to argue with her so part of him is glad she isn't around, but there's another part of him (the part that clings to the little bit of normalcy they've created) that can't keep the words from slipping out of his mouth.
"Where's Clarke?"
Octavia breaks away from the hug and gives him this look. He has no idea what it means really, sometimes he thinks she's pitying him, other times he remembers that Octavia has more experience with dust than human beings so it's probably her attempt at empathy.
"She's in the drop ship," she sighs, "She's been running around here like a fucking mad woman for the last two days. She hasn't slept, she's barely eaten, she's been breathing down everyone's necks, scrubbing the med bay every couple of hours. Monty was seriously considering strapping her down and slipping her something to make her pass out."
Bellamy shoulders the gun he'd been leaning on and turns towards the drop ship "What's wrong with her?"
"Besides the fact that she's crazy? I don't know, she was worried about you guys, but we all were. She said a lot was riding on this scouting mission. She was nervous that something went wrong. That tends to happen when you leave for a few hours and don't come back for two fucking days."
"Look O, I'm sorry. You're pissed, I get it. I'll tell you the whole story, but first I have to deal with her."
Octavia nods her head and starts walking backwards in the direction she knows he's going to start heading. "She may have finally fallen asleep by now, or she'll rip your head off the second you walk in, either way I'm all for seeing the end of this psychotic episode."
Bellamy almost wants to defend Clarke, because no one else in camp understands what it feels like to be the ones everyone looks too. Clarke spends most of her time worrying about everyone around her. The only reason she hadn't been on the scouting mission herself was because Bellamy convinced her that it was more practical for at least one of them to stay back. You never know what can happen down here. We don't want to leave them to fend for themselves not when we're finally starting to get our shit together. We can't risk them losing both of us. And then he had gone and disappeared for two days. He sure as hell wouldn't have been able to sleep if he'd thought she was gone and he was picking up the full weight of their responsibility.
He notices that most of the kids are keeping their distance from the drop ship. Clarke really must have been in rare form. Octavia is talking while they walk, telling him that she had successfully stitched up a kid's hand all by herself after Clarke had gotten so frustrated at her inability to thread the needle with shaking hands that she'd had to go outside to calm down. "I've never seen her like that." She says as they make their way into the drop ship "I mean she did apologize, she said it was sleep deprivation but goddamn am I glad that you're back…. You know, for a lot of reasons." She beams at him, and he ruffles her hair.
"Oh Bellamy thank god!" Monty appears in front of him with his hands covered in blood.
"Monty, whose blood is that?" Octavia demands.
"It's Clarke's but…"
Bellamy pushes past him and moves into the med bay where he could see the back of Clarke's head sitting on one of their make shift examination tables. She was holding her left arm in the air, her hand wrapped heavily in bandages, but even in the few steps it took for him to get to her he could see her start to collapse onto her side and then pull herself back up.
"Clarke," he says as he steps in front of her. She's pale and her eyes are bloodshot. She looks horrible, like she hasn't slept in a month. She gazes up at him and manages a small glare. He finds that he's almost relieved.
"Oh, you've decided to come back." She slurs "I'll be back by sundown my fucking ass."
He raises his eyebrows because it's unusual for her to curse so causally, but he knows that he owes her some form of an apology or an explanation. He just can't get over how dead on her feet she looks.
"You look like shit princess."
"You smell like it."
"What happened to your hand?"
"Accident, what happened to your scouting party?"
"Got lost."
She makes a noise that sounds something like a snort, but it's obvious that she doesn't have the energy to argue with him. "Well good, you're back so I can sleep."
"Waiting for my permission?"
She doesn't notice his smirk because she's already lying back on the exam table. Octavia steps forward cautiously. "Clarke why don't you go back to your tent so you're not in the way- I mean so people don't bother you."
Clarke grunts and tries to sit back up. She looks around like the room is spinning until her eyes fall on Bellamy, then she extends her arm in his direction. "Come on, you walk with me, tell me what the hell happened."
He agrees, but he has no intentions of telling her anything. Mostly he just wants to make sure she makes it back to the right tent. He's not even sure her eyes are totally open judging by the way she keeps walking diagonally. She shakes him off every time he tries to guide her, but he does notice that the last time she keeps her hand wrapped around his. He thinks maybe she's just too stubborn to admit she needs help, but something in the way she's holding on reminds him of the way Octavia hugged him at the gate. She doesn't want him to float away either (and she's definitely one to keep his feet on the ground.)
She falls straight into her bed when they arrive. He watches her without it being creepy because she's still mumbling to him like they had actually been having a coherent conversation.
"I thought you were dead," she says mostly into her pillow. "I thought you had left me to do this by myself."
"Not gonna get rid of me that easy Princess."
"I don't like it Bellamy. I don't like worrying about someone like that."
"I wasn't planning on being gone so long. Next time don't worry so much, I always find my way back here."
"What if one time you don't?"
"You'd be fine."
He hears the echo of her "I need you" that played over and over in his head. He wonders if she'll say it again. Instead she reaches her injured arm into the air like she had done in the drop ship.
"What?" he asks with a laugh, because she looks ridiculous. She'll be pissed in the morning when she realizes how many bandages Monty wasted in his slack-ass attempt to wrap whatever wound she'd inflicted upon herself. She doesn't answer him, merely shakes her arm back and forth until he walks closer and grabs it. She intertwines their fingers and sighs. He feels like he's walked into some freaky alternate universe where Clarke Griffin can actually stand him.
"You always have to come back." She says.
"I will." It's a stupid promise to make, but her fingers fit perfectly in his so what else is he going to say?
"Good." He has to take a few steps towards her when she brings their hands down and cradles them against her chest. "You can stay if you want, until morning."
He can feel her breath on the back of his hand. It's warm and her skin is soft and crawling into the bed next to her seems like the best idea he could have ever come up with until he realizes that it's the exact opposite. This is by far the most physical contact he'd ever had with Clarke. He'd never taken her for the cuddly type…of course he'd never taken himself for the cuddly type either but here he is thinking about wrapping himself around Clarke Griffin, fully clothed and tired as hell, just so he doesn't have to let go of her hand. But they aren't like that. They've finally gotten to be something akin to friends and somehow this feels like taking advantage of her. He takes his hand away slowly and he sees a frown appear on her face, even though her eyes have closed and her breathing has evened out.
He needs to leave now, needs to breathe different air and remember who she is to him, his co-leader. So he turns on his heel and walks out of his tent. His hand feels irritatingly cold the rest of the night.
AN: These were written sometime back in season 1 so they aren't exactly canon but hopefully I can manage to keep everyone as in character as possible despite the fluff. Thanks for reading!