(1) Fear

WARNING: Contains death, sadness, self harming. Please do not be affected.

Fear. An unpleasant feeling with the belief of something or someone causing pain, sadness, murder, etc.

Levi could only do so much as he watched everything in his life flash before his eyes. The cold, unfeeling body of his mother, her face sunken as she lay on her bed peacefully, an old light and inspiration for him as he went on, only to be put down more in the future...since she was gone.

The harsh ways of his uncle, a somewhat brash relationship he had with the said man. His uncle taught him as much as he could to defend himself but then left him on his own to fend for himself in life.

Being a thug wasn't easy obviously as he grew older. Running away from the responsibilities from his own crimes until he had...friends. Farlan Church being the first and soon came along the lovable, loud red haired girl: Isabel Magnolia. They were a team, unstoppable. A strong bond formed by sacrifice, care, trust and much more. But only if they got out of the Underground to live a normal life.

Time went on as they were forced to join the Survey Corps, a plan of murder and betrayal to find citizenship in the cities but only failed after he saw...them. Blood, the stomach clenching feeling from the smell of iron. The faces of many soldiers as limbs scattered across the land. The undeniable regret he felt as his friends were part of them too. The gloominess of the area and its almost as sharp as glass feeling of the rain, the evaporating Titan blood and skin...a sick, disgusting feeling in the air. Despair, sadness, anger, emotions rised up in him. He sobbed, cried out, screamed but crying wouldn't make anything go away. He had nothing left as he went on with the Survey Corps...

More time went on, Levi was now a Lance Corporal in the Survey Corps, Humanity's Strongest, a respected and trustworthy soldier, adored by comrades. A stoic and blunt character, only used a mask to hide everything inside. More soldiers and comrades died under his care. People losing their families, lovers separated, children not knowing where their fathers and mothers went. Was it his fault? Did he really deserve this kind of respect? Was this his life? Only time would tell, he thought.

New recruits scattered around the building as he trained with his squad.

Petra Ral; a sweet, and kind girl, helpful and convenient to others, someone willing to fight, even if her own fear escaped.

Oluo Bozado; an annoying man always trying to impress Petra (Levi noticed) but his attempts were always futile, he also copied Levi (said man was annoyed), though he was weird, he was a trustworthy man.

Eld Jinn; a silent, strong man, whenever he chose to talk, it would always be straightforward and blunt, a good soldier in many aspects.

Gunther Schultz; a man who somewhat has an uneasy feeling whether on trusting certain comrades, but an overall serious person with only good intentions.

These people he handpicked, had an amazing record of kills and they were, in a way, his friends too. Another bond between all of them formed.

Until their mission of protecting the new recruit, a Titan shifter named Eren Jaeger from the Female Titan. His squad died, one by one, though he never saw it happening, it was just a gruesome sight. Their lifeless corpses lying, just dead.

Was this...what...Why was he alone? Why was life so cruel? What if they all die and I don't? What if it all comes to an end and I'll still be here? What if-

"AGH!"

Levi woke up to a cold sweat running down his face. He ran a hand through his hair as he tried to steady his breathing. He pulled his sleeves down and looked at his own scars. They were there for some time, wincing as he felt them. His tears that were falling down his cheeks were useless, nothing much. He lay back down on his pillow, looking back at the ceiling.

Is my life just like this? Why do I have to have this life? Why can't I leave? Why won't my pain end? This is all just worthless... Why... Why...

He drifted back to sleep, only just to wake up a few more times.

His pain was never ending, a dark spiraling void of unbearable feeling...he was destined to be alone, to have a fear of being the only one surviving the world... That's what he thought.

Well guys...I was thinking of writing a story with this, Levi is going through some really hard times, but his friends are there to help. For all the people out there suffering, there's a reason why I wrote this. If you need help, just talk to someone who can understand you, your friend, parent, relative, teacher, classmate. It doesn't matter, you're not alone. I've never had depression but I know a few who have. So this is only a starter to my story, what do you guys think? Was this bad, good, meh? But yeah, I hope you all enjoy this, I hope it helps later on with the chapters and, bye!