Summary: She had been gone for five years, and he had started a routine, barely getting by, living day by day.
She had been gone for forever, or that was what it felt like.
For five years he had been woken at 4am with the same dream, and couldn't go back to sleep, that day was not diffrent. But he could never figure out what the dream was about, if it was scary or something like that, it was only her face he remembered, it was like it was filmed with a home video camera, bumpy, and it was the last memory he had of her, when she walked out of his office late at night, she had looked sad, and she had waved goodbye to him, and then stepped inside the elevators to never come back. For three years detectives had looked for her, trying to find leads, at her appartment they found a puddle of blood, her blood, chairs were lying on the floor, and clothes were everywhere, in the middle of it was a note, telling them she was sorry but she had to leave, she never finished the note because she stoped in the middle of a word. The note had been put or trown on the couch for the police to find.
What they found disturbing was the fact that no one heard anything, they told the police that her appartment had been quiet as usual, that she hardly made alot noise and that day was just like any other day, that was why it took 5 days of absence to make them wonder what was going on, only a few hours after they reported her missing they'd found the note, and they had started an investigation, but they found nothing, no vitnesses, no evidence exept the note and blood in her appartment, they put her photo in the news with the hope that some one might reconize her, or vitnessed something. But they came out empty handed. When they after a year hadn't found her, they told them that she probably was dead, a lot of people who go missing are likley to be killed, and-or to never show up again.
She had left many people to greif her disappearance, they had to think that she was dead to be able to move on with their lives, but there were a few people who wouldn't accept this, they kept on looking, trying to find her themselves, but everyone knew it was a lost cause, she wouldn't come back again if it weren't for a miracle, so they hoped for one, they hoped that she wasn't lying in a dicth somewhere, that she was okay, that she was just hiding from something, but five years was a long time, 5 years felt like forever.
Foreman and Chase had left as soon as their contract was finished, but they never left New Jersy cause neither of them had given up the hope of finding Cameron, House had hired a new set of ducklings, but they weren't the same, they weren't them, it took him a month to realise that he was trying to find copies of them, and to prove to himself that he didn't, he hired the three first that walked inside the door, he didn't really regrett it.
But now when she had been missing for five years, they gave up, the last glimmer of hope that she was alive faded away, and both Chase and Foreman packed up for diffrent parts of the country. He would've done so many things to get to leave PPTH, but he knew that he wouldn't get to treat people like he did there at any other place, so he stuck around, beeing more misirable then before. His best friend Wilson would sometimes sit with him in his office, saying nothing, he would just watch his friend stare of into space. He knew that Cameron had meant alot to the jerk, but that the jerk was too stubborn to either admit it or show it to her, he thought that maybe he blamed himself for her disappearance, he knew alot of people who did.
When she had been gone for four years they set up a memorial, to honor her, they had it by a lake her parents told them she used to love to go to as a child, and it was beatiful, they stayed there until after the sunset, after watching the yellow ball of light disappear behind the horizon to rise somewhere else. He would go there secretly sometimes after work or on weekends to make sure he didn't forget her, he had hid a photo of her in his car, and he would grab it and sit down on a bench and look out over the water, and try to figure her out, try to remember every smile, every tear, every look and every touch, she was just as beautiful as the sunset down over the lake- if not more.
When she had been gone for exact 5 years, or as exact as they could know, he sat in his office, holding his now almost flat ball in his hand, and his knuckles where turning white, Cuddy had known better then to give them a case that week, she knew House had to move on, but she knew he would never be able to do that. So she had watched him sit in his office, staring into space like a hormonal teenager. She remembered him when he first got the news of her disappearance, he had been in denial, he had told the police that she was probably crying over some patient they'd lost, but when they told him about the blood and the note, his face had almost gone white, and he'd exused himself, an disappeared up to the roof. When they told him three years later that they had to close the case, that they'd kept it open long enough and that there was nothing they could do, he disappeared up to the roof, and when she'd found him, he had been screaming on the top of his lungs, and she had walked down again, that was a private moment she knew she shouldn't interfer.
It was a normal day for him, it had been pretty much the same since he lost his leg, he had been in an accident on his bike, and they told him that they needed to cut off his leg, this time he wasn't as stubborn, and knew he had to do it, at first it was hard for him, it took a while to get used to everything that came with the lost leg, but one thing he loved the most was that there was no unessesery pain, that he could walk up and down the street, run again. So he had started a routine, every morning he would drive to work, stop a few block from work and walk the rest of the way. He stoped as always to buy his breakfast- coffee and a bagel- at the same shop as always, and the man that owned the shop looked at him amused as he insulted the clerk, they'd all gotten used to the grumpy man that walked into the shop between 8.20-8.30 every morning, and then watch him disappear into the hospital across the street. He walked out of the shop at took a bit of his bagel, but this is where he broke the routine and stoped and looked up and down the street, he thought he recognized someone. He stood there for a minute, looking around him until he gave up and hurried into the hospital to do his clinic duty. A lot had changed in the past five years, he had gotten tired of argue with Cuddy about clinic duty when none of his former ducklings where there to glare at him or do it for him, so he made it part of his routine, everything was much simpler when he had a routine, sure boring, but getting older was never much fun anyway.
He clocked into the clinic a bit later then usual, getting a few glances from the nurses, and he snarked at them for something he didn't even know. He walked into an exam room and hung his coat over one of the chairs in the room, and sat and waited for a patient to come in. One thing that hadn't changed though, was the fact that he refused to wear a labcoat, he changed clothes, he looked more and more like Wilson, and he started to feel really old, he was after all 53, and could no longer walk around like he was 20 year old college student. Everybody had noticed this change, even though it happened gradually, his clothes became more and more professional with each year that went, his methods of treating patient became less dramatic, and his life slowed down dramaticly. But no one was comfterable with this change, more patients that House treated died because of this change, there were less laughs and less things to do at the hospital, and they were worried bacause House looked more and more tired- getting older makes you look more tired, but not this tired- and he agreed with practicly everything that Cuddy forced on him. There were very few sarcastic comments, they were still in almost every other sentence, but they'd lost their power, and where more weak, and no longer made nurses cry.
He drove home at 9pm as he did most days, and sat down at his piano with a glas of skotch, and played a song that reminded him of her, he had played this song on this day for five years, and remembered her, ever since the first time he met her to the sweet image of her waving as the elevator doors closed, it was a painful memory, it was strange that something he saw almost everyday, would be something he would remember with pain, and just that time. It always hurt when he thought that he would never see her again, and with that thought he refilled the glas, he didn't care about the pain he would edure tomorrow, he lived his life day by day, he was just barly getting by doing that, that was why he created the routine, so that he knew what was coming, that he knew that if he lived like this again tomorrow he would get by, he didn't like surprises anymore, the only people that could surprise him anymore was his patients, that were the only thing he allowed to be diffrent, he had to, he had no choise.
The next morning he did the same as he always did. He felt that he was getting more and more tired, and he knew that he was depressed, but if he would try to get himself up again, he was afraid that he would fall down harder again, his life had always been like that, being pulled up to fall down again, so he had given up on getting happy again. He walked up to his office after doing his clinic duty, and found his mail sitting in a neat pile on his desk, his desk was now organized, everything had it's place, and he made everyone see that so that nothing would get out of place, this was an other thing that scared everyone. He looked through his mail as he hung up his coat and fixed with his tie and rolled up the sleves of his brown shirt, speaches they wanted him to give- he still didn't do them, lectures, requests to help their son, daughter, sister, brother, friend, cousin, whatever. He almost trew away the intire pile when he saw a handwritten one at the bottom, he pulled it out and he found the style familliar. It was heavy and thick. He ripped it open, and started reading with intrest.
Dear Dr.Gregory House
Or should I just call you House? Like the old days? I know I've been gone forever, but I had my reason, I couldn't stay, I was never given the choise to. You should know that I miss you, all three of you, do Foreman and Chase still work there? I guess not. I've tried to visit you, but it's hard to get out of here, even for a few days, I guess they're afraid that we're going to tell on them, and why wouldn't we? It's beautiful here though, I love the ocean, did I tell you we live by the ocean?
I saw the news when I went missing, or I tried to see, I know you looked for me, and I know you found close to nothing, and that's more then you'll ever find. I miss you so much, it hurts for me to write this letter...
Can you do me two favours, one is big and one is little, the little one is: can you send the other letters to my familly and Chase and Foreman, I'm only allowed to send one letter... and the second one, can you pick up my daughter? She's three½ years old and her name is Isabella Andrea Cameron, her nick name is princess Issa, her birthday is October first, and you'll see straight away that she is mine, the adress is on the other side, you just have to pick her up, then you can give her to someone else, but I don't want her to grow up here...
Thank you so much! I hope I didn't cause too much trouble when I left...
Yours (forever) Allison Cameron.
He turned the paper and indeed there was an adress there. He read the paper again, where exacly was she? It must be pretty bad for her to give up her daughter, he shook his head, she was alive, he needed to give these to the police, he stood up and grabed his coat, something that startled the new ducklings, and they looked at him strangely. He told them that he needed to go somewhere, and if they could call the investigator that worked on Cameron's case and tell him that there are letters he need to pick up, and he picked up a post-it where he had written down the adress on, and hurried off.
He walked inside the building that she had said that her daughter was in, it was pretty run down, and he could hear the rats in the walls, he shook his head and continued up the stairs, he was half afraid that they would colapse under him. He hurried upstairs and saw that the whole second floor was just one room, and he looked around it, and saw no one, he frowned.
"Isabella?" he heard a sniffle and he looked in that direction but saw nothing. "Princess Issa, your mother sent me, my name is Greg" he looked that way and waited. "It's okay princess, I'm not dangerous" and out from the shadows a small girl with long brown hair and green eyes walked, she was dressed in dirty pink clothes, and tears were falling down her face. "Your mother told me that you had been such a good girl that you could stay with me" he smiled at her, and she looked at him, as if checking that he wasn't dangerous.
"I want mommy" she said and huged a small brown teddybunny.
"I know, but mommy said that she needed you to do this for her, can you come with me for her?" she hesitated. "Your mommy misses you too, but she needed you to come here, for you to come with me, cause if you don't then your mommy is going to get really sad, and she'll cry" the girl nodded and walked up to him. "Is your mommy's name Allison?" the girl nodded.
"She told me that I had to stay quiet or the bad guys would get me" she replied shyly.
"But I'm not a bad guy, I'm a good guy, I'm a doctor!" he said with a smile, and picked her up, and she burried her head in his shoulder. "Are you tired?" she nodded and yawned. "Well then I'm going to let you sleep."
He brought her to his house and let her sleep in his bed, and he arranged so that he could sleep on the couch. The police came by later that day with a social worker, and he asked if he couldn't keep her, he was after all requested to take care of her by the mother of the child, the social worker and the police said there was nothing they could do. Soon there after the social worker picked up Isabella, and he heard her screaming and fighting, and his heart broke. And he asked again if he couldn't keep her, the answer was still the same.
He fought for the costody of Isabella for 6 months until he got the custody of her. He knew he couldn't get Cameron back, but she didn't give up her daughter to let her go in the system and get screwed up, and he found that life had a meaning again, he started to go back to his old ways, but less extreme, he started to dress a little more casual, and he went back to his old methods of treating patients. He still had his morning routine, but now it was filled with Isabella and getting her dressed and ready.
And the years went by, she started school and she was the smarest in her class so the let her skip a grade.
"Good night princess Issa" he said like he did every night since he got the custody of her, and he started to think of her as his own daughter. It was strange for House to go from being a sacrastic jerk with an addiction to vicodin, to a boring routine addict and then to a caring father.
"Good night uncle Greg" she said tiredly. "uncle Greg?" she asked before he could close her door,
"Yes Issa?" he smiled at her, she was begining to look more and more like her mother everyday.
"Can I call you dad?" he felt a warm feeling grow inside of him, and a broad smile on his face.
"Of course princess Issa, of course" House had never thought he would get the chance of being the father of Cameron's child, he didn't care if he wasn't her biological father, in his mind blood wasn't thicked then water, and he was the father of her child.
Cameron had taken the last peice of his heart when she left, but when she gave him the chance of being a father, he got a peice of it back, and from that peice, he would try to get whole again.
Thinking of doing a prequel and a sequel...
Reveiw please!
Would someone like to be my beta? Don't like to get glosery as reviews...
Written quickly with only the help of an dictionary, some words wasn't in there so... well yes...