A/N: Just a new fanfic to get me back into writing! Hope you like it!!
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or the show!! (I wish I did)
Dedicated: To the amazing WFCTGIO thread!! I couldn't make it through without you Chryedians there!!! Much love!!
Finally: Please review!! I love reading them and it helps me improve too!! Be honest in your thoughts :p
Love CC xx
Turning the collars of my jacket up, and digging my hands further into my jacket, I hurry across the Square eager to get out of the biting cold and home. I hear laughter and look up. Syed's arm is draped around Amira and he pulls her closer into him, against the wind. Anger rises up in me as they stop for a kiss.
My pace quickens as I try to ignore them. I've always felt sorry for him but I could sense that it was rapidly changing. The pity was being replaced with something else and I couldn't determine what it was. I looked at him from the corner of my eye as he whispered into her ear. I forced the bile down, conscious of the hard lines setting in my face.
I caught his eye and his face changed. The echo of the laughter lines which were etched on his face faded away and his eyes fluttered, panicked. I scoffed to myself and crossed the road before letting myself into my flat. I slammed the door shut, hard. My feet pounded the stairs as I tried to put as much distance between us as I possibly could. I let myself into my flat. I hated this. The fact that he got the perfect life and I had nothing, no one.
"I was beginning to think you would never show"
I spun on the spot and I stared at James. My eyes widened.
"What the hell are you doing here?"
"Is that any way to greet your oldest friend"?
"How did you get in"?
He smiled as he handed me a glass of wine.
"I have your spare keys, remember"?
"What are you doing here? Last time I saw you, you told me not to contact you again"
"Things have changed"
"Like what?" I bought the wine to my lips as I awaited his reply.
To my surprise, James didn't answer, instead unbuttoned my jacket. As he slipped it off, I could tell that something wasn't right.
"James, what's going on?"
"I love you Christian"
"Sorry?" I clutched the chair for support.
"I mean it Christian. I still love you"
"Why now"?
"What?"
"You've had all this time to come back, why now?"
"Because no one measures up to you and I want to be with you properly"
"James.."
"You're single aren't you"?
"Yeah but"
"Do you love me"?
"You know I love you"
"Do you love me like a boyfriend"?
"James what is this"?
"What do you mean"?
"You've just walked back into my life and expect us to pick up from where we left off. Its not that simple"
"Why not?"
I didn't answer. Realisation dawned onto his face.
"You're still not hung up on that guy are you"?
I breathed deeply.
"Oh Christian! Are you SERIOUSLY hung up on some guy you can't have? You could turn any straight guy, gay."
I laughed.
"I hardly think so"
"Look". James stepped closer to me, as he ran his hand down my arm. "I know I'm not this guy but I can be your best friend, the guy you know that will never leave you.. But at least give us a chance".
My mind whizzed. I couldn't believe this. James was giving me my break out. My chance to really get over Syed. He stepped closer to me.
"Tell me what you're thinking. Let me inside your head Christian, please".
"I'm thinking… that this is completely out of the blue and how can I be sure its real"
His face coloured as I turned away from him and walked over to the window.
"Christian I've never loved anyone quite like I love you"
He walked towards me, his hand partially behind his back.
"Yes, I love you. I want you to move to Surrey with me"
My face dropped at his words. Move away? From here? Away from him?
"I might not be this other guy, but I'll never leave your side, I'll always be there for you. I want to wake up next to you every single day. I want to be able to call you my own"
"Why now? But you're not him" My voice came out in little more than a whisper.
"I know Christian, I know". He ran his hand down the side of my face and I closed my eyes from his touch.
"I might not be him, and you might not love me the way you love him, but give us time and we'll work Christian. Just if you love me, in any way then that's enough because I'll love us both enough"
"I don't know" James was handing me the perfect life on a plate.
My eyes opened to find James on one knee in front of me.
"I love you Christian Clarke. Will you marry me"?