do not own these characters "Budweiser
Kitty's dress swept the wooden sidewalk as she rushed down the street.
Matt was sitting outside the jail. His legs stretched out over the sidewalk
as he leaned against the jail. Kitty tripped over Matt's long legs, falling
forward. She was caught by Festus
Festus:"Whoa there girl, where're you going in such a rush?"
Kitty adjusted her dress, gave Matt a dirty look.
Kitty: "Thank you Festus, I am going to check on Sam. He did not show up
for work. This is the first time. He must be sick or something."
Matt: "That is strange. Sam is very dependable."
Kitty looked over the horizon. A cloud of dust was rising into the darkening
sky. Out of the dust came a team of oxen, and the unusual sight of a
prairie schooner.
Matt: "It has been years since I have seen a yoke of oxen. Are there
four yokes hitched to the schooner?"
It was a handsome delivery wagon with a eight-ox team. On the side of the
red wagon was an advertisement, written in gold letters, Anheuser-Busch
Brewing Company, of St. Louis.
Kitty: "Oh no!"
Dave, a tall huskier older wagon driver, sat stiff backed, beside a younger
small skinny shot gun holding boy,and pulled the wagon to a halt in front of
them.
Dave:" evening Miss Kitty, You are a site for sore eyes , I have your order"
Kitty" That looks like a lot of beer, How much of it is for the Long
Branch?"
Dave: "All of it, I told those pencil pushing dumb bells the order was too
big, but they said you ordered it. I thought you must be having some kind
of a celebration, hear you and that Marshall were getting kind of friendly.
Hi Matt."
Matt, blushing, got a big smile on his face, lowered his hat and looked away. He
was happy word had spread as far as St. Louis that Kitty was his woman.
Kitty rolled her eyes.
Matt: "HI Dave. Who is that you got with you?"
Dave: "Miss Russell, Doctor Adams, Marshall Dillon ,Festus, this is Frank, a
green behind the ears know it all." Frank jumped down from the wagon, looked Kitty up and down, took her hand,
and kissed it softly.
Frank: "Pleased to meet you all. I do not know it all, but I do know how to
please a beautiful woman."
Dave hit him on the head with his hat.
Dave: "Get back on that wagon, leave the lady alone."
Kitty: "I did not expect you until Thursday. I do not know who I can get to
unload. Do you have the paperwork on this? How much is there? How much
do I owe you?"
Dave got the paperwork from the wagon and handed it to her. She adopted her
poker face when she saw the bottom line.
Kitty: "I do not have that much in the Long Branch safe, and the bank is
closed until 9 tomorrow."
Dave: "That is fine. We were planing to lay over anyway. The girls are kind
of tired. Do them good to get some rest."
Kitty: "What is this advertisement charge? Girls? What Girls?"
Dave: "The Budweiser Girls. They stand outside the bar and sing that
Budweiser song."
Two girls came out from behind the wagon.
Dave: "Miss Russell, this is Connie and Mary. The Budweiser girls. The big
shots say any one who sells their beer has to employ the girls."
Kitty: "I do not know ...if I can afford all this,.. welcome ladies."
Festus: "I will get a crew to get you unloaded."
Matt: "I will check on Sam."
Doc: "I will come with you in case he is hurt."
Dave: "I know this is too much. I want you to know as long as it is on the
wagon I am reasonable. Once it is taken off, it is you problem. The
company will not let you return half the order. If you refuse it, you have to
refuse it all. The long Branch will go to the bottom of the order list and
it might be a long time before I can get you a new order."
Kitty: "I will find someplace to store it. Can you pull the wagon behind
the long Branch? I will go to the bank tomorrow."
Matt and Doc knocked on Sam's door. Getting no response, they entered. The
room was dark, lit by only one small window. There were very little
furnishings. Doc checked out the ice box. It contained only a lone bottle
of spoiled milk. Matt drew his gun as they moved through the room. Matt could
see a large finger laying in Sam's bed.
Matt: "Sam, you ok?"
Sam rolled over saw the Marshall and his gun.
Sam: "What is going on, Marshall? What has happened? Is Miss Russell
all right?"
Matt: " Yes, she is ok. She sent us to check on you. Are you ok?"
Sam: "I am ok, what made her think I wasn't?"
Doc pushed past Matt and took Sam's hand. Sam pulled back.
Matt: "You did not show up for work."
Sam: "This is Tuesday ain't it? It is my day off!"
Sam looked around to make sure no one else was in his room.
Sam: "Doc, Marshall .. Miss Russell... well ...I think has woman trouble."
Doc: "Woman trouble? How is that? Say it plain."
Sam: "You know how a women gets, she forgets things,loses track of the
conversation. It has gotten so bad lately I hate to see her make change,
and she is down right nasty. You had to have noticed Marshall."
Matt: "She has been mad at me for a week. Truthfully I don't know why. When
I asked her, she said if I don't know she is not going to tell me. I don't
think she has a reason."
Doc: "Oh, she has a reason. It might not make sense to us but it sure does
to her."
Sam: "Yeah, woman trouble... the problem is... it is not the time."
Doc: "Her time?"
Sam: "You know, her time...six days into the full moon."
Mat: "He is right, it is not her time of month."
Doc: "Well, that as it might be, we better go check on her. She looked
quite upset about the beer wagon."
Sam: "Beer wagon?"
Matt: "A wagon load of beer rolled into town for the Long Branch."
Festus and a few men were unloading the wagon in the alley behind the Long
Branch. The barrels of beer seemed to fill the street.
Sam: "That's too many. Who is keeping count? Stop! Don't take any more off!"
Festus: "They said to unload the whole wagon."
Sam: "Did Dave bring this? Where is Miss Russell?"
Festus: "Her and that Dave are in her office. Where should we put this Sam?"
Sam: "Count the barrels for me Festus. I will make room in the storage room."
Festus: "Its full."
Sam: "It's full?"
Kitty: "They say it will not spoil. They do this pasteurization thing."
Sam: "They say a lot of things."
Kitty: "There is a lot more than I expected. Maybe we can put some upstairs."
Sam: "They weigh 180 lbs. each, I do not know how many we can put up
there without the floor giving way."
Kitty: "We will just stack it out here until I can think of something."
Sam: "Someone is going to steal it."
Kitty: "Sam, I cannot pay for all this without touching the money I saved
for the taxes."
Sam shook his head and threw his hands in the air. Kitty returned to her
office. Now she thought, there is 33 gallons in a barrel, 32 barrels ...Oh ..my
. Then an idea came to her. She went outside to talk to the Budweiser girls.
She heard that King Of Beer song for the nineteen time today.
Kitty: "You two sing very well. Would you happen to know the Can Can song?
Can you dance to it?"
Connie: "Yeah, we used to do it. It can be a lot of fun."
Kitty: "How would you like to make some extra money, doing the can can?"
Mary: "We better not. If Bush finds out, we will be out of a steady job."
Kitty: "Its only one song. You get breaks don't you? You can do it on your
break."
Connie: "You need more than two people to do the can can."
Kitty: "There will be five of us."
Connie: "Who does center stage?"
Kitty: "It is center bar, and that would be me. I want every man in town
to be talking about me and the Long Branch tonight, and every man not here
to feel he missed something."
Kitty had a few things to take care of before tonight. First stop, Doc's office.
Kitty: "Doc, will you do me a favor? Can you get Matt out of town tonight?"
Doc: "Now that is a switch. You normally are bugging him to stay in town.
What's up?"
Kitty: "The long Branch is going to go under if I do not sell a lot of beer
fast. So I am going to put on a Can Can type of show. You know a lot of
people think the dance is immoral. I cannot take the chance of Matt
closing me down. He closed me down two times last mouth in the height of
the drover season. I can no longer afford that."
Doc: "He had good reason to close you down, both times."
Kitty: "I am not saying he didn't, even though I do think he is harder on the
Long Branch than other places in town. The bottom line is, if he closed
me down tonight, I will lose the Long Branch to the tax man. I used every
cent I have to pay for that booze. I cannot even make payroll this week."
Doc: "If it is that important, I will try, although I do not know how with
the drovers in town."
Kitty: "Thanks Doc."
Doc reconsidered what Kitty had asked him to do. He thought about what Sam
had said, and things he had observed himself. He thought about the Can
Can - all those flips and walkovers and jumps. He thought about Kitty's age
. He did not want to betray her, but he did not want her to hurt herself.
Doc headed towards the jail. On his way, he saw Kitty leaning against a
post .
Doc: "Kitty, are you all right? You do not look so good?"
Kitty: "That's what a woman likes to hear, I am just a little tired. I will
be fine after I rest a bit."
Doc did not think Kitty was telling him the whole truth.
Doc:" Kitty, has your cycle been regular? Are you planning to do the Can
Can?"
Kitty: "I am fine. I am under a lot of pressure. I think I have been drinking
too much."
Doc thought, I will take that as a "no". Kitty started on her way.
Doc: "You should not be doing that dance. I cannot do what you ask."
Kitty: "Ok I wont." Kitty lied. "Don't worry about it."
Doc bumped into Festus as he entered the jail.
Doc: "You got to stop her."
Matt: "Stop who from what?"
Doc: "Kitty. She is going to do that Can Can dance tonight at the Long
Branch. You know that dance is for young girls. Kitty is pushing 40."
Matt got a silly smile on his face.
Matt: "I think she is 36. 40 is not that old. She is strong as a horse. Be
kind of nice to see her do the Can Can."
Festus: "She is 42. She has been doing jumps all day. Those other girls do
that flipping thing. Miss Kitty just jumps off the bar upside down."
Matt: "Upside down?"
Festus: "I am the one who is going to catch her, don't you see?"
Matt: "If anyone its going to catch her, it is going to be me."
Kitty entered the jail, dressed in a small Can Can dress with feathered
headpiece and choker. This full length red and black dress with high-low
hem, glovelettes, petticoat, and bloomers, was a little too small for
Kitty. She tied herself into it, causing her breasts to pop up over the
top. As she walked, her long legs were exposed a little higher than she
would have liked. She knew the Can Can was a controversial dance, banned in a
few states. If she could pull this off, it would bring men in from miles
around. She would be selling to a full house even in the off season.
Kitty: "Matt, you can catch me any time. I came over to make sure there
would be no problems tonight. The Can Can is not banned in Kansas."
Matt: "You should not be walking around town in that."
Doc: "Kitty, you are going to damage the reputation you worked so hard on."
Kitty: "Bottom line, you can not eat respectability. I am a saloon girl. Any
one who does not like that can kiss my ..."
Matt: "Is there room in the Long Branch to do a Can Can?"
Kitty: "No, The Budweiser girls are going to do a few flips, and I am going
to jump off the bar."
Doc: "You're not going to jump off no bar upside down."
Kitty: "No Doc. The last time I did it I felt kind of sick. Festus, I think
I am going to jump straight up in the air, maybe turnaround backwards. You
think you can catch me?"
Matt: "I will catch you."
Doc: "There will be no jumping. I will not permit it. It is not in your
best interest."
Kitty: "I lose the Long Branch, I will have to go back to ...Do you know
what kind of man a old hooker gets? Let me tell you!"
Matt: "it will never come to that. I have an idea."
As word that Miss Russell was going to do the Can Can at the Long Branch
spread, the saloon filled up. Sam had to rope a space off for the dance.
The street was filling with men who could not fit in the bar. The
Budweiser girls were singing the King of beer song, in their Can Can dress
pleasing the men in the street. It was all very festive.
Matt and Doc watched from the jail.
Matt: "This is starting to get out of hand. Where are all these men coming
from?"
Doc: "Kitty can really get hurt, Matt. Hurt bad. I know she is afraid of
poverty, but there are worse things."
Just then the music from the Long Branch changed. They were now playing that
Can Can song. It went off without a hitch. The Budweiser girls with 2 of
Kitty's girls did high kicks in unison that exposed both the petticoat and
the leg. The high-energy, physically demanding dance was a delight to the
Dodge city cowboys, but the person they came to see had not appeared,
causing them to become a bit rowdy. The girls were doing high kicks on the
bar when Kitty joined them. The men were surprised that she could kick as
high as the younger girls. She did get a little sick as she turned and
threw her dress up over her head exposing ruffled panties and fish net
stockings. The men roared as the Budweiser girls did cartwheels, coming off
the bar. Kitty's girls did splits, leaving Kitty alone on the bar swinging
her dress and doing high kicks as the song was coming to a end. Kitty took
a running start down the length of the bar. She jumped high into the air, and did a
backward walkover. Her arm stretched high into the air causing her breasts
to be a little over exposed. As she came out of the air, the dress went up
over her head. She landed in Matt Dillon's arms.
Kitty: "Get me out of here," she whispered. "I am going to be sick."
The men were going wild. Matt had to yell at the top of his lungs.
Matt: "Miss Russell, you are under arrest on a morals charge and for causing a
public nuisance!"
Pinning her hands behind her back, Marshall Dillon Handcuffed her and pulled
her toward the door. The men were now yelling at Matt.
Sam: "You want to help Miss Russell, buy a beer for fine money."
The Long Branch sold more beer in one hour than in the last three months.
Everyone was having a grand old time. The men could not stop talking about
Miss Kitty coming off that bar and the Marshall arresting her.
At the jail, Matt opened the door and Kitty stepped in. She was surprised to see
the table had a table cloth, candles, and good china.
Matt: " Miss Russell, will you please have dinner with me?"
Kitty: "I can not. I seem to be tied up."
Matt took off the cuffs. As they sat down for a quiet dinner, there was a
loud sound of glass being broken.
Kitty: "It is only my window. Just stay."
Gun fire made Matt head for the Long Branch. Kitty put her feet on the
table as Doc entered the jail.
Doc: "How are you doing?"
Kitty: "I was sick, but I am fine now. I guess you were right. I am too old
to do the Can Can. ... I think I am going to sell a lot of beer."
Doc: "I think so also. Every bar in town is closed, except the Long
Branch. I think they will be talking about this for years to come. What are
you going to do tomorrow when the Budweiser girls leave?"
Kitty: "The town Marshall is going to put me in jail, on a morals charge.
Guess we cannot do that dance."
Doc: "Thank God, Kitty it was never your age. I was concerned that you
might be with child."
Kitty looked at Matt's calendar.
Kitty: "What date is this Doc? I have been so busy, is it possible?
"Doc why you let me do that jump?!"