Silly Little Boys
Chapter One
-Edward POV-
You know how, in the movies, the dream guy is always perfect- handsome, loving, caring, and kind? Well, that's me. Minus the loving and caring shit- I'm not a fucking homo.
"Good morning dick-biscuit" Someone sung loudly in my ear. I jerked up from the couch only to be shoved roughly to the floor. Booming laughter rung out from behind me- Emmett. I sighed loudly, running a hand down my face and turning towards him, only to see...a penis.
"Ugh! Fuck," I growled "Emmett! Put some fucking pants on!" I stood up, swaying slightly while I observed the damage from our party last night.
"Aw, you like it. Admit it." Emmett said...swinging his hips back and forth and winking at me.
I groaned. "No Emmett, I don't like it" He frowned at me and turned around to sort through a pile of crap that was overflowing the coffee table. Eventually he found his pants and started pulling them on when Jasper came down the stairs- looking hung-over, to say the least.
When he reached the bottom step he stopped- looking from Emmett, to me, to the mess that was surrounding all of us.
"Fuck" He finally said. I nodded and looked over at the clock.
"Dad's going to be here in...Fifty minutes" I muttered, sitting back down on the couch.
"Fuck" Jasper said again. "Well, what should we do?" He added after studying the clock for a long moment. I shook my head slowly, and was about to answer when a chorus of giggles floated down the stairs.
Jasper turned to see four girls in nothing but their undergarments pile out of his room and start walking down the stairs. I looked over at Emmett to see him taking a swig out of a half empty beer bottle from last night. He just shrugged at me and sat down on the couch opposite.
"Ladies" Jasper greeted them with a salute as they passed him. He headed over to the front door, opening it for them as he gestured them out with a lazy grin.
"Thanks for last night" He murmured to the last girl- slapping her hard on the ass. She squealed and kissed him on the cheek before following her friends out the door. He closed it behind her and turned to us, running a hand though his dirty blonde hair and leaning against the wall.
"How the hell do we get rid of all of this shit before Mom and Dad get home?" He asked, turning towards me with his eyebrows raised. I turned to Emmett, silently asking him the same thing.
"What?" He asked, putting down the now empty bottle next to his foot. "I can't think right now, I'm seriously hung-over and...You know what?" He blinked at me, "We get caught like this all the time, why the fuck should we suddenly care if we get grounded for a week?" He finished incredulously.
Jasper had made his way over to me during Emmett's reasoning and was now sitting next to me on the couch, most likely thinking over what he just said.
He finally spoke, "Yeah...I guess you're right." He leaned back on the couch, lifting his leg to pull out a packet of cigarettes from underneath him.
"What the hell even happened last night?" I asked him, suddenly worried we had broken one of Mom's ornaments or something. Emmett flicked a pretzel he had found on the couch at me and kicked his legs up on the coffee table, knocking over a dozen cans and bottles in the process.
"Eddie," He started in a knowing voice "Both Jasper and I know about your homosexual tendencies-" This earned a hearty snort from Jasper, "but we're you big brothers...so we're not going to tell anyone about it...IF you clean the house." He finished with a grin, showing off his dimples.
"And...No." I informed him "I am NOT going to clean the whole fucking house just because you bully me into it. Besides, I think you're really the gay one, considering that one time at-"
But I was cut off when Emmett jumped at me, growling viscously. Jasper was now howling with laughter, only causing Emmett to blush furiously.
"You promised you wouldn't talk about that!" He hit me across the head lightly "And for fucks sake, it was a dare!" He clambered off me and charged into the kitchen, grumbling as he searched the fridge.
I laughed freely and lay my head back on the cold wooden floorboards, suddenly tired.
"Well," Jasper sighed, rubbing his stubble thoughtfully "We'd better brace ourselves, lads" I chuckled at that, remembering the times when we were kids and the three of us had knocked something over while wrestling and were waiting the harsh impact of our Mother.
"Oh FUCK!" Emmett howled suddenly from the kitchen, causing Jasper and I to jump.
"Some dick pissed in the sink!"
A/N
Thanks all for reading. Please review and let me know what you think!
I'll post the next chapter next Sunday.
Thanks for reading my lovelies
p.s. The next chapter will probably be longer, this was just a taster, really.
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