If today was your last day?
It worried him. plain and simple, it was a constant nagging sound in the back of his mind, that was the reason the manor had no clocks, the tick-tock noise reminded him of his slowly draining life. it worried him. what if Sebastian simply got bored? there was no doubt in his mind that Sebastian wasn't truly bound to any contract. he was sure it meant nothing to sebastian, and that worried him. for once he wished 'something was his' no, he should rephrase that, something wouldn't do. it had to be Sebastian. but that was simply insane...
"yes, insane..." "what is?" Ciel resisted the urge to jump out of his skin, far too use to this by now "Sebastian, please, don't do that..." "I apologize." perhaps it was simply his recent train of thought driving him mad, but he couldn't help it. "are you really?" sebastian blinked, utterly thrown off gaurd "hm?" "are you really sorry?" "of course, young-" "don't lie to me! you promised me you wouldn't lie, so tell me the truth..." "i see...i understand what's wrong young master...i won't betray you...i hold to my word." "that isn't what's bothering me. now answer the question..." "is that an order?" "would it really matter?" Sebastian closed his eyes, smiling ruefully "no, i suppose not." "then...if that's the case...i ask you not as a master... but as someone who feels and wishes to be...close to you...please...tell me the truth, are you sorry for scaring me? or is it part of the act?" "did i scare you? i didn't think i had startled you bad enough to be called scaring..." sebastian was frowning, "not just this time...but always...you leave that impending feeling...the feeling of doom like i have no hope...after all this...am i still just a meal to you...i wanted nothing more than revenge...but now, i see how foolish i was, revenge was not my desire...i thought, if i killed them, my parents would love me again...and i look back and think...i just wanted to know that i was still loved, still cared for...i just want someone to love me...but that's silly to be speaking with you about, you don't think demons are capable of feeling, are they?"
Sebastian bowed his head, "no." but the ache in his heart told him otherwise, but this was strictly buisness, this boy was so much stronger than the others, he knew that this boy, this child would be the only one who didn't beg him to spare his life, this boy had one reason to live, revenge. and when that was done, he simply didn't care wether he died, he was tied strongly to no one. but to think his young master had fallen in love? perhaps with elizebeth? or Finnian, the two seemed far too close...
Ciel was smiling wistfully, painfully, he ripped his gaze from sebastian to stare out the library window, seated on the windowsill "i see...leave me alone...i wish to be left alone now..." Sebastian bowed "of course..." he closed the door to the library behind him, leaning against the mahogany wood, putting his forhead to it, "ciel..." he breathed out the name quietly, as if it was a sin, on the other side of the door, Ciel was doing the same thing, tears leaking from his eyes,
"Yes, your soul will be the sweetest i've ever tasted, but what if i can't rip life from your body? what if i simply can't hurt you, my Ciel, My beautiful caged bird...if today was your last day, if you had to choose, would you choose this heartbreaking love? or would you choose revenge? would you kiss someones lips as they fall asleep knowing they won't wake up to you? or would you kiss someones eyes as they fall asleep knowing they won't wake ever again?"