Now that that's done, lets begin the fun, huh? We're gonna start this baby with a little parody by me, Mad Cow, to the tune of Matchbox 20's 'If You're Gone'. Without further ado, 'If You're Hurt'!
I think you're already hurt
I think I'm already gone
I think we'll fix you right up now
You think I'm young, I think you're wrong
I think I've had experience
Feels like I'm 40 years old
I thought this would get me respect
But you refuse treatment-more help won't come
I think you're real hurt-To help you we'll try
I think you will need- our help in your life
I think you're just scared- Don't think too much
You think we're too young it's a problem, we're dealing
If you're hurt- Maybe you should let go
We'll give you an awful lot of breathing room
We've got lots of training
If you're hurt- we'll come to the call
But if you refuse to let us help you
We can't help at all
I bet you're in real pain
I bet if we'd help you'd survive
I'd bet my hands we can save you
We promise help- let us give you a ride
I think you're real hurt-To help you we'll try
I think you will need- our help in your life
I think you're just scared- Don't think too much
You think we're too young it's a problem, we're dealing
If you're hurt- Maybe you should let go
We'll give you an awful lot of breathing room
We've got lots of training
If you're hurt- we'll come to the call
But if you refuse to let us help you
We can't help at all
I think you're real hurt-To help you we'll try
I think you will need- our help in your life
I think you're just scared- Don't think too much
You think we're too young it's a problem, we're dealing
Well, now that was fun, t'wasn't it? Before we get to another song, let's take a quick commercial break.
Are you a whiz at song parodies? Does that new song on the radio remind you of your favorite IaHB character? Then by all means, send them to vladimirthedancinghampster@yahoo.com! Songs are the staple of this show, folks, and as I've learned from this broadcast, it's really hard to come up with many songs all by my lonesome! ;) So remember, that address once again is vladimirthedancinghapmster@yahoo.com.
Friends. Camaraderie. A whole bunch of weird inside jokes you can hopelessly confuse your friends about. That's what you'll get when you join BleacherJunkiesN PrettyPerfects, the chat room for fan fic writers and readers. You have to be invited to join, but getting the invitation is the easy part (the hard part is trying to understand the insanity)...just e-mail vladimirthedancinghampster@yahoo.com, and you've got a spot among us! :D
And mow back to the insanity! Here's another song by Mad Cow, 'Crazy for this EMT', to the tune of Evan & Jaron's 'Crazy for this Girl'!
He rolls the window down
And he
Talks over the sound
Of the siren up above
And I don't know why
But he's got my love
Would you look and him
He looks at me
He's got me givin IV constantly
Don't think he knows how I feel.
He drives that ambulance
Very well
I wonder if someone else can tell
I'm crazy for this EMT.
He came to comfort me
That night
My dad's heart failed
And what was I thinking when
He gave that that
Ugly leprechaun?
Would you look and him
He looks at me
He's got me givin IV constantly
Don't think he knows how I feel.
He drives that ambulance
Very well
I wonder if someone else can tell
I'm crazy for this EMT.
Right now
Stat to stat
All my fears
Pushed aside
And right now
Ready to spend the rest of my life
As his nurse
Would you look and him
He looks at me
He's got me givin IV constantly
Don't think he knows how I feel.
He drives that ambulance
Very well
I wonder if someone else can tell
I'm crazy for this EMT.
Would you look and him
He looks at me
He's got me givin IV constantly
Don't think he knows how I feel.
He drives that ambulance
Very well
I wonder if someone else can tell
I'm crazy for this EMT.
Let's get off this romance crap, shall we? Here's a fast paced song, 'Who Let the Ambulance Out?' by (guess who?) Mad Cow, to the tune of the Baha Men's 'Who Let the Dogs Out?'
Who let the ambulance out
{vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom}
{vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom}
{vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom}
{vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom}
Who let the ambulance out? {vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom}
Who let the ambulance out? {vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom}
The ambulance fast it can get through traffic {Move over, move over!}
And Hank is speeding along {Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Ahh!}
And we all on the floor praying {Heeeelp me!}
We hope we get to the call
Alive, hope we'll slow down
Who let the ambulance out? {vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom}
Who let the ambulance out? {vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom}
Who let the ambulance out? {vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom}
Who let the ambulance out? {vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom}
I'll see ya when we reach our destination
We'll come when we're around
Get back to the hospital, home away from home
It be our second home
{vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom}
{vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom}
{vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom}
{vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom}
I'm gonna hurl (Gro-ooss gross!)
I gotta hold on real tight (Aaaaaah!)
Because hey, this ambulance don't gotta follow no speed limits (Screeeech)
You turn a corner and you leave your lunch behind
Wish my shift was over now
Who let the ambulance out? {vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom}
Who let the ambulance out? {vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom}
Who let the ambulance out? {vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom}
Who let the ambulance out? {vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom}
Let me end that song by saying I was on caffeine when I
wrote it, and really can't explain it. ;)
We have a special guest hanging out in the studio today,
and he's consented to give an interview. Everyone welcome Tyler to the
In a Downbeat Hour (yaaay!) A reminder...this is my font, and Tyler will
talk in Gravure Bold
So, Tyler, how do you like being an EMT?
Being a firefighter's real great!
*raises eyebrow* I didn't know you were a firefighter.
Yeah! We get to travel around in that ambulance
and fight fires!
Aren't you an EMT?
Oh yeah! I always get EMT and Firefighters
confused.
Riiiiiight. Let's change subjects. What do you think about Val?
She's puuurdy.
Purdy? Who are you, George Bush?
I am his 3rd cousin.
AACK!! That explains the stupidness, and your squinty seedy eyes! How
dare you, who's related to him dare sit in my chair? I am a Texan,
who doesn't appreciate the way he does SQUAT for Texas, and then uses us
to gain popularity, and THEN THROWS A BALL THAT COULD BE THE SET FOR THE
MOVIE 'HICK GOES TO THE BIG CITY', USING EVERY FREAKING TEXAN STEREOTYPE
HE CAN FREAKING FIND!!! GET OUT!!
*Pretty Perfects and Republicans throw tomatoes at Mad Cow*
*Mad Cow ducks* AACK! Fine, fine, I'll let him stay! Just stop the
tomatoes!
Alrighty then. Next question. *rubs Tyler's arm suggestively*
*purring tone* Hello, there. How are youuu today, cutie?
Uuuum....fine.
*Mad Cow jolts back into reality* *screams in horror of what she just
did* AAACK! Gwendolyn, I didn't even know you were one of my personalities!!
*purring tone is back* You played me, Maddy, so now I am you.
*purring tone gone* AAHHH! I'm DOOMED to become a (single) air headed
dramatic flirt who breaks into song at random moments for the rest of my
life!!!
Um...Mad Cow, you're freaking me out. I think
I'm gonna go now. *leaves*
*purring tone* Bye Cutie!
*purring tone gone* Hey, Gwenie, you scared him off. I guess you are
good for something.
*purring tone* Don't call me Gwenie.
*sans purring tone* Whatever you say, Gwenie. And now before I hopelessly
confuse and freak out the readers, let's go to a song by Mad Cow called
'What Hurts You Again?' to the tune of Blink-182's 'What's My Age Again?'
We got a call,
It was a Friday night
Turned on the siren
To ride fast so traffic we wouldn't fight
We rode real fast
And We got to the call,
Then I turned on the IV
And that's about the time Hank hit a tree
We all fear his driving seriously
But we were unhurt so we did our job
We really overachieve
So we said the the guy
What hurt you again?
What hurts you again?
And later on,
On the drive home
Hank hit
A telephone pole
Everything was fine
So we drove on
And went over 60 miles
That's about the time we got no speeding tickets
No one bothers with an ambulance
So we turned to the guy in the back
He said we should take Drivers Ed
What's Drivers Ed?
What's Drivers Ed?
And that's about the time Hank hit a tree
We all fear his driving seriously
But we were unhurt so we did our job
We really overachieve
So we said the the guy
What hurt you again?
That's about the time we got smiled by a lady
People love when you're an EMT
We can get away with so much crap
Don't you wish you drive with us?
We never get speeding tickets
What are tickets again?
What are tickets again?
Hmm...maybe I'll make Hank's bad driving skills an ongoing joke. Anyway, and now a quick commercial break!
Do you have a story you've written you're just dying to tell the world about? Then why not advertise it on IaHB FM? Simply send an e-mail to vladimirthedancinghampster@yahoo.com with your ad. However, please keep in mind that this broadcast only happens every other Sunday, so try not to post your story way in advance!
Writers wanted! Writers wanted! Do you constantly get reviews telling you that you need to use better grammar? You you have a problem with spelling? Then why don't you just get a BETA Reader? And who better than a Writers U certified one? All you have to do is write to animorph51@aol.com and say that you're interested in having a story read. Easy as 1, 2, 3! :D
Well folks, because I had no submissions, this broadcast is gonna be cut short. Want it to be longer? Then SUBMIT SOMETHING! Anyway, I'm gonna leave you with another song by Mad Cow, 'Popular', to the tune of Dexter Freebish's 'Leaving Town'. This is Mad Cow signing off...BLEACHER JUNKIES RULE! :)
Oh at school you are golden you're never lonely and you're never
home.
Know you didn't used to be snooty You've lost all your feeling for
outcasts.
Paint your nails and go grab your pom-poms you don't wanna miss
your little game
Just because we got to high school, so powerful you rule, you make
all guys drool
But when life is breaking down, and the crowd isn't around
You'll come running back to my frown and I'll be there, yes I'll
be there
Cause I remember how we once played together,
And how you used to say that friends were forever.
But got to high school; you didn't change for the better
You became popular
Popular
Cheerleader the world's in your pocket, you're only sane by a thread
Jump up and down and hang with the EMT crowd, this world is your
playground and you are the Queen
But when life is breaking down, and the crowd isn't around
You'll come running back to my frown and I'll be there, yes I'll
be there
Cause I remember how we once played together,
And how you used to say that friends were forever.
But got to high school; you didn't change for the better
You became popular
Popular
Nothing in life will ever be that easy
It doesn't you can't be different
I know you and deep inside the normal is just for rent.
But when life is breaking down, and the crowd isn't around
You'll come running back to my frown and I'll be there, yes I'll
be there
Cause I remember how we once played together,
And how you used to say that friends were forever.
But got to high school; you didn't change for the better
You became popular
Popular
And on the next In a Downbeat Hour...Mad Cow parodies a
song by the Meaty Cheesy Boys (a parody of a parody?), hopefully people
with submit something, and another IaHB character will give a very...interesting...interview!