"Dude, Mattie, come up here!" A loud voice interrupted Matthew's thoughts. Matthew turned towards the voice, startled. Of course. It was his brother, Alfred. He was … Matthew squinted. He was –

"Alfred, why are you on the roof?" Matthew asked.

"It's so cool up here! Come on, broseph!" Alfred hollered, waving frantically.

"Stop calling me 'broseph'," Matthew protested as he scaled the ladder propped up on the side of the house.

Alfred was peering over the edge of his roof, his butt in the air.

Matthew stifled laughter. "You are an idiot."

"Are not!" Oh, he wanted to play like that.

"Are too."

"Dee too."

"What the hell?" Matthew seriously wondered if his brother had been dropped on his head as a child.

Alfred turned around with a scathing look. "R2-D2, man. Don't you remember Star Wars?" Oh.

Alfred flopped onto his back and gazed at the stars, his head nearly hanging off the roof.

"You're going to die." Mathew stated bluntly.

Alfred scrambled to sit up and huffed. "I'm too awesome to die!"

"You sound like Gilbert."

"No but seriously, dude." Alfred stood up. "I am a hero, and I CAN'T DIE! Well, I can't die of boring stuff like old age or diseases. Or falling off roofs."

"I'd rather like to pass away painlessly, thank you very much." Matthew sat down.

"That's 'cuz you're boring." Alfred huffed again.

"So you want to die of external sources, instead of dying naturally?" Matthew questioned, his brain whirring.

"Yup!" Alfred grinned and plopped down.

"You do realize that's how a lobster dies, right?" Matthew snorted.

"Eww, lobsters are only good to eat. I'm not a lobster." Alfred grimaced.

Matthew smirked and stood up. "Imagine this. You're a hero, decked out in red, soaring through the air. You save lives and help people, and you never die. Everybody worships you!" Matthew moved his hand with his story, spinning and gesticulating.

Alfred looked up, seemingly enthralled, his eyes twinkling. "What's my superhero name?"

Matthew tried not to laugh. "You're called … LOBSTER MAN!"

Alfred whined, his face falling as he flopped onto his stomach. Matthew roared with laughter, doubling over and wheezing.

"It's not that funny!"

"Yes, it is." Matthew's lips twisted into a wicked grin. "Lobster Man."

"Not cool, Mattie."

"What's not cool, Lobster Man?" Matthew snickered.

Alfred groaned. "This!"

"What?" Innocent.

"You're infuriating."

Matthew slung an arm over Alfred's shoulders, messing up his brother's hair.

Honestly, this is pointless. 410 words of pointlessness. I don't even know anymore.