Look into My Eyes (the eyes of a murderer)

[disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters I write about. Even though I dream of one day owning Lucius and Severus, I know it will never happen unless I won a million gazillion dollars and brought them.

[A/N: Just another Lily/Severus fanfic. I love their fanfics a lot, so we should all keep writing about them!

[Summary: Severus has just received the Dark Mark on his left forearm and Lily discovers it. Now, their friendship is being tested. I'd say the time period here is 7th year.

Lily and Severus sat in the darkening library, conversing in a low whisper. Lily looked on the verge of tears. How could he even think about doing this and not thinking of anyone else?

A few hours earlier……

"Lily, I need to talk to you about something," said Severus rubbing his left forearm. "It's kind of important."

"Okay. Do you mean now?" Lily was in a hurry to get to class.

"Yes, do you have a minute?"

"Uh, Sev, can't it wait until later? I really have to get to Charms." Lily saw something on Severus' arm, but didn't stop to ask about it.

"Okay Lily"

Seeing that he was a bit disappointed, she hurriedly yelled "Meet me in the library! Like around 7:30!"

Smiling a bit, Severus said "Okay!"

It was a cold day outside as Severus sat under a tree thinking about what just happened a week ago. He rubbed his forearm again. It ached at the slightest touch. Could he really tell Lily of what was going on? "She'd hate me," thought Severus. He made the decision to join his side. But was it the right choice? Severus sighed and made his way back inside the castle. It was almost time to meet Lily. He decided not to tell her.

Back in the library……

"So Severus, what did you have to tell me?"

"Oh, that. Well, I got a B on that Charms paper you helped me with. I'll be really prepared for that test tomorrow for sure!"

"Well, that's great Sev. I'm so happy for you."

Severus absent-mindedly scratched the burn mark on his arm. Lily looked at it and gasped.

"SEVERUS! I KNEW IT! HOW COULD YOU?"

"How could I what?" he spat not looking at Lily.

"HOW COULD YOU DO THAT!" pointing to his arm.

"Mind your business. I have things all under control."

"WHAT IF YOU GET KILLED DOING THIS?" Lily whispered harshly.

"I will be okay Lily," still not meeting her eyes.

"NO YOU WON'T! Severus, can't you get out? Can't you say you changed your mind?"

"LILY THIS ISN'T SOMETHING I CAN JUST FALL INTO AND FALL OUT OF! THAT'S A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH!" he spat viciously, his black eyes flashing dangerously.

"YOU'RE SO SELFISH SEVERUS! YOU'RE ONLY THINKING OF YOURSELF!" Lily said, hoping this would change his mind a little.

"WHY SHOULD I THINK OF ANYONE ELSE? NO ONE ELSE CARES ABOUT ME!"

Getting up, Lily whispered, "Maybe I do Severus. Did you ever stop to think about that?" and she walked out of the library.

Severus sat thinking about how things were going now. He couldn't get out of this now. It was too late for all that. He sighed and went to Slytherin common room.

The next day…….

It was getting dark out and Lily was sitting under a tree with her Potions essay. She was really stuck on what to do. She watched the Giant Squid eat some bread that she had just thrown into the lake. Then, someone sat on the side of her. It was Severus. He had been looking for her all day.

"Lily, I did great on my Charms test! Thanks for helping me this whole time."

Lily didn't want to listen to what a Death Eater had to say.

"So what? Why would a Death Eater need Charms anyway?"

"Lily, I'm sorry about that, but there is no way I can turn back now. I'm in this for life. He could kill me." Severus said looking down at the mark that Voldemort had burned into his skin. He was a Death Eater now.

"Couldn't you go to Dumbledore and he'll protect you."

"No, Dumbledore would never protect someone who has turned against him." Spat Severus. "HE WOULD WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH ME!"

They looked back out at the lake. Lily stood up and stretched. She didn't want to argue anymore. He didn't want to listen and she felt like a fool, telling Severus how she felt about him.

"About last night, did you really mean that?" said Severus. It had been on his mind all day.

"Mean what?" Lily turned to face him. His long, black hair was in his face, covering his eyes.

"Do you really care about me? Do you really mean that?"

"Severus, I care about you so much, but you're going off to do something that could get you killed." She sighed.

Severus stepped closer to Lily. The wind was blowing her hair into her face. He brushed it out of the way. He loved the way those green eyes looked, the way they shimmered.

"I thought you liked that prat Potter. What about him?" Severus whispered.

"I like you Sev, but I feel so foolish telling you this. Don't you…."

With that, Severus kissed Lily under the moonlight, but Lily pulled away. She was crying. She ran away, back to the castle.

Severus stood standing there, not daring to move. Why did she leave?

Lily didn't understand why she left herself. She was afraid to be near Severus now. He was a Death Eater, and she didn't want anything to do with that. She would have to forget about Severus. She would have to move on.