House… The New Hatori

Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket or House. I just own my imaginary Hatori plushie collection.

Summary: Hatori gets fed up with the problems of the Zodiac members, so he calls his old collogue… Gregory House, of Princeton Placebo Teaching Hospital. Oh what fun House has diagnosing each Sohma member… (evil grin)

Hatori sighed as he finished filling out a prescription for Akito's anti-depressants. This was tiresome… depressants for Momiji, steroids for Kisa, marijuana for Hiro… the list went on…

"Hari… hey Hari!" an annoying voice called. "You don't look so good Hari… do you have a fever? Oh! I know what'll cheer you up! Watch me do ballet!" Momiji said as he spun around the room, crashing into several random objects along the way.

"Hatori-san… Hatori-san? I need more sedatives for Ritsu-kun… it seems he ran out."

"I gave you the prescription 2 hours ago."

"Umm… yeah I know Hatori-san."

Hatori smacked his head on his desk. That was it. He picked up the phone and dialed the number of an old friend from collage. He had to make sure he spoke intelligible English. He also had to make sure he dialed the hospital number right.

"Hello. This is Mary from the Princeton Placebo Teaching Hospital walk-in clinic… how may I help you?"

Hatori slowly registered the English words, then replied. "Hello. I'm Sohm- Hatori Sohma, I am looking for a 'Gregory House' please." He had forgotten that in America your family name came last.

"Yes one moment." There was some random music playing. Hatori was about to start ripping his hair out and cutting his ears off by the time a gruff voice was heard over the phone.

"Who is it that interrupted my lunch?"

Yeah, Hatori had dialed the right number. "It's Hatori Sohma from collage. I was wondering if you wouldn't mind coming to visit me for a while… and helping me with my family… I am the family doctor and-"

"You're in the area?"

"Well…"

"You'll pay for my travel, and explain to Cuddy it's an emergency?"

"Umm I suppo-"

"Fine. Organize the plane tickets ectera and get back to me." Click.

Wow… That had gone faster than expected. Hatori sighed, Greg hadn't changed a bit. Carefully Hatori hung up his phone and then picked it back up, dialing the nearest… and cheapest… airport.

House walked to Cuddy's office with a smile. Now he didn't have to do clinic duty.