Author's Note: This is just an idea I had. I've never written a semi-alternate-universe for Durarara, but I noticed that the Mikado/Kida fandom is severely lacking in fics and this is my lame attempt to rectify it. I'm pretty big on this series and as the anime progresses I'm pretty sure the love for this pairing will also grow. And speaking of growth...

【All change is not growth, as all movement is not forward】

The phrase, nobody move, this is a stick up, is such an overused cliché, Mikado supposed it made things more anticlimactic than suspenseful.

When he'd sit on the floor of his room, trying to mindlessly kill boredom with a bag of convenience store snacks, he would come across those old western movies on television and they'd all be caught saying the same thing. As the protagonists charged into a store or a bar with their pistols in the air these Hog tying, cattle roping bandits would spout the same cheesy line that would make Mikado sigh, question the prowess of American cinema, before rolling his eyes and retreating back to his computer. Today the delivery was not really different.

"Nobody move, this is a stick up!... Haha, I've always wanted to say that."

Except for at this particular moment in time, Mikado did not have a chat room screen to hide him from this absurdity. He did not have a television set in front of him, though he was sure that if he did it would make this predicament a lot easier to stomach. Because the harsh reality was, this was real, and oh so very not entertaining. With his hands in the air, Mikado and several other innocent civilians effectively froze and just god, why did this have to happen to him today?

"On your knees, pockets open now, not a word!"

Mikado sunk fluidly while others were forced to the ground with a rough push. The people that came in the bank earlier didn't look physically intimidating, but coming from him, who sadly lacked in any muscle strength or body hair, his own input on the matter wasn't exactly comforting. Besides, they didn't need to be big and bulky since the crowbars in their hands and knifes were all the intimidation anyone needed. Mikado shakily pulled out whatever he had in his pocket, and was surprised that he was one of the very few to not soil himself, somehow managing to follow the command with little difficulty.

The young sixteen year old didn't know what was worse. The fact that he, having barely accomplished anything in the span of his life, might die at the hands of criminals? Or the sad, mind numbing truth that those same criminals were holding up a bank with retired euphemisms.

He honestly didn't know whether he should laugh or cry.

"Dump yours purses, wallets, everything on the floor and stay down. Nobody try anything funny, ya hear?" A rather chunky fellow, with a frightening, shark toothed mask hissed, and Mikado grimaced. Like they would try anything funny with a bunch of blunt objects shoved in their faces. Mikado listened to what they said. Throwing his wallet in a pile, he scrambled to the corner with the others on his knees. A few of the robbers went up to talk to the teller, and everyone watched quietly as they haggled her for all the money in the register.

This was all such a new experience for him.

Ah, you know. This. Mikado had never been in danger before. Maybe it was a little sad, and kind of sheltered, but the closest thing he'd gotten to a near death experience had been when he slipped in the river as a kid. He was raised in the country, which entailed patches of grass and dull, uneventful days of sitting around and skipping rocks. This was his second week in the city so he wasn't too familiar on its ins and out yet, but he learned quickly that Ikebukuro was a twisting, turning maze of buildings, back alleys, and secret spots.

Mikado was amazed that people were all shapes and sizes here, for variation was scarce in flavor back in his backwater hometown, Saitama, where he'd lived for the past sixteen years. There, everything was close by. People's banks where their empty mayonnaise jars, where he remembered keeping a large number of coins and cash of every sort. The nearest convenience store was usually his neighbor's fridge, where his parents would ask for milk, butter—any excuse really to avoid driving to the next town over—until they'd gotten tired of interacting at all in a mundane sort of back and forth.

Mikado hadn't even seen a real bank until he moved here, so it took him a while to find this place. Honestly, he'd been too busy getting settled in to run this errand until now. Walking here had been a last minute decision, since Mikado initially told himself he would come here tomorrow when it was less busy. But for whatever reason he came today, and all he'd wanted to do was check how much money his parents left him. A pretty ordinary motive, seeing as they were helping him pay his way through college by helping him get an apartment.

Simply put, Mikado guessed he could be considered a genius though he never really felt like one. At sixteen, believe it or not, Mikado had been eligible to skip ahead. Way ahead. Having breezed through his school work with flying colors, and exhibiting an IQ well past his years, it gave him the opportunity to study at Raira University in Ikebukuro. Where only the elite—in more familiar terms, the nerds—went to harness more knowledge and become successful.

Ah-hah, not that he had any ambitions to become some sort of powerful politician or anything.

Mikado had smaller dreams that he wished to bring to fruition. He'd like to build the world's best, internet security system, or work for himself. He wasn't entirely sure. He was, or at least some have claimed, an intellectual phenomenon in the technological community, and having cracked multiple codes, patched himself through otherwise restricted websites, he'd helped a lot of smaller company's in the past secure their assets. He even started doing it all for fun.

Seeing in numbers gave Mikado a thrill, because it was the power to see what many others couldn't. Yet consequently, his parents noted he became a recluse, and Mikado couldn't even argue the point because it was painfully true. He was barricaded in his room most of the time, and if friends on the internet didn't count (his parents insisted they didn't) he had made zero acquaintances during the brief period he was in high school and at the rate he was going, that quota wouldn't change.

He wasn't athletic, didn't join any clubs, so one could only imagine what his birthdays were like. Not very eventful – though he expected as much. He was average in appearance as average could be. Not having any big, distinguishing features apart from his blue eyes, and peculiar name. He just wasn't popular and never expected himself (apart from his brain) to become the object of anyone's fixation or intrigue, so it was a sad realization that no one could vouch for him if the robbers decided to brutally beat him to death first.

Mikado never expected this new chapter in his life would start with him emptying the contents of his wallet. Even he was mildly disappointed by how little he had. Letting them peruse his sorry excuse for cash with a soft snort, he knew the robbers weren't very pleased when they noticed all he had were a few yen, a student ID, and a curious bit of blue string.

"What are you, homeless?" One of them snarled, then they threw it at his face. He caught it. On the bright side, least he got his wallet back. Even though he was mildly offended it wasn't good enough for them. Mikado frowned to himself and stuffed it back in his pocket.

"E-excuse me…" A shy voice whispered to his right. Mikado turned his head and what he saw almost had him gaping. This young girl was kneeling next to him with her hands behind her back. Breasts—oh god was he sorry, but he couldn't look away—in all their monstrous size, jiggling from her shift in posture as she stared at him with cautious interest. "…I'm sorry but…I couldn't help but notice your ID? I go to Raira so…"

"O-oh." Mikado muttered, struggling to make eye contact. "Really?" Guess he hadn't noticed a similar form of identification on her blouse, considering the hostile takeover and all. Still…now that he did. Meeting her eyes again with a shyness he didn't know he was capable of, Mikado felt the heat rise to his cheeks when his blue eyes met a worried, bespectacled gaze. She was really beautiful.

"Are you new?" The mystery girl continued quietly, and amidst the incoming steps of their captors, Mikado nodded his head as subtly as he could. Seriously, his heart was going crazy.

"Y-yeah. I'm supposed to start this semester," He was surprised with how normal his voice sounded, apart from the stutter, but he somehow always managed to sound meek. It was one of his greatest roadblocks. "I just came here recently too." After settling into his crappy apartment a few miles from here. But the cute girl didn't need to know that.

"O-oh. I'm sorry." She seemed to genuinely feel ashamed. "It must be terrible to have had to go through this on your first day…"

No, it wasn't Mikado's idea of a good time. However, he supposed it wasn't all bad if he got the chance to talk to his really gorgeous colleague. She must have been about eighteen? Nineteen? Mikado's throat felt dry. He was a recluse, but he was most certainly not sexually or emotionally inept or anything. At this moment, he'd be a liar if he wasn't thinking, if after this mess, to ask her out for…coffee.

Or something.

That's…what people in college do, right?

A-ask girls out for coffee?

"What's your name?" That was a start. Besides, he really wanted to know. That was a harmless enough question, and a potential conversation starter. "If you don't mind me asking."

"Anri," She smiled timidly, "Anri Sonohara. And yours?"

Mikado liked that name a lot. For some reason he ashamedly felt like a school girl with a crush, but it wasn't a terrible feeling. Now it was his turn, and it was usually the part that got him the most raised eyebrows.

"Mikado Ryūgamine," He replied, bracing himself for the weird looks. Except none came.

"Well it's nice to meet you, Mikado," She said politely, falling back into silence as one of the robbers shot them a look. He was surprised, that's for sure. Usually people compared his name to some mangaka, television star, or something not common place - but he received no such reaction from her. Mikado's lips tilted upwards. It made her even more amazing to him.

T-Though... now was probably not the time to become infatuated.

As if to reemphasize this, there was a soft wail. The people with them, all piled up like sardines were whimpering and sobbing like children, and Mikado broke out of his love induced haze. It was a real mood killer, but what else did he expect? Like it would make a good story to say that he met his potential girlfriend—Mikado was clearly delirious and fantasizing because of trauma, so forgive him—during a robbery and they lived happily ever after. Mikado sighed, then fidgeted. Though he supposed that the somber mood wasn't affecting everyone. Mikado had felt breathing on his neck for quite some time now, and though he chalked it up to someone being just too scared and too close it was starting to become intrusive.

Mikado finally steeled his nerves and turned around when a purposeful breath of air moved against the back of his neck. As he turned around, annoyed, he was surprised to see a boy his age staring back at him with dirty, saffron hair. Completely calm. In fact, Mikado could say he had a slight grin on his face: and he'd been clearly listening to his conversation with Anri the whole time.

In an abrupt, quick movement, the boy scooted in-between him and Anri with a bright, mischievous smile.

Mikado was stunned.

"Couldn't help but notice you two talking," The other's tone was peppy and light. He swung his arm around Mikado like he was a long lost friend, and Mikado cringed. Personal space. He was big on that, but the blonde sure wasn't. "Since we're doing introductions, I thought I'd introduce myself too. Now, now, I'm sure you're all eager!" Not really. "So I'll spare you the guessing games because in this dark time, during this hour of need, I, in good conscience, can't deprive you of such knowledge any longer! Especially when you're accompanied by such a hottie."

Mikado's mouth ran dry.

Did... this person just say that out loud?

That person laughed.

Why yes, yes he did.

"I'll give you one question and three possible answers," Mikado watched him babbke animatedly, holding up three fingers and wiggling them around more than he probably should. At the end of each sentence the boy's voice rose in volume, punctuating for effect. "The question is, what is this mysterious, handsome guy's name? Possible answer one, Kida. Possible answer two, Kida, and possible answer three! Kida!"

"Shut up! D'ya wanna die!?" One of the robbers hissed at them, and Mikado flailed his arms around in a forced gesture of good will, hissing for this person now formally known as Kida to stop.

"You're going to get us in trouble!" Mikado whispered harshly, but Kida ignored him.

"You know, I like where you were going with this, Mi-ka-do, you're really a gutsy guy, I'll give you that."

"Huh?" Mikado rasped. Kida had apparently heard what his name was, and there was something about the way it rolled off his tongue that unnerved Mikado and flustered him simultaneously. To that effect, he'd never met anyone so shameless before. And if he closed his eyes, Mikado would have thought they weren't in the middle of a burglary right now with how the other was whispering—barely, it looked like he was struggling to keep his voice low—with the utmost cheer.

"Thinking of being the hero and saving the damsel in distress from the evil robbers? That's what you were doing, right?" Kida teased, and Mikado blushed. Hard.

"No!" He sputtered, "I mean, yes? No?" Well, if it came down to it he would! Mikado's cries fell on deaf ears. Mr. Sunshine was now on Anri like a desperate, drooling fly to some fruit, and Mikado was certain he'd sprout wings. "Not to fear, sugar tits," Mikado gaped at him. "...this guy over here," the blond spoke, extending his hand towards Mikado, "is going to make sure you're safe and sound."

"That's…that's really not necessary." She responded embarrassed, and oh god Mikado could dig himself a hole right now and die in it. But Kida had no such inclination to do so as he just kept going with no tact. "Not to mention you have me protecting you, and I'm a defender of justice!" Kida wiggled his eyebrows. Really? Mikado thought. Flirting? "Aren't you lucky? "To think you have two, handsome princes to guard your boobilicous self from the frightening villains!"

"This isn't a joke!" Mikado sputtered, but with firm resolve, causing the other boy to pout. What kind of word was boobilicous anyways?!

"Besides…" Mikado's eyes darted to the robbers in blue, who were trying to open the safe but failing each time. "They don't know the code to that safe, and soon they're going to get frustrated…which means we'll all be in danger." He bit his lip, wary as one of the robbers kicked the metal doors to the safe as it once again denied him access.

Kida just whistled.

"Is that so…" Kida pondered out loud, tilting his head. "Why do you sound like you know something they don't?"

"Well, because I can already tell what the code is." Mikado responded quickly, without thinking. Probably not a smart thing to say out loud. "And they'll never figure it out."

"What?" Kida shook his head, chuckling. "That's impossible."

"Not for me."

There was a pregnant pause.

"Oh I see." Kida seemed to come to some sort of conclusion because his face lit all the way up. Kida's fist gently landed on his palm, nodding sagely. "You're one of those mega dorks, right?!"

"M-Mega dorks?"

It felt like Mikado was pierced through the heart with an arrow, but Kida was staring at him in awe, like that was supposed to be a compliment. That was obviously a blatant insult. No matter how much he stretched it.

"I wouldn't say that," Mikado responded with an annoyed expression and Kida laughed, quickly apologizing. His laughed sounded... nice.

"Sorry, sorry. Just, I think that's pretty cool Mikado."

Cool? If it was cool, than why was he considered a dork? Mikado didn't have time to voice his thoughts. Not when suddenly, one of the guys in the masks stormed towards them with their weapon extended, tsking under their breath with a sneer. "Pipe down unless you want to die!" They seethed. Then, in a quick motion, their captor glanced down at Anri, who stared back at him, frightened.

Oh no.

The outline of a smirk made itself apparent under the fabric of the crudely made shark garment and Mikado immediately became defensive.

He knew that body language anywhere.

"Now what do we have here…?" The fellow said snidely.

He grabbed Anri by her nimble arms and pulled her up.

Mikado flinched.

"Wow, you're quite the looker, ain't ya?"

Mikado didn't think. He had no time to. He stood up, eliciting a faint laugh from the man who was gripping Anri's wrists tightly with his hands as his chubby fingers dug into her skin. Not that Mikado planned this kind of retaliation. Sure when he was a kid, Mikado dreamt of doing something slightly heroic. But that always fell within the realms of realism, like saving a cat from a tree. Helping an elderly women make her way across the street was a fine option too. Not getting possibly bludgeoned to death. That was never on his agenda - but if this was how he was going to go, Mikado found he rather die trying than to let Anri get hurt.

Her flesh began to visibly bruise.

"What the fuck do ya think you're doing kid? Sit down," The criminal spat.

"N-no!" Mikado responded bravely. Oh god he was so going to die wasn't he? He balled his hands into fists ready to fight for his life, though it would mostly be for his. That is until a hand squeezed his shoulder from behind. He turned around. Kida was giving him a friendly, lop sided grin before patting his head and saying good job. Whatever that meant. Why was he acting stupid now, at a time like this? Mikado wasn't in the mood for his games.

"I can take it from here," Kida beamed, fearlessly walking up to the vigilante in an easy going, non-threatening motion. What? Him?"Now come on guys, let's not pick on defenseless girls alright? That's kind of lame."

Great, Mikado thought. Now Mikado was going to have to witness Kida getting beat to a bloody pulp.

"Shut up. Sit back down unless you want your brains bashed in!"

"K-Kida, listen to him," Mikado interjected, because even if they were strangers he didn't want him to get hurt.

Kida would do no such thing as Mikado stepped towards him, hoping to deter him. Well, until he got a good look at his face. The teasing expression was gone, and replacing it was uncharacteristic seriousness. Mikado's breath caught in his throat, noticing the silliness had dissipated. And Kida's shoulders were tensed, his feet, locked into an offensive stance. It was kind of scary, Mikado realized, like this. Where the hell did the flirtatious jokster go?

"Let her go," Kida's voice commanded, cold. Auburn eyes narrowed considerably, and the man in front of them snorted.

"Make me shrimp," Came the crude response, and Anri was tossed onto the ground where Mikado scrambled to help her.

The blond tilted his head and frowned at the display.

"Are you okay?" Mikado asked worriedly. Anri nodded; then they both heard it. The hard smack. A loud thud. Mikado whipped his head around to see a body hit the floor; it wasn't Kida's. In the blink of an eye, the delinquent with the weapon was on the ground, blood gushing from his nose from a punch he hadn't been quick enough—was Kida a martial arts expert?—to block. Kida brought his hands back up. The smudges of crimson stained his hands and he wiped them on his black jeans. Chuckling under his breath, Kida sighed loudly, almost dramatically, holding a hand to his chest.

"I told you dude," Kida singsonged, and Mikado gaped as he stepped on the beaten perps face with his foot slowly pressed down. "Picking on defenseless girls is lame."

"You there!" The others were aware of the commotion now. "What the FUCK do you think you're doing? You're dead you little shit!"

That's what Mikado was asking!

Then something more surreal happened.

In a bizarre display of mind numbing peculiarities, the members of this gang, group, whatever, started to attack each other.

"What the...?" Mikado and Anri stared. It started with one randomly beginning to punch the other. Than several more followed, and several more until most of the men clad in blue were knocking the rowdier ones out; and in moments they were tied up. Masks dropped to the floor to be replaced with bright, yellow scarves.

Mikado's mouth was wide open.

What… just happened?

A teller by the bank window fainted. Kida moved towards the new group and Mikado, not knowing what the hell was going on, quickly latched onto him by his pants legs, trying to stop him. This was crazy!

"Stop!" Mikado cried. "It's dangerous."

He'd heard of reckless bravery, but he never met anyone so recklessly stupid.

Kida seemed to find this hilarious though.

"Don't worry. They're cool." He assured. Then he stepped away, greeting the others in yellow like they were his buddies in arms. Mikado frowned. Well that sure was strange. Sure Kida was friendly, but they knew nothing about these people. Why had they been pretending to be thieves? Were they undercover cops? Mikado squinted his eyes. No. They were too young to be cops. So then who...?

Kida turned around with his hands on his hips.

Voice loud and proud in all its cheerful nature, he addressed the people in the bank, who were a little more than disturbed and confused. "Hello everyone! Ladies, gentleman, if I can have your attention please!"

Mikado's face paled as Kida, to his horror, pulled on a yellow scarf.

Oh come on.

"I'd like to apologize for the inconvenience." The yellow hoodlums behind him were chortling. "See," Kida's face was construed into mock disappointment. "These guys beat us to the punch. We made plans to stage a robbery – but what happens? Togusa here totally spilled the beans, let the hen fly the coop, and we were almost swindled! How could you man? I'm so hurt!" Kida whined, throwing his hands around one of his friends, who snickered in awkward embarrassment behind his gold hoodie. Kida roughly rubbed the back of the mans head, his lips pursed.

"So instead of being robbed by them..." The blond motioned towards the moaning men in blue. "You're going to be robbed by us. Sound cool? I'm super excited everyone's on board!"

Mikado's eyes went wide.

Was this seriously happening?

Kida's gazed fixed on him and he felt an impending sense of dread.

"Now that we got this situation under control, there's totally no need to fear! We'll be out of your way as soon as we finish." Kida was smiling, molar to molar. "We're not as reckless as these guys. So if everyone will just stay put and listen to your ipods or something, we'll be out of your lives in no time," He stopped. glancing at Anri. "Unless a select few ladies want me in their life?"

Mikado would roll his eyes if he weren't in so much shock.

The crying started again.

Kida walked towards Mikado with that familiar twinkle and Mikado cursed himself now for letting his tongue slip.

He knew what Kida was going to ask when he stopped in front of him, head cocked.

"As for you buddy ol' pal! Ah, obviously this was fate right?"

Mikado began to inch away.

No way was he going to do it.

Mikado looked back at the other boy nervously.

Forget it.

"That code you were talking about earlier." Kida went on his knees. Bending down to his eye level, his mouth snaked into a sly smirk. "Usually, the only person I'd ever beg to, would be a women with a round ass and large, voluptuous tits! But today? I humbly request your service, Mikado. Despite having none of those features."

The timid boys stomach churned.

When he came to this city for an adventure, he hadn't been looking for this one.

"Mind giving it to me, please?"