Hey, I just read my story again and decided to rewrite it ,

means longer chapters, more plot and I

hope it gets better and love you guys.

She's tired thinking till the sun comes up

Her body aches when she's awake

It kills her mother when she drinks

Too much

She can't stay sober for a day

-Northern Lights-

I was sitting on the stairs next to my little brothers' room and scrolled through my pictures. My best friend and me smiling, laughing, doing crazy stuff. Tears threatened to escape my eyes and I hugged myself tighter. Honestly I was kind of relived that my parents ordered me to babysit my little brother, yesterday I was completely pissed but right now I couldn't think of anything better. If I went on the party I would probably drink myself into death.

I never thought that the day would come my best friend and I wouldn't be friends anymore but she changed. First it was cheating on her boyfriend and then drugs and partying all night. I always was on her side and tried to help her but she just made me sick and in the end I wasn't enough.

Maybe it was my fault I mean I called her a stupid hoe, but she told me that she had slept with the boy I had a crush on since two years (and who had finally kissed and asked me out.) I turned my music up and starred at the white wall. I couldn't get depressed again, I couldn't do that to my family. Not again.

It was kind of ironic that my little brother wanted to watch Peter Pan this evening. Okay if you ask me the movie is crappy, don't get me wrong but hello!? A redhead in green thighs how had never in his whole immortal life kissed a girl… And on top of that he lived on an island full of boys? Totally gay, not that I had anything against gays, my best friend and his boyfriend where the cutest couple I knew, but why couldn't they bring that into the storyline.

It would have been the cutest, coolest and funniest movie if he had a crush on Slightly or even Hook. Or if when he kissed Wendy, he realized that he didn't wanted to be with a girl. Slightly and Pan my absolute dream team.

But one thing I could understand and personally relate to. Never growing up or at least not yet, I wasn't ready to be an adult and have responsibilities. I was jealous, I would give everything to be in his place and have time. He didn't have to go to school and write fucking exams or bother around with mean girls who used to be your best friend.

I jokingly whispered up to the ceiling. "You hear that Pan, I would give everything to go away from here, I'm lost." I began to sob. "I am fucking lost." I leaned my head on my knees and closed my eyes. "Please take me away." Of course nothing happened I giggled an exhausted and tired giggle. I was hilarious begging a cartoon character to take me to an imaginary world.

I was just so fucking tired and felt so lonely. Maybe I should try again. The thought scarred me and I looked absently on the scars on my wrists. No I would get through this, I was stronger now. Well on the positive side I could wear descend cloth and not some ugly green thighs.

I turned the music down as I heard something in my brothers' room. "Sam?" I called and stood up. I heard the sound of a window opening and went inside, Sam sometimes looked out the window till he fall asleep but I didn't want to take the risk of him falling out. "You should be in bed by now, Sam." I turned to the window and screamed. Screaming is a very natural reaction to seeing a shadow in your brothers' room. Literally a shadow with red glowing eyes, it had its hand outstretched to my brother who looked at it with big eyes.

He was only six and didn't know about what a shadow could do to him, well I didn't know either and I was ten years older but still. I pushed myself in front of my brother and pushed him to the door. "Run, let the neighbors call the police." I whispered. "What... What do you want?" My voice was shaking. Please don't kill me I thought. My brother still hadn't moved, instead he had my hand in a death grip and was whimpering.

The shadow didn't move or do anything it just looked at me with its red eyes. I was scared, and when I'm scared my brain only knows one option run. I turned and gripped my brother and ran, or I tried. A sleepy six year old shouldn't be so heavy I thought to myself groaning.

As I felt something icy touch my shoulder and hold me back I stopped, too scared to turn around my heart pounding wildly in my ears. I pulled in a shaky breath and turned around. "It's okay if you kill me, but please don't hurt him." The shadow pulled back a little bit and stared at me through its eyes. His head shook slightly, and it looked like it was grinning.

No, no fucking no, no one was allowed to hurt him. In a desperate move I tried to kick it, but it only went through the thing. "Please." I whispered, but I only felt something blowing in my face. I felt my arms weaken and the shadow taking my brother from me. "No, please." I wanted to stay awake, to fight. But my eyelids grew heavier by the moment till I just gave in and let the darkness close in around me.

I woke up on the floor, and ran into my brothers' room, please let it all just be a dream. The window was wide open and let the cold night air come in. I turned around and screamed after my brother, there was no answer. "Sam" I gripped onto his bed. "I'll get you back I promise."