The times when she could make him listen by going on cooking strike, were long gone. So she resorted to other methods.
Disclaimer: Don't own it.
"I do not appreciate this."
Sixteen year-old Tsuna looked up from the mafia reports he was reading at his study desk. Recently he'd taken to wearing reading glasses that he didn't actually need, but seemed to have a placebo effect on his intelligence. That or the Vongola Intuition was getting better.
"Kyoko," he greeted her with a slight smile, removing his glasses. He didn't acknowledge her statement, and she wasn't about to let him off.
"I do not appreciate this," she repeated, hissing. "A maid? Really?"
"My mom was kidding about what she said when she first started taking extended vacations with Dad in Italy; you don't actually have to cook me dinner every night," Tsuna explained in his Tone of Reason, usually reserved only for Lambo.
"Are you that mad? She comes in while we're at school, leaves dinner in the fridge and leaves before we get home. I don't even get to see the advertised sexy maid outfit," Tsuna laughed, but coughed slightly to cover his chuckles at the glare that Kyoko sent him.
Tsuna sighed and turned fully from his desk towards his girlfriend at the door. "Look, I just didn't want you to have to cook every night just because of a silly joke my mom tossed over her shoulder on her way to the airport. Come on. I'm sorry I did it without telling you. C'mere, Kyoko, I'm sorry." He extended his hand towards her, like a pet-owner might when trying to coax a recalcitrant puppy.
After a weighty silence, Tsuna retracted his hand with an exasperated sigh and turned back to his desk, rubbing the bridge of his nose where the unnecessary glasses had left marks.
"You went behind my back and now you're lying about it." Kyoko folded her arms but finally entered the room, her tone still harsh.
"That's ridiculous. I don't know what you're thinking, but – " Tsuna stood, turning to face her with hands half-raised in surrender, to find Kyoko in front of him, jabbing her finger in his shoulder.
"Do you want to know what I think, then?" she challenged.
"… of course I do, Kyoko," Tsuna said levelly, sitting down again.
Now there was the gaze of a mafia boss, Kyoko thought bitterly. He was her Tsu-kun, and when she looked in his eyes she could tell that he knew what she was thinking, that he didn't want to know, that he didn't want to hear her say it. But only because she was his. For how much longer, she wasn't sure.
"But I also want you to be rational about this," Tsuna continued. "I know things have been a little stressful after Ryohei broke his arms in the last tournament but – "
Kyoko raised her voice to a not-quite yell and cut him off again. "I think that you just lied again. I think that you know perfectly well that Onii-chan didn't break his arms in a sumo wrestling tournament and that you know that I know."
Tsuna pursed his lips but said nothing. Kyoko let out a cry of exasperation in turn and started pacing the room. After a pause, she started again.
"I think that you didn't hire a maid for my sake like you'd like me and Nana-san to believe, or to live out a maid fantasy like you'd like the rest of the boys to believe, but to keep me out of the kitchen. And I think you did that for the same reason you've been doing a lot of things lately."
Tsuna raised an eyebrow but didn't show any other outward signs of distress. "Go on," he said unwillingly.
"I think I'm not taking I-Pin and Lambo to and from school lately because her Japanese is shaky after coming back from China after years. I think that Chrome suddenly asking to stay at my place is a stupid excuse to guard me because she's stayed with Ken and Chikusa for years."
"Why do you think I'd be asking people to guard you, Kyoko? Nothing's wrong. I have no reason to – " Tsuna tried to break in, but she wouldn't let him.
"I think that Yamamoto getting hurt from 'tripping' and 'falling down stairs' is a bad story for even Yamamoto and that Gokudera isn't just looking for a place to smoke safely from teachers when he's clearly keeping look-out on the school roof." Kyoko's voice rose steadily until she was yelling. "I think that the Vongola are in trouble again and you're not letting me in the kitchen because I refused to cook the last time you wouldn't tell me what was going on!"
The glasses had somehow appeared back on Tsuna's face, probably when Kyoko's back was turned as she paced. After her sudden exclamation, she could do nothing but breathe heavily, waiting for her boyfriend to react somehow. But he simply sat for a while, his hands forming a steeple, his glasses reflecting her tired expression.
"Let's make some tea," he said finally. "I think the maid left some cakes."
"I don't want to eat her food. Are we going to talk?" Kyoko asked wearily.
"They're store-bought," he responded, taking her arm and leading her down the stairs. "And we will talk."
…
Seated at the kitchen table with a cup of warm tea in her hands Kyoko couldn't help but feel less angry.
"I didn't mean for you to be excluded," Tsuna apologized, placing a piece of Kyoko's favorite cake in front of her.
"You mean you didn't mean for me to feel excluded," Kyoko sniffed, pushing away the cake. "Especially when that's exactly what I am."
When he didn't deny it, she tugged at his arm, pleadingly. "Tsuna, please tell me what's going on. If it's problems in the mafia again, I need to know. I know you don't think I'll be able to do anything, but let me try."
"It's not what you think." He tugged away his arm and took off his glasses to wipe the condensation from the lens. "Damn thing fogs up every time I try to drink some tea," he muttered under his breath.
Kyoko snapped. She snatched the glasses from him and pounded her other fist on the table, shaking it. The lenses clutched in her other hand cracked. In a low voice she hissed, "I think that those glasses are – "
But Tsuna had snapped too. "Just another layer of distance I'm putting between us?" he roared. "A wall which I can keep secrets from you behind? Christ, Kyoko, don't you trust me?"
"Why don't you trust me?" she screamed back, just as fierce. "If you really loved me, you would tell me what's happening!"
"I do love you!" Tsuna yelled, running a hand through his unruly hair in frustration. "So I'm trying to protect you!"
"Protect me? I've had enough of you and Onii-chan and everyone trying to protect me! Let me protect myself!"
"You couldn't," he said dismissively.
"Then let me learn how to! Tsuna, you won't even let me do that!" Kyoko stomped her foot, hating herself for the helpless, girly act even while doing it. "This is all just because I'm a girl, isn't it? Just because I'm a girl I can't do anything, is that it? This is all just you being a sexist pig!"
"YES, I'm being a sexist pig!" Tsuna exploded. "I'm a chauvinistic asshole who doesn't give a fuck about women's right when they apply to the most important girl in the world to me and I don't care what kind of crap she'll give me about it, as long as she's safe!"
Stunned at the response from her usually conceding, calm boyfriend, Kyoko was silent.
"Well? What are you going to do about it?" Tsuna pressed further.
She slapped him. It was a hard slap, right across the cheek, and left a bright red mark.
Then she burst into tears and threw herself into his shocked arms.
…
Later that night, the young couple lay spooning on the living room sofa, a cheesy romance flick playing in the background and two TV dinners warming up in the microwave.
"Tsu-kun," Kyoko said, affectionately using the nickname. "I don't think this relationship is working."
Tsuna let out a distressed noise, but Kyoko hushed him by snuggling closer. "I'm serious. At least that's the way it'll be if you keep this up. If you don't let me in, we're going to break."
"But – " Tsuna's eyes darkened. He struggled to find words to appropriate describe his feelings without stepping on any gender inequality landmines. "The mafia world is a dark place. Forget being a part of it, I don't want you anywhere near the mafia."
"If you don't stop this idiocy," Kyoko chastised gently. "We won't work. We'll just keep fighting more and more until we hate each other. I'd leave you."
"… You might hate me," Tsuna said finally. "But I'd never hate you. I'll always…" Tsuna trailed off shyly.
"I know," Kyoko giggled. "I'm the one lying now. I would never leave you."
Tsuna's sigh of relief was cut off by more giggles. "I would just ask Reborn-kun to train me as an assassin and become part of the mafia on my own," Kyoko continued to giggle while Tsuna blanched. "So you'll listen to me and start opening up, won't you?"
"We'll figure something out," he promised hesitantly.
"I'll trust you on that," Kyoko agreed after some slight consideration. "But don't think that means I'll forget."
"Yes dear," Tsuna said meekly.
"…"
"…?"
"… and fire the maid."
Smile. "Yes dear."
Author's Note:
Beta: Wait, so what were the titular "other methods"…?
Author: Uh, yelling, bitch-slapping, and crying?
Beta: …