Note:

I must confess I got inspired by a series of Fan-fics and by helping with my bro's 'Mount Hogwarts'. I thought this story would work on multiple perspectives but only one worked for me and it is entirely through Lord Hermes. I am not an expert in the Humor genre but I gave it my best shot. Hope you like it!

NOTCH IT UP FAST

"Rise and shine, Hermes!" hissed Martha into his ear as the golden morning light poured into his flat in the Empire State Building. Hermes moaned and rolled over,hugging his pillow.

"Look here,I know it was a hard day yesterday, but you can't take a day off. It is the Olympian Gods delivery day! Come on, let me see you up like a good boy," she wiggled closer and tickled his ear. Hermes grinned and sat up.

"You always get away with this. I try it and Hermes fries me alive,"

"You bite my ear George," Hermes snapped.

"That was only once okay, I got a bit carried away, your ear smelt a lot like a rat," a rumbling sound issued from his stomach. Hermes started.

"Hey,oh my gosh, I totally forgot to give you dinner yesterday!"

"Realized it huh?"

"Be quiet George."

"All right, don't start it again, you lectured me all night!"

"But you still don't seem to understand,"

"Understand what? My poor tummy can exist without food?"

"Both of you shut up while I go get some food. Simultaneously," he added, as Martha hissed in protest.

"Um, Hermes,isn't it supposed to be syn chronous ly?"

"DON'T USE THAT WORD GEORGE! DO YOU WANT HIM TO TURN YOU INTO HIS FOOD?" Both the snakes shivered and hissed in fear.

Hermes sighed, drew his Caduceus closer and stroked his trembling pets. "It's okay, it's okay I'm sorry I scared you!" He hugged them as they stopped shuddering violently.

"I'm totally stressed out! I've never yelled at you two. I want a break! Seriously. I'm tired of running around playing the mail-boy. For Zeus's sake, I'm also God of Commerce, of Communication, of Travellers, of Good Luck..."

"He forgot God of male models," whispered George.

"Why models?"

"He always poses naked for his sculptors."

"I did not!" snapped Hermes,flushed.

"I notice the absence of 'do not'. Any female sculptors in mind?"

"Yeah,he couldn't take his eyes off that Athena girl in Camp."

"Who, Atlanta Johnson?"

"She looked sooo cute! And Hermes always had an eye on red-heads," Martha chanced a glance at Hermes. He looked like a steaming volcano about to erupt.

"Right, Hermes, shall I ask Iris to do your work today?"she said timidly.

"What?" he asked, halfway into the bathroom. "Oh no, don't tax her, she already has a full plate."

"Hermes, oh dear, you haven't even spared Iris the coy glance! Ah, you naughty boy, she'll suit you."

"George,it is possible to feel sympathetic for another person without falling in love with them!"

"But when has our Hermes ever done that?"

"That's not fair! Remember Io and Europa and Persephone?"

"But Iris is a pretty-looking girl isn't she? And she's a red-head to boot!"

"She's always running around,George."

"Exactly! God and Goddess of Long-distance relationship!"

"Hermes, I told you not to watch 'Going the distance' with this fool," Martha snapped loudly.

"But how do you think I could take you along?" he replied, yelling from the bathroom.

"Aww, how romantic, Hermes flying the skies with Iris in his arms,"

"When have you bothered to become romantic?"

"Why not?"

"Hey,wait a minute,is it because Iris gives you a lot of rats?"

"Rats, rats, rats, the eternal cosmos eventually returns to rats,"

"You're hopeless!"

"I'm hungry!"

Hermes emerged loaded with perfume and grinning from the bathroom.

"I love showers. They accentuate my intellect."

"So, mister Romeo,any plans today?"

"Hmm, let me see," he mused, attacking his curly black hair before the mirror while his eyes twinkled.

"Did I tell you that I'm God of Slyness?"

"A million times. And God of Gymnastics."

"That's right. And today, I'm going to put all my other sadly ignored skills to use," His bright blue eyes brimmed with mischief as he rubbed his hands together.

"Hermes, I soo don't like that look in your eyes,"

"Oh don't worry Martha, I'm just going to have a well earned holiday."

"How? Athena will go mad if you don't deliver those books. And you know what Demeter will do if the plants aren't delivered in time."

"But sometimes Gods get so interested in one thing that they forget everything else,"

"When? During war?" said Martha sarcastically.

"Or during your marriage."

"My marriage? George, how could you do this to me? I vowed tobe a bachelor!"

"You speak as though you've vowed to be a virgin!"

"I know! You only took that oath to attract more girls,"

"For that additional charm to seduce Aphrodite,"

"Aphrodite! Pah! I took that oath because being single makes you more strong. And not to annoy any poor girl with specimens like you. The thing is, Gods did drop everything

they did once last year, remember?"

"Ah yes,the Zeus-Poseidon tiff. But that was only half a day."

"They got together real fast for my liking."

"George,that wasn't a movie to like!"

"But what if we get a couple that will fight all day?"

"A couple? If you're thinking of Ares and Aphrodite you better forget it. They've been sending sleazy tweets through me all day!"

"For once Martha, I feel sorry for you."

"No," Hermes said slyly. "This couple's much more interesting, and I always get away with this fellow. See you then," he waved cheerily and ran to the elevator.

"Hermes, don't forget the rats!".