This was my guilty pleasure. Going to these warp tours, seeing the bands that play even if some of them I didn't even know. The song that was playing was quiet, soft, but only at first. But it was a sad song, about losing everything and I couldn't help but relate to it as I thought of my old associate.
I hadn't seen him in two years. He had moved so that when I came to terms with myself and realized just how I felt about him, there was no one on the other side of that door. For the first time in his life, Harvey Specter didn't get what he wanted. And what he wanted was Mike Ross.
He pushed through the crowd, wearing black jeans and a plain white t-shirt. I needed to get closer to the stage, to see who was playing the song that brought back all the pain in his life. But when he got close, a slight gap between him and the fence, he froze, staring at the back of Mike's head. He wasn't fist pumping or partying like the rest of the crowd, just leaning against the gate, his hoodie on despite the warm weather. When he moved to the side, he saw his lips moving with the singer's, a tear trail on his cheek and Harvey broke.
"Mike." Truthfully, he had no idea how he had heard him, but he did. His shoulders completely tensed and he looked like he was ready to bolt. I couldn't let him get away again! Lunging forward, he wrapped his arms around him, trapping him to his chest and burying his head in his neck. "Don't run away from me again, please."
"Harvey, what are you doing here?" He said quietly as the song ended. "You do realize how out of place you look at a Black Veil Brides concert?"
"Yeah, but I like the music. Guilty pleasure. What are you doing here?" I asked, not releasing him. He was still really tense and when I whispered some of the lyrics in his ear he finally relaxed.
"I like the music. Been a fan since…" He trailed off and I looked down at where his hoodie had slipped up past his wrist. Fury, unbridled fury, raised through my veins as I ripped up the sleeve.
"You're coming back to my place, now." I growled. He finally turned to look at me and the familiar, fun filled eyes I had come to love were hard, cold and unforgiving.
"Why the hell would I go with the very man who fired me and never, in two years, bothered to see me?" He growled.
"Hey, this goes out to the two guys who look like their having a little trouble. We've all been in a situation like you, so I hope it helps." Andy said, smiling as the first notes played. Harvey never realized how much he ruined Mike's life.
"Listen to the lyrics…." I trailed off, reaching for him and praying he wouldn't flinch away from me. He turned away, reckognizing the song.
"Shut up, Harvey. Two years. I don't want to hear it." He said, shaking his head.
"Puppy." I whispered, wrapping my arms around him again. He shuddered, and for a moment, his hand gripped mine. But then he let it go and pushed me away.
"Leave, Harvey." He said, almost too quiet to hear.
"Booked our flight those years ago, I said I loved you as I left you. Regrets still haunt my hollow head. But I promise you I will see you again." I sang in his ear, kissing his cheek. "Should have said that two years ago, but when I tried, you had moved and weren't answering your phone."
Mike stiffened, but said nothing, and I sighed, slowly releasing him and walking away. I didn't want to hear the rest of the song, it only made me feel horrible.
"Hello?" Donna answered on the third ring. I was in my car, ray driving me back to my penthouse. I hated feeling so weak and vulnerable, but I couldn't hold inside anymore. Seeing him, the cuts on his wrists, my puppy was dying slowly by his own hand. And it was all my fault.
"Hey, Donna." I said, smiling just a little.
"Alright, I know for a fact that that warped tour thing is not done till…. Late, so why are you calling me? Get lonely because all the little groupies think you're someones parent?" She teased. It makes me laugh, but my laugh falls short and I hear her intake of breath. "What's wrong?"
"I ran in to Mike." I whispered, hating how my voice cracked.
"Oh my god." She said. "Did you talk to him?"
"He shoved me away. After I told him to come back with me so I could take care of him." A sob ripped through my throat and I think Ray jumped out of his skin. "He's cutting, Donna. We're gonna lose our puppy and it's all my fault."
"Oh Harvey, it's not your fault." She whispered.
"Yes it is. I fired him, I didn't listen to him. And when I finally realized, he was already gone." I said, shuddering. We arrived at the condo sooner than I thought and I nodded at Ray who gave me a sympathetic smile.
"Harvey, listen…"
"I gotta go Donna, I'm getting on the elevator." I said, making excused and hanging up on her.
In the sanctuary of my home, I poured myself a strong drink, just standing at the kitchen island. I hated myself for this. I knew he would never forgive me for my ignorance, and I would never forgive myself.
Half an hour later, there was a pounding on the door and I wiped my eyes, going to open it.
"Donna, I'm fine, stop calling, alright?" I yelled, opening it to reveal mike. I stared, my eyes wide and unable to breath.
"I want you to know exactly what you made happen." He said quietly. I nodded, moving aside and letting him walk in hesitantly.
"You still remember where I live?" I asked, furrowing my brows.
"No, I called Donna after I got lost." He admitted, frowning. "Shut up, Harvey."
"Mike, please-." I was cut off by him undoing his hoodie and shedding it on the floor. He stood before me, shirtless with skinny jeans, and scars marring his chest and arms. Fresh cuts, and barely healing cuts, stood out the most and I choked, taking a stumbling step forward. He stepped back and felt like I had been stabbed a million times.
"I don't want you to touch me, Harvey." He whispered. "I just came to show you."
"Mike, please!" I yelled, making him flinch. "Let me take care of you!"
"That requires me trusting you Harvey!" he yelled back. I knew I had lost him for good, but I stepped forward anyways, gently running a finger along his scar. He shivered and his hand came up, catching mine.
"Don't push me away again." I whispered, pulling him closer.
"I don't want you to touch me, Harvey." He repeated with less conviction as his hand was holding on to mine for dear life.
"Let me take care of you?" I pleaded. Staring in to those broken blue eyes, I finally leaned forward, barely brushing my lips against his, begging for permission.
"Harvey, did you really try to find me?" he whispered, his eyes flickering.
"I never stopped, Donna has been trying relentless to find your new number while I tried to find out where you moved." I laughed suddenly. "Though I'm glad you're out of that god awful apartment building."
"Harvey." He said, gripping my hand so tight I wouldn't be surprised if it broke. "Shut up and kiss me, or I'll walk out that door."
I wasted no time scooping him in to my arms and pressing my lips to his. He moaned, pulling me closer even though I didn't want to hurt him.
"I missed you so much, puppy." Mike pouted slightly and glared.
"Stop calling me puppy." He ordered, but that gleam was back in his eyes.
"Let me dress your wounds, where are you living?" I asked, pulling him with me down the hall.
"Um, crashing at friend's, you know. Harold. Trevor."
"I thought I told you never to go near Trevor again." I growled. Mike rolled his eyes, sitting down on the toilet lid while I gathered supplies.
"Harvey, you weren't my boss anymore. I didn't think it mattered." He muttered, running a hand through his hair.
"Well, you won't be seeing him again because you're staying with me." I said. He protested, grabbing my wrists as I came over with a bottle of rubbing alcohol and a towel.
"Why am I staying with you?" He asked, eyeing the bottle warily.
"So that I can make sure you don't cut again. That and I'm giving you your job back and tonight I plan to make you never want to leave again." I said, I smirked as he flushed and let go of me.
"Get it over with." He whispered, closing his eyes.
"Hey." I said softly. "Hold my hip, anything. You can do anything to help, alright?"
"Anything?" He asked, eyes sparkling mischieviously.
"Anything." I said, kissing forehead. "Ready?"
"Ready." He grumbled. I straddled him suddenly, pouring some of the disinfectant down his chest. He screamed out, gripping on to me and digging his nails in. I hate to admit it, but I groaned, pushing against him.
"Shh, I got you Mike. I won't let you go again." I whispered, kissing along his face as he panted, tears running down against my lips.
It continued like this until I finally had him wrapped up. I had bruises in my hips, but it was nothing compared to the pain I had put him through.
"Can I lay down?" He asked breathlessly, his forehead on my shoulder.
"Of course, come on." I said, helping him up and helping him in to my room. Once I had him lying down, I leaned down and kissed him gently.
"Don't leave me." He whispered, holding on to me.
"Never again." I said, kissing him again and crawling in to the bed. He turned, cuddling against me and I sighed. This is all I've wanted for two years, and now he was finally mine.
"We booked our flight those years ago. I said I loved you as I left you. Regrets still haunt my hollow head, but I promised you that I will see you again." He whispered softly, kissing my throat. I held him as tightly as I dared and thanked whatever it was out there for The Mortician's Daughter…
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