Sometimes she wakes up with her heart beating fast, a scream at the tip of her tongue she doesn't allow to escape.
It's not like Rebekah's life is all bad, mind you. There are some very good moments, few, but that she remembered with detail.
It's just that sometimes she still closes her eyes and sees Henrik's face. (And she wonders if it's normal to be mourning for her little brother for a thousand years now, knowing she'll mourn him for eternity. Because when he died, she is sure a part of her died as well.)
It's just that she has had so many lovers during the centuries she doesn't even remember all of their faces or all of their names. (They all ended up dead, and that was the important part.)
It's just that sometimes she remembers her father's screams, and her mother's smile that hide how she wanted to kill her family and it hurts. It's just that sometimes she remembers Niklaus' and Elijah's fingers being intertwined with hers and she misses them so much it's a physical pain. She swears her heart is aching when she remembers their faces, when their names appear in her mind (Sometimes she does wish she could forget them, but the memory of them is one she'll never lose.)
It's just that sometimes she wants to call Kol and- Oh. Right. He's dead (And the reason why Elena and Jeremy Gilbert are still alive escapes her completely). It's just that sometimes she remembers Finn carrying her when she was a child and then she remembers that oh, yes, he tried to kill them all.
Sometimes she stares to a city from a balcony (Whichever city she fancies being now, New York, Prague, Rome, it matters not.) and she remembers visiting it with her brothers while they were on the run.
Sometimes the only thought that comes to her mind is 'I want my brothers.' and more than once she almost called them. More than once she wanted to say 'screw you' to her freedom and be with them again.
Almost.
[ Or in which I wrote a Rebekah centric fanfic set during the time between 1x16 and 1x22, The Originals, during the while Rebekah was travelling alone and I'm still not sure if I like it so much or not. ]