A/N: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, oh how I envy her genius.
Welcome to the Land of Make Believe
I stretched again on the air mattress. I should be exhausted but I was still too keyed up to sleep. Today was beyond belief. Two days home and the entire course of my life had altered. Panic started to set in, today could not be real. These things just didn't happen.
I had gone out to walk along the beach to immerse myself in the nostalgia. First Beach in the early a.m. was the best time to enjoy the beach during the summer tourist season. I smiled a tiny triumphant smile when I realized I had it all to myself. It wouldn't last long but as I approached the water's edge in the still murky light of dawn I was determined to enjoy it. I picked up a stone and tossed it into the water, attempting to skip it and failing miserably. I smiled at myself and kept walking. I hummed a little to myself, and feeling the joy of solitude I began to sing aloud as well. My singing voice, not even lovely to my ears, was usually restricted to my car but something about the sound of the waves, the tang of salt in the air and early morning light just filled me with the joy of being home.
My wobbly voice which had grown louder was immediately cut off when I spotted another soul on the rocky outcrop that marked the end of beach. I was not close enough to make out his features but I was sure his eyes were boring straight into mine. I considered turning around, but this was my beach and I was going to enjoy my stroll. My song gone for the moment, I pushed on closer to the end of the beach and the stranger on the rocks. Stranger? Not likely. There aren't that many people on the rez and if I didn't know him, I knew his people. I chanced another direct look as I drew closer and found him staring blatantly at me. I focused my gaze to meet his eyes and I was trapped.
My feet stopped but I was hardly aware of this. Was there a cliché out there that did not fit this moment? Even at this distance, I was drowning in his gaze; the deep pools of his dark brown eyes engulfed me. The rest of the world ceased to exist, and I saw forever in his eyes. Time became immeasurable as I stood there, as his eyes tightened their grip on my soul. Gracefully descending from the rocks, he glanced away and I was able to return to my consciousness. I felt a sudden panic, my world had just shifted and I didn't know if I wanted that. I had mapped out my life, Rachel Black had goals that were screaming to get my attention, telling me to run back to the familiar, but I couldn't move. I waited as he quickly closed the distance between us.
"Rachel Black?" He sounded the tiniest bit uncertain, which was fair. When you have a twin you become accustomed to everyone being just the tiniest bit uncertain. "Yes" I confirmed with a nod. "Paul. Paul Rivers isn't it?" Paul had been a freshman when I was a senior at the school on the rez. "You certainly sprouted up." I tried banal conversation to lighten the heavy atmosphere. The comment prompted me to really look at him. He had to be 6' 3". He stood there a comfortable 6 feet away allowing me to take a sweeping head to toe look. Short, cropped black hair evidencing a tendency to wave topped the most beautiful male face I had ever seen. My fingers actually twitched with a desire to trace the perfect slope of his forehead, the perfect arch of his eyebrows, the straight line of his nose and the enticing bow of his lips. His lips, so full and smooth, - I felt my need to kiss him grow inside me. Kiss him? Really? I obviously don't know this person, even if I knew Paul growing up; he'd obviously changed in the years since I left for school. I tried to shake my mind away, but my eyes moved down to devour his body. He wore just a pair of denim shorts. I gasped audibly drinking in his broad chest and superbly toned muscles. The sound snapped me out of it. I was mortified to realize my mouth was actually open.
I thrust my hand forward to try to recover some social grace. "Paul it really has been years. How's your family? How is your sister?" His hand reached forward to take mine as he stepped even closer to complete the ritual politeness of a handshake. His hand captured mine, swallowing it but he kept coming closer and I didn't even try to block the one armed handshake hug. I moved closer to his warm body eager to press against him. One part of me was appalled that I wanted to cop a feel with my chest. Had I not spent high school and part of college avoiding this transparent tactic?
His arm enclosed me pulling me into his incredible warmth so welcome in the cool breeze. His skin was smooth and his muscles hard beneath the hand I swept unnecessarily down his back. I could not prevent a sigh from escaping. Before I could pull away in mortification I heard an answering "mmm".
Reality departed. My behavior was out of character but I was powerless to prevent it. It was like I was watching me wondering what would happen next.
I was attempting an awkward acquaintance greeting one moment and the next I was wrapped securely in both of his arms, my head pressed against his chest and my arms firmly holding on to him. It was utterly insane; I felt dizzy, and overwhelmed and undeniably aroused. Paul just held on to me rocking us gently. I cannot tell you how long we stood there pressed against each other. There was so much of him that I felt my body was surrounded by him, but so much more than just my body.
"Rachel, my Rachel, you're my every dream come true." His voice finally penetrated my haze of unrealistic bliss. "Rachel, my Rachel" He repeated and suddenly the practical side of my nature snapped back in place. Did he just refer to me as his? We hardly knew each other. I had not seen him in at least 3 years and I only knew him the sense of knowing everyone at a small school.
I pulled back from his embrace, almost leaping two steps back. I wanted to ask him, "What are you talking about?" But I was so afraid of the answer that I said "Well it was nice to see you again Paul." instead. He looked stunned by my reaction and a bit hurt too. I wanted to flat out run away from what happened, but seeing his face like that made me want to comfort him. I put one hand out and splayed my fingers on his arm. "Paul, I'm sure I will see you around. I will be here for a few weeks".
I turned to walk away and I felt a sudden sense of loss. I shook my head trying to come back to normalcy. I saw an old acquaintance on the beach and we shared a hug. That's all. Yeah, keep telling yourself that, Rachel. I saw the most gorgeous guy I had ever seen in my life and he couldn't keep his eyes off me and I couldn't keep my hands off him. That was closer to the truth. I wrapped my arms tightly around myself. I swear I was trying to get a grip on me. It had nothing to do with already missing his warmth, though that was a small fraction of his intensity. I couldn't resist the urge to look back, and there he was still standing where I left him and clearly watching my departure. I stopped in my tracks locked in his gaze, again. Paul needed no further invitation he loped quickly, too quickly but I put that down to the haze I couldn't escaped in his presence.
He stood a careful distance from me while hesitantly asking his question. "Rachel, can I walk you back to your house?"
"Sure, that would be nice." I cringed at the false brightness in my voice. We turned away from the beach. We walked in silence for a bit. The atmosphere was charged and again I felt compelled by some force to go with awkward. "So Paul, what's been going on with you in these last three years? Did you graduate this year?"
Paul laughed and I melted that much more. Trying to remind him of our age difference was not going to work for him or me either. "Rachel you would not believe how much has gone on in this sleepy backwater. I will tell you all about it if you like." I looked up just in time to see the smile he flashed me. It wiped my mental slate clean. When he answered my second question, just for a moment I didn't know what he was talking about. "Yes, I marched back in May." I racked my brain. Oh yeah high school graduation, I did ask. "Um, so are you going to off to college?" I have never been brilliant at small talk but I wanted to hear his voice so I kept going.
"Nah, Rachel, I'm not going off to college anytime soon. I will help my Dad with his painting business for a while." He sounded resigned to his immediate fate.
"Did you want to go to school?" I knew I wanted to escape La Push and memories of my mom and growing up here in general.
"School is not going to be practical for me for a while." Cryptic. I shrugged slightly deciding I wouldn't push it. Paul misread the motion and said," Cold?" His arm reached around me pulling me into his huge warm body. I didn't have the will to resist. I melted into him, but this time I caught the sigh before it escaped my mouth.
"You're nice and toasty..." His arm tucking me into his side didn't seem right until I snaked my arm around his waist bringing us just a bit closer. He towered above me but it felt so right, we fit.
"When you aren't helping your dad out what do you do?" For once I was authentic in my desire to know more about him.
"I hang out with my friends and patrol with the pack." I replied,"Hmm" absentmindedly, seduced by the baritone and slowly registering his words. "Patrol with the pack?" Even that came out without the degree of alarm the statement warranted.
"Yeah, Rachel there are things you don't know, well you kinda know but don't really know." He paused, slowing his steps with his uncertain stream of words. "I will tell you everything but, man; I don't know how to start. I mean you heard the same stories I heard when I was a kid.
He brought us to a standstill and shifted me in his embrace to bring me in front of him. My resistance to the manhandling was non-existent. Paul's every touch just felt right.
"Rachel, look at me." His tone was serious, his request unnecessary. I looked up to meet his eyes and there it was again. I was lost. No man had ever looked at me like that. I had seen tenderness, lust, interest but never anything like this. His look was pure, full of love and wonder. He looked awed to be in the presence of me, Rachel Black. There was a part of me still hanging back observing that was amazed at my ego.
He reached forward and cupped my face with his large very warm hand. Instinctively I turned my face deeper into his palm. His thumb stroked my face. "Rachel, look at all of me." There was something he wanted me to see and I knew I had to shake free of the haze to see it. I closed my eyes momentarily to clear my head and took a couple of steps back. I could not think straight with him touching me.
Paul was still there before me. I thought he was about 6'3" but I was certain now that I was wrong, he was taller than that. His exposed shoulders were broad and he was very well muscled. It was a bit early in the day to be out shirtless but it did look ever so nice on him. I could stare at him forever but there was nothing unusual about him to me.
"Paul, what is it you want me to see?" I was perplexed.
"Have you noticed how big the Quileute boys are now compared to say just three years ago, when you left for college?"
"Jacob's friends are freaking huge but I haven't really noticed all the boys in La Push. What's your point?" I don't like guessing conversations. If a person has something to say to me, I prefer they just say it and get it over with.
"Rachel, have you noticed how unnaturally warm I am?"
"You are warm but I am always cold, so what." My ire was coming out and seeping into my voice. "Paul, what is it you want me see? Just say it."
He flinched at my words like I had struck him. "I have to tell you something and I just don't want to freak you out. It could wait I suppose but I don't want to be unfair to you"
I saw him distressed and everything in me wanted to soothe him and just make whatever his problem was go away. My goodness I didn't even know him and his happiness was suddenly the most important thing to me. I would do anything to make him happy. The realization finally hit physically, making me stagger further back.
I had fallen in love. Not in the mature way I had always imagined for me, no I had to fall in love in the unreal, impossible way. I had fallen in love the moment I looked into his eyes on the beach. I felt the knowledge deep to my bones and resonating through my chest, immutable truth.
I am not sure what kind of picture I presented to him. He had grabbed my arm swiftly when I staggered and I was once again anchored in his embrace. "Rachel, are you okay?" The concern in his voice made me unthinkingly rush to reassure him. "I am fine, truly. I just realized I had fallen in love with you and it took me by surprise." I heard myself say the words that had skipped the processing unit of my brain. I couldn't believe I just said that. I threw my hands up to cover my face, mortified.
My feet left the ground. His arms wrapped around my body lifting me above his head. I heard his pure yell of joy as he swung me around in a circle. I looked down at him from where he had pinned me to his chest. His beautiful face was beaming with pure joy. "I love you Rachel, more than anything in this world." He loosened his grip to let me slide slowly down his warm bare chest. He felt so good so warm and sexy.
"Paul this is crazy. We don't know each other, really. I am older than you by at least 3 years. I was not planning on staying here long. I don't really know anything about the person you are. I have no idea what you want out of life. This is insane."
"It's crazy Babe, but doesn't change my feelings at all. I know what I want out of life and she is standing right before me." He was still beaming. His joy made me happy despite myself. I reached up to stroke his face, wanting to bring him closer for a kiss. He was so much taller than me it was impossible to initiate a kiss in a subtle manner. He took the hint, but I think he had trouble suppressing his smile in order to give me a much needed kiss. I let my eyes drift close when his lips touched mine softly, in reverence. He pressed another sweet kiss and another before he slowly began to move his lips against mine. My eagerness could not be tamed, desire pooled stronger than anything I had ever known as I took control of the kiss. My lips parted to let my tongue snake forward to taste lips. He groaned. I parted his lips slightly to suck in his bottom lip. I savored this for a long moment before tangling my tongue with his. My hands moved quickly and possessively up his chest before getting to his short wavy hair. Conscious thought faded.
I can't say how far I would have gone if Paul hadn't pulled away. "It's still crazy Paul. I'm robbing the cradle" I moaned with my head pressed against his chest.
"No fair, I'm not that young. I did pretty well for myself. The most beautiful girl in the world, a college graduate and an awesome kisser, I must be the luckiest man in the world. Rachel, I will do everything in my power to make you happy." I knew he meant every word.
"Paul, let's be reasonable here. This can't be real. People don't fall in love like this just from seeing each other."
"A few of us lucky Quileutes do." He insisted.
"What?" I was baffled.
"Rachel this goes back to what I was trying to tell you a moment ago. Some of us Quileutes are fortunate enough to know our soul mate from the first look. "
"Paul, we've seen each other before, you know that the rez is not but so big, we went to high school together." The distressed look was back. I stroked his face. "Paul, just tell me already. There is nothing you could say that would change the fact that I love you. It's far too late for that. Rachel as a singular no longer exists, Paul you are my other half now. Freaky fast, irrational even, but undeniable." I heard rather than thought out my response. I calmed my own fears for the moment with those words.
He tucked me securely to his side and began walking again. "You know all the old legends, probably better than most since your Dad tells them so well. " I nodded; I knew the legends about the origins of the tribe. "Rachel the legends are true, all of them." I tried to wrap my head around this. My dad told us the legends and so did my Mom, she had heard them from her grandfather. We walked in silence his arm warming me against the cool morning breeze our steps slow both of us reluctant to leave our new found world that had to be make-believe.
I struggled to let the stories play through my mind. Our people were spirit warriors. Tahi Aki was betrayed and merged with the wolf. His descendants carried that the traits of the wolf to defend our people. The giant wolves defended our people against the Cold ones …….
Another staggering realization, except my steps didn't falter as Paul clenched me tighter a millisecond before I could.
"So you're a werewolf, is that it? You are a werewolf and so are my brother and his oversized friends. You are patrolling with the pack because there are vampires around." My voice bubbled with near hysteria.
"Rachel, I know it's a lot to take in, but stay calm. Everything is going to be fine."
"How so, Paul? Every time you or my brother is gone I will have to worry if you've been attacked by Freaking Vampires. I am going to marry a freaking werewolf. Doesn't that beat all? Worry all night if Freaking Vampires attacked my husband….O god I will be single mother. "
Paul's laugh broke through my filter free tirade. "First I accept your marriage proposal, not the way I imagined it but yes. Second don't get so worked up. I don't know if you were told these stories but the vampires nearby are the Yellow eyed vampires that our people made a treaty with many years ago. They do not attack people, they hunt animals instead. No reason to let our guard down completely but I will come back to you after every patrol. You won't raise our children alone. Better now?" He chuckled a quietly and we walked on. "The Widow Rivers, single mother" he laughed again.
Of course I wasn't better. I was mortified. Would my brain to mouth filter always fail around him. Where did that come from? Single mother, I wasn't even sure if I ever wanted kids. I took a sideways appraising look at him. Everything was toned with muscles rippling beneath his gorgeous skin. I wanted to make babies with him, most definitely.
"What about this soul mate thing? I don't recall legends about that."
"We wolves imprint. After we change into wolves for the first time if we see our soul mate we know right away. The way you described it explains it well. I am yours now and forever. It's just that usually the object of imprinting does not feel it too. I was prepared to woo you and be patient, but we skipped past all of that." Without warning I was in his arms and he was spinning me around again. "Rachel you are awesome." He kissed me soundly before letting me slide down his body to resume the walk.
"Just like that we are mated forever, we will always love each other and that's it?"
"That's what it's like for me. You still have a choice in the matter."
I glanced sideways at him. I took in his pure male beauty before focusing on his adoring gaze. He loved me it was pure and it radiated off of him. I couldn't imagine ever walking away from the almost tangible feel of his love. He was wrong. I certainly no longer had a choice in what my heart decided to feel.
The sound of distant howl relaxed me immediately. A final stretch and I drifted off to sleep thinking, Rachel Black welcome to the land of make believe.